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Getting ready to withdrawal,
Getting ready to withdrawal,
I'm somewhat congufused as to wher I write/ talk/ listen....
I've been on Xanax 2mg 2-5 times A day for 10 yrs. oxys 10 mg. 4-8 a. Day, for 6 yrs. my last Dr moved on, and no one will touch me.... I do have chronic pain, seems to be worsening. And anxiety... OMG the anxiety!!!!! While I'm not even out yet, I'm so freaking out. I had a 2 day detox, a few yrs back when. A Doc, just cut me off. Thank god, friends family, helped until I found a Dr.
I'm so F ing scared, I know what's in store for me, and while there is a part of me that says, it's time.. Harder. Each time to find a Dr that believes my pains, and will be human and listen. The BIGGER part of me is NOT ready.
I was going to tapper, my last Rx...a months worth and ....... Yea, seemed I increased instead, addict in me???
So, suboxone is my next choice, because from the last time, I know, I am NOT strong enough, to go alone, cold turkey.
So confused on the suboxone. Can someone please. Tell me, after my 2 days of hell, will I feel" normal" once I start the suboxone???? Will I be a person, be able to work?? Talk to ppl with out acting like a cracked out freak?????
God, I'm scared!!!!!!
I have a great family, husband, kids, they're 100 % behind me. I don't want to turn into this awful monster, and hurt them with harsh words of withdrawal.
PLEASE advise , stories ???? What do I have in store???
Last edited by Tat23; 06-04-2012 at 02:02 PM.
You should probably feel ok once you start on suboxone if you induct properly. Look for Robert's suboxone therapy link he has a great plan set up. That's the point of suboxone, it stops wds - you should feel like a human being again. Just use Robert's plan and be careful not to use it too long, too much, and/or get off it too suddenly or you'll find the wd's from it make oc feel like a cakewalk. I just came to this forum a couple days ago so take everything with a grain of salt but just tryin to help.
Anyhow I just wanted to confirm one thing which you probably already know, but double checking - you are not cold turkeying from the xanax too, right? Just saying because 10mg alprazolam per day is a _huge_ amount and there's a good chance you will have a seizure and _die_ if you stop taking it abruptly. Opiate wd's can't be lethal but benzos can and are, but since you're prescribed both you prolly kno that.
it's the xanax withdrawal that makes you act like a 'cracked out freak'. been there. NOT FUN. not even 2 mos ago, i was addicted to xanax and opiates. now i'm free from both. what worked for me was a detox facility. but i was lucky, it's hard to find one that will treat someone addicted to both. mine was called ACTS?? i'm not sure if that helps u at all, but worth a shot.
Thanks to both of you who have responded.
First, YES, I'm going to be coming off BOTH at the same time. , the latest Dr, that will work with me knows this, and when I decided to do the taper first, she prescribed , things for nausea, an anti depressant, which I truly didn't want to get back on, and like I said, I was not able to tapper. We all know it's like saying don't look at the sun, lol we look at the sun!
So, my appointment with her is next Monday, and I may have enough to get to Monday. Not at. MY usual dosage , but better than nothing.
Trying to be strong here.
What I have heard about the suboxone, is just that, comming off it, is harder/ worse.
I'm also scared to change my mind set....... When overwhelmed, I take a pill.
So thank you, I will look up Roberts therapy, and follow that,
How did we all get here????
Tat, please do not try to come off that much xanax for that long without medical supervision. That can be dangerous. Surfdog
I totally agree with you, but I am seeing a Dr, she knows what drugs I am on, and was not willing to prescribe more of either. I went thru a few days of being off both a few yrs ago, and I know, nightmares, sweats, convulsions..... The works.... The Drs don't seem to care. And yet they put me on everything in the first place.!!!!
Make sure the doc is familiar with benzo wd please surfdog
tat, I would like to think that any doctor would not tell you to CT off of 8-10 mg of xanex! Please make it very clear to your Dr the amount of benzo's you have been taking, and for how long. I hope you know about the serious risks involved with ct off benzo's. The odds of you having a seizure without the proper care and meds are REALLY high. I had a seizure from benzo wd back in the day, and describing it as miserable is an understatement. If I was you and my doc tolk me wanted me to just stop taking them without the proper meds, I would not listen to a word he said about anything. I would check into a detox and do it under close medical supervision.
