Encouragement?

[keepmewherethelightis]

24 hours since my last dose.

Not feeling so strong this morning. It feels as though the world is so much bigger than I, and I just don't have the strength to lift myself up to conquer it. Mentally, I feel like I could handle work, but physically, the thought of having to get all dressed up while sweating like this just seems unbearable. Rationally, I know it's just my body craving what it wants, and my brain seems to have jumped on board for the ride. I'm better than this. This living for the next fix. This constant obsession. This constant craving. [Now I feel like K.D. Lang, about to bust out in song.]

I made myself get out of bed and at least move to the living room. I put on a pot of coffee- in the hopes that a little caffeine will help. So far no stomach issues, which is great. I think my biggest hurdle is mentally. I feel like I can't do anything without the pills. Also, rationally, I know that isn't true, since I seemed to survive and thrive a large portion of my life without them. I know it's not going to be easy to wipe a 3 year slate clean, and I'm deluding myself if I think it will be. My life will never be the same because of the hole I've dug for myself.

I'm just rambling on and on here...thinking that maybe if I verbalize the ???? swirling around in my head that I won't just sit here and think it all day. Any advice on how to deal with that longing, that craving for the relief/rush that you know you shouldn't reach for?

Thanks so much for listening/reading. It helps. It really does.

[caughtagain]

This too shall pass.... A simple saying that is so true... You ARE going to have the moments you are going through right now... It's OK and know they will pass. The important thing is you need to KEEP doing the next right thing. Early on your body and your mind do not match much..... One minute your mind is ok, the next your body feels ok, but your mind is toast... As time goes by things will sync up and you will start to have more moments where both systems feel ok and so on... Yoo are doing great. Keep posting as you are doing. I found that when I posted it allowed me to work out Many Many emotions I was feeling at that moment and a lot of times by the time I was done writing on here, I would be better and the feeling/craving/yucky feeling would go away. I detoxed in my office. No one knew what I was going through. Seconds would feel like hours and hours would feel like days.... BUT...... it got better and it will get better for you. We are here for you!!!.... Reid

[Catrina]

Good Morning Keepme,

Hang out on the Forum for a while. Read, read, read and then post whenever and whatever you feel like posting. The time passes without being aware of it. You may have some trouble concentrating as you get further into withdrawal so when that happens just get up, try to take a walk, force yourself to do something and then come back here and read and post some more. Seriously, this Forum I think is what made the time pass for me. Idle minds...not good. It's just so much help to know that there are others who are trying to help you even if it's just to listen and let you know what helped them. It gives hope when you're feeling hopeless.

Remember, you won't use this morning. Right?

Peace,

Cat

[keepmewherethelightis]

This too shall pass.... A simple saying that is so true... You ARE going to have the moments you are going through right now... It's OK and know they will pass. The important thing is you need to KEEP doing the next right thing. Early on your body and your mind do not match much..... One minute your mind is ok, the next your body feels ok, but your mind is toast... As time goes by things will sync up and you will start to have more moments where both systems feel ok and so on... Yoo are doing great. Keep posting as you are doing. I found that when I posted it allowed me to work out Many Many emotions I was feeling at that moment and a lot of times by the time I was done writing on here, I would be better and the feeling/craving/yucky feeling would go away. I detoxed in my office. No one knew what I was going through. Seconds would feel like hours and hours would feel like days.... BUT...... it got better and it will get better for you. We are here for you!!!.... Reid

Reid:
I love your point on that body and mind do not match during the w/d process. So very true, and that's where I often find myself failing - when my brain says, "DO IT!!". I need to remember that my brain is lying to me.

And I don't know if you should encourage me to keep posting, lol.... I'll blow this forum up with posts It's so nice to be around those who "get it".

[keepmewherethelightis]

Good Morning Keepme,

Hang out on the Forum for a while. Read, read, read and then post whenever and whatever you feel like posting. The time passes without being aware of it. You may have some trouble concentrating as you get further into withdrawal so when that happens just get up, try to take a walk, force yourself to do something and then come back here and read and post some more. Seriously, this Forum I think is what made the time pass for me. Idle minds...not good. It's just so much help to know that there are others who are trying to help you even if it's just to listen and let you know what helped them. It gives hope when you're feeling hopeless.

Remember, you won't use this morning. Right?

Peace,

Cat

Cat: My ever encouraging forum buddy - thank you for the encouragement. Your statement "It gives hope when you're feeling hopeless" really hits home for me today. That's exactly I feel. Well - a combination of hopeless and helpless, I guess.

And no, I won't use this morning. (Impossible to do so when you don't have any.) I don't know if I can honestly say that I wouldn't if I could - but I can't so I won't