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I had the most annoying dream last night! I've had a few drug dreams since I quit, but this one was really a doozy!
So I dreamed I was at my last job, and I had decided to go in and talk to my former boss and tell him about my drug problems. I was clean, but for some reason I wanted to tell my boss about my history. But first I had to go to the bathroom.... So I was on my way to the ladies', wondering if I was doing the right thing in talking to my boss, when I run across a woman who is selling pills. She's talking to someone else and showing her wares just like she was selling Tupperware, "here's the Soma, this is Tramadol, and this is heroin...." And I'm thinking "HEROIN?!?!?!? You can get heroin in PILL FORM?!?!?" And of course my first thought is "I should try it," closely followed by "you should definitely NOT try it."
So I walk past her into the ladies room. When I come out, I found that she's left behind some "samples," which is basically a mountain of various pills. Like handfuls of pills, different colors and shapes. And this is delightful, and I start scooping them up and carrying them into the bathroom so I can sort through them and decide which ones I want to keep. I'm hoping that a few of them will be opiates and looking especially for percs. But most of them I don't recognize, so I'm thinking "yeah, I can go online and identify them." I also think, "well, I could just take one and see what happens," then think "you know, you could really mess yourself up if you do that." Meanwhile, I'm supposed to go in and meet with my boss and tell him all about how I don't use drugs anymore....
I am really, really stressed right now in my life, so I'm sure that's partly what's behind this very vivid dream. It's amazing what's lurking in your unconscious! My shrink says drug dreams are pretty common, but this one was the most graphic one I've ever had. As if I'm not tired enough....
I remember drug dreams. In fact, I was plagued with them during the beginning of my journey to recovery. It *is* amazing what lurks in your subconcious!
Clean Date: 1-20-07
Wow, I actually pictured you in that dream. I could see me having that dream. I haven't had any drug dreams yet. Hope I don't..
I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.
LOL..sorry but that was funny...
I have had a few drug dreams since I quit, But the ones that get me are about smoking cigaretts...I wake up and think OH no I started smoking again...
I think that was harder to quit than the pills...At least till they came out with the chantix...
Have a good day, Melinda
Not to take away from Maisie's thread, but tell me a little about Chantix, Melinda. I've known people on it but unfortuntately NONE of them were successful. They said they had some very bizarre dreams.
Did you deal with anything like that? What about weight gain?
I need to quit and have thought about talking to my doctor about Chantix.
Clean Date: 1-20-07
I want to ditto this post. I'd love to quit.
Edited to show I meant the post above mine. Ah it's been a long day.
Originally Posted by lyds
Nice to hear from you...
OMG...LOL...I loved the dreams but mine were good dreams...
And the chantix works great it took me a little over a week to quit and I have relapsed on smoking so I just take the chantix again...
Its the sub med for cigaretts...LOL
And no weight gain but I'm on a high protein diet all the time.
I have a 19 year old son and he tried the chantix also..
he told me he felt so good when he was on it like a good anti depressant
and he had good dreams also...
Take care and talk to you soon, Melinda
Know what you mean
Maisie, I'm so sorry that dream happened to you. I'm 7 months off the opiates/pain pills (still on sub, tho) and I'm still having them. I really agree with you that some of it might be due to stress. I don't know about you, but in the old days, whenever I was stressed, it was time to take some "extras" to numb out, so I didn't have to deal with the stress.
Originally Posted by MaisieC
That's when I'm having them, too - during stressful times. I think it makes some kind of sense, if you used to handle stress like I used to, by adjusting your dose upward to deal with mental/emotional pain, maybe it's your subconscious trying to sort this out for you, showing you what a ridiculously bad idea it would be to go back to numbing out?
That's just how **I** think, but as we know, one size doesn't fit all. Just throwing an idea out there, hoping it might help.
Hi Melinda, no worries...it was funny, in a kind of sick way.
I reread my post, and what struck me was the way I used pronouns to describe my conversations with myself in the dream. When I want to use, it's *I* and when I'm telling myself not to, it's *you*. Which is just what Robert said about fighting against ourselves with this issue. Addiction really does split you in two. I recall relapsing and having these discussions with myself consciously: "I want to do this." "Yeah, but you'll be sorry." "No, I can handle it this time." "You know you can't handle it. You know that. Don't start again." "Oh shut up I'm going to do it anyway."
I guess we just have to listen to that good angel....
Originally Posted by MaisieC
Definitely gotta listen to that good angel (mine is my mom, she sits on my shoulder and shakes her finger at me, which was an "in joke" between her, Sis, and me).
The WOW! is: I never thought about it, but I do the same thing with the "split personality"! "You" is always the one trying to lead me down the wrong path, which makes sense, 'cause I wouldn't be comfortable if *I* was the "temptress"!
I don't know if there are any bipolar people here (if there are...Hi ) - I don't mean to cause offense, but I always thought of it as my "one pole" arguing with my "other pole" (of course bipolar isn't multiple personalities or schizophrenia; when I'm having a "good" day, tho, I can joke about it. Not on the bad days, tho).
Anyway, Maisie, thanks for helping me visualize this process; I'll bet we're not the only ones who do it!