I am acountable to y'all

[money_chick]

So here goes.

I've mentioned before my pain issues, which led to my drug use. I've been clean 63 days now. Or I was until this afternoon at 5.

My back has been very bad this last two weeks- worse than I can ever remember, to tell the truth. I went to the doctor finally today, after making the decision tha yes, the pain was very real and NO, I didnt just want pills.

It looks like when I moved all the furniture a few weeks ago, I re-fractured my back where it was previously broken. I was afraid that was part of my cravings. I've been off my feet most of the week, hanging out here and laying in bed on an ice pack. I haven't even been able to decorate trees... I just supervised that part.

So, my doctor suggested pain medication, whihc he knows by looking atthe x ray I need. I told him I was afraid to relapse, at which point he offered daily pick ups of my meds. I pick a day's worth at a time. If I feel I can make it without the drugs, that's fine. He said to try and use as little as possible, and only the Soma if I could.
I agreed.

So, I want y'all to know that I am on pain meds right now. I will report on this everyday- dont be afraid to ask me about it, either.

Its a choice that needed to be made right now, and I want to be accountable and responsible about it. I want you all to be honest with me too, and tell me if I get out of line.

I love yall and thank you. Please pray I recover from this quickly and dont need them.

[money_chick]

Now Im scared no one will ever want to talk to me again!! WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

[melinda7.5]

Hi Money
Don't be silly....we love you....I just did dent know what to say...
I'm sorry that you hurt...but it scares me so much to even think about having to ever, EVER take those pills...I just feel bad for you...
You can count on me anytime...
Melinda

[melinda7.5]

Hi Money
Don't be silly....we love you....I just did dent know what to say...
I'm sorry that you hurt...but it scares me so much to even think about having to ever, EVER take those pills...I just feel bad for you...
You can count on me anytime...
Melinda

I forgot to tell you my baby girl is 17 also...

[money_chick]

Its been a struggle to decide what to do. When the cravings hit this weekend, alot of it was because I was in pain. On a scale of 10, I've been about a 6 for two weeks. Ive done all I could non-narcotic xcept steriods, which I start tomorrow.

One choice I had what was what kind of pain med. I knew I didnt need something I had to dose every 4 hours, so we decided on a Opana ER. Its twice a day, and to tell the truth I feel no buzz at all, which is great.

This should, if the steriods work, only be needed for a week, tops.

[Robert_325]

Its been a struggle to decide what to do. When the cravings hit this weekend, alot of it was because I was in pain. On a scale of 10, I've been about a 6 for two weeks. Ive done all I could non-narcotic xcept steriods, which I start tomorrow.

One choice I had what was what kind of pain med. I knew I didnt need something I had to dose every 4 hours, so we decided on a Opana ER. Its twice a day, and to tell the truth I feel no buzz at all, which is great.

This should, if the steriods work, only be needed for a week, tops.

Hey my friend. If you need pain medication you need pain medication. Even in the NA Basic Text it talks about taking medication on page 99. I think it's commendable that you are picking up meds daily and announcing it on the forum about what you are doing. I can't think of anything else you could possibly do. If I can help you know how to reach me anytime. I'm always available for you. God bless.

PS ... and for what it's worth taking meds the way you describe doesn't constitute a relapse in anyone's book that matters. You're doing great.

[Katwantshelp]

As addicts did any of us ever truly take the pills for our pain? That sure was my excuse. If you are in serious pain you should be able to take a medication you need. Just be very, very careful. I am 54 hrs Lortab free!!

Kat

[hopefulgirl]

Hi Moneychick,

We all have what I feel are test, once we are clean or tryin to get clean, mine being that I had 4 wisdom teethe removed almost two days ago. I was using Lorcets, but I really havent even had any pain from the surgery, so i've only taken a few yesterday when i had some mild discomfort, but i took Vicodin, what the dr prescribed, so I have these 20 Lorcet here & dont even think I'm gonna need them. I had only been using them again for two weeks 2day, so i do not think my wd's would be that bad if i stopped, do u?? Today, i am going to try & make it with nothing, wish me luck!!!!!

[pbs8218]

money-I am soooooo sorry about all you're going throught. I can't imagine being at that crossroads. My heart goes out to you. I just read Robert telling you, if you're in pain, you're in pain. I don't know if that technically declares you "off the wagon", but no matter WHAT- we are all here for YOU ALWAYS. I'll be thinking of you all day, and be in my prayers too. Hope you get some relief. Let me know how you doing later. Peg

[melinda7.5]

Its been a struggle to decide what to do. When the cravings hit this weekend, alot of it was because I was in pain. On a scale of 10, I've been about a 6 for two weeks. Ive done all I could non-narcotic xcept steriods, which I start tomorrow.

One choice I had what was what kind of pain med. I knew I didnt need something I had to dose every 4 hours, so we decided on a Opana ER. Its twice a day, and to tell the truth I feel no buzz at all, which is great.

This should, if the steriods work, only be needed for a week, tops.

Hi Money
I was just wondering how you are doing? I have been thinking about you this morning,Are the pain pills at least helping you with the pain,,,I hope so.
Are you cooking dinner today or do you have someone to help you?
And what about shopping in the morning???Are you going to be able to do that...LOL.I sure hope you have a good Thanksgiving.I will say a prayer for you...
Talk to you soon,Melinda

[money_chick]

First off thanks for all the support. Robert,, that meant alot what you said- I just dont hold myfeel like this is a relapse at all.

Yes, the medicine works great for the pain. This morning I've been able to get up, get dressed, fix my hair ( which is really long, and I couldnt hold my arms up long enough to fix all week) and I've started cooking. This is a long acting medicine, and I guess it has continued to work all night. I havent had a dose today at all, but was due one at 5 this morning.

I will do most of my shopping inline, I think, though now that I CAN stand up, I might go meet my sister and the ladies of teh family for breakfast after they shop. We do that every year.....

I'm so glad not to be hurting though. This was ridiculous.

By the way, I wanted to say I was impressed with my doc. I didnt know just what to expect, but he was wonderful by gvinng a controlled release med for me that wouldnt get me high.. His words...lol...

Have a great thanksgiving!

[SoMuchToBeCleanFor]

Thanks so much for the card money chick! Sorry I haven't gotten to say thanks until now, our internet has been down off and on the last few days. You totally made me day, thanks so much for thinking of me. Yesterday was rough and REALLY long, but today was a lot better. We went shopping for a long time (which actually wasn't that bad), and my mom was being semi-normal... but I don't want to jinx myself! Anyways, I get to hang out with my best friend tonight hopefully, and I'm really looking forward to that. I hope your day was great, and that your pain continues to decrease. I've been thinking about you, and hoping all is well with your back. Take care!

[money_chick]

You are so welcome- my mom was manic depressed so I get what you were dealing with today....

I had the best day. I was able to take my two teenage girls shopping, out to eat, we knocked out most of our christmas. I only had to take the one dose of the med this morning, and it worked all day!

Who knew pain meds WORKED for pain when you didnt abuse them?! LOL.

So far, I'm feeling so much better. And being able to be a little more active has gotten the depression on the move, thank God.

I'm going to try discontinuing the meds tomorrow, since the steriods should start working soon and I wont have much to do the next couple of days.

I know we talk alot about chronic pain and how to deal with it. And I hope I never have to use them again. BUT.... it is possible, with supervision and proper use, to treat the pain SHORT TERM and come out ok.

I hope you all had a great day!

[Robert_325]

money_chick ... for what it's worth I am proud of the way you've handled this entire thing. In the time we have known of each other I've seen you disappear from the forum into major relapes at least a couple different times I know of. But this time you've done everything since day one differently. And now when you have a legitimate reason for medication you are tracking your every step. That is what it takes. There is very little doubt I think that you will be successful this time. Congratulations. God bless.

[lilbri]

Could someone tell me how the steriods work on your back. I think it's the only thing i haven't tried yet. Oh goodluck with your back pain money_chick i am sorry for your pain and worried that i might be right behind you. Brian

[learning_to_be_free]

[QUOTE=money_chick;217767]You are so welcome- my mom was manic depressed so I get what you were dealing with today....

[QUOTE=SoMuchToBeCleanFor;217762] We went shopping for a long time (which actually wasn't that bad), and my mom was being semi-normal... but I don't want to jinx myself! we should start a club for surviving our mothers really I give you guys credit to deal with this addiction and a walking, talking(screaming) huge trigger. I havent spoken to my mother in 2 years. I dont think I could deal with her right now...

[money_chick]

Thank you, Robert. Yes, I usually relapse and run off and hide till time to wd again.

Today I did have to use one of the pills, but thats ok. Thats what its for. I ended up with more to do than I had thought and ended up about 12 just giving up and taking it.


I'm starting to get afraid if I dont stop today or tomorrow, the wds will come back. YUCK.

As for how steriods work, I have no clue. I just know every time I hurt myself they give them to me. I think it helps with inflammation, which makes sense. Either way I cant do anythiing about the fracture but wear this brace and let it heal.

I'm off to a birthday party... and then more decorating....

[melinda7.5]

Hi money
I just wanted to tell you.You have done very well...
I don't think I could do what your doing!!!!
Those little pills would just sneak up on me...
Proud of you ...
Talk to you later, Melinda