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Here we go again- same game, same pain. HELP me, please!
  1. #1
    DaturaJane is offline Junior Member
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    Question Here we go again- same game, same pain. HELP me, please!

    I was on here a while back, I tried this forum out and it helped more than I had expected it would. Unfortunately I still was not successful in what I was trying to do, I had originally intended to stop taking my medication altogether. I amended the plan on day 3 of my detox and decided to just try and decrease my dose, hoping to somehow force my body to need less. That didn't work either. So now I am back up to my original dosage of taking the maximum amount of oxycodone prescribed to me, and still very unhappy having to let this drug control me. I have decided several times that regardless of whether or not I need the medication for the pain, I don't need all the issues that surround having to be dependent on it. I actually have debilitating pain that prevents me from functioning on an average level. I have been disabled for the last 13 years after fracturing my spine in 3 different places, then herniating multiple discs only 3 years after my original injury. Now I have cysts growing on the nerves of my spinal chord as a result of the damage from the fractures, and narrowing disc space of the vertabraetes surrounding the bulging discs. My point being, my disability is severe enough that even on the pain meds I am in tremendous amounts of pain still, at least I will be free of all the other evils caused by the opiates if I stop taking them.
    So basically I am trying to figure out the best way to detox myself cold turkey, find any tricks that I may not know about, get some advice in general on how to make it through this next week or whenever I decide to jump off. Also I prefer to be unconscious for most of the detox process, I try to use xanax for the first 3-4 days and just stay asleep. I have an opportunity to take the time I need to do this right now and I really want to make the best use of it. Any other ideas? Best way to use the Thomas recipe or other variations?.. thx

  2. #2
    DaturaJane is offline Junior Member
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    I should also address why I started a new thread rather than reviving an older one. In my previous threads I was just learning how to use the forums and in the replies to the threads I posted there were a few that lead the thread away from the specifics of my situation; for that reason they became less helpful to me than I was hoping for. Also,my husband has an account on here and while I was detoxing I logged on with his computer and accidentally posted as him, causing quite a bit of confusion. Due to the confusion from my mistake, one of the most helpful threads I had going so far quickly turned into a page of arguments and confrontation that no one even wanted to read. I felt like this was partially because I was highly agitated being in withdrawal; but also because of posts where people were jumping to conclusions, making accusations and just in general taking things out of context at a bad time.
    So I can only hope this thread works better than the last ones, and that people will take the time to not only read it but reply, either with their opinion or own personal experience. I also hope that I am in the right place for someone as sensitive as I am at this time, people need the most help at their weakest moments and that is certainly the case with me.

  3. #3
    minivin is offline Member
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    Welcome back Dutura,all i can do is imagine the overwhelming pain you are experiencing everyday,everyone here will help you and support you all they can.After dealing with those fentanyl patches and getting off of those i know you can get through this,its just what happens when you are dealing with your pain after getting off of opiates?This is still something i have to think about to,once i kick these damn patches.Maybe yoga,exercise,other meds that arent opiates?Hang in there and hopefully there will be alot more replies,this is a great forum.

  4. #4
    minivin is offline Member
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    I have been giving suboxen alot of thought ,but doesnt seem possible right now due to monies,i am not giving up on it though.Have you tried the subs before?Do you think it may be something you would consider?There are alot of people here that have had alot of success with the help of Robert...

  5. #5
    SuzieOf is offline Member
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    What was your taper plan like? Because if it were me, I would taper very very slowly so my body doesn't even notice. Like literally shave off a sliver of one pill and then if that works shave a sliver off another. Maybe your taper was too fast?

