Help, roxi-sub withdrawal

[FyouR30]

I am an 18 year old addict who started through a girl I once knew. It started with one percocet 10/325 that would give you one of your best opiate highes since you don't have a tolerance. I loved it and it eventually led on to 2 a day, then it would be swallowing four at a time. I had no idea about withdrawal before I started so I was clueless of the consequences. I was on and off for several times, but recently I was doing 4-5 roxicodone 30s a day. In between my breaks I heard about suboxone and how it can help you stop, but I had no idea that can provide withdrawal as well. I took suboxone off my father who was prescribed it and didnt know the proper way was to wean off, I thought suboxone was the miracle pill. At this point, im 7 days clean of roxicodone and 4 days clean of suboxone. My latest suboxone routine was 8mg for 2 days, then 4 mg for 2 days. Well, I am going through withdrawal and dont know how much longer it should last. I tried the Thomas recipe, but benzo's aren't my thing per say. I tried to take 2 mg of xanax the first night to sleep, but instead it gave me a bad headache. Ever since I didnt touch one of them. The L-Tyrosine, which I take 2 grams of, doesn't seem to give any effect to me and the multivitamin, although healthy, doesn't provide apparent help for the withdrawal. Should I just stick this out? How much longer should I be dealing with upset stomachs and nights of no sleep?

[Catrina]

Wow,

Sure wish you had found us earlier. I, myself have no experience with subs but being a member of this Forum for almost 2 years is sure an education. Futher, I sure wish you hadn't taken those subs. They have a much, much longer half life so the 5 days of dope sick you could have expected with the roxi could be extended and intensified (not positive, but others will share). In either event, find the Thomas Recipe. There are some over the counter stuff to help with the physical stuff. Once you are feeling better, then you need to do the hard work and deal with cravings, etc. Sleep...well I'm the wrong one to ask. Always had bad sleeping habits, even pre-addiction so based on that and the fact that everyone is different there's no way of telling when you'll settle down and chain together some hours to get a good rest. You're young (I can tell) so hopefully you'll bounce back quicker than us old folk. Two years is long enough to have developed the nasty habit but take inspiration from us oldy moldies that didn't smarten up until many, many years later. If we can do it and survive, then you can too. Take it a minute at a time and be proud that you made it. It's doable but only if you want it more than anything else. No other reason or motivation will work, at least not for the long haul. You want off? Get off, suck up the nasty physical stuff, hang in and hunker down for the mental aspect. It's entirely doable but you have to be ready and made of some strong stuff. I did and I never considered myself all that strong. Go figure. When we have to, we can dig pretty deep to find that inner strength.

Stay with us and post often. You'll get advice, tools to help you make it thru the withdrawals and the support from this Forum Family. For alot of us, this Forum and its members were the only tool we found that actually helped. We are able to be honest with others so we become honest with ourselves. That in itself is self-healing. Read, read, read the threads. You will find amazing people who you would never believe were addicts. We are. In all stages of recovery. Use that to your advantage because you'll begin to see that getting clean happens all the time. In spite of the statistics, it happens all the time. Check us out and I sure hope you hang around. Just be honest and if you slip, oh well. (That, by the way is not permission to relapse, just a reality.) Hop back up there and try again. Eventually you'll get it.

Peace,

Cat

[FyouR30]

Catrina,
Thank you for giving me your input and kind words. I slept for five hours last night which isn't too good but what can I do. So now I'm at 8 days clean of Roxi and 5 of Sub.

Physically, I can take the beating. Imodium has REALLY helped me out when Pepto Bismal failed. The malaise is icky but I can stick it out with, although I have a short-temper. It's hard going to college, being the first week I move in, and I decide for this to be my withdrawal period (for good). Homesickness and lack of my craving, and being away from all my friends surely didn't help at all.

The thing that bothers me most is the mental aspect. I realize that I have become addicted to painkillers and that they can EASILY take over someone's life, no matter whom. I may be young, but I may start going to NA meetings. The part that kills me is that other than those pills, I'm pretty straight edge. I hate alcohol, lost interest in marijuana (No idea why), don't mess with coke or any other pills, and hate psychedelics like shrooms and acid; they just aren't a party drug. Well, I have a girlfriend who likes to drink and she tends to be a little obnoxious when she obliges. Most of my friends drink as well, so while they were all drinking my thing was the roxicodone. Everyone would be messed up off alcohol but I would take them and feel like a million bucks. I loved the feeling of emotional numbness, and wish there was other chemicals that I knew of that could also achieve that. The reason I say this is because I'm a really sensitive kid and get affected by the smallest things. Now the thing that REALLY bothers me is the fact that things won't be nearly the same anymore. I don't have that feeling of "I don't care", everywhere I go, and just feel alienated. They calmed me down so much and took away and physical or emotional pain. Looking at the past, I can't believe it's been such a HUGE part of me for this whole year. Everything I wanted to do, go to shows or concerts, etc, I wanted to go with roxi's. Now it's hard to see the future without them because of how I liked them when I was using. I'll mostly be sober all the time while my friends are messed up. I wish I was never put in this situation but it just goes to show how addicting they are.

I remember how 1 Percocet 10/325 could make me feel really good for 4 hours....now it wouldn't do squat. Now my best friend, who uses maybe 3-4 times a week, and has been using just as long as I have, says he feels "GOOOOD" even after snorting one 10/325 or a half of roxi, and he's been USING AS LONG AS ME. Is he making this up? There's no way his tolerance could've stayed the same. And he never experiences withdrawal...I guess 3-6 percocet 10/325's a week wouldn't give you that.

