[addicted_n_seattle]

I am an addict. I am here for help and let others know they are not alone.

I am trying to kick dope ($100/heroin habit) and I am sick. Its been 24 hours. I am sweating, my stomach feels someone is ringing it out, every muscle is screaming in pain. My eyes water so bad my neck is soaked. I’m panting, and I cant catch my breath. My legs barely support me to the bathroom...

I was clean for 2 years up until June, since then I have been using everyday. So I am kickin completely alone. My roommates are gone until Tuesday and I wanted to be through most of this before they return.

OMG...This sucks….I know if I use that I will have to relive the last 24 hours again. I cant. I never want to go through this again.


They say one hit is too many and a thousand is not enough. This is completely true for me. I took one hit of heroin in June and I was back chasing the needle and the dealer... I have been using 2-3 grams of tar per day. My arms are a mess of abscesses, I do have antibiotics.

The past few of weeks I use so I am not sick. Forget the high; that doesn’t happen for me anymore. Its time to stop, I hope I am strong enough.

Please offer encouragement and tell me your story with withdrawal and recovery. Tell me how you made it...

thanks

[ARTIST658]

Hi Addicted,

Although I never experienced heroin withdrawal, I certainly have endured opiate withdrawal, which is similar. I used to describe it as feeling like I'd been hit by a Mack truck - over and over. It is an ordeal, as you well know, but the freedom of overcoming is indescribable, as well. It will all pass - and thankfully, having gotten clean before, you know that. That is a bonus, knowing you've been able to do it before.

Keep your eye on the prize, so to speak. Do whatever you can to bolster your commitment and positive attitude through this. Our mindset can be a tremendous asset or liability through this process. Watch how you're talking to yourself, and try to be gentle and reassuring. Commend yourself on your courage to do it! Embrace each moment of victory as another hurdle closer to the end. As you said, yourself, you never have to go through this again.

My thoughts and prayers are with you - please keep posting, as you'll find a lot of support through this forum.

God bless,
Ruth

[TTTDogs]

Addict,
Just read oyur posts and wanted to reply right away - My Dear Friend - you have come to the right place - I am in DAY 7 of a 10 year highly concentrated morphine / percocet addiiction - and this forum SAVED MY LIFE !

I am not familiar with herion wd but I believe Morphien and herion are in the same class of drugs - I did not taper - and I too had severe symptons - so I can tell you - YOU CAN DO IT - YOU WILL DO IT - You must treat this as the greatest challenge of your body mind and spirit - one second at a time it is hard - I know - but OH so worth it - it sounds like you want this badly - as I did - I just kept telling myself - that every minute of enduring the pain in the past hours is wasted if you cave in now - I found that being idle was my enemy - I kelp movivng every 15 minutes or less - from my bed to my bath - HOT BATHS ARE WONDERFUL - live in the bath if you need to = then I would move to my computer station - then take a walk - yes as hard as that sound - it REALLY helps - almost impossible to get motivated - but at least give it a try......... talk to yourself - tell yourself you can do it - scream it if needed - you have 24 hours invested and that is something to be proud of -

You sound determined to want this behind you and are probably the kind of person who would run through walls for someone you love - Most of us would do ANYTHING humanly possible to save the life of a loved one - endure any amount of pain - - run into a burning building - make ANY sacrifice necessary. - well right now you need to muster that same level of stamina - that same courage - that same level of committment - to save your life and future - this is a painful and fearful process - but the greater fear should be the decision to not stop - the detox thakes 3+ days = the decision to not save yourself could last a lifetime -
We are here for you - I reach out my hand to hold yours- I will hang on tight and get you thru this - I will be here for you until you come out the other side - Try a hot bath and post back often!

Hugs TTT

[addicted_n_seattle]

@29 hours...

I can't sleep. I took 2 sleep pills last night and still didnt fall asleep. My legs squiver even when I am laying flat. I just went to the restroom, there is no way I can get in and out of the bath.