  6. #6
    DaturaJane is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by minivin View Post
    I have been giving suboxen alot of thought ,but doesnt seem possible right now due to monies,i am not giving up on it though.Have you tried the subs before?Do you think it may be something you would consider?There are alot of people here that have had alot of success with the help of Robert...
    Vin, I haven't tried anything like that before, or methadone or anything. I have always went cold turkey, using benzo's when available. I am in a predicament now b/c I am out of my xanax (I don't usually take them but I ran out after trying to detox earlier this month) and going to have to go without the benzo's this time. Makes sleep much harder and the worst part of this is always the anxiety for me. BUT, I have an opportunity that I would be a total JACKASS if I were to pass up. With or without benzo's, I have to do this while I have certain other resources available- like my husband. He is going to be home with me for the next week or so, as long as it takes basically, and the last time we did it this way he was the only reason I even tried. If it weren't for him supporting me in these ways I wouldn't even bother trying, I would know that I am only going to fail anyway so why bother? I can sleep if I want to sleep (well, if I can sleep) and don't have to go anywhere, if I need anything my husband will run and get it for me. HOWEVER, the longer I take to do this, the worse of a position I am putting us in as we all well know I will still be disabled when this is ovre with and he will still need to go back to work so that he can support us.
    Soooo.. I am thinking I am going to try and jump off tomorrow, I am thinking I will get scared and immediately try to fail, especially with out the benzo's to stop me from thinkin and knock me back out. I am going to pray and hope that I wake up in the morning ready to give it hell. Or go through hell. Either way..

  7. #7
    DaturaJane is offline Junior Member
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    Suzie, I haven't tried tapering lately after too many failed attempts that set me back too far. With the amount of pain I am in, it only got gradually worse and was too much for me to bear. Every time I did it I got set back even further until I was taking far more than I wanted to be, just to try and get the pain under control again. This time it is cold turkey from 70-90 mg per day. I know it's going to be rough but it has to be done and it has to be done now.

  8. #8
    RealTalk is offline Junior Member
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    Hope u all the success and I hope u have a good detox. If u find it to hard to detox I would recommend suboxone unless u want to go the drug free route all together. If u take suboxone u will feel more incontrol of ur life and won't feel as dopey like the oxy gets people. Suboxone does give some pain relief and has helped my back but cost a lot of money but is cheaper depending on what area you live in. Don't take my advice if u know u wanna be drug free all together or if u feel cold turkey is the best way to go. And if u decide to go the suboxone route I would taper off as soon as possible to stop another addicton b4 it starts. Do what is best for you and suboxone may not be for u. I was on subs for years and it helped but like other medication the time comes to say I quit. Talk to family and friends and figure out what is best for you,ultimately u are the only one that can make the final decesion. God Bless

  9. #9
    DaturaJane is offline Junior Member
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    Exclamation About to Jump= SCARED. Please Help!!!

    I REALLY hope this doesn't go as it has the last few times, and I also really hope that this forum can be more a tool for me than a disappointment. So anybody out there with any help or any advice- let's hear it Here's a few facts to help out..

    1. I am jumping from 120mg oxy a day (couldn't taper, it only kept setting me back until I got to this point)
    2. I have been taking the meds (this time around) for 7 consecutive months nearly.
    3. I have 6 green Klonopin and a couple of ativan to get me through the first 2-3 days
    4. I have pre-natal vitamins, b-6, valerian root, mellisa supreme, immodium, ibuprofen, phenergan, and an aresenal of otc odds and ends like tylenol and icy hot.

    I only need a few people or so to take the time to give me their thoughts and if anyone has the time to bear with me through this I am sure it would help. I will prob check back often, I know how I get when I do this and I am sure I will be looking for anything to help. Thank you and God bless <3

  10. #10
    NoMoreOxy is offline Senior Member
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    Jane.

    I jumped from a similar habit that lasted 9 months. I started feeling better on Day 3. Stick with it. Treat the symptoms and you will make it. I worked the entire time. Was I comfortable? No. Can it be done? Totally. Will it be over soon? Yes!

    Good luck!
    ClassiqueMom and SuzieOf like this.

