Help me understand Suboxone!

[lost andconcerned]

Hello all,
I'm currently dating a guy I've known for years.. He was addicted to heroin for about 5-6 years. I'm now dealing with his use of suboxone. I am not against the idea of suboxone, it has been really helpful to read everyone's experiences but I am concerned with his mentality and improper usage of subs.

First off, does anyone have any personal knowledge of using subs occasionally for maintenance or urges? This is one issue I had a lot of trouble finding personal accounts of.

Anyways, I guess my boyfriend would be able to legitimately obtain a script for subs but he doesn't have that great of insurance and probably would not be able to afford the doc visits and prescriptions. Also, he has said that he doesn't even want to be prescribed to them because he doesn't want to deal with addiction or coming off of them.

My boyfriend normally takes subs once a week.. he has told me mixed things about how much he takes.. When he takes them he gets speedy, maybe not pinned but verrry small pupils, and he just looks high. It's really upsetting to me because years ago when we dated I used to see him high on heroin and I never knew the depth of what was going on (I was 17 years old).. but now that I know and look back on those times, it makes me sick to see him any way but normal, clear eyed, clear headed, calm, with regular sized pupils!

I realize that suboxone has helped many people. However, I would feel better about them if he took them on a regular basis. Then again, his explanation of taking them occasionally with one of the reasons to avoid addiction to them makes some sense. He has admitted he took them when he was using to avoid dope sickness and I know many other people that call him looking for them do the same. MY concern also is that his ways of getting them is off the street which keeps him in contact with people who do drugs and he's still doing something illegal that mentally plays a role since it's the same process he'd go through getting any other drugs. I can never come to a decision about how I feel about the way he uses suboxone. I'm glad he is taking them and not doing drugs but then again sometimes his mentality about it seems like he's still in addict personality mode and not ready to be completely clean.

He tells me he takes half a pill which is 4mg if I'm not mistaken? Then some days he will not take as much.. and it will not affect him at all. When he takes half a pill (according to him), that is when I can't stand to see him. He is very needy, small pupils, glossy eyes, every little thing I do gets to him and he is buzzing around and voice completely changes. I told him that we shouldn't see each other when he takes them at least for awhile b/c it just leads to me being upset, frustrated, and annoyed.. and going by the books, it seems like if he was under the care of a doctor, they would say that it's too high of a dosage for him.

I have so many mixed emotions, for awhile I thought well maybe he's snorting them and that's why they affect him so strongly.. For a while he was telling me he was only taking them once a week like that was a good thing.. which it is when you're tapering down but then I was thinking well geez, you only take them every couple days or every so often so you get them out of your system so when you do take them, you get that 'high' from them. So I asked him if he was taking them for that effect that they give him that seems like and looks like a 'high' to me.. he said no because he does not feel an effect- he feels normal but more energetic and happy. Since he is not taking opiates anymore and not withdrawing, it is understandable that suboxone would have such a strong effect..

I do not think he is physically addicted to suboxone but I feel like in his mind, he believes that not taking them for a week is under his control, he doesn't need them.. but he is antsy for that week to go by so he can get a buzz from them or whatever. I know this probably sounds stupid.. he has even said if he was looking for a high, he would do drugs but he doesnt want to do that anymore.. but sometimes I think well maybe he does this b/c it's the best he can get and feel like he's not addicted and in control. He has also said ' why would i take them more often, i can't afford it and people i know who start taking them more often feel like they want more or get depressed after so long because it doesn't give the same feeling it did when you first take them so why wouldn't i take them every once in awhile so it makes me feel good at the same time and i'm not getting addicted? '.... Now, that made some sense but please help me out, does that not sound like yes, he is taking it for the effect.. do you still think that he's not ready to be clean or is it that he's trying to get through the rough times of addiction and I should look at it positively that he is relying on legal drugs (in an illegal manner) to control his addiction? Does anyone else feel as though suboxone controls the cravings for a few days? He has said that he takes them and he's good for a couple days.. I suggested that since he is so strongly affected by half a pill and I get upset over it and he gets upset because I'm upset, why not take .25mg of a pill in the morning, and the other .25mg at another point.. then it would be in his system and it wouldn't affect him as much, which would make both of us feel better but I don't know if that would work? He hasn't seemed like he sees a point in doing that which even more so adds to my belief that he's taking them for the initial effect (the 'high' i believe he gets) and not for any other reason?


Sometimes, I just don't see an end to the use and it's scary because it has affected our relationship and I think it may steer him back in the wrong direction once they are no longer enough. He keeps telling me he will stop taking them but it seems to be inconsistent and the only consistency there is with it is taking them once a week, half a pill.. some weeks, like this week.. he took half a pill last fri, sunday, and tues and now again and it's friday.. He doesn't have a full time job currently and he keeps telling me that once he can get busy, get a full time job and back into the gym, that he won't even have the time to do anything else and that will really push him to stop everything..

I'd really appreciate everyone's advice and personal stories. I apologize it's so long, hopefully someone can find the time to provide some guidance, thank you.

[purpledog]

hey there pal, im not an expert on subs, Yet!!, ive been on them for 4 weeks now to sort out my long time methadone/opiate habit.
wot i do know for sure, is subs have a large amount of half life, so they last a long long time. when people are tapering off they have to wait 4 days till they drop again. without hassles.
and i do know that other opiates are a waste of time while you are on subs, coz they bind to the receptors very well, and knock off all other opiates,
so your bf may be using this way to stay off the other shyte.
and i can tell you from experience, subs, dont give you such a high. um, i feel normal on them, i am on 6mg once a day. in the morning.
yes my eyes are pinpricks, but i feel a lot more normal, less dozy, more enthusiasm, little bit speedy.
i can only tell you what i feel, hope this is of some help to you

good luck girl
purpledog

[bev49]

My opinion is that your b'f is taking them in a totally wrong way. Most people don't get high on subs but I have definitely seen that some people do and it certainly seems like he's taking them for the effecdt they have on him. Subs are meant as a relatively short term treatment for opiate addiction. They should be taken every day and tapered off within a short period of time. If someone looks and acts high, they're high. No question about that i think. I'm so sorry to tell u this but to me it seems like its no different from someone taking a few oxy's, a bit of methadone of heroin.