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I discovered ADHD is the cause of my drug addictions, and opiate addictions.
I have personally been through the opiate withdrawal process about 6 times, and it simply never worked, until now, and here is why:
In my recent drug addict process, I found Aderall. (STOP. Do NOT PRE-JUDGE.) The word 'Aderall' to most people instantly turns to 'drug seeking' - which is widely spread, and abused, which is preventing people like me with actual ADHD who need this medication to control, uncontrollable actions within our selves.
Before I continue, I want everyone to know I have been confirmed moderate to severe ADHD, by both a psychotherapist and MD therapist. I have been on 30 MG XR Aderall for the past few days and it has simply been a blessing - I finally have control of my life for the first time - I ever have.
I am 29 years old, with 9 years of drug addiction behavior. I developed ADHD at the age of 14, and managed to go 6 years before discovering the impulsive instant gratification of drugs.
I have tried EVERY drug know to man, including heroin, meth, X, molly, weed, >>>> weed - everything with the exception of LSD and Kratom (which is a drug, not medication.)
After going to both the psychotherapist and therapist, I have finally found what was the cause of all my drug addiction. I know many of you may think this is just justification for use of more drugs, when it is not. The only drug I now take (and this was overnight ending) is Aderall.
I was using every drug known, in an attempt to calm myself down, from the uncontrollable affect of ADHD within me. My ADHD caused me to discover drugs, and if you know anything about ADHD - the symptoms and effects are simply uncontrollable. I CANNOT stress this enough. With ADHD - willpower doesnt mean a damn thing, because your brain simply cannot control yourself when your symptoms are acting up. You can live with ADHD, without medication, however I personally need a short to long term plan of being on Aderall 6-12 months so I can develop personal habbits, and positive cycles of reinforcement, that allow you to wien off the medication and control it yourself.
It is possible with help to control this disorder without medication, but for most recently diagnosed, medication plays a vital roll.
Notice how I call it medication, not a drug. Medications and Drugs are chemically the same, the only difference is if you are USING for properly, as directed, as prescribed - not ABUSING for a high.
I am finally one of those people. Please don't misunderstand this post, as I am not a doctor, and never will be.
I am simply trying to say to those out there that have tried and failed to get off opiates - and specifically suboxone (for me, this is the first time in ever I have gone 5 days without suboxone)
PLEASE don't misunderstand this post as "Aderall is a quick fix for opiate withdrawals" - IT IS NOT. It may cover withdrawals, but you will just be in the same place without proper diagnoses.
Aderall without therapy and properly taken as prescribed - is totally an extremely abusive and addictive drug.
That however does not mean it cannot be used as a proper medication, hence why it is a schedule 2 narcotic.
This entire post, is hopefully to help those who are like me, who have gone years never understanding why they cannot get off opiates no matter how hard they try - because its not a matter of willpower, but for some of us it's the uncontrollable nature of ADHD.
I am not saying everyone addicted to opiates has ADHD - however I will say if you have tried to get off opiates more than a few times - please look into ADHD.
My ADHD caused me to impuslively get into drugs, and once I started the cycle of hard drugs, it was impossible to break without finding the cause - you MUST find the cause why you are using, and YOU CANNOT DO IT ALONE.
My life has turned for the better twice - once when I went to outpatient treatment that helped me discover the tools to defeat drugs, but until I discovered the ADHD within my self - I had no chance of ever beating opiates personally.
Keep in mind I was recently diagnosed last week, and started medication 5 days ago. However that day, I went from the day before taking 1mg suboxone to 30mg XRs, and YES both my doctor/therapist and my pyschotherapist know about it.
All I am trying to say, is that I personally know now, that my ADHD casued the entire cycle. It was something I had no control over, and now with proper help, I am finally moving on. ADHD caused my axiety and depression which lead me to the horrible cycle of drugs.
I am now getting help, proper medication and therapy and I have never been happier in my entire life.
Just something to consider if you have tried and failed many times to break the cycle of opiates. Your opiate addiction may be due to ADHD - as ADHD is estimated to be in around 20% of the adult population.