As for the sub's They are a great tool, but i feel that they are used more often than they are needed. Have you though about going CT off the oxy? You would be over the worst of the wd's in just a couple days if you are taking 80mg's a day. If you do decide to take the sub route, make sure you do not get put on too high of a dose(a couple mg's tops). If you wind up getting addicted to a high dose of subs, it is going to be a much, much longer and more painful process to get off of them.
This is where I'm sooo scared, hearing about the sub addiction/ withdrawal.
I will try again to talk to the Dr, I've only met with her once, and she's my last resort without buying on line / or off the street.
But I do think this is cruel , for a doc to just drop anyone.
I will keep looking and I will also look into the clinic route.
I am now between 2-5 Mgs of Xanax a day. but have been on for 10 yrs, and was up to 6-12 Mgs, so I have come down.... Not enought tho.
This doc & the old one who CUT me off , gave me hydroxyzine, " in place" of. HOWEVER, I react total opposite, it makes me hyper, more nervous/ anxious. I've tried to explain this.....
Do u have advice on that???
I'm honestly getting more & better suggestions here, than from any docs... Thank all of you
Tat I would use a clinic to get off the benzos they are extremely dangerous and with the lenthof time and dosage you were on ct on them is out of the question. Hydros will not replace the ben works on the brain differently and wd from benzo can show up as long as 72 days after the last dose MP5 is dead on this should be done under close medical supervision Surfdog
yesterday, when i read this, i was going to say: "I think your dr. is uninformed" if they say you can
First, YES, I'm going to be coming off BOTH at the same time. , the latest Dr, that will work with me knows this
go off the benzo's cold turkey..
but after your comment below, it was that little 'shove' i needed to reply
have seen it over and over.. ignorant, uninformed dr.'s, who get all their knowledge from 'drug reps'..
Originally Posted by Tat23
i swear! this forum should be required reading for doctors, and especially so, for those who
call themselves 'pain managment' doctors!
personally, if i was one in need of advise, i would absolutely! take word of people who 'have been there'
than take it from somebody who 'thinks' they 'know'..
wishing you alllll the best, tat!
I'm so glad to be talking to all of you, thank you.
BUT now, I'm still confused ... Ok I understand the benzo.... Get off slow, under supervision
Now the Oxys.... Cold turkey vs suboxone ????? ????!!!!!
I suppose what I experienced last time may have been MORE the benzo....
I do NOT feel like I am a strong person! That's the only reason I was thinking sub. But I also do NOT want to go thru something 2x!!!!!!
So, from all the folks reading this.... No suboxone ??? Just suffer thru, I have to go 2 days anyway.... Is that what I'm hearing????
Sorry to sound like such an idiot. I'm just REALLY scared to death......
Tat you are not an idiot, ans scared is ok, I would not use the subs but that is up to you I would suggest you talk to some others on here first before making a decision good Luck Surfdog
Tat, all I can do is welcome you here. I am only on day 3 of wd, (Hydro)- I feel awful, physically and emotionally (crying a lot) but all I can do is move forward. Know that you have company. Scared? I am scared sh*tless that I won't keep this going. So far I have not gone to any "street drugs" (I put a "no opiates" on my official records. Even then I was looking through some paperwork and found a "baggie" with some pills (who knows when I put them there, but I threw them out. I think they were an anti-depressant I was prescribed years ago-I have yet to take those things).
Scared? You bet I am. This is powerful stuff. I do not want to waste any more of my life with it.
Tat, I do not understand.... You are on that much xanax for ten years, but the dr has cut you off and you have only seen her once? please explain whats up... Also, simply put going CT off that much benzo is NOT safe. Unless something is missing, Dr's are not there to put you in danger... That is putting you in danger. As far as the oxy... your call. But I am more worried about the Benzo's at this point... All my best, Reid
Ried, what I got out of post 1 and 4 is that her old doctor passed away, and the the new Dr is the one she only saw once before. The new Dr that she saw last time rx'd her things to help her taper, but the taper didn't work. And now for some silly reason the doctor is just telling her stop.
Last edited by MP5; 06-07-2012 at 05:11 PM.
Welcome to the forum.
I am not going to give you advice - just share with you my experience with BOTH opiates (oxys) and benzos (xanax).
First, I did not do both at the same time. I was fortunate enough to have a great doctor who worked with me to get off of the ???? I was on (both from docs and from "friends"). This way, I was able to do this w/o being in a facility, yet I was medically monitored daily. I had a spyro-meter, so my wife took my BP every few hours, and I went to my doc’s office every few days - spoke to him on the phone EVERY day.
Opiate w/d was painful, but not life threatening (for me anyway). My doc prescribed me clonidine to control some of my w/d symptoms. I used a lot of Imodium, and continued using the benzos for anxiety/sleep. I did not get to a support group like I should have (NA) and had a brief relapse. Thank God I lived to get back to recovery, and I am now VERY active in my recovery; 12 step fellowship.
So, while it really stunk, opiate w/d is painful, but physically over (for me) in 5 to 6 days.
Benzo w/d - tapering: HOLY COW! First, I had to be switched from Xanax (short half life) to Valium (longer half life). Then, due to the amount I was taking (similar to you) and the duration (longer than yours), I "baby-stepped” it down, taking my time. The taper schedule was on my schedule, not on some arbitrary, pre-defined schedule from some book. My doctor worked with me, as his patient, as a human being. It seemed to take forever. However, before I knew it, I was down to the level of benzos where the only real affect it had on me was a "placebo-affect". There was lingering mood affects, but once you understand them for what they are – you get through them (This is where a support group – NA – is HUGE).
That is my experience with the medication and the great doctor that worked with me. Now, for the MOST important part - the support group. This forum is fantastic! However, I could have never made it w/o the fellowship, friends/network and sponsor that was given to me by God through NA. NA, the people in NA, saved my life. Like it is stated in their literature: One addict helping another addict is w/o parallel. Basically, as doctor can help you pharmacologically. NA provides you with REAL WORLD support that in times of trouble - saves your life.
I don't want to ramble on. My experience w/ being addicted to both is that I did not stop until I had the proper medical supervision in place (my doctor), and the proper support system in placed (my wife, family, this forum, and N/A).
Best of luck. There are doctors out there who will help you. You may not be responsible for your disease of addiction. You are responsible for your recovery. Chase your recovery liked you chased your DOC.
Persistency is consistency
Tom ..... great to hear you're doing so well buddy! Call me some time, would love to talk. It's been too long. God bless my friend!
I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.
Sorry haven't been here in a few days.
I am on " state assisted insurance" my first Dr, he put me on pain meds for chronic pain, and Xanax because I was having panic attacks. I had him for 3/4 yrs. he moved away, I have been passed down 3 x to other docs. Sense it is " state assisted" it is a teaching hospital and Drs come & go.....
So my last Dr, said " I was out of her league , and I scared her" she wanted me to tapper me down, I agreed. But each time I picked up my Rx, she never lowered the dose. I should have been strong and done it, the taper. BUT I addicted. My brain doesn't think that way.
The next thing I know, she's leaving and NO Dr at that clinic will see me. So I went to 2 Drs that AREtaking new patients, the first said, NO, I do not need another patient on opiates.
The 2nd Dr said, I'll see you, but NO pills, I still had some of my last Rx, and she said a fast taper, OR suboxone.
I'm TRYING that with the Xanax, down to 1-2 Mgs a day. Not dou g so well with the oxys.
Is that a little clearer?
So, the latest. I have been working with many " pain" issues, trying many alternative ways. After many tests, I saw a surgeon today. I'm going to have shoulder surgery, due to a rotator cuff tear.
SO.... I can not go thru surgery without pain meds. I will see this new Dr again on Monday, and I will beg/ pleade with her, to please work with me here. Taper me, off both. But please DO NOT cut me.
No stress, anxiety here!!!
Thank you VERY much, for sharing! I really appreciate it. I talked with a friend today, who's family is addicted to something, she shared with me how important Alanon was for her. And recomended , like you, a group. I believe I will listen to both of you.
I am scared. And as I said in my first post, I did experience a mini withdrawal a few years back. I thought the HELL was the oxys, now I know, it was mostly the Xanax.
One minute I'm strong and say, I can do this...... Then I'm weak and grab a pill.
I'm almost out.
I very much appreciate everyone's story's and feed back. Thank You.
Tat, I had prescriptions for things I didn't even remember (the pharmacy called me -auto voice- to "remind me" I had a prescription for Gabapentin-something I have NEVER taken except to try it a few days and decide all it was doing was give me an upset stomach). Cancelled that one (pharmacies can be so helpful). I can only assume Gabapentin has no opiates as by now they should have big red flags and letters saying "no Opiates".
Pharmacies are a business (hard to remember that) and they dredge up things I have not had for years: I have script (apparently) for a cholesterol med from 3? pharmacies??? I cancelled everything from this one, and all next week are Dr.'s appointments. From now on I am only going to get script from their pharmacy at the hospital. I was weak enough (after another wd a month or so ago, to , upon called helpfully that my "prescription was ready", went and got another for Hydro).
