Help me help my husband-URGENT

[HelpMyHubby]

Hi all,

As the tears well up in my eyes, I am going to try and type this as fast as I can as I am a teacher and am at school and should be seeing children right now.

My husband is away on a business trip and he is returning tonight. Well, he called me last night and told me he needed to tell me something. He told me he is addicted to percocets and he needs my help. He was crying on the phone and sounded so scared. I can't believe I didn't know this was going on.

Anyway, this has been going on for about 4 months. He started taking them to help him get through his stressful job while he is also going to night school for his Bachelor's degree. We are new parents (have a 16 month old) and I guess it's just been hard to balance everything.

Long story short, he is coming home tonight. He wants me to pick him up WHATEVER will work. I was reading the Thomas Recipe. Should I go that route? I wont have access to valium or any other similar prescription. Is it ok to skip that step and just get the other stuff?

Some more quick info-at one point I think he was taking 40's. I dont even know quite what all this means. He had weaned himself down to 10's then 7.5's and now 5's. (Again this is all foreign language to me, but I have done some reading on your forum, so I am somewhat understanding it, and realize this is a low dose now). He only has 2 left. He can go about 12 hours without taking one, but he is sweating profusely and has the chills. He is also going to the bathroom (bowel movements) more. He has lost a lot of weight. Also, he does smoke cigarettes and weed.

I understand you are all just regular forum members, but please advise me on what to do. He really wants me to pick up whatever will work for him before he flys home tonight.

I am a nervous wreck. I have to take care of a baby, 3 dogs and now my husband...and have no one to tell.

Thanks in advance.

[HelpMyHubby]

Forgot to add that he CANNOT sleep...which I guess I am reading is pretty common, and he also has a pretty bad case of restless leg syndrome.

[caughtagain]

Hi Help, we are here... Sit tight and I will type a longer post

[caughtagain]

Ok..... First of all, it is good that he wants to quit. One of the biggest factor in someone getting clean is their desire to WANT IT.... As far as The Thomas recipe, that is your best best to help him overcome the symptoms that he is going to feel the next 5 days or so.. What he will feel is like he has the flu, but don't worry because that is about it as far as what he will feel... Stomach, lack of sleep, agitated, RLS (restless leg).. These are all symptoms related to going through WD... After 4 to 5 days most of the symptoms will start to lessen and he will start being clear.. You can have him come on here and post on this thread. We can guide him (and you) through the rough waters. But have faith things will work out as long as he does not use.. I took Vicodins and used for a long time... Over two years ago I went Cold turkey and made it through and have not used since.. Trust me, if I can do it, so can he.. The key is HE HAS to WANT IT... Take a deep breath... Oh and I did not use Benzo's either, so for the next few days, he should just treat those symptoms I told you about.. Drink plenty of water/gatorade and know that THIS TOO SHALL PASS... All my best, Reid

[ComingHome]

The first thing you need to always keep in the back of your mind is that addicts are typically deceptive in nature. It goes along with the territory of being addicted. He kept it a secret from you for a while and this is evidence that he has the potential to continue to be deceptive and manipulative. It is not necessarily a personal defect of his, but like I said, it usually just comes with the territory. With that said, and speaking from my experience with myself and working with other recovering addicts, there is a strong likelyhood that he is now giving you partial truths. 9 times out of 10, when an addict "comes clean" with their loved ones, they do not give an accurate description of the length of time they've been using, the amount they were using, and the amount that they are currently using. To say that he went from 40's to 5's does not mean a lot. You can take more 5's and it can still add up to the same amount. My honest opinion (based on my experience) is that he was getting low, couldn't get more for whatever reason, and he panicked since he is starting to expeience withdrawals.

Again, I want to reiterate, becoming addicted to a substance such as Percocet does not necessarily make him a bad person, but it can certainly make him act deceptively and manipulatively. But, that is a good sign that he recognizes he has a problem and wants help. The fact is you will be able to provide very little help other than providing support. He has to want it, and he has to want it more than anything. Just pay attention if he starts to waver and he starts to minimize it after a little time - that is a big red flag.

I've never done the Thomas recipe, but I have heard some good things about it. There is also the Suboxone route, but if you take that route, keep in mind that the doctors tend to prescibe rediculously high amounts of sub, and work with someone like Robert on this board. Also, the goal is to stay on sub for as short as possible. Short term and long term help with a 12 step program like NA or AA will increase his chances of staying sober dramatically. In my case, I couldn't have done it without NA. Just be aware that he will have to attend a lot of meetings - meetings are the "treatment" for his addiction and daily maintenance of sobriety. They typically recommend a meeting a day for 90 days, and then several meetings a week indefinitely. Meeting makers make it. I have 6 years clean, and I don't think I could have done it without regular meeting attendance - so, I speak from my personal experience. Again, he is going to have to be the one to put in the work, and all you can do is support him, BUT that support can help a lot. Hope that helps.

CH

[HelpMyHubby]

Thanks for your quick reply, Reid. It means a lot to me, and for others seeking quick support.

I have a list of things from the Thomas Recipe I will be running out to get after school today. I am just fearing the worst I guess. I can't believe we are in this situation, but I know we can get through it.

I meant to put this entire thread in the drug addiction subforum. I am pretty good with forums, as I am an avid dog rescuer and am a super moderator on another forum. I totally panicked at school and just typed this in the help section. Feel free to move the thread (and I will be able to find it) if it means I will get more responses/feedback/suggestions in the drug addiction subforum.

My husband is a good, strong, hard working guy. I am sure many people just like him get stuck in predicaments like this. I just can't wait for it to be over.

[caughtagain]

I would keep the thread where it is, as you will find all the help/support you need right here. We are here for you! P.S. I am a super dog lover too.. We have 3 rescues.. Reid

[HelpMyHubby]

We are here for you! P.S. I am a super dog lover too.. We have 3 rescues.. Reid

That makes me smile. My three dogs are my world (along with my husband and baby of course)...but there is nothing like coming home every day and feeling like a superstar to my furbabies! Dogs are the best medicine for me. My husband says he can't wait to detox this weekend and lay with the dogs. Maybe they will help him too!

ps- To ComingHome: Thank you for your input. I would like to respond to your post later when I have more time to type.

[NoMoreLies]

I stopped using cold turkey on 12/13........I was using Vicodin, Percocet, Fentanyl patches and Oxycontin and I did it without benzo's. I was sick and miserable for about 5 days. Sleep took much longer for me to get back because I had been using Klonopin and Ambien to sleep and I stopped using them as well. But now I'm able to sleep 6-8 hours per night without medication. I think the things that helped me withdrawing were trying to stay busy and keep my mind off it, plus anti diarrhea medicine, lots of water and Gatorade. It's a tough week but it can be done if he wants it!

[flatsman444]

Yes your husband can do this. He must be sick of the other life. But he needs to follow through and stay clear of pain meds. Many of us here have started and stopped these meds for years. It knows no boundary , thats the nature of these meds. Remember that the prize for your husband is FREEDOM. Even if he didnt care about that and Im sure he does. What would be the other choice ? Done deal , this is THE PLACE for help . There are so many heroes here , they will all be here for him. Beware of the relapse as someone warned you, these pills change us . Peace

[kathleen5hockey]

Dog lovers have to hear the song by Billy Currington, "like my dog", will make you laugh.