I wish I could go for a walk. If I do an outing. it will be to go to GNC to get the vititiam in the home withdrawal remedies. I can't wait.

thank god for dumb tv

[TTTDogs]

29 hours - WAY to go pal! 4 more hours marked off toward you goal - I know it really hurts - but for every minute you endure - is a minute closer to the finish line - just visualize what it will feel like on Tuesday - Wednesday - when you are CLEAN - no more searching for dope - no more shame - while I know how hard it is - just imagine how proud you will be to know you conquesed this - you hit the nail on the head - you do not want to go through the last 29 hours again - keep posting - BELIEVE in YOUSELF!!

TTT

[AngiesBubble82]

I am sick too. Day 2 here. Hang in there. I'm going to be honest, it'll get a whole lot worse before it gets better. I'm sorry, I'm feeling so ********ty.

[Jacqueline_1980]

Hang in there! I am detoxing from a pain med addiction right now using suboxone, but 9 years ago I kicked herion ct just like you are now. Altohugh hard, I always look back at that time as the beginning of a wonderful life. It was worth every gut wrenching second! Please stay strong and know that every year from here on out gets better and better. If there is anyway you can get to a meeting or when you are feeling a little better get to a church service, I suggest you do! These are what helped me get through the depression and loliness that come after the physical symptoms start to subside. Also, if you feel at the end of your rope like you want to use, you can always go to an emergency room and tell them what you are going through. Most of them will give you blood pressure meds, sleep meds, or anxiety meds. I had to do that a few days in. I was 20 years old, desperate, and didn't have insurance to see a doctor. The hospital treated me at no charge.
Please check in often to let us know how you are doing. We are praying for you and thinking about you.

Jackie

[TTTDogs]

Great advice Jackie - I am certain it is a comfort to know he/she is not alone - and you have endured the same symptoms.


34 hours - the countdown is on! The first 24 hour X is on the board - lets shoot for X 2! - WOW impressive - your determination is inspiring - and I just read your post - you are ALREADY reaching out to others - to lend "a hand" AMAZING - you can do this - we are here for you - post and post often - just getting your pain on paper helps - you are doing great BELIEVE in YOURSELF!

An extra HUG - TTT

[TTTDogs]

How are you doing my friend? - just checking on you!

TTT

[Freedom4me]

Hang in there. You guys can do this. I know it is hard but it has to be done if you want a better life. Please believe that. And may it see you through.

[doc.rose]

Coming to this forum was the right thing to do. Just keep posting and everyone here will pulll you through!! You are nearing 40 hours clean! What an accomplishment!! Hang in there budddy, you can do it!!

[tobiclimber]

Im praying for u as i write...U can do this!!! U r going to get through this and life will be so great for u...we all r here to help!!! U got this...keep up the great work and let us know how u r doing... God is watching over u and he will give u the strength to get through this...U r doing great..

40 plus hours....dont give up

[TTTDogs]

ADIS, - He my friend - you ok? - US KNOW YOU ARE OK - don't mean to pry - but just know we are here for you - LET US KNOW YOU ARE OK - WE CARE FRIEND!

ANOTHER HUG! ttt

[addicted_n_seattle]

I’m here; still lying in bed. I started vomiting this morning. While I didn’t sleep last night, I did sleep this afternoon but I work up within couple of hours because my muscles are screaming in pain.

Question... how much longer?? I feel like is this slow torture.

I’m going to try another nap. I will check back in after. Thanks for your support

[TTTDogs]

Ad in S,

42 hours - just speaking for myself - the 1st 72 were the worse - so you are more than 1/2 way there - You are within a few hours of putting your 2nd X on the board - THAT IS HUGE - REALLY HUGE - I know - I TRULY know it feels like forever - but hang in there my friend - you are strong and sound determined - I know the feeling of "no temporary relief" - and found that changing positions / locations was key - it is great you were able to sleep - if only for a short time - I had a chair in which I would rock myself - just a little bit of motion would help a little .....
You mental state is key - KEEP telling yourself - that you CAN handle the next 5 minutes - remain calm - do not give into the pain - there were moments at my lowest during my baths - that I would just let myself FEEL the pain - close my eyes and meditate - and tell myself that I could handle that moment - it IS a test of your mind - body and soul - IT WILL GET BETTER!

