[csheridan1610]

I would like to hear from anyone else who is in similar situations that there love ones have a addiction and if there finally taking that step to put there lives back on track...
My husband is addiciited to Oxycodone and marijiana, he has taking the next step to get help and has started the methadone program but he still gets Oxy's now and again and I have found out some things that I wish I didnt know. I kind of understand with the things that go on and how hard he has had it 5yrs ago he pulled 3 disc in his lower back and I do beleive that this is where this addiction has started from he works now but still puts his live on danger for this addiction. He had been hanging with wrong people. I do try and talk but it just ends up in a screaming match. I want to stand by him for better or for worse but it is hard when you have 3 kids to think about as well. Even though I do understand he his trying and it's not going to happen over night I am just a very worried person and always put the ones I love in front of me. PLS I would like to hear from anyone else who has a love on with an addiction...

[AzWickedCool]

I am sorry about your spouse. That does seem scary for you, plus I always thought that Methadone is a step up from oxycodone, not down.

If he is still taking percocets, maybe he is not ready yet. I would ask what his true intentions are.

Is he really trying to quit or is it lip service to keep you distracted while he gets to continue being an addict. That is not fair to the kids, or you. But ou get to choose him, kids don't get to choose their parents. Also, don't neccesarily put your loved ones in front of you, sometimes that is just a card people play to enable others and then always pull out the "I always put your needs first" card.

You need to put your needs first, it will keep you stable and if you are stable your kids will follow suit.

You don't get these years back, so stay productive.

Having said all that, I am an addict in recovery, but my mom and sister are in addiction I have had to dissociate from them because they tell me that they want to get better, but have never really. It is always the same lip service.

GOOD LUCK

[BeavisMom62]

Hi csheridan. Please keep checking back. There are quite a few people on this board with loved ones with addictions. We have mothers with addicted children, children with addicted parents and wives and husbands with addicted spouses. You will get lots of support here. God bless.

[tylerr]

He needs to lose the oxycodone hook up or prescription. Wherever he is getting that or metha.

he needs to have no way of obtaining these drugs. although marijuana is overrated, but it DOES cause damages to the brain, but if he is grown with a job that doesn't require much thinking he should be fine, I'm not saying he should do drugs, but marijuana is relativity easy to get off of, and the effects aren't TOO serious, i maintained 4.0 in my college years smoking 3-4 blunts a day. I'm not saying everyone is like this but if he is having pain, marijuana is a nice painkiller and relaxer.

by the way i do have a loved one addicted to crack, cocaine, heroine, and he is also an alcoholic, my 47 year old uncle. living from house to house, i only wish i could help him, but there is something everyone must know...
you can't help someone who doesnt want to be helped.

[intelmetal]

I have to tell you that switching from oxycodone to methadone is a major mistake. The only benefit to doing this is keeping him off the streets chasing pills. I made the mistake of going from hydro and oxy to methadone. Methadone is a long acting opiate, and a very powerful and addictive medication. It is almost always abused by the patient in one way or another. I started out at 30mgs methadone, and escalated to 360mgs in about 2 years. It took me 5 years of hell to taper back down to 20mgs to make the switch to suboxone. He should either taper down on the oxy to nothing or switch to subs and taper from there. How much oxy is he using per day ? If it is not to high of a dose he might do better off suffering for a week doing cold turkey. Get the ingredients for the Thomas Recipe and help him get through this 5-7 day detox, it is the fastest way to get your life back. Good Luck ! METHADONE IS EVIL !!!
IWANTOUT

to live my life and to be free !

P.S. If you want to speak to my wife, let me know. She has helped me a lot.

[csheridan1610]

Thank you for your replies.
It is hard, To hear many story's about methadone weather it's a good road or a bad road to go down it is confusing. My 3 beutaful children are my life and I do put them infront of me but there are days where my husband wont and it ********s me. There are days where my husband is great he his in such a great mood happy mood and hangs with the kids like he never use to but then there are the days where he will be tied and cranky he thinks it because he is working so hard and there are days I will agree burt most of the days are because of the methadone. As for the Oxy's well it's not everday like the marajiuana its only when he can get it. That is when things go sour because he would of had a great week on his methadone then he goes out and gets an Oxy thats when the arguing starts because really he doesnt need it if he has gone so well during the week why go and stuff it up with an Oxy? Thats what I dont understand to me and I hate to admite this but I think my husband is gutless. I hated saying that.I love him. But do I love him enough to be draged down with this as well?

[kathleen5hockey]

I have found when they are happy they are high, when they are crabby they are crashing and looking for more drugs. Read the forum "addiction-I can't understand." My daughter has been an addict for almost 3 yrs. No one can tell you when or if you should leave. Please have your eyes open, mine were blinded by love for the first 2 yrs. Good luck and keep writing here, it really helps.

[Lost83]

csheridan1610,

My husband is an addict in recovery, currently in his 6th month of inpatient rehab. This past weekend marked 1 year from when I found out he was addicted to opiates. Pretty devastating I know. One thing I have learned in the past year is the only person I have control over is myself and I am chosing not to live the lifestyle of a wife to a lying manipulative active addict.