Thoughts comments questions please.
Matthew Roseborough (on the 5th day to actual recovery for the first time in my life.)
(If you want to learn about ADHD or think you might have it - see the BBC Horizon "Living with ADHD" special, it changed my life, as not only did some of it make sense, but the entire documentary described me to the letter.)
at 5 days in, scuse me but im sceptical as hell, lets see how you are after 5 months eh.... good luck to you
I am too, its only been 5 days. Looking for outside opinion and ideas. The last thing I want to do is convince myself of something that isn't true.
Although one of the biggest misunderstandings with ADHD people is they are pre-judged, and then react negatively to it. ADHD is widely misunderstood. If this post helps one person out there, then it will also help me in my own way.
thanks for the support, I really want to understand - and kick the ???? out of my drug addiction once and for all - or atleast be in the recovering addict stages, which I believe I am.
It just sucks the literal aid for ADHD is a schedule 2 narcotic, I honestly need to talk more to completely understand I'm not doing this for a high, but to actually recover, and ADHD has made it 10x harder.
Last edited by matt4848; 05-26-2012 at 05:29 PM.
Addiction is a disease unto itself. Addiction is not "caused" by another condition. And addiction is not "cured" by correcting an underlying condition. Once you are an addict, the disease is with you for life.
For example, my first exposure to legally prescribed narcotics was due to severe migraines. It was many years before these medications became a problem for me, such that it could be termed an "addiction." Nevertheless, I can not claim that the migraines "caused" me to become addicted. I had the genetic markers for addiction within me from birth. It's a mix of genetic/sociological/personality factors that give rise to this disease.
My migraines are under control today. But I still am a drug addict - in recovery. I can not use any mood-altering chemical in safety. Just because my migraines are treated does not mean I am free of this disease. And it certainly does not guarantee success in recovery.
We used drugs to escape what we were feeling - physically and/or emotionally. In order to recover, we need to learn the tools to deal with life without that "escape."
There are a number of medications available for ADHD - that are NOT addictive. If you are serious about staying in recovery, you need to FIRST explore any and every other option that is available that is NOT addictive. Addicts can not control their drug use. Even when a drug is legitimately called for, we can not control our use of the drug. That is a basic hallmark of addiction.
Here's list from this site of ADHD medications: http://www.drugs.com/condition/atten...-disorder.html
As an addict, you need to steer clear of any that are marked as "CNS stimulants." If your doctor is (a) fully educated on the disease of addiction, and (b) fully educated on your history, he/she will know that a stimulant like adderall is NOT the first drug to try. Any doctor worth his salt knows that you don't give an addict an addictive drug. One of the greatest dangers is that your disease doesn't care if the drug is for legitimate use or not; the use of any addictive drug keeps our addiction plugged in. And it is next to impossible to have that active addiction plugged in and still stay clean! We're a walking time bomb.
The ONLY way to recover from the disease of drug addiction is abstinance.
Before you go advising others of the merits of ADHD diagnosis as the so-called "cause" of your addiction, you need to understand addiction. Before you proclaim that you are "happier than you've ever been" after 5 days on this drug and "therapy" - give it some time. Sadly, I do believe you'll come to see that the monster that is addiction is still alive and well within you, and will be doing all it can to get your attention. Stopping suboxone abruptly at 1mg and jumping to adderall may be setting you up for a fall. Suboxone was blocking the cravings. They may return with a vengeance.
I urge you to get yourself to some NA or AA meetings and address your drug addiction.
You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.
Matt, ADHD did NOT cause your addction. What you are saying is you are dually diagnosed, Addiction is genetic in nature and not caused by any other condition although one can have underlying conditions as Artist said. There is no cure for addiction other than abstinencce. One can get well, but NOT cured. With the half life of subs the aderall could set you up for precip. wd not sure on that but seems risky to me.
You may have been using to self medicate the ADHD, initially but the high came in sometimes somewhere. Guarantee there is addition somewhere iv your background.
