I don't know why I'm posting this, but oh well... I've been using drugs for the last fourteen years. I started drinking heavily right out of high school and smoking weed everyday, all day. About two years into that came the powdered
cocaine and then a few years later the ready rock replaced the powder for the most part. I guess I would call myself a heavy, heavy recreational dug user back in those days. Drugs were what I did for fun, entertainment, rewards etc. I never stole or anything like that. Though, from the time I started drinking, any type of mind altering substance I could get I'd use. I was functional - could hold jobs and didn't withdrawl from family, friends etc. I'd smoke pot during the days(when I could) and drink after work. That was the given. Then I'd go through stages of cocaine use. One year it was basically on the weekends the next I was hitting the pipe every night. The basic fact is that it never completely left. About four years ago I got a real steady connection in the suburbs for crack. I used to get any cocaine related products in the hoods of Philly and Camden and I'd go through stages where I didn't want to go near those places(which accounts for times when I didn't do much cocaine) to times where I'd walk the streets of N. Philly without a care( which indicates the times when I used heavily). Anyway with this new connection right in my suburban neighborhood it got to a steady point. I'd smoke anywheres from a dime to 12 dimes a day. Missing days here and there. That along with my daily weed and alcohol consumption. That was me, that's how I lived and I never really had any problems arise from it. If I didn't have money for rocks I didn't have the money and that was it. I started using pills more frequently three years ago. Percs, vics,
Xanax,
valiums, oxy's. I started to want the pills more and more because it took the bugging out aspect of the ready rock away and made coming down from the rock a breeze. A year ago I started sniffing dope(herion). This is the drug that makes everything else seem like child's play. It was fun at first. One dime from the ghetto would keep me high for almost two days(we have very pure smack here and hundreds of competing drug corners in the area that sell big dimes). I started last November and had an off and on relationship with dope. I'd use for a few weeks to a month, get sick stop and then start over. These early withdrawls weren't too bad. Totally lethargic, cold as hell, some shakiness, complete uncofortableness. Then last April I got pretty bad. I started running local dealers to Camden,NJ to pick up bundles so I'd get free bags. I started using at least five bags a day. Every day was a burden to get enough dope so I wouldn't get sick. As I said I'm not a thief.... so it wasn't easy but I always got it somehow. By the end of July I had had enough. I told my family and quit cold turkey. That was the worst week of my life. The dopesick episodes I had before paled in comparision to the withdrawls I went through at that time. God I can't even imagine what it's like for someone who shot the **** up for twenty years to kick. Anyways I stayed of of herion for two weeks, but I continued with everything else. For the past two months I've been in a cycle of doing dope for a couple days then the next couple days pop
methadone pills. At the present time, I have been using dope for the most consecutive days(seven) since I "quit." When I try not to use drugs I don't know what to do with myself. I'm completely bored. I guess doing drugs is what I live for. I just did a bag of dope two hours ago. I guess I'm hopeless. I didn't articulate this message too well for some reason I'm just not writing well today. Sorry.
Drugs - I can not stop 
Linear Mode