I look forward to hearing what you have to say, and what others have to say. I decided I want to stop because of the gruesome withdrawals and the dependency the drug makes you possess. I'm through with it.

[moon6748]

Hey there, you are doing really well and should give yourself a pat on the back. And 5 hours of sleep is actually pretty good for the early stages! My first couple of days i didn't really sleep at all!

Believe me I can relate totally to what you are saying about wanting those Roxi's with you everywhere you went. Everything I did revolved around making sure that I had enough to get me through the special occasions (and the not so special ones). What you are saying about "so I'm just going to be sober now?" is sort of how I feel when i think "so I won't have any reward at the end of the day?". But we just have to keep reminding ourselves that there was an evil aspect to these pills, and we can't remember them so fondly.

The great thing for you is that you are so young. You have so many stages ahead of you in life, and making this decision to cut ties with the pills is the best thing you can do. Because you can enter into all of these new stages drug free, and it really won't be long until these are a thing of the past for you and something that you just did a long time ago.

I'm not sure about your friend and the tolerance issue. I don't know how anyone could get around it. I know that mine certainly went up. When I first started I would take one 5 mg pill and feel great for hours. Fast forward 3 years and I'm taking 6 30 mg pills a day. I guess maybe if he really does only take a few a week and that's it, it's possible. But most of us don't start taking more just because we want to...we start taking more because those "few" aren't making us feel the way we did before. So I don't know either way....but remember this....most of us in our real lives did lie about how much we were taking. I had a friend who was also taking them, and we talked about it all the time, and I always downplayed to her how much I was taking (and I bet you she was doing the same to me).

Is this your first year of college?

[abritt121222]

Yup i agree wish you could have got here sooner so we could have helped ya but neway are u planning on gettin on suboxone or just going cold turkey because suboxone is not at all used the way you said you did you need to be on suboxone for In my opinion for at least a month to get you thru the stage that you would have been in withdrawal and so you have time to get your mind off of the pain meds and that works for some and some have to stay on it longer but after you are on it for at least a month you ween off suboxone and you ween down to a crumb and when i say crumb i mean like .25 mg because the opiate in suboxon(bupe) is way way way stronger than oxycodone i believe somewhere around 50x stronger BUT the reason it works so well is because it has a ceiling effect and what i mean by that is at 4mg of suboxone the ceiling effect kicks in and it doesnt matter if you take more it will do nothing or make you feel anything it will make the dose last longer but thats it, it will not get you high which is why it is used for addiction but at 4mg of suboxone that cover approx98% of the opiate receptors in your brain which keeps you out of withdrawal and keeps cravings to a minimum but the way you described how you took it really wouldnt do anything because it was not taken long enough to even get you past the oxy withdrawal you would have been in without it so to say it shorter you take subs to get thru the withdrawal of oxy and then ween off of subs and if you ween down the right way the withdrawal from sub will not be bad at all not near as bad as oxy withdrawal but you have to ween off of them the correct way which can take some time and then you also have to be ready to be clean which is why i took subs for a good bit longer than a month because in my opinion taking 4 or 8 mg of sub a day for however long is alot better than taking 400mg of oxy so i took it and weened down to .5 or 1 mg prob 7 times and would get down to that low dose and wouldnt be able to control the cravings so i would go back to my normal sub routine for a month and try again to see if i was ready but i made damn sure that i could control the craving myself before i came completely off of the suboxone n i tell that to anyone that ask me to make sure you are ready and you can control the cravings and can control yourself before you come all the way off because i would much rather just take the box and live a normal life for however long than to quit and then not be able to control the cravings of the mind tricks your mind plays trying to get you to use and fall back into the cycle of addiction and chasing that high and blowing all my money to just go back into withdrawal again either to get back on suboxone all over again or to stay in that same old cycle i had been of for years. This is of course my opinion and im sure ppl will say this is stupid and its better to come of the subs and see if you can do it instead of staying on until YOU FEEL READY because at the end of the day this is all about YOU and what you feel is right for you but please dont keep doing what you were and using oxy and going to subs when u couldnt get oxy and back and fourth its just no way to live bro but feel free to ask any questions and if ya dont mind could ya let me know what you decide to do if you are gonna go cold turkey or the suboxone route. I have done it both ways and will help ya with anything i possibly can so feel free to ask me anything

GOOD LUCK AND GODSPEED
ABritt

[treasures4u1]

Hi Everyone,
I was prescribed 6-10mg Percocet's a day. Well, I did regular pee test at my doctors and never had any problems. Sometimes I didn't take the whole 6 a day. All of a sudden, I get a registered letter from my Dr office stating that they can no longer see me as a patient. NO EXPLANATION! That was all it said. I have been going to this Dr for 4 years.

I called them and called them and called them. I would be put on hold and disconnected. Finally, I had to go there and demand to know why I was being dropped as a patient. They finally stated to me that my pee test showed that I was not taking my prescribed amount and I said so? They said that by law they have to drop me because it could mean that I am selling them.

I was absolutely Flabbergasted, Shocked and destroyed! I am a 53 yr old woman with health problems and kids and grandkids. I know nothing about the laws or street buying or selling etc. So, I asked them what am I suppose to do for my BP meds and cholesterol and pain meds. They told me that they would give me one month supply of everything and that is it. So, I asked her "well does that mean I am going to go through narcotic WD"? She said yes. So, I asked her if they were going to prescribe me the meds I need for that and they said NO, that I had to either go to another DR (which I learned from talking to people that I am blacklisted in my file now) or go to rehab.

So, I started asking around and a friend of mine is a RN and she told me that by law they have to give me meds for WD's. Is this true?