As Ruth said this is a disease unto itself not the result of some underlying cause. IMO you are setting yourself up for one hell of a fall Surfdog
Didn't know that matt thanks for the info, I need one of those self correcting keyboards badlyyyy lol
Thanks for asking so far so good started me two new heart drugs kinda difficult to get used to. felt great yesterday, today like &^%$, but certainly beats the alternative. Have to find some humor somewhere, this could be terribly depressing. Thanks for the concern and support my friend God Bless you Surfdog
I had pretty much the same "epiphany" 6 months ago when I discovered I had ADHD. The glow is short-lived, my friend. Its a little early to be saying your life has been saved because you're feeling great for the past 2 days after taking a drug that's on the controlled list, FOR A REASON. The only habits you're likely to develop over the next 6 months is an adderall habit!
Blaming ADHD for your years of abuse is not the answer, trust me! I thought all my life's problems were solved 6 months ago when I practically said the exact same things you're saying here. I'd love to see an update on this in about 5 or 6 months... All the best!
Originally Posted by matt4848
We haven't heard back from you in nearly a month. I hope our responses didn't send you running from this forum! Our words were intended to help, and I hope they didn't upset you.
Could you post again soon, and let us know how you're doing? I wish you nothing but success!
You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.
I tried to blame sleep apnea for my drug use too. It takes some time but you'll realize addiction stands very well on its own Matt. I was addicted to Adderall for about a year and have some close friends who are as well. I've never seen anyone OVER 18 take their Adderall as prescribed. I would never give that stuff to my child (not knocking anyone who does). I would probably garble it up MYSELF...but wouldn't give it to my kid. It's an amphetamine for cripes sake. I agree with Artist, try searching some alternatives for ADHD. I'll be very bold and say I think ADHD is a made up disease to drug up society. I really, really do. Don't we all have ADHD or ADD? I don't want to pay attention to anything that is not pleasing to me. I have a hard time focusing on things that are boring to me, yes. Don't we all?
I'm not trying to offend anyone, but I think ADD and ADHD is a bunch of phooey. My nephews are on Ritalin & Adderall. I'm betting 10 to 1 they will become teenage drug addicts because of the MEDICINE, not the "DISEASE".
I'm so sorry you feel that way and your opinion is just that, yours. But i have children with ADHD and trust me in some cases medication is absolutely necessary for the child to function and pay attention especially in school. My son couldn't sit still long enough to learn his abc's til he was medicated at 5 years old. He isn't dumb he just couldn't pay attention because his body couldn't be still. It isn't always the case my 16 year is controlled by diet and exercise. Just thought you should know.
Originally Posted by 6145jodic
That was just one person's opinion, Jodi. I think that anticipating future drug addiction is quite a leap to presume.
I've witnessed the difference that the right ADHD medication can make for a child. It can spell the difference between their getting an education - or getting so overwhelmed by school that they act out. If diet and exercise isn't enough, it can be called for.
Incidentally, my posts on this thread were directed toward someone who already experienced drug addiction - and therefore, can not take some medications in safety, without re-igniting his addiction.
I wish you all the best with your children.
Ruth or anyone really.. I have a few questions. I recently just got off suboxone 10 days ago. I have been seeing a therapist for about a month to help me, I haven't noticed any difference since going to her and talking, yesterday they wrote me a script for methylpheidate for a month and they want me to try it and come back in 3 weeks. I havent taken the script to the pharmacy. My girlfriend says she is 99.9 percent against it but she is considering the .1 percent. I dont want to relapse, I want to be clean and stay clean. I know she feels like I should just work on taking nothing so nothing triggers me and I start doing addictive behavior things again. I think ADHD medication would help me function at work alot, and that is mainly why I began seeking for a doctor.
Originally Posted by ARTIST658
Do you feel that the non addictive ADHD medications(which I am unsure what those are but will look them up) would be beneficial even in the slightest bit? If you were in my shoes, would you even try to find a solution or just work on taking nothing and staying clean?
I feel so lost right now, I dont know what to do.
