HELP…..My wife of 5yrs and mother of my 4yr old son is a drug addict!

[NeedHelp215]

When we were dating as far as I knew she never did any drugs. I did know that when she was much younger she had a problem. Well the pass 5yrs has been a living nightmare! Soon after our first year of marriage I severed her divorce papers because I was tired of the out till all hours parting or not even coming home to me or our son who was still a baby. There were some days that I would not see her for a day or two since we missed each other with work (I have two jobs). SO the paper was a very much surprise to her and before I even when to a lawyer I met with a philologist who specialty was with addictions. I thought it was something I was doing wrong or my fault. I kept track on a calendar for about three month of the time she came home and if she came home at all. Well she was floored and very sad and crying when I gave the papers to her and we went to meet with the philologist to get couples therapy. Which did not really help much since she was not tell him the entire truth just what she thought was important not the entire story. Till the day I took her into his office high I was finally able to show proof that I was not crazy.
Well to make a long story somewhat short she has been in two drug rehab programs and went to meeting and I even went to one for spouse/family members living with an addict. I went with her to an open meeting which was nice to put faces with the people she hangs out with. This did not last too long and I think I even talked to her sponsor more than she did to get advice. Since all of the above she has OD in drugs not sure what exactly but from what I remember the doctors telling me it was cocaine and wet (wet is a liquid and you use cigarettes to smoke with). Since the OD she seem to be doing a lot better and went back to the rehab program she was last at and once gain this did not last long as I took her in there because I knew she was once again not telling the truth and she was high once again. I knew from the start that the second program might be better since they asked me to come in to her interview with her as they felt she was not telling the truth and they were correct.
Well we are a year later since the OD and now I found needles with a clear liquid in them and she tells me it is water. Then after that the weekend before Memorial Day I was home with food poisoning with my son and she was working late but I heard her come home and upstairs to our bed room. Then I must have fallen into a deep sleep. Then I wake up when I first started to get sick at 12:30am and she was nowhere to be found. So once I was able to leave the bathroom I called her on her cell and tell her I really sick where she was. She said Walgreen’s so I asked her to get something for my stomach. Well over the next six hours I was up and down to the bath room and around 5am she comes home. She tells me please not to ask where she was and what she was doing. I was really in no shape to care at that time and I was already mad, so when I was finally able to get out of bed the next day (my son went to my in-laws) I was down stair and went to our powder room to go to the bathroom and I see this bracelet on the grown with my wife’s name and information on it dated the time was did not come home. After she knew I had found this laying on the floor she tell me it was a good thing and it was form the hospital but it did not have any hospital name on it. So now about an hour ago I was getting ready to go to bed 3:30am and I go into our bathroom and I see this winter boot with her winter hat rolled up in the boot. So I reached in and open the hat and not really to my surprise I found two needles, shoe lace, a bunch of blue little packets (labeled volume 1, getto, and block party). So now I am back to what do I do now? I just graduated yesterday from college I am 33yrs old have a good job of 12yrs and so so tired of this BS anymore and her not having any kind of being honest when she says she is trying or thing will be different. I heard it all before!!

[Cats Meow]

I think you know what you have to do, but do you want to hear it from us for reinforcement?
Cut the strings that bind, you can't change her, it's too late, she'll only change if and when she wants, a more permanent position from you may be the catalyst it takes to bring about change, but you have to protect your interests, which includes your children, which means it's time to go to court with all your ammunition, gain legal custody, restraining orders, visitation, financial support from her, the whole deal. You have to make the first move, take the ball and run, get you and your kid's life on track, and away from her negative influence, and get on with living.

[Robert_325]

I'm with Cat. You have just graduated college and you are 33 years old with a child. Congratulations on that accomplishment by the way. Obviously you have had to work hard to achieve this while working full time, taking care of your family and dealing with your wife's nonsense. She is continuing to drag you down and placing your child in a negative and unhealthy environment. Your health is potentially being compromised by her intravenous drug use. What would your child's future be if you were to be infected with HIV??? I would get away from this situation as quickly as possible. Should your wife turn her life around that would be great. But insist that she do it herself without placing you and your child in the world she has chosen to live. No way I would give an inch on this. Cut your legal ties to her, maintain full custody of your child and get on with your life. Force your wife to make some adult decisions without having you to pull her out of the gutter every time she chooses to act so irresponsibly. Good luck.