I am already in WD and I have been using the Thomas Recipe and it has worked but my legs and arms are absolutely killing me! My RN friend said that the DR should have prescribed me something such as Xanax and other things. But, I don't know what to ask them for.

I found out from another patient that went there that I guess the Dr office was busted by the DEA. OK fine, so now I have to suffer because they did wrong? Don't they HAVE to give me the meds? I never signed a Pain contract, I was never told I would be dropped if I didn't take my 6 a day. I am from the old school where the Dr would give you a "slap on the hand" for not taking it the way your suppose to.

I want to call the Dr office tomorrow and demand the meds but don't know what to ask for. Can anyone help me with this?

Thank you so much!

[abritt121222]

To Treasures

Hello and welcome to the threads but and please dont take this the wrong way because i am in now way trying to be mean but if you have a question like this one could you please start a new post because the person that started this post is trying to get clean from meds and having a hard time because its not fun at all getting clean and he doesnt even need to read anything about getting meds or ppl getting mad about not getting their meds because just reading something like that can trigger a relapse and get their mind back on pills where it doesnt need to be while detoxing. But dont take this the wrong way at all im not trying to be an as3hole by any means just trying to help ppl get thru this hard part of their lives and back on track and you will prob get the answer you are looking for with a new thread new
well good luck and i hope u can get help
oh and they cannot tell how much meds you have been taking from a pee test or a blood test or any test for that matter they can only tell what kind of meds you have been taking but have absolutly no way to know how much you have taken

ABritt

[Denny_D]

I am an 18 year old addict who started through a girl I once knew. It started with one percocet 10/325 that would give you one of your best opiate highes since you don't have a tolerance. I loved it and it eventually led on to 2 a day, then it would be swallowing four at a time. I had no idea about withdrawal before I started so I was clueless of the consequences. I was on and off for several times, but recently I was doing 4-5 roxicodone 30s a day. In between my breaks I heard about suboxone and how it can help you stop, but I had no idea that can provide withdrawal as well. I took suboxone off my father who was prescribed it and didnt know the proper way was to wean off, I thought suboxone was the miracle pill. At this point, im 7 days clean of roxicodone and 4 days clean of suboxone. My latest suboxone routine was 8mg for 2 days, then 4 mg for 2 days. Well, I am going through withdrawal and dont know how much longer it should last. I tried the Thomas recipe, but benzo's aren't my thing per say. I tried to take 2 mg of xanax the first night to sleep, but instead it gave me a bad headache. Ever since I didnt touch one of them. The L-Tyrosine, which I take 2 grams of, doesn't seem to give any effect to me and the multivitamin, although healthy, doesn't provide apparent help for the withdrawal. Should I just stick this out? How much longer should I be dealing with upset stomachs and nights of no sleep?

You absolutely should just stick this out. You don't realize how lucky you really are to be at the point of 7 days off Roxi's and 4 days clean from Suboxone. You are in a great position to be clean. Now 9 off Roxi and 6 from Subs if you have continued.

About now, you should be starting to feel the symptoms of withdrawls be greatly diminished or over completely. If you use even 1 more Roxi or 1mg of Sub you are in for added time to get clean. Why start over? Be done with it. God Bless....Denny

[FyouR30]

Moon,

Thank you for your kind words. It's good to know that there is someone else out there who had the same problems I'm facing. Day in and day out I get tempted, and intense cravings but I tell myself no, you can't do this to yourself, or you'll just be starting all over with more pain.

Yeah I'm pretty young, but got hooked at an early age. I had a prescription at 15 for a surgery and then a girl quite older than me at the time whom I was talking to told me to take half a roxicodone 30; being my first time, I was pretty damn high and feeling good. The thing that scares me is the fact of being drug-free in the future stages of my life when it was a huge part and daily habit of my past. I want to quit, I just can't see some parts of life without it. Maybe that's because it's been stuck with me for over a year.

And about my best friend, he won't really lie to me cause I'm with him most of the time he does perc's. Now I know this is a bad idea, but even when I'm around him when he does that I still refrain, and he supports my cleanness. He bought 1 Perc 10/325 yesterday, snorted half, and I'm saying to myself "You have to be kidding me...there's no way you feel that".

But yes sir this is my first year in college. Quite the adjustment living away from your friends and loved ones.


Abritt,

Thank you also for posting on here. I really appreciate it and do wish I would have found the site sooner, but no, I don't plan to go back on suboxone. It wasn't a prescription for me as it is, it was my dad's. It is really hard to get my mind off them. I have been thinking about roxi's a lot each day, but then I just come read this thread to see if anyone answered.

And my routine for suboxone use was when after times of use, when I would start to have malaise, insomnia, and stomach pains/diarrhea. I didn't know it was supposed to be weaned off, just thought it was a miracle drug that heals withdrawal. But I was feeling the withdrawal from roxicodone, and I took suboxone for four days. Now I don't know if I'm in the roxicodone withdrawal or the suboxone withdrawal right now or both.

So far I have controlled my cravings, being around some yesterday, but it was still on my mind. And yeah your certainly right about the mind tricks, it is a huge cycle that my brain just wants to get into again and I don't know why, it's really unbelievable, but I'm hanging in there.

And as far as my decision, I'm going cold turkey although I have been following the Thomas Recipe (minus the benzo's) and am currently at 9 days clean of roxicodone and 6 days clean of suboxone.

Denny,

That is what I believe is the best. It was rough week and a half, but I am still sticking it out at 9 days off roxi and 6 days off sub.

And you are right, I'm starting to actually sleep now instead of staying up from the w/d, and I'm not sweating at all anymore out of nowhere. Although my mind wants me too, my heart tells me not to pick up another pill. I'm sick of these withdrawals and the physical and emotional pain. And that is my plan to be done. Thank you for the kind words.

A little side note,

Yesterday, I was a party with my girlfriend who was real drunk, and I was also pretty drunk. She has cuts all over her, bruises, lost her phone, kept yelling at me, and my friends forced her into my one friend's car to drive her home. She still gets in trouble for drinking with her parents, so she starts bawling her eyes out at home when I'm not with her. Her sister called me up and told me to come talk to her. At this point I was really stressed and was like "damn, a roxi would get rid of ALL this stress right now". I actually asked my friend if he knew anyone who had one at 2:00 AM, but I refrained myself again. I'm just going to set a goal to reach each day, example 10 days off sub, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 25 days, 4 weeks. Just something that I can look forward to each day. Hope to hear from you guys/women.

[moon6748]

Hi there! 15 years old is really young, I admit. I'd like to go back in time and kick that older girl in the butt! First year of college!! How exciting! I know it's scary, but believe me, by the time you finish the first semester and come back after Christmas break, it will feel like your 2nd home. I can still remember how my dorm smelled, and all the memories of those first days. While I loved where I went right from the beginning, I can remember wondering if it would ever feel like home (I was only 17 when I went to college). And so quickly it really did become home. I would miss college when I went home for break, and then miss my real home when I went back to college! It really is such a special time, and it goes QUICK!, so enjoy every second of it. O.k., enough of me reliving my glory days in college and the lecture.

The thing that scares me is the fact of being drug-free in the future stages of my life when it was a huge part and daily habit of my past. I want to quit, I just can't see some parts of life without it. Maybe that's because it's been stuck with me for over a year.

I want you to see the flip side of this. You actually have a really great gift in that you can enter into the new stages of your life without the pills. If you stick with this right now, pretty much your entire college life will be without them. I know it's going to be extra hard on you, because I'm assuming they are everywhere in college now. When I went (here I go again!), pills just weren't around at all. They just hadn't really hit the party scene yet. It was all pot, coke and mushrooms that were big then. So you are going to have to be really strong knowing that they are all around you. But I really think it sounds like you can do it.

A thought to keep in your mind is....while it may look like your friends are having fun...and you WILL have the thoughts of "why do they get to do it and have fun, and I don't??". (I can remember always thinking that right after I quit smoking and would walk by people who were smoking". But here's what I want you to remember.....they can do it...and you CAN do it if you wanted to, but your eyes have been opened and theirs have not. If they continue doing this pills all through 4 years of college, they are going to leave with a degree and a really nasty, long term habit to get rid of. You won't have all of that baggage. That's what I realized finally with the smoking. That they didn't have some free pass in their pocket to smoke, and that I was more than welcome to smoke too. But they were choosing to acccept all of the dangers of smoking, and I just didn't want those anymore.

I have sort of the opposite problem as you. I worked full time since I got out of college, and then 3 1/2 years ago when I had a baby I quit my job and become a stay at home mother (a HUGE transition). That also happened to be the start of my addiction. I had done pills here and there recreationally, but never took them when I wasn't drinking. I actually had a prescription in my drawer of the 5/325's and it probably took me 8 months to go through 30 of them. But that script that they gave me when I left the hospital, in hindsight, was the one that did me in. Same old story, started off slow, kept increasing, more pills, more money, etc. etc. But now here I am, and I've actually never been a stay at home mother....or really even a mother at all, without these. There was/is a huge fear that I just won't know how to do it. I so wish I could go back and enter into this stage without those pills. I want to be a normal mother, who when their son is being cranky doesn't instantly think of pills.

You are SO young....and I can understand you feeling like they have been with you for so long and how will you get through life without them. But you have so much ahead of you. College, jobs, family life, etc., etc. etc. Give life a chance without them and you'll see that they are going to be so far in your past. Don't do what many of us here have done, and keep carrying them with us into the next stages.

Your friend must just be doing them so infrequently that he still can do low doses? But believe me, even if it's taking him a longer time, the tolerance catches up with everyone! If he can stick to just a few a week, maybe he'll be o.k.. On a side note, please tell him to stop snorting the one's with the tylenol in them. Not advocating snorting any of them, but if he's going to, make sure they are tylenol free. It's extra dangerous to snort those because the tylenol doesn't break down.

Wow, this turned into a long post! I just feel strongly about your story...I guess because you are young and at such an exciting time. I loved college, and I want you to have a great experience and not have to deal with these pills. You are doing an amazing job, 9 days and 6 days clean!

So I was watching the last episode of Celebrity Rehab last night (the one with Dr. Drew). They were all already 3 weeks clean and it was graduation day. One of the counselors said to one of the people (not sure who it was)...."just give us 30 days, please....after 30 days you'll start to see the light....please just give 30 days". And it really clicked with me. Like, YES, no matter how much I'm craving or how bad I feel, I just want to see what 30 days feels like, and go from there". It really is a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things, right? I think we can do it.

O.K., now I'm done, I promise!

[Robert_325]

To Treasures

Hello and welcome to the threads but and please dont take this the wrong way because i am in now way trying to be mean but if you have a question like this one could you please start a new post because the person that started this post is trying to get clean from meds and having a hard time because its not fun at all getting clean and he doesnt even need to read anything about getting meds or ppl getting mad about not getting their meds because just reading something like that can trigger a relapse and get their mind back on pills where it doesnt need to be while detoxing. But dont take this the wrong way at all im not trying to be an as3hole by any means just trying to help ppl get thru this hard part of their lives and back on track and you will prob get the answer you are looking for with a new thread new
well good luck and i hope u can get help
oh and they cannot tell how much meds you have been taking from a pee test or a blood test or any test for that matter they can only tell what kind of meds you have been taking but have absolutly no way to know how much you have taken
ABritt

All they have to do is a toxicity test and they'll know exactly how much of what drug you've taken. That is how pain drs test patients and know the patients aren't taking their pills but are selling them, or if you are taking more than prescribed and scoring from the street. They do a toxicity test to a patient checking into a rehab, How else would they know what you are taking? They surely wouldn't take the addict's word on it. It's a very simple test done every day. God bless.