  11. #11
    justanothergirl is offline New Member
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    I recently "kicked" my 3 year oxycodone/hydrocode habit. Was prescribed for disc problems in my back and neck. Last Friday I took my last pill after having taken 90 in about 10 days. I was just way out of control and dependant on them. Everybody is right, you just have to take it minute by minute and win the day. The first 24 hours I was fine. The second day, I was ok. The third day sucked. Yesterday I went nuts looking for a pill and couldn't quit thinking about them last night. I laid in bed and my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest, I had the restless leg and arm thing. Took a hot bath and it helped. Also I'm sorry to say took an Ambien, but I slept from about 10 pm straight through to 425 a.m. Today I feel like I have a tiny bit of energy. But every time I think about the pills, I remind me about how they really made me feel and it helps me. You have to arguments going on in your head at all times. Finally the smart voice is winning and it makes me happy. The stupid voice is still trying to tell me I never had a problem.

  12. #12
    ClassiqueMom is offline Senior Member
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    hi justanothergirl!

    sooo glad you know the difference between the
    voice of truth and the voice of deception!

    stay strong! get well! and live life!

  13. #13
    DaturaJane is offline Junior Member
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    Now, back to the point, yes I am officially in withdrawal. I have almost 24 hours in and I am just dying for it to be like 3 days later right now. I want this to be over, I want comfort as I go through this, I want love and concern and support. Aside from my addiction I have many other problems.. some of which are becoming too much... I just want the f$%^ out.

  14. #14
    DaturaJane is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClassiqueMom View Post
    hi justanothergirl!

    sooo glad you know the difference between the
    voice of truth and the voice of deception!

    stay strong! get well! and live life!
    Not sure what happened to my other post, just wanted to say, thanks Classiq. Except, I -DaturaJane- am the one crying out for help here today, so if you have any advice for ME that would just be great! You have a great day now too!


    #findingstrengththroughrage.

  15. #15
    DaturaJane is offline Junior Member
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    thanks. it's cool. I got tis.

  16. #16
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    [QUOTE=DaturaJane;361156]Not sure what happened to my other post, just wanted to say, thanks Classiq. Except, I -DaturaJane- am the one crying out for help here today, so if you have any advice for ME that would just be great! You have a great day now too!


    wow. i cant beleive i just read that. your first two posts make sure we 'are not allowed to get off track' how YOU need help. all good. i keep reading... people here offer their experiences to try and help you thru. and then you have the CHEEK to say ""

    Except, I -DaturaJane- am the one crying out for help here today, so if you have any advice for ME that would just be great! You have a great day now too! ""

    wow. lets just stop right there. yes this is your thread, but you gotta realize if you want help. and advice. and you are on a public forum, and generous people post, you have NO RIGHT to say they cant get a response from someone...

    jeez. i know us drug addicts can be selfish, but thats extreme...

    no wonder your last thread got out of control... check your own attitude.... yeh its all about you....
    ARTIST658 and detroit_boi like this.

  17. #17
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    and if you had bothered to read around, you would realize that classique mom is one of THE MOST SUPPORTIVE people around here and you just walked all over her good nature...

    please dont get mad. im saying this to really make you think about your own attitude right now. sure, yeh you are in withdrawl, still no excuse,...
    ARTIST658 likes this.

  18. #18
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    We have a disease that tells us that we don't have a disease. I don't know of any other disease that does that! Fuel the positive - fuel the voice that is fighting for recovery. And whenever you 'hear' that other voice saying, "it wasn't thaaat bad" - laugh at it - or get mad at it - but don't dwell on it. We can choose our attitude, and that is one of our most powerful weapons in early recovery.

    Recovery is about much more than gritting our teeth through the first few days of detox. That's actually the easier part, as we are totally focused on stopping, and expect the symptoms. The tough part comes when we try to live our lives without turning to a pill for a "quick fix" when difficult feelings arise. Get to NA or AA and stick around... that's where our true recovery lies. If you don't like the meeting you find, go to another until you find one that fits.

    NA: http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/
    AA: http://www.aa.org/lang/en/central_of...m?origpage=373
    (Note: The 12-step program is the same. And it's the same disease, just different drug choice.

    Keep in mind, the answer OUT of addiction is NOT with another addictive drug. Do not make the mistake of turning to benzos (klonopin, xanax, ativan, etc.) or alcohol to overcome the withdrawal symptoms you're experiencing. Our disease doesn't differentiate. The only way this disease is arrested is through total abstinance. Anything short of that is a set-up for relapse.