I didn't read this whole thread so if I repeat something I'm sorry. I took adderall, I am an addict. You are in the honeymoon phase of adderall, where it keeps you high all day. The problem is after 3-5 weeks you will not feel the same, you will get used to the amph and it will not do what it is doing now. Personally I took them for about 5 weeks and by the 5th week I felt nothing from 60mgs ir so I stopped, waste of time. But when I started them I was just like you, I thought I found the answer to all my problems. For the first few days I was flying, I was high as a kite. It wasn't my add under control it was an amph high period, just like if I did coke or street meth. If I was you I would seriously look at the situation. From what I've read if you get high from adderall you don't really have add, I don't know if thats true but I will tell you that the high you are feeling is temporary. Then also I got sick of crashing every night and then having trouble sleeping or taking something like xanax to sleep. Adderall is fools gold trust me and get out while you are ahead. Or if you insist on continuing take them 2 days on two days off or something like that so they don't lose the kick. Otherwise you will be stuck a few weeks from now wondering why you feel nothing any more frome your adderall. I wish you the best of luck whatever your decision.
Don't fill the script. Read my above post. What you were prescribed is ritilin(sp?) and its an amphetamine it will feel good at first but loose its potency quickly. Bppd you have helped me a lot, let me help you here, don't go on ritilin. Yes it will help at first but it will stop working and you may get addicted.
Originally Posted by bppb
Last edited by pgcc; 08-16-2012 at 03:24 PM.
Bp, the first thing that came up when I googled that drug (and yes, it's Ritalin) from the NIH.gov site was a warning that THIS DRUG IS HABIT-FORMING. I would NEVER EVER speak for Ruth, but I do think shewould likely advise you to wait before taking another mind-altering, addictive substance. you are so newly clean, you have to give yourself time to adjust to not being on any substance. See what exactly your body can do on its own, give yourself time to recover and rediscover yourself substance-free. Hang tough, and maybe think about going to an NA meeting? Hoping for the best for you.
Oh, and you are right adderall makes you forget about doing all other drugs while you are high on it. But once used to it you will get frustrated and just look for something else. I believe its a temporary fix not an answer. Just my humble opinion from my experience.
I never would speed off of adderall or coke or meth or anything. I actually hated the way they made me feel. I remember taking Ritalin as a kid and it made me a zombie and I hated it and told my parents I didnt want to take it anymore so they stopped giving it to me. Is that normal to not speed on these?
From what I have read on add if you really have add these meds will not make you speed just calm you down. So, maybe you are one of the few who really have add. But there are other add drugs that are no speed. I would check them out first.
Originally Posted by bppb
Thanks, I appreciate it.
Originally Posted by pgcc
Originally Posted by bppb
Therapy is a very gradual process of growth - so it isn't the kind of thing where you'll "see" a difference in a set period of time. It's a process- not a light switch that goes from "off" to "on." Often, we don't even realize the progress we've made until we're up against an old "trigger" and recognize that we're responding differently now. Oftentimes, it's other people that notice our growth before we do. But, in therapy terms, one month is still very, very new to the process... so be patient. So far, you've been building a relationship with your counselor - establishing some trust, and opening up some of the "stuff" that's burdening you within. This builds with time.
Does the therapist know your full addiction history? And is the therapist aligned with whomever is prescribing you the methylphenidate??? It seems to me, ANY respectable doctor would not jump to prescribe such an addictive drug to an admitted drug addict. If he/she does know your past and still wants to prescribe this, I'd be very suspect of their so-called wisdom.
As I said earlier in this thread, there are many safer alternative medications to treat ADHD - and it only makes sense to explore THOSE safer options, before you jump to use methylphenidate. YES, I do believe that these other medications can be quite beneficial!!! Please try one or more of them before anything else. If I were you, and the other safer meds did not work, I'd be tempted to manage it on my own - with therapy - before I'd take speed. (That is basically what methylphenidate is!)