[what456]

Wow,

Sure wish you had found us earlier. I, myself have no experience with subs but being a member of this Forum for almost 2 years is sure an education. Futher, I sure wish you hadn't taken those subs. They have a much, much longer half life so the 5 days of dope sick you could have expected with the roxi could be extended and intensified (not positive, but others will share). In either event, find the Thomas Recipe. There are some over the counter stuff to help with the physical stuff. Once you are feeling better, then you need to do the hard work and deal with cravings, etc. Sleep...well I'm the wrong one to ask. Always had bad sleeping habits, even pre-addiction so based on that and the fact that everyone is different there's no way of telling when you'll settle down and chain together some hours to get a good rest. You're young (I can tell) so hopefully you'll bounce back quicker than us old folk. Two years is long enough to have developed the nasty habit but take inspiration from us oldy moldies that didn't smarten up until many, many years later. If we can do it and survive, then you can too. Take it a minute at a time and be proud that you made it. It's doable but only if you want it more than anything else. No other reason or motivation will work, at least not for the long haul. You want off? Get off, suck up the nasty physical stuff, hang in and hunker down for the mental aspect. It's entirely doable but you have to be ready and made of some strong stuff. I did and I never considered myself all that strong. Go figure. When we have to, we can dig pretty deep to find that inner strength.

Stay with us and post often. You'll get advice, tools to help you make it thru the withdrawals and the support from this Forum Family. For alot of us, this Forum and its members were the only tool we found that actually helped. We are able to be honest with others so we become honest with ourselves. That in itself is self-healing. Read, read, read the threads. You will find amazing people who you would never believe were addicts. We are. In all stages of recovery. Use that to your advantage because you'll begin to see that getting clean happens all the time. In spite of the statistics, it happens all the time. Check us out and I sure hope you hang around. Just be honest and if you slip, oh well. (That, by the way is not permission to relapse, just a reality.) Hop back up there and try again. Eventually you'll get it.

Peace,

Cat

Cat, I read this post and I thought this person is amazing. i loved this post. I need someone with your positive attitude in my life to get through this. I am working towards getting off the suboxone. I am doing ok but I have no one in the real world who even knows I am going through this, let alone that I could talk to about it. Why does addiction/dependence come with such embarrassment and a stigma.... I truly believe it was never a choice for me. I had taken many different meds, opiotes, etc and didn't become addicted. However, vicodin and now sub are my dependence/addiction. And I want off this ride. But I just wish I had someone in the real world who would understand. I just know it will never happen. So, reading and talking to people here are the only thing I have to hang onto for support. And I am so thankful for the wonderful folks I have talked with.
So, just thanks Cat for the support you offer to the boards here. I believe there are angels here and you seem to be one of them. Hugs and prayers, Tracey

[FyouR30]

Cat, I read this post and I thought this person is amazing. i loved this post. I need someone with your positive attitude in my life to get through this. I am working towards getting off the suboxone. I am doing ok but I have no one in the real world who even knows I am going through this, let alone that I could talk to about it. Why does addiction/dependence come with such embarrassment and a stigma.... I truly believe it was never a choice for me. I had taken many different meds, opiotes, etc and didn't become addicted. However, vicodin and now sub are my dependence/addiction. And I want off this ride. But I just wish I had someone in the real world who would understand. I just know it will never happen. So, reading and talking to people here are the only thing I have to hang onto for support. And I am so thankful for the wonderful folks I have talked with.
So, just thanks Cat for the support you offer to the boards here. I believe there are angels here and you seem to be one of them. Hugs and prayers, Tracey

Hey Tracey,

I had a pretty bad addiction with roxicodone which is a lot more potent than the vics (I'm not talking trash, just trying to make a point). Almost 120-150 mg a day, it was getting out of hand. I am young and had to go through it. Right now I'm 10 days and 7 days clean off of roxicodone and suboxone respectively. I'm just a kid and had the same problem. I know the pain you'll feel, and it's hard, but it's worth it. I'm already feeling a lot better after a week off sub. My advice would be to follow the Thomas Recipe on this website, as it did help me out, and make a thread on this forum. Like you said, there are amazing people here. Just recently instead of thinking about taking a roxi, I think "I'm going to check if anyone posted here to help me out". Turns out, I was right. There is help here and when you need to reassure yourself your doing the right thing, this is the place.

Moon,

Haha I don't mind your story, it's good to relive the past. I wish I could go back in time a lot, and find myself reminiscing a lot. I hope it feels like my second home soon. It's alright so far, just miss everyone and my daily routine. I'll try to enjoy it, it's hard with the homework :P

I'm trying to see the other side of this. I just don't remember what life was like without them. I took them for energy sometimes and then I became dependent on them to refrain from withdrawal. And to be honest, I don't know anyone at my college who sells/has pills. I get them from a big time drug dealer who lives in my area (supposedly he brings in 1000's a day). I was going to try coke to temporarily make the withdrawal a little more bearable, but then it would of just kept me up. Weed I lost interest in and makes me think too much (usually end up crying), and I'll never do shrooms again after eating an 8th and being "stuck in time".