If he isn't serious about staying clean and he isn't suffering any consequences because of his drug abuse then what reason does he have to stop? Plus having 3 kids in the house while he is taking oxy and smoking pot is a huge no no, your kids could be taken away in a heartbeat if he ever got busted. My husband got busted with a roxi while driving my then 10 month old son home from his dealers house at 9 am on a Sunday morning, I had CPS all over me for 4 months. The worst experience of my life. Since then my husband has not be allowed to take our son anywhere without a family member being there as well. No way would I ever allow him to jeopardize my sons well being and my custodial rights as a parent and ultimately his protector. My son comes first no matter what.

Take a step back and look at what he is doing, pull yourself out of the situation and imagine if your children grow up and their significant other treated them the way you are being treated and if those were your grandbabies in that house. Looking from a different perspective gives us the opportunity to take the emotional aspect out of the situation and allows us to get a clearer look into what almost seems to be an obvious answer, you use, you lose your home and family. if you really want to get clean then take your recovery seriously and I will stand by your side 110%. I know it's easier said then done, it took me 6 months of insanity to finally decide I had enough. Good luck, take care of your babies, don't allow him to jepordize
your childrens safety.

[kathleen5hockey]

Lost, you bring up a valide point. DCF investigated my family because my daughter is the addict. It is a terrible feeling having strangers going thru you home, asking alot of questions, trying to verify that you are a good parent, going to court, etc. Think of your children and you, always put you first before the addict. Don't take the chance of loosing your kids because of the husband.

[husband1]

My husband admitted he has been taking my pills behind my back, I have been on oxycodone 30 mg twice daily for about 2 years now. Sometimes I came up short and I knew I was taking them exactly how my doctor prescribed, but I would ask my husband and he would tell my I was crazy, that I must have miscounted etc. But last week he admitted he had been taking them for the past year. He was crying and very upset, he stopped them abruptly, today it has been 7 days since he has had a pill, he told me he was taking 2 per day. Last night he tried to get me to give him one pill, said he needed it because the withdrawals were bad. Could they really be that bad after 7 days, or is he just trying to bul******** me again!! I am very worried about him, I want my husband back!

[Lost83]

I don't personally know about the w/d's but from my experience with my husband detoxing cold turkey from a 2 year roxi habit, his physical w/d's lasted about a week. It took much longer for his sleeping patterns to return to normal. The first 3 days were the worst then it got better everyday. If he is complaining about severe withdrawal after 7 days then I would say he is blowing smoke. Just my opinion but I would be very cautious. The other possibility is that he hasn't been clean for 7 days and is just starting to go through withdrawals. What are his symptoms?

[mottam]

c1610:
I would have to agree w/ Lost on this one w/ respect to the w/d duration. I am no expert. However, I just went through it, and by day 7, the worst of the physical stuff SHOULD be over. People are different though...

Anyway, AS a father and husband who is addict, I can only say that this ******** will NOT end until he is ready to do it for himself.
I use to be in good moods/bad moods - making my family walk on eggshells at times. It is/was totally unfair - I realize that now.

What I am trying to say is that now my family seems/IS so much happier. Even though I still feel like messed up emotionally, it appears to be 1000X better to them. My children have more bounce in their steps, and my wife and I are getting along much better -

In the end, he needs to change for him - the rest will "fall" into place.

Best of luck - post as often as you need to.

Kindest Regards

[husband1]

Well, physically I saw that he some sweats at night, and he told me that he was very nervous and couldn't relax.... I really thought the physical part was done... but as I said last night he tried to talk me into giving him a pill, and truthfully I cannot afford to give him any..... I refuse to start it up again.... he was crying last night.... is this more an emotional thing now???? What in the world do I do for him???

[mottam]

Originally Posted by husband1

Well, physically I saw that he some sweats at night, and he told me that he was very nervous and couldn't relax.... I really thought the physical part was done... but as I said last night he tried to talk me into giving him a pill, and truthfully I cannot afford to give him any..... I refuse to start it up again.... he was crying last night.... is this more an emotional thing now???? What in the world do I do for him???

Stick by him as much as possible.
Hold his hand if you have to.
DO NOT ENABLE HIM BY GIVING IN AND LETTING HIM USE!!!

The emotional stuff is normal - I am speaking as someone with 31 days clean and on that very same emotional roller coaster.

Good luck!

[Lost83]

Exercise helped my hubby with the depression. Bike rides, swimming, taking our son for walks. It helps the brain to start producing the chemicals that make you feel good, I think it's dopamine that your body stops producing when you abuse opiates. Don't quote me, but I think that's what it is. I am sure someone with a little more knowledge will stumble by and be able to give you more detailed information about it.

[husband1]

Thanks for all your responses, I thought I was going to lose it....

[bev49]

It just dawned on me that earlier in the thread, the poster stated that her husband is now on a methadone. There is NO WAY he can be having any pill w/d's if he's on methadone which is stronger than any pill. And I don't trust this 7 days later thing. Either he's not really taking methadone, is not really clean 7 days of is just b'sing and conning for a pill. Either way not a good situation. Steve (Intel), you know I have the utmost respect for me and think very highly of you. You are one of my numero uno people on here BUT I don't agree with the blