former opiate addict wanting to inspire others Forgive me I don't know all the technical terms for everything nor can I spell all that great. I am male 25 years old. I have been clean from everything for 6 months. I started doing lortab and percocet when I was 15 and then roxy's and oxy's by the time I was 16-17. I was on 16mg of suboxone for the last 3 years. Sadly I started suboxone because I hated withdrawling. It became my crutch and I never withdrawled even if i had suboxone I still did my roxy's, oxy's, tabs and percs. I tried tapering off and I failed miserably every time it just didnt work for me. 6 months ago my mom begged me to quit and took all the money her and my father had to pay my bills up for a month so I could just lay around and suffer and she gave me xanax and trazodone to sleep for as long as I could. To be honest I dont remmeber the first 3-4 days but after that I could not sleep anymore. For weeks it was the single worst thing I ever went through in my life. At the start of the process I flushed all of my medications down the toilet, everything. Around day 7 I found a suboxone under my couch and no matter how much hell I was going through I wasnt going to give up and I flushed it to join its friends in the septic tank. Seems like around day 15-16 it was the worst and I remember praying to God and saying that I had already went that long and it should be over by now, almost in an agry tone. By doing that all of a sudden it got 100x worse and I wanted to die. I started crying and I prayed again and told God i was sorry and that if it was my punishment for the way I lifed my life for me to go through 3 months of the withdrawls then I was ready and I wanted to finish the game. Just like that everything got better and I fell asleep. The days after that just kept getting better and better. As funny as it sounds I have been able to experience things I never was able to, see things I was never able to, even smell things I was never able to. I've had many cravings since I stoped and sometimes I think, well maybe just one. But during the process of quiting I remember my dad saying to me if nothing else do it for my nephew. He is 9 and he is my best friend and I want to be able to do things with him and spend time with him without relying on drugs and I dont want him to grow up seeing me thinking its ok.
Sorry guys I know it may be pointless for me to rant to some people but I wanted to post this because if there is just one person out there I can help then posting this is worth it.
Never give up on quiting. If you can't taper then just quit cold turkey. I'm not a health professional so I cant tell you for sure if its dangerous but I can tell you it is possible and it's worth it.
Also if you are going through a situation with someone else, dont quit on them. Drugs can make us someone we are not and it can take us places you couldnt even imagine. That person needs you more then you will ever know.
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