[mproshuto]

Hello everyone, I have been one of those creepy lurkers on here and decided its time to make myself known...really because I need help!

Here's my story...

Hurt back (disc stuff) in July 07; prescribed Percocet
Followed up with Dr; prescribed Lortab 10/500 4xday, soma, relafen, and predisone
~Skipping to present~
Now am addicted to painkillers...drug of choice Lortab, but anything with codeine will do. Have tried other things: Adderall, Xanax, Klonopin, Alcohol, etc. but don't have a taste for any of that..just codeine. Addiction approx. 1year.

I chew about 40-80 milligrams worth a day depending upon how many I have. I have actually cut down a lot, leaning more towards 40 mg a day. When I am out, I naturally start the withdrawal process. I tend to mine with Klonopin 1 mg as needed; I take tons of vitamins and fish oil everyday so maybe that helps. I am also switching from Prozac 60 mg to Effexor.

The weird thing about my withdrawal is its nothing like what I read on here. My symptoms are excessive sleepiness (I can not stay awake for lengthy period of time), serious depressive thoughts, excessive crying, and serious RLS. I have a bit of back pain, but thats always been there.
I guess I should feel lucky that its nothing like the hell most go through, but I still can't make it past day two without searching out a pill because of the major depression that comes on.

I know I use the pills to "numb" my emotions and feelings and am seriously uncomfortable with feelings of sadness, anger, hurt, etc.

So I guess my question is...is there something I can take or do to curb the major bouts of depression during the withdrawal process? Maybe even something non-narcotic for the sleepiness. What about Tramadol? I heard that helps with depression.

Ok any advice at all will be very helpful. Ultimately, I DO want to feel things but it's been a year since I have and I am scared to. I DO want my life back..even when it wasn't the greatest times. I WANT TO NEVER TOUCH THESE AGAIN....easier said than done!

[Robert_325]

You've made the decision that you are ready to do something about your problem. That is the first major step. Glad you finally decided to post.

For what it's worth while tramadol has been recommended for depression I would not add another drug to your list of current medications. You are taking too many now especially while you are wanting to stop using. See what I am saying? That is the type of thinking that made me end up with a drug problem. I understand your thinking completely. I have been right there where you are at. But you need to lose some of the medications instead of adding to them. Tramadol might be good for depression but it shouldn't be added to a list like you just named off.

We are here to help any way that we can. You haven't described a life long addiction or anything similar. I would suggest dealing with one problem at a time. No huge rush as long as you are making progress. Opiates, klonopin and effexor together should be addressed though. Sounds like the opiates should be the first thing you get rid of.

You can take immodium for diarrhea, drink gatorade for dehydration as its full of electrolytes. Its good you are doing the vitamins and such now. That should help. Get some exercise ... good walks help us feel better. Hot baths or showers help SOME with the RLS. That is one of the worst symptoms and nothing you do is going to make it go away entirely until you get better. You will start feeling better overall when you get a little time clean. Then every day gets better. Let us know how we can help further. God bless.

[mproshuto]

Thanks Robert! I have read the Thomas Recipe and am interested in how the L-tyrosine (sp?) works. Can you or anyone give me the low down on that stuff and will it help with the excessive depression/sleepiness from the withdrawals?

Also just FYI my current prescribed drug regimine is:

Effexor 37.5 mg (will be moving up to 75mg in a week)
Klonopin as needed (no more than 1 mg usually at bed)
Multivitamin
Fish Oil
B100 vitamin

And taking about 40/50 milligrams of opiate daily.

[mproshuto]

Also I am very scared that when the drugs are out of my system for good and I am clean that I won't like my life (or rather how i physically feel) as much as I did when I was taking the lortabs. Can someone tell me what life is like beyond addiction?

[WDDoc]

I can tell you that I crash and burn when i withdraw. I mope around all day. All I can do is sleep. Then again i zonk the hell out of myself with klonipin or valium. I cry like a baby when i withdraw.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by mproshuto

Also I am very scared that when the drugs are out of my system for good and I am clean that I won't like my life (or rather how i physically feel) as much as I did when I was taking the lortabs. Can someone tell me what life is like beyond addiction?

Most all of us are scared in the beginning if me admit it. I surely didn't have any idea how I would be able to do anything clean when I had done every single thing in my life while I was under the influence for decades literally. It takes some time to adjust.

You need to find others that are clean that you can get involved with. This is a great reason to get involved in 12 step recovery like NA. It saved me during the early years of my recovery. Then I found Jesus Christ and today life is a blessing every day. Never knew things could be so peaceful. My life was so screwed up while I was using and I didn't even realize it half the time. I was in constant turmoil about something all the time.

Possibly the greatest gift of recovery is finding out how to live without being in the ozone all the time and being able to experience emotional feelings that I had never felt before. I was a child when I started using and was close to 50 when I got clean. So being high was all that I knew. Give this some time. Your only real regret once you get some quality clean time will be that you didn't do it sooner. God bless.

[longroad9785]

Out of 10+ withdrawal periods I experienced over 2+ years of use, one of them was successful. Sadly it involved a red-eye from LA to London, 2 weeks of constant walking and 16 hour days while traveling. Ya, I wd'd while taking a long, cheap trip through Europe. Looking back, it was great to be so uncomfortable simply from my surroundings that I didn't have time to really think about how I was in w/d.

The only tips I have for w/d are to get yourself a hobby or some project for those nights when you can't sleep. For me, it was refurbishing my collection of bass guitars. it started one night during one of the first wd periods I experienced. Most importantly it needs to be something that involves a good deal of thought and using your hands (if you're not too shaky that is). I took my bass guitars from needing serious love, to being worth a substantial amount of money and something I'll never let go of, even for another bottle of pills.

When I would go into w/d, I would find myself in the Rx aisle of my local drug store looking for any way out of the way I was feeling. Only immodium and vitamins work. I've still got a massive stash of different sleep aids that never worked, makes me laugh now that I'm almost clean and able to sleep like a baby.

Never goin back there.

[Robert_325]

longroad ... it's incredible how far you have come when you consider that you just made your first post on this forum in August. That is cool. Lots of progress in only a few months. You should be proud of yourself. God bless.