Thank you for that bit of advice too. I am thinking about quitting smoking too, but it's one at a time. And I don't know how I'd handle that under a lot of stress and seeing other people (90% of my friends) smoke. But so far so good. I never knew something so little could be so nasty.

And I'm sorry to hear that :[ Everyone has time to change though. Make the best of being a mother now; make up for it. At least you have a reason to quit, I don't but decided too. I'm sick of the withdrawals they suck so bad.

And I will give life a chance without them. I don't know how it will go (I know my gf is pretty disappointed in bed right now....-_-) and I don't want to make it to another stage while using them still.

About my friend, I told him about the dangers of snorting tylenol but he doesn't care. Whatever, I'm sure he doesn't feel anything anyways and probably just lies. Also, thank you for telling me I'm doing a good job. Positive feedback is what is feeding me to continue to break this habit. I want to make it to 30 days and see what it's like. That's my new goal. And I'll reach it.

[FyouR30]

I just want to know one thing.....
I felt like I was getting better but last night, after being 10 days clean off roxi and 7 off sub, I had massive trouble sleeping and woke up what felt like to be in a puddle. How much longer is this stuff gonna last?

I just want to sleep normal. It's hard when your at college.

[Denny_D]

I just want to know one thing.....
I felt like I was getting better but last night, after being 10 days clean off roxi and 7 off sub, I had massive trouble sleeping and woke up what felt like to be in a puddle. How much longer is this stuff gonna last?

I just want to sleep normal. It's hard when your at college.

Your sleep patterns are terribly disrupted during the time you took opiates. And they are the last thing to be returned to you in a normal fashion. It may could take days, weeks, or even months. Everyone is different. Hopefully it's sooner than later in your case.

Try some Sleepy Time Tea (natural) or Melatonin (also natural) to help with your sleep. I still take the Melatonin.

What you are probably feeling is your brain trying one last time to get you to feed it some opiates. It knows that you are serious about being clean and it's giving it one last shot. Don't use. You got this beat! God Bless.....Denny

[Catrina]

You have received so much good advice already and it's pretty obvious that you are listening. Good for you! In my opinion (for whatever that's worth!) because you started to use at such a young age it has got to frighten the pants off you to imagine real life. I don't blame you. There's a fact about addiction that most, if not all of us older (longer term) members on the forum already know. It's that at the point our addiction kicks in, our maturity/growth stops. That makes sense if you think about it because you have just spent the past 2 years in a fog, unable to grow emotionally. It takes a clear head and the ability to experience the good, the bad and the ugly to grow. So, if this theory is correct (I happen to believe it is) then you have the maturity of a 15 yr old dealing with college and the demands of being a freshman away at college. All is not lost! Once your head clears you'll catch up in no time.

One last thing: Those nasty cravings and the worry about the rest of your life without pills will wane. I promise you that. I used, and used big time for 20+ years and I'm almost 20 months clean now (Thank you Forum Friends!). Do I still think of using? Yup. The difference is that it passes very quickly. I'm not obsessed with it. I can imagine life without pills because I do it everyday. One day at a time. Think about that motto, I mean really think about it. I swear it was the only tool that really worked for me, and I still use it today. I KNOW that I can get thru today without picking up. I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Good thing tomorrow never comes! LOL

Keep up the good work. You will turn the corner and wonder, "what the he ll what I thinking?"

Peace,

Cat

[Catrina]

Oh, by the way...I meant to mention it in my previous post. Did I read in one of your earlier posts that your girlfriend drinks, ummmm to the point of being an issue? If this is true, tread carefully, my friend. Staying clean is hard enough without being around any of that stuff.

Peace,

Cat

[FyouR30]

Denny,

Thanks for all the advice you have given me. I appreciate everything. What you have said has helped me out. Hopefully my sleep pattern doesn't take that long to come back.

Catrina,

I also want to thank you for sticking by my side and giving me advice. I don't think I would of made it without all of you. If that theory is right, then boy am I behind. Maybe that's why I'm having a hard time adjusting to the college life .

I sure hope your right about the cravings. I mean they have drastically went down, but I still can't see the future without them (I won't do roxi's again, just don't see how life will be good without them). However, I'll follow what you say and take it one day at a time and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.


So I'm currently 11 days off roxi's and 8 off suboxone. Starting to feel a lot better. For all of you reading this and in the same position as me, you can do it! I'm a young kid and I did it. I want to stick to this forum and help other people out, as I feel I owe others a favor for the help I received. Last night, I slept for 7 hours, which is the longest I have in these 8 days off sub. I feel like my mind has been stressed while trying to go to sleep, so maybe that played a factor. Last night, I just let everything go. Didn't wake up in sweat either

Went for a 10 minute inclined walk and worked out at the gym. Feel better and gonna go eat some food with my new non-opiatetite.

[Denny_D]

I sure hope your right about the cravings. I mean they have drastically went down, but I still can't see the future without them (I won't do roxi's again, just don't see how life will be good without them). However, I'll follow what you say and take it

How can you NOT see the future without them? You know where the future leads while you are doing them. The cravings will disappear. It just takes time. Just don't put yourself in a position to use. You'll be alright. You want to be clean. That's the toughest part. God Bless....Denny

[FyouR30]

How can you NOT see the future without them? You know where the future leads while you are doing them. The cravings will disappear. It just takes time. Just don't put yourself in a position to use. You'll be alright. You want to be clean. That's the toughest part. God Bless....Denny

Because they were a huge part of my past. Everything I did with my girlfriend I was junked up off a roxi. And now since I'm sober around her, it feels a little different. I still like her and all but my mentality is different.

