Hi all, I am a 10 year percocet user and now 2 years on oxy. I have been drinking for 25 years since I was 16. I know I am slowly killing myself but I just can’t stop what I do. A year ago I met a guy who was doing oxy 80s by crushing and snorting. He would sell me them too and borrow my 20s when out of his and so on and so on. It got really crazy; this guy had himself convinced he needed 12 80s a day. Amazingly his doctor prescribed that amount to him for a fused spine he has. Anyways I had the opportunity to move far away and did so. I am now living with my son and wife with no friends like mr oxy man. Now my new doctor I hunted down prescribes 8 oxy 20s to me for every day. I am supposed to take 60mg in the morning and 60 in the evening and 40 for the middle of the night if I need it. My tolerance was up to 2 50, 300mg per day when I was really abusing it but now I am at about 200 and I am trying to get it on track at 160mg. I just can’t stop snorting them; the effect is just not the same. I know it’s wrong; I hide my s********************er and straw and do it when my wife is in the shower or when she leaves for work. I am a stay home dad who does allot of internet eBay selling so I am home all day. Now I am still snorting and still drink every night. My wife has no idea how bad my addiction is, she works hard and drinks maybe a small bottle of wine every night. But I am a 20oz hard stuff per night drinker. My liver is fine according to my doctor and I am in ok shape. But I do feel like im getting old. I guess the first steps to getting clean and sober is to admit I have a serious problem. But I just can’t stop this insanity.

[Cats Meow]

You're not going to get better unless you do something, you can't hide your addiction forever, and it has to be costing you a lot of money, and you know alcohol is one of the worst drugs around.
Suboxone is tailor made for someone like you, but you can't drink on it. Why wait until you hit rock bottom to do something? I'm sure you don't want to lose you wife and family.
For someone like you, in all honesty you need in-house substance abuse treatment. Do something for yourself before you lose it all and it's too late. I'm sure you're not a bad person, many here can relate to your problems, and it's great you recognize you have a problem. The only magic answer is to stop, and you need professional help with that. Please consider it, there really is hope for you.
Good luck.

Thanks Cats Meow, I wanted to stop the drinking and snorting but it got even worst today and I went and bought a 40oz of rum at noon today and started drinking at 2pm. I been mad at myself all day for this, the wife is out of town so I was able to hide this. My son is so young he thinks its normal for me to drink all day. It really is a sad situation. But I have been doing less oxys, no longer buying extras and getting by on my script of 160mg a day. Its 10pm here now and I am half way through my bottle, will have about half tomorow. Sometimes I wake up and dump my bottle down the drian, but lately I have found it helps me through the day.

Damm I am so pissed at myself.

[Cats Meow]

Cantstop, hey at least work on it on your own, taper down and quit snorting to start with, break those bad habits one by one. Start swallowing the pills, yeah so they hit you a little slower, it's a place to start. Get tough with yourself and don't teach your son by example. Break the cycle.
It's good to get mad at yourself, it shows you have conscience, and that speaks volumes about your character.

[oxy_killer]

the first thing i think you need to do is have a serious discussion with your loved ones and doctor and contemplate a rehab program. This is not something you are going to get through all by yourself. You need the support of your loved ones. The people who love us will take to the news better when YOU ask for help.Good luck .

oxy_killer

Thanks guys, I will deal with this, great Tom Petty show on PBS tonight, his music kinda gives me inspiration to kick my habits.

Hi all, 3/4 of my 40 downed last night and im not even hung over, I now realize my first and foremost problem is drinking. I am able to drink heavily due to the drugs I take for my bad back. I want to quit everything but like cat says, I have to do one thing at a time. Frigen booze is the worst thing for me, 25 years has made me a pro at drinking but its killing me. I want to live for my awesome wife and son; I want to be there for him as he grows up. Today is my first day on the wagon; I only hope I can find the strength to stay on it. Of to a car show in Montreal with my son. Will report later on, thanks for the support.