I too had "drugs" within my reach - the whole time - and managed to refrain from touching them - just completing DAY 7 - you need to do what you need to - TO NOT USE - and if that means throwing tossing them - THAT is the right decision - I ASSURE YOU - IF YOU HANG ON ANOTHER 30 HOURS - YOU WON'T WANT THEM - Ruth has a VERY powerful saying - once you are through this - "YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY AGAIN"
We are here for you - and I will check back throughout the night - I am on the east coast! A healing HUG TTT

[TTTDogs]

Ad inS,

Just another quote from RUTH - that really helped me in Day 2 ....


.You can do this - and I can not begin to tell you how much your life is going to improve, as a result! Life spent on drugs on a daily basis is not living. You'll see - just hold onto the hope, don't despair when it gets the most bleak... as the worse it gets, the greater the reward when it all passes! You won't easily forget this detox - and the memory of it will help you to stay away from those narcotics in the future.

PUSH thru the PAIN!

Hugs , TTT

[Freedom4me]

Ad in Seattle,
You can do this. Please hang on. You can succeed. Life is worth it. You know that there are only a couple ways not getting clean end up and they are not pretty. I am so proud of you.
TTT, How are you doing? I see you all over posting encouragement. I love it. Seems like you have the upper hand. Good for you!!!

[TTTDogs]

Freedom,

Thanks for asking - Day 7 - and feeling ok - nights are tough - but heck - 10 years - not missing a day - I must remain patient and believe that "normalcy" is right around the corner - I post to others to "pay it forward" - this forum has saved my life - and I could never have made it thru my bleakest moments without the love and support of this special group of folks - it also helps pass the time - so I do not dwell on my own residual symptoms - a positive release of energy and emotion - but I am well - and strong and determined - and I thank YOU for caring!

AD in S - hang in there my friend - If I can do it - YOU can do it - think of how great it will be to post your "I AM ON THE OTHER SIDE" message!

I am here for you! Hugs TTT

[Freedom4me]

TTT,
Good for you. I have been off the vicodin (8 per day) since Feb. and life is great. This site helped me too. I am sooo happy for you. 10 years! long time to make this big of a change. You are awesome. Hang in there. Life is good.

[doc.rose]

hey! Reach out to Robert, he will know the answer to your question for sure. I think you are doing great! Keep up the hard fight, you can do it!!

[etnarasuile]

Hi please read this article, I hope it can help
http://quitdrugs-etnarasuile.blogspot.com/

[TTTDogs]

Hey - Ad in S - just checking in on you - how ya doing?

The clock keeps ticking and minutes are tuning to hours and hours to days - You will get thru this - and IT IS GOING TO GET BETTER!

HUGS TTT

[addicted_n_seattle]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just took a bath,, I never knew how hard taking care of me during this time. I so wish I could had help...

Im still voimiting, achy, my skin is cold but feels like tiny needles tounch when anything tough


I was once physically addicted to Xanax; I still have a bunch of them. Can I take one without starting that addiction over again?

I’m coming up on my 48th hour. Put an X on day 1 and Day 2. This still feels like slow torture . Will I start to feel better today?