That was before I had the Dr. put "no opiates" on my computerized records, but I no longer trust any of these pharmacies. DON'T LET THEM TALK YOU INTO GRABBING A PILL. It is so not worth it. ...and I wish I had faith in myself to say "NO" when these things come out of the blue. I am only dealing with the hospital pharmacy, and made sure they had nothing on record except the very few I need (cholesterol, so far).
You are not weak, you are just a target for more money for the pharmaceutical industry. Hang tight and put up the barricades!
Hi everyone, I haven't been on for a while , but I just wanted to update you.
I had my Dr appt this last Monday, I was abel to talk the Dr into continuing my Xanax... Well she changed it to lorazepam, so I have a bit longer to taper. I didn't bother asking for more pain meds, as I knew that was a dead end. I'm grateful for the Rx she did give.
I am down to 1 Xanax a day, 1/2 mid day and 1/2 to sleep. I used to take them at the first sign of anxiety, usually 9am. So I'm a little better there.
Still haven't tapered the hydros..... Don't know what wrong with me!!!!
I'll keep everyone posted as to what's going on. And again, thank you all for your advice. I've decided I'm STAYING AWAY from the subs...... I'm way to susceptible to liking the high, and I don't want to go there.
My surgery is set for July 10, so.... Will see how the taper goes with the hydros...... At this point I have it set in my brain that I'll get through the surgery a week maybe 1 1/2 weeks, then...... Withdrawal, I'm going to be down and home ( no working for at least 2 months) so, this will be a good time to just DO IT!!!!!!
Thank again, God Bless !
Last edited by Tat23; 06-14-2012 at 09:28 PM.
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Tat, good fortune to you! You have a lot coming up. I think it must be very hard to quit anything facing surgery ; but as I have seen the increase in sub wd threads over the years here, one has to wonder if it is really a help. I don't know since I didn't try it; some years back I made an appointment with a Dr. for it, but he was talking a lot of money, and a year on the things. Robert is clearly the person to go to with that one.
Originally Posted by Tat23
Hi, to whom ever is listening.
I've been on the Ativan for about a week now, and while I truly have NOT pushed myself, to go without, I'm at 1/2-1 a day. I feel fine.... Is this normal? The Ativan does not have the nice high that Xanax has, but I'm surprised I have not had any jitters, or overwhelming anxiety.
I am feeling a lot of aches & pains, mostly in my upper back, neck area, I'm thinking it's more from my Shoulder, but it could be the lack of Xanax???
Any thoughts from anyone?
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Well I guess I spoke too soon!!! Last night couldn't sleep, even tho I took a whole 1 mg Ativan, and some natural sleep aide. Today I feel " out of it" and my skin is starting to feel prickly. It's tolerable , I went thru worse the last time. BUT I want to pop a pill, to ease the weirdness.
Ok, I'll keep posting.
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Tat is that really what you want to do ? Man you have come a long way don't blow it now it will pass. I mean think about this: I wnat to take one of those divorce, jail, bankrupt, ruined relationships pills to feel better, hard to use on the truth hang tight you've come too far Surfdog
Hi surf dog,
Yes you are right, and I'm sticking with the plan, I just babel! I know I need to get thru this fog, to feel right again.
Like I said, it is tolerable right now, I pray it continues!
Thanks for your feedback
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Tat great man you got past the craving, when craving starts do something, call your sponsor, go to a meeting, post. Once verbalized it loses it's power. Ya done good proud for you Dog
Originally Posted by Tat23
sticking with the plan!! yes!! you MUST! push thru.. it's part of the journey..
and each time a 'bump in the road' comes by, you'll be able to say: "I've been thru this, and beat it.. I can do it again!"
each time you do, it reinforces the right behavior, and gives you not only confidence to get thru the 'next bump' but it gives you even more strength knowing you CAN do it..
just keep that 'desire' to overcome this front and center!
all my best and prayers! too!
Can anyone help me to understand? Sense I'm now taking Atavan instead of Xanax , is the Ativan helping me somewhat thru the withdrawal off the Xanax? Or is what I'm feeling ( light sensitive, prickly , anxious , not sleeping to good) just going to get worse???
I can do it if this is as bad as it get ( PLEASE!) I'm just scared that the whole shaking, awful feeling is just waiting to come out of me.
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