[mpvt]

Hi Cantstop: I would suggest you get into a alcohol rehad\detox centre asap.One of these days your going to fall asleep or pass out and with the oxycodone in your sytem you may stop breathing and die.This unfortunately happens all to often and it's usually written off as alcohol poisoning which is not the truth.You also need to do this for yourself and not for anyone else.I really hope you get help soon as I fear the worst is on the horizon.Good luck to you.......Dave

True but I think i can do it on my own, I am determined to stop drinking, I am not drinking tonight and I am also not going to snort again. And your right, I need to do this for myself.

Thanks for the words of wisdom.

Dave, your advice has me really thinking seriously. I havent drank tonight and dont plan to start again. I dont know how many times I have told myself this but now I have the fear of dieing like never before.

I am at my parents tonight so it was easy to stay sober, but I cant sleep now. I am getting these wierd twitching in my body when I am just about to fall asleep. Is this due to the lack of alcohal in my system? I just had to do another 40mg and I crush them before swalowing them as I want to sleep now, I have to function tomorow and need the sleep.

By th way, my time is 6 hours ealyer for some reason, I posted last post at 3:30am, by 9:30 I was off to the show, was awsome.

its 11:48 here now, still sober but hi on week and oxy.

Life is good.

[Cats Meow]

I hope you're able to change your name to "Canstop".

[mpvt]

The jerks you are experiencing are likely myoclonic spasms which eventually effect all opiate addicts especially when you are begining to fall asleep.They are harmless but it usually points to a abuse problem.I was getting them for the whjole 23 years I was actively abusing.I've been on methadone almost 6 years now and I don't get them anymore....Good luck.....Dave

Well I am still sober and I feel much better. I am still taking about 200mg of the oxy and cantstop them, I use to do 3 to 400 but have it down to 200 now. Does anyone know if there are doctors in Ontario Canada who prescribe Suboxone. From what I have been reading this is the way to go for me. I just cant find a doctor, have called everywhare.

Thanks and any sugestions would be appriciated.

[Cats Meow]

Good going, MPVT should be able to point you in the direction of a Sub doc. You might want to get a little more time under your belt without the booze first. Be advised you will have to be in WD for 24 hours before you can take the first dose of SubO, you might want to try and taper down a little more first to make it easier on yourself.
You're making good progress!

Thanks Cat, I am going for 160mg per day this week then 140 next week and so on. What is MPVT? Is this a Canadian organization? do you have a number?

[mpvt]

Hi Cantstop: Mpvt is my nick here at drugs dot com.The way I understand it any doctor in Ontario can order suboxone for addiction.Your best bet is to phone your local methadone clinic and ask them were you can get suboxone(buprenorphene) prescribed.Methadone licensed doctor's have always been able to prescribe buprenorphene but they had to get what's called a "special access" from Health Canada.That special access is gone as of November 2007.So give that a try and see what happens.Buprenorphene is definately the way to go in my opinion.Good luck......Dave

[vduda]

Can'tstop,

Hey bro,

I feel your pain. My concern is that your mixing alcohol and opiods. Deadly combination. The 10 years I was taking opiods I didn't drink so my liver held up pretty good. However, that can change from one day to the next. Literally, my Liver started to go bad from one week to another. Look at my other replies and you will see the crazy amounts of opiods and benzos I was taking.

Look, you may need to go to a facility that can help you detox off the alcohol first. Depending on how long you have been drinking you can actually die from withdraws. This happens with benzos also. But if your a stage 4 or 5 alcoholic you need medical supervision.

The two times I went through detox the people addicted to alcohol had a pretty easy time in recovery. Unfortunately, they also had a high rate of relapse.

So you have two demons to conquer. Like I said, work on one problem at a time. I should of taken my own advice. I went to a facility were I recieved Buprenix shots. When I went through withdraws the first detox the shots helped with the withdraws. But I could not get off the Xanax. After being off of the opiods for 3 months I started again and went on for another 1 and a half years. It literally killed me.