TTT- help Im trying, i'm so sick

[TTTDogs]

Ad in S,

Honestly for me - the worst lasted from about 28 - 70 hours - then it started to subside and felt better - the nights are the hardest - but you know you are 2/3 there and you have SOOOO much invested at this point - try to take in plenty of liquids - many folks detox with Xanax - I believe it is listed in the Thomas recipe - and if you use it just for the detox period - and are not currently abusing it - it may provide you some relief - Robert or Melinda could provide a better answer than I - I did my CT without ANYTHING else - but really not by choice - I am in Canada and do not have access to the Thomas ingredients - so I would think if you have to the Xanax might just help you settle a little - it is your call my friend -

I promise you - the pain does end - and I know exactly what you mean with the feeling of the pins and needles - that was one of the worse parts for me as well - how did the bath feel - any chance of walking around for a bit - I forced myself to take a walk on DAY 2 and 3 and it was a tremendous help - just a thought - hang in there my friend Tomorrow is Tuesday and you should be through the very worst of it!

I am here............ a Calming HUG TTT

[ARTIST658]

Originally Posted by addicted_n_seattle

I’m here; still lying in bed. I started vomiting this morning. While I didn’t sleep last night, I did sleep this afternoon but I work up within couple of hours because my muscles are screaming in pain.

Question... how much longer?? I feel like is this slow torture.

I’m going to try another nap. I will check back in after. Thanks for your support

Good morning,

As was suggested to me during my horrendous detox, "Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens!" Sounds corny, but so true. You don't know at what point some relief will come... followed by freedom... true freedom. Freedom of the mind, the body and the spirit... it's nothing short of miraculous.

It probably sounds ludicrous, reading these posts of folks who sound so upbeat and excited about recovery -- when you're curled up in a ball and puking, unable to get comfortable, unable to sleep. But that's one part of why we're upbeat -- because we lived through the very thing you're going through, and come to the other side. If you hold on now, you'll find that light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.

My attitude about life today is not unlike a person who has had a "near death" experience, as most of us did. Too many times, we came close to death. Too many times, we should have died, with the lethal combination of drugs we abused. Life had become so bleak, so seemingly hopeless, we saw no way out. And so, life on the other side of that nightmare is especially precious to us today. More so than had we not endured that h*ll.

The worst of the detoxing was the first 3 days...then a little improvement came each day. It is coming, very soon. All that toxic stuff is exiting... focus on that - focus on positive things, as much as you can. Our mind can be a terrible curse or a triumphant cheerleader - and the choice of what we think about is completely ours. If you focus on the pain, the pain will increase; if you focus on the gratitude, hope and freedom, that will increase.

Hope you keep posting - we're praying for you!

Blessings,
Ruth

[caughtagain]

Hey Sleepless, Keep going! You can do this. I know this is the hardest thing right now and minutes seem like days, but IT WILL Change. I promise. Start to put good things in your body as you go through this. Try some ginger ale for your stomach. Some warm tea at night. I woud use Sleepy time. THe hot bathes are great, keep it up with them. And keep those X's going. You are going to start to see them pile up, and as they do it will propel you. I am so proud of you. To be as far as you are is a sign of your commitment to this. When you need to take it second by second, do so. Know we are here for you and post often. Welcome to the warriors club! You are going to DO IT!!!...CA

[KKG]

You can do this. Im on day 8 and I feel great. I was addicted to vicodin 10/650 for almost 2 years and I didnt think I would come this far but I have. Keep posting it helps a lot. Im still in recovery too and getting past the first 4 days is hard but it does get better im promise. Keep going you are doing great!!!

[TTTDogs]

Hey AD - just checking in on you - how are you doing?

Push thru the pain - my friend - we are all here waiting for you - to come out the other side - remember Ruth's wise words;

"Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens!"

You are SOOOOOOO close!

Let us know how you are doing - post as often as you can - it really helps to get your feelings out and we are here to listen!

a concerned HUG TTT

[TTTDogs]

Hello - AD

Just wanted to check in and keep our post at the top - so it is easy for you to find - love to hear how you are doing.....

Hugs TTT

[mottam]

a_n_seattle:
I know this is tough for you - you ARE very brave!
It feels like hell now, but it WILL end.

Just a few more days, and you have your life back again.
I will pray for you.

Stay strong, stay clean, keep the faith. You are winning.

mottam