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Help. My husband is addicted to pain pills.
  1. #1
    4strength is offline New Member
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    Unhappy Help. My husband is addicted to pain pills.

    How do I even start something like this? I need help, advice, anything. I have only been married 2 months. I have a 1 year old daughter (not my husband's child) I am a recovered meth-addict who has worked extremely hard build myself back a good life, after losing everything to my own addiction 3 years ago. The man I married, i knew had somewhat of an issue with pain pills... was i just in denial, or did i really not realize how bad it was? Months before we were married i discovered he had been shooting up his pills. After this confrontation, he promised he would never do it again...

    More background.... my husband is on probation, and going to outpatient drug treatment classes. He has been through an inpatient treatment program before, and passed... He does have severe back pain, and does legitimately need surgery, however i believe, having been an addict myself, that he uses this as a "reason" to use.

    It all started as I began catching him in these little lies... trying to get pain pills from my family member's behind my back... Promising me he would not ask anymore, and then turning right around and doing it all over again...

    Then, today at lunch, i notice a glass of water in an odd spot.... found a spoon in my car, and one in the sink... found the q-tips... then found the needle....

    My first and most important concern is for my daughter. i must protect her. I dont know what to do... i want to be supportive because i know because i am living proof that recovery IS POSSIBLE, but how can i do this? I feel like i am enabling him.... that i cant trust him, i have not told him i found this but how can i act like everything is fine when it is so far from fine... and how can i stay married to someone who las lied so much to cover up an addiction???

  2. #2
    Junkie781 is offline Member
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    I am truly sorry to hear of this struggle....one line you posted stood out a bit:

    and how can i stay married to someone who las lied so much to cover up an addiction???
    Only YOU can answer that, but try to remember that when addicts are actively using drugs, they are not necessarily in control of a lot of their actions. Oh sure, we're accountable and responsible for what we say and do while using, but the majority of these words and actions are compelled by the addiction.......ask yourself: If he wasn't using drugs, would he have any reason to lie?

    Anyway, the other thing I think you have to keep in mind is that addicts have to hit some kind of bottom and have to want to stop in order to stop. If he's not ready to stop right now, there isn't going to be much you can do to get him to stop, but I don't think an honest discussion will hurt him either, at least you'll get it out there....the old saying (in the AA and NA rooms) is "We're only as sick as our secrets, and the truth shall set you free"

    Part of how I escaped active pain pill addiction 17 days ago was to come clean with my wife about my problem, but I really, really wanted to stop.....that's a huge factor.

    Best of luck to you...

  3. #3
    4strength is offline New Member
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    Thank you so much for your response. It helps me to hear a point of view from the other side of the spectrum. You know, for some reason I had the notion that since I am a recovered addict myself, that I should be able to understand what is happening with him... and I believe I was really wrong about that. I know each of us are fighting our own personal battle with our weaknesses, and that no one, regardless of what they have experienced, can truly understand what we are going thorugh. I have had a talk with him since I posted my first message, I want him to know that I dont want to lose him, that I want to show him that I love and support him and will do all I can to help him through it... the problem is that I dont know how to do that! I thought we came to an understanding last but then suddenly I found out inadvertantly MORE lies he had told me and I lost my cool... All I want is honesty. I believe he love me and my daughter and I believe with all my heart that he WANTS to be a father and a husband that is SOBER... I just think he does not know how to get there... and i feel so helpless for not being able to help...

  4. #4
    randomb1tch is offline New Member
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    Unhappy addiction

    hi i know how you feel my boyfriend he is only 18 years of age and he is addicted to his brothers ADHD pills and he is also addicted to weed. for the past few days he has been asking me to help him but im not able to help him as we are having an internet relationship. i have told him many things to do but he wont see anyone as he is too shy to tell anyone things that have happend to him in his past life. so can someone please help? i have told him to move away from his parents as he is still living with his family,but i hav told him many times he needs to get away and try to stay away from the people that are giving him these drugs,but he keeps sayin to me ' if i move away i wont be able to talk to you much ' i have told him theres always the phone but he says it just wont b the same so i dont know what to do can someone please help me help him i love him very much!! if u know how to help me or have any infomation please contact me with this email randomb1tch@hotmail.com thank you.

  5. #5
    gdr245 is offline New Member
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    Junkie781 pretty much hit the nail on the head. After 23 years in AA and NA, I have met thousands of alkies and addicts and have yet to hear one say they quit before they hit a hard bottom. Dependency on pain meds is one thing and may require a lot of support in some cases, but there is never an honest justification in enabling a true addict or alcoholic.

    The line between loving support and enabling is a fine one. Alanon, if it available to you, could be of immense help to you at this time of your life.

    I am three weeks into getting off Morphine that I took for several years. I never abused it and so I have no cravings for it now, but I had one hell of a dependance, and went through the roughest time of my life, getting it out of my system. I too have a trashed back, but the pain is less than that which I was experiencing being dependant on the morphine.

    Good luck Hon and take care of yourself and your child. If you believe, ask God for help. He will give you what you need.

  6. #6
    pegster45 is offline New Member
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    Unhappy sons addiction to oxycotin

    How do you get help for someone that does not have health insurance?
    My son wants to go away but is turned down because he worked for 2 months out of the last 8 months and hasn't worked for a month. They told him that he made too much money in the 2 months that he worked. He wants to go away and get help. He has no money he owns nothing and has lots of debt. My son is 27 years old.

  7. #7
    Junkie781 is offline Member
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    Pegster45 - I know that Catholic Charities helps people who do not have the financial resources got to detox and drug programs... You don't have to be Catholic to get help, you just have to need help.

    Here's a link:
    http://www.catholiccharitiesusa.org/...=292&srcid=193

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