[Robert_325]

Because they were a huge part of my past. Everything I did with my girlfriend I was junked up off a roxi. And now since I'm sober around her, it feels a little different. I still like her and all but my mentality is different.

Drug-induced relationships seldom stand the test of time. They are not true relationships of one's heart but the drugs. Unless you work on it together your relationship will either end or you'll relapse back to the world of drugs from whence you came. Take it from someone who had lots of drug relationships over several decades, you don't even remember their names after a few years. Focus on your recovery and worry about the realtionship surviving next. People come and go, you only have one life. God bless..

[Catrina]

Pls don't focus or obsess about life without pills. It will do you no good. This is something that you just have to tough out until it gets better and it will. Of course, you're having trouble imagining there being any fun out there without being high as a kite because that's how you know how to have fun. Just remember, though that as we grow and opiates are no longer a part of our lives, we learn alot including other ways to have fun. REALLY! For example, I have never been a drinker (hate the taste). When I am around others who are drunk, it makes me so glad that I don't drink. Frankly, I think that they either get mean or make azz's out of themselves. It's always an interesting experience to be the only sober one in the crowd and observe those that are drinking. In your case, you were one of them. Now you won't be. After awhile, there just might be some motivation there. Not at first because you'll feel like you're odd man out. That, my friend is reason enough to stay away from that scene for a bit until you get your head screwed back on straight. Even drinking at this point if dangerous. We do stupid things when we're drinking and have poor judgment. If there's something around for you to take, you just might do it and I know you don't want to go there!

I mentioned your gf in an earlier post. If she's into drinking and the party scene I smell trouble for you with that relationship if you are serious about staying clean. If it were me in your position it wouldn't be long before I would begin to resent her for "having fun" when you are thinking you can't. That, of course, is a horrible attitude but I just want to point out that your relationship with her could get bumpy and you will have to decide for yourself what to do about it.

Good work!

Peace,

Cat

[what456]

Hey Tracey,

I had a pretty bad addiction with roxicodone which is a lot more potent than the vics (I'm not talking trash, just trying to make a point). Almost 120-150 mg a day, it was getting out of hand. I am young and had to go through it. Right now I'm 10 days and 7 days clean off of roxicodone and suboxone respectively. I'm just a kid and had the same problem. I know the pain you'll feel, and it's hard, but it's worth it. I'm already feeling a lot better after a week off sub. My advice would be to follow the Thomas Recipe on this website, as it did help me out, and make a thread on this forum. Like you said, there are amazing people here. Just recently instead of thinking about taking a roxi, I think "I'm going to check if anyone posted here to help me out". Turns out, I was right. There is help here and when you need to reassure yourself your doing the right thing, this is the place.

Moon,

Haha I don't mind your story, it's good to relive the past. I wish I could go back in time a lot, and find myself reminiscing a lot. I hope it feels like my second home soon. It's alright so far, just miss everyone and my daily routine. I'll try to enjoy it, it's hard with the homework :P

I'm trying to see the other side of this. I just don't remember what life was like without them. I took them for energy sometimes and then I became dependent on them to refrain from withdrawal. And to be honest, I don't know anyone at my college who sells/has pills. I get them from a big time drug dealer who lives in my area (supposedly he brings in 1000's a day). I was going to try coke to temporarily make the withdrawal a little more bearable, but then it would of just kept me up. Weed I lost interest in and makes me think too much (usually end up crying), and I'll never do shrooms again after eating an 8th and being "stuck in time".

Thank you for that bit of advice too. I am thinking about quitting smoking too, but it's one at a time. And I don't know how I'd handle that under a lot of stress and seeing other people (90% of my friends) smoke. But so far so good. I never knew something so little could be so nasty.

And I'm sorry to hear that :[ Everyone has time to change though. Make the best of being a mother now; make up for it. At least you have a reason to quit, I don't but decided too. I'm sick of the withdrawals they suck so bad.

And I will give life a chance without them. I don't know how it will go (I know my gf is pretty disappointed in bed right now....-_-) and I don't want to make it to another stage while using them still.

About my friend, I told him about the dangers of snorting tylenol but he doesn't care. Whatever, I'm sure he doesn't feel anything anyways and probably just lies. Also, thank you for telling me I'm doing a good job. Positive feedback is what is feeding me to continue to break this habit. I want to make it to 30 days and see what it's like. That's my new goal. And I'll reach it.

I am amazed at the insight from some who are so young on this board. I mean I am in 40's and feel as though I did stop growing when I started doing pills in 1996. I have missed so much of my kids lives being in this drugged fog head of mine. And it is extremely scary seeing life without pills or the larger amt of subs I was taking. I am very anxious. I worry I won't be strong enough, or good enough and whats the point. However, I have two teenagers who I have let down so often in their lives, that I know I have ONE shot. ONE shot and it's NOW to get this right. I have lost everything I once had. A husband who loved me and would do anything for me to fix a problem I had, my home, friends. I am completely alone now. And all I have left is my life and my kids. They deserve better. I want to be better for them. It's hard doing everything alone. But I want to be home. I want my kids to be proud of me. So, I have no choice its either succeed this time or die. And I don't want to die. I want to see my kids grow into amazing adults and be a grandma. So, I can't fail this time.

