I don't know what to do :(

[worriedwife14]

I'm at my wit's end. I worry all day, every day. I don't know how to be supportive. I don't know what to do anymore.
Every word that comes out of his mouth, I doubt. Every word.
What am I supposed to do? I don't know if we can recover from this. I don't know if I'm strong enough.
How can I trust him? He says he doesn't expect me to, and understands, but I don't know what to do. I feel like every word is full of deceit. Every word is said to make me doubt myself. I've been lied to for our entire life together. How does someone recover from that?
His problem has become mine. Now it's something that I have to deal with every day.
I am skeptical of everything he says. I don't know how much of it is in my head and how much of it is real. Am I blowing everything out of proportion because I feel so out of control? Or am I right?
I feel like my entire life is hanging by a thread. I feel even worse now than when I first found out.
I don't know why I'm even posting this. What I am looking for. Maybe I just needed to get it out, to tell someone. I have no one to talk to in real life about this.

[ARTIST658]

I'm at my wit's end. I worry all day, every day. I don't know how to be supportive. I don't know what to do anymore.
Every word that comes out of his mouth, I doubt. Every word.
What am I supposed to do? I don't know if we can recover from this. I don't know if I'm strong enough.
How can I trust him? He says he doesn't expect me to, and understands, but I don't know what to do. I feel like every word is full of deceit. Every word is said to make me doubt myself. I've been lied to for our entire life together. How does someone recover from that?
His problem has become mine. Now it's something that I have to deal with every day.
I am skeptical of everything he says. I don't know how much of it is in my head and how much of it is real. Am I blowing everything out of proportion because I feel so out of control? Or am I right?
I feel like my entire life is hanging by a thread. I feel even worse now than when I first found out.
I don't know why I'm even posting this. What I am looking for. Maybe I just needed to get it out, to tell someone. I have no one to talk to in real life about this.

Dear Worried Wife,

First off, before you do anything else, get yourself to some Alanon or Naranon meetings.

The disease of addiction affects everyone around the addict - and you need the guidance and support that these groups can offer. Quite often, our loved ones are more affected by our disease that we (as addicts) are; the addict can 'numb' their feelings with more drugs. The family members are stuck dealing with their emotions through it all. It can drive you to the point of questioning your sanity - please, please, please... get hooked up with your own meetings.

Alanon: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Naranon: http://www.nar-anon.org/Nar-Anon/Nar-Anon_Home.html

Just as the addict becomes consumed with obsessive thoughts about the drug - our loved ones become consumed with obsessive thoughts about us, and whether or not we're using. It truly is a family disease. Your worries are only driving you crazy, but not solving anything. There is nothing he can say or do that will reassure you. So you just go round-and-round in your head, driving both of you insane. Get help. You are not alone with what you're dealing with.

God bless,
Ruth