Now it has been four months since I went through my second detox. I was bed ridden for over a month. The Buprenix (Liquid Suboxone) shots in the beginning did not help. The klonopine tapper did not help. The Dilantin did not help. Basically, after spending 6 days at the detox dept in the hospital I was sent home with a few klonopines, bottle of Dilantin and about 20 Ambien. So I went "Cold Turkey". I had over 120 seizures, could not get out of bed for days at a time, could not eat for 14 days, and finally not sleeping for days and days at a time I nearly died. Also the smells were overwhelming. I could smell everything and it made me sick to my stomach. Also I still have diarrhea after four months. Damed if you do and damed if you don't. After four months of being clean my doctor put me on a 3mg dose of Xanax a day. I only take .50 before I go to bed to get a couple hours sleep. Frankly, my body cannot adjust to having no benzos. Putting it in perspective, going from 40 to 50mg of Xanax a day for a decade to .5 is an accomplishment. Further, I do not dose myself. A close relative gives me my .5 at night.

The insomnia is horrible, almost crippling. In fact, I was dosed with Haldol and Halcion at Detox because I did not sleep for 4 straight days and started to hallucinate and hear voices. That was a nightmare. You lose time and your mouth does not work. Crazy...Crazy.

One more thing. You have to let your loved ones know what your going through right now. In short, you have to have a good support system or you won't make it. Everything you do in the dark will be brought out into the light. So take control and let your wife know what is going on with you. If she loves you she will be there when you come out on the other side. You can do it. God Bless

I am still on the same fn path to distruction, I have tried to find help but there is nothing I have found in Canada for help.

I guess I will never recover.

[musicman48]

Originally Posted by Cantstop

I am still on the same fn path to distruction, I have tried to find help but there is nothing I have found in Canada for help.

I guess I will never recover.

Can you make it to Ontario? MPVT said that Drs there can prescribe Suboxone for you.Giving up is a selfish act.Your addiction not only effects you.It effects your loved ones too.

[musicman48]

Originally Posted by Cantstop

I am still on the same fn path to distruction, I have tried to find help but there is nothing I have found in Canada for help.

I guess I will never recover.

I just read this article that says sub is available in Canada.What part of Canada are you in? Here is an HTML link to the article.BTW I am just trying to help.


http://74.125.95.132/search?q=cache:...lnk&cd=5&gl=us

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Cantstop

I am still on the same fn path to distruction, I have tried to find help but there is nothing I have found in Canada for help.

I guess I will never recover.

You CAN obtain suboxone in Canada. Health Canada approved Suboxone for use in Canada in May 2007. There are more strict regulations in Canada than the USA about prescriptions but it's available.

Drs are required to supervise the dispensing of the medication for the first two months (except weekends/holidays) similar to the way methadone is done according to the way I understand the legal aspect of all this. But there is NO reason to just blow this off and say "I guess I will never recover."

Schering-Plough Canada, Inc is the company that handles this. Go to the following link. It's a year old release but no way the law has changed since this press release. There are telephone numbers, email addresses, medical association contacts listed, all kinds of ways to find it. Let us know about your success please.

DON'T EVER GIVE UP. That isn't the answer ever. God bless.

http://www.metadame.org/suboxone/SUB...Nt_10Dec07.pdf

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by musicman48

I just read this article that says sub is available in Canada.What part of Canada are you in? Here is an HTML link to the article.BTW I am just trying to help.


http://74.125.95.132/search?q=cache:...lnk&cd=5&gl=us

Looks like we both pulled up the EXACT same press release musicman! I would say that is a pretty good indication that we are correct. Great minds think alike. Have a great evening my friend. I'm off to Wednesday church services. Catch you later. God bless.

[musicman48]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

Looks like we both pulled up the EXACT same press release musicman! I would say that is a pretty good indication that we are correct. Great minds think alike. Have a great evening my friend. I'm off to Wednesday church services. Catch you later. God bless.

Wow ! That is kind of weird...lol..