[what456]

I'm sorry for the post again. I guess I am just having a hard day and feeling pretty lonely and depressed. I think I am just looking for something to fill the void. It's so weird, all the feeling I have. I mean when I was taking vicodin or the subs, I had no idea how numb I was. Everything is making me cry and I miss my kids so much. I don't know how I fell into this black hole but I want more than anything to crawl out of it. I remember once when I had ran out of my subs, I went looking through my entire house for one I may have dropped or left somewhere, and I found a bottle that had some vicodin from an old dental procedure I had.And instead of taking them, I took them to my sub dr and gave them to him. I knew taking them was going to be the biggest mistake I could make. So why can't I do that with the suboxone. Just dump them and quit. How is it I could resist taking the vicodin even though I was feeling horrendous but I can't do that with these.
I just hate this. I hate that this has any kind of hold on me. This has taken my entire life and I want it back. I'm sick of crying, feeling bad, needing subs, just tired of it. I want to be healthy, and clear headed again. Why is this so hard. i don't understand.

[Robert_325]

I'm sorry for the post again. I guess I am just having a hard day and feeling pretty lonely and depressed. I think I am just looking for something to fill the void. It's so weird, all the feeling I have. I mean when I was taking vicodin or the subs, I had no idea how numb I was. Everything is making me cry and I miss my kids so much. I don't know how I fell into this black hole but I want more than anything to crawl out of it. I remember once when I had ran out of my subs, I went looking through my entire house for one I may have dropped or left somewhere, and I found a bottle that had some vicodin from an old dental procedure I had.And instead of taking them, I took them to my sub dr and gave them to him. I knew taking them was going to be the biggest mistake I could make. So why can't I do that with the suboxone. Just dump them and quit. How is it I could resist taking the vicodin even though I was feeling horrendous but I can't do that with these.
I just hate this. I hate that this has any kind of hold on me. This has taken my entire life and I want it back. I'm sick of crying, feeling bad, needing subs, just tired of it. I want to be healthy, and clear headed again. Why is this so hard. i don't understand.

If you are stable and reduce 25% of your dose every four days or so it isn't that bad. You just have to make up your mind to do it and stick with it. No one said it's easy but it is simple if you follow the plan. God bless.

[what456]

If you are stable and reduce 25% of your dose every four days or so it isn't that bad. You just have to make up your mind to do it and stick with it. No one said it's easy but it is simple if you follow the plan. God bless.

I am Robert. I am going to reduce tomorrow to 2mg. I will do the .25 increments after that. I think I can go to 2mg and still be ok. Like i said, my biggest issue at this point is completely emotional. Physically I am doing ok. Scared, but ok. Please just help me get through this and I promise I will stick it out.
Thank you so much for all the support I am receiving. I couldn't do this without your help and assistance Robert.

[FyouR30]

Hate to say it, but I'll be honest. I relapsed. Going through withdrawal again and I'm 3 days off pills, 2 days off codeine. My mental game is unreal as far as trying to convince myself never to use again. I don't know what to do. I'm 18, in college with a girlfriend, and it feels like nothing will ever be the same.

Do things eventually get better? Like fun wise? I would enjoy even the stupidest TV stations when I was junked up but now I don't even want to play video games and find myself just sitting here staring at the wall for what seems like hours. It's like I want to be around people, but when I'm around say my girlfriend, I don't feel like cuddling in bed. Not only because of my hot flashes/chills and RLS, but because I just don't feel like it. And does my time to go off ever go up after withdrawal? Seems like I last two minutes now...

Will this ever get better? I want to enjoy things that I used to. But I don't see how it's possible considering I feel like ???? and I feel as if nothing will ever be the same.

[FyouR30]

And the reason I relapsed was random. I was driving to go to dinner with my girlfriend's family, and just wasn't in the mood and not feeling well. I was on my 14th day. And then I just collapsed. I hate myself for not sticking it out.

[gettingbetter4me]

Hey man, your story sounds just about exactly like mine, except for im 23, and kept it to percocets before graduating college and had everything under control i thought. When i moved back home, i realized my dad had an ungodly amount of roxy's and OC's prescribed to him and started having fun with them in my down time till i got a job. Well, 9 months later(graduated last december), I couldnt start my day without blowing a roxy. Right now i am 9 days clean and I gauruntee you, while it sucks at first, things get much better! You can read some of my other threads to see how I did going through it("24 hours", and "Made it a Week")...Just dont look too far ahead. It gets very discouraging to think youll feel like ???? for 4-5 days, just try to get through 2 hours at a time, then when thats over, start again.

I was miserable at first, but after a week, the light started to shine, and now 9 days in I am almost back to my old self. I'm not sure how others on this site would respond to this, but I found a low dose of kratom once a day for the first 2 or 3 days to work wonders for me. Do some research on it for yourself. It is a legal substance you can order on the internet and has a lot of opiate like properties without the addictiveness.

Also, dont get down about a relapse, I had 2 before I got to this point, just dont let them snowball.

You came to the right place, and your lucky you have while still so young. I for one believe that the younger you are, the quicker your body will rebuild and heal itself, along with the fact that you dont really need it for pain, should also help. Think about the idea of a 60 yr old with multiple surgeries whose been on it for 15 years trying to get off(and there have been multiple on this site to do it). Just gotta check things out in perspective. I know it sucks, BUT IT IS SOOOOO WORTH IT!

You got this man!

[FyouR30]

Glad to say I have it made it 10 days off Roxi, 9 days off Codeine. I have been sleeping mostly every night which I am extremely happy about. I also believe I'm done for good this time, cause I was extremely tempted the other day after getting in a fight but I stopped myself.

But now, I feel free from the physical withdrawals. I just don't know if I'm experiencing Acute Withdrawal Symptoms or not. The past 4 days I've been getting angry, depressed, and violent for things I don't think I'd be that way for. I'm not sure if I am going through this, but things don't feel right or 100% still. Don't know.

Any feedback would be love.