You just worked so hard to get to where you are - sub free since 8/6/12. TREASURE and PROTECT that sobriety, as it truly is a fragile gift. It is so easily lost, just by one small step in the wrong direction. When it comes to ANY medication, you have to be your own best advocate. You can not put the full responsibility in the hands of a doctor who may or may not have a thorough knowledge of drug addiction. This drug is dangerous. This drug is highly addictive. You already have the disease of addiction - and that means that you can not take ANY mood-altering, mind-altering addictive drug safely. Do not take chances at the loss of your recovery. Explore online for dietary changes, natural remedies and non-addictive medications to treat the ADHD. But do not do anything that will jeopardize your recovery.
You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.
Adderall isn't all bad & No good
I too was diagnosed with ADHD almost 4 months ago now. I already have severe anxiety disorders including (generalized anxiety, PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), social anxiety, & depression). I was diagnosed with the anxiety disorders around 6 yrs. ago. I finally came to terms with myself about 8 months ago, that I also had major depression. I was too embarrassed to tell my Doctor (I don't know why, he's been nothing but wonderful to me.) In May of 2010 I was also diagnosed with Endometriosis (I was put on many pain killers & meds that were supposed to help me feel better) it just made things worst with me. I was back in that mind set of addiction. After I had my Laparoscopy done, I was still experiencing pain. So my OBGYN reffered me to a Urologist. He soon did a Cystoscopy & we found out that I also have Interstitual Cystitis (I.C. or "The Evil Twin of Endo.) This was only a month later in 2010. Next around 2 years ago now, I was told to go see a Gastrointinologist, he soon diagnosed me with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). All capible of causing depression, anxiety, & of course severe pain, & many more symptoms that are irritating and intollerable. I was so fed up with seeing Specialists & hearing more bad news. I soon became severely depressed, and never told anyone how I felt until about 8 months ago. My post traumatic stress disorder was one of the first forms of depression I ever felt. That came from the unexpected loss of my Sister, who passed away suddenly from a platelet disorder called ITP (auto-immune disease of the platelets & white blood cell count). I refused to do anything about it when I should have, except for cover my pain/hurt with drugs. She passed away in July of 2000. She was 18 yrs. old & I was 14 yrs. at the time. We were closer than any other sisters I've ever known. She was also always there looking out for me, & keeping me from doing stupid things with friends. She was like a second Mom to me Anyways, after she passed away, I started to experiment with different drugs. I too ended up getting into the hard stuff. Heroin & crack cocain. After about 2+ years of abusing these street drugs, I found out that I was pregnant. I stopped the drug use cold turkey, and stayed far far away from the people that I thought were my friends. I was so lonely and scared that I was about to have a baby at the age of 19. Anyways, to make a long story short as I can, I kicked the drugs right after I found out I was pregnant. I decided to see a drug therapist to help me get to the bottom of my addiction. I didn't stick with it long, but I know I now have the right tools (almost 9 years later) to do what I need to, which is to take care of my two children now & be the best fiance' to the father of our two kids that I can be. I have still to this day have not fully recovered from her death. I'm still learning how to let her go. Not forget Her, just live my life happy & keep her in my memory. So any help I'm receiving, is what's best for me & my family. I am now on numerous meds. for all of the issues I have going on now. I am seeing a fantastic Phychiatrist. I've been working with him for about a year & a half now. We've tried so many anti-depressants, I've been on xanax for about 6 yrs. now, when I was only seeing my PCP. He soon reffered me to my Phychiatrist that I see now. He wants me to stay on it. I take 20mg of Lexapro (for my depression, anxiety & it also helps boost the Adderall.) I'm taking 20mg Adderall XR 3x per day, and 2mg Xanax up to 3x per day (but now that I've been on Adderall, I'm only taking one 2mg pill per day because since taking Adderall for my ADHD & depression, it's helping me lower my dose of the Xanax I've never in my life felt this "normal" & this alive! Before I started the ADHD medicine, I was always laying on the couch or sleeping/napping whenever I can, I'm finally happy once again & I'm ready to start living my life again. It's been way too long since I've been happy & content with myself. I had ruined so many relationships/friendships during my journey since my Sister passed. I was on a road to distruction. I thank God everyday for the life I'm now living. Sorry for such a long reply. I hope I can be some help to someone out there Take care, Lisp714