    God bless,
    Ruth

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  19. #19
    deleted116 is offline Member
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    Datura, you should be on Day 2 right now, right? Not fun at all! In my opinion the only way to get through the first week or so is to just give in to that you are going to feel bad. Keep yourself as comfortable as possible, and at LEAST once a day try to get outside and take a walk. Those walks in the early days, listening to music, were really my lifesaver. Sometimes I would only feel well for the 30 minutes it took to walk, but at least it was something. Sleeping through the WD sounds good initially, but soon you realize that it just kind of depresses you more. It's important to get those natural endorphins pumping again....it's what will lift the low-motivation/depression. But again, just kind of give in to that each hour that you aren't using, you are getting well, even if you aren't feeling better. I used to celebrate each 12 hour mark that I reached, even if I didn't feel improvements. Every night I would lay down and think "maybe tomorrow will be better". Sometimes it wasn't. But one day, it was. Now I'm on Day 72 and it's a whole different way of life than those early days. You just have to trudge through it right now.

    O.K., I hope you take this in the vain that it's intended. The very first time I came onto this thread, I was very defensive, and my thread kind of turned and I backed away from the whole site. I kind of see the same defensiveness in your posts. I know that what you really want it comfort and attention...and believe me, this is the place that you will get it! But you also have to understand that part of having a productive, interactive thread is allowing everyone to be involved. JustAnotherGirl wrote you a great response...and ClassiqueMom just gave her a little shout out. I think you are mistaking that for your thread "wandering". Hardly! That's your thread being a welcoming, supportive place.

    I know that right now you want to hear something, anything that someone can say to you to help you feel better. But I found that a lot of times the things I clung on to the most were the posts and responses I read of other people. Be open to where you thread goes. I understand you started it, but it wouldn't be a very supportive place if we were all only allowed to talk to eachother on our own threads, right?

    That being said, I hope that you keep going on here....it really is a great place, and will be a huge tool to you getting through this. Just keep celebrating those 12 hour marks!
    SuzieOf and Sundwn like this.

  20. #20
    detroit_boi is offline Member
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    im 58 days clean so far...and this forum has helped me quitting TREMENDOUSLY....I swear i couldnt have done it on my own if not for ppl here...Be strong, i kno u can do it....I was on 2gm IV >>>>>> for 14 years, before deciding to suboxone my way out of the mess...I was able to jump clean off 2mg of suboxone/day(not advisable) but I DID IT...first 27 days where horrendous....PAIN OF W/D(FIRST 14 DAYS) LACK OF SLEEP FOR 24 DAYS STARIGHT...RLS FOR 35 DAYS, DEPRESSIOIN, ETC ETC ETC I thought i couldnt pull through, but i did I had to take zoloft to help me deal with my depression, AND IT WORKED....My depression was sooooo bad month after i quit suboxone, that i thought i wouldnt last if it wasnt for zoloft....Im so glad i got on it...I FEEL SIMPLY GREAT AND EXTREMELY HAPPY....If u decide to go suboxone way, make sure it is SUBUTEX, not suboxone...(Subutex(or pure buprenorhine) is a cheaper and purer form of suboxone...And if u decide to take that route i suggest u talk to Robert_325. He has a taper system that is proven to work.As far as rest of us, we'll be here to guide you through and keep u motivated in your fight against the opiate devils...Good luck, and God bless u
    Last edited by detroit_boi; 04-28-2012 at 01:32 AM.

  21. #21
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    DaturaJane,

    We haven't heard from you since Wednesday, when you were just beginning to detox. What's up, hon? This is a really tough thing to get through alone - I hope you'll post and let us know how you're doing...

    God bless,
    Ruth

  22. #22
    ClassiqueMom is offline Senior Member
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    hi jane..
    just want you to know, i'm still praying for you..

    strength.. determination.. and healing.. may all of these be yours!

    hope you'll update soon..

    Classique MoM

  23. #23
    NoMoreOxy is offline Senior Member
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    Stay strong Jane. Please give us an update! I promise, this is a no judgement zone! Please post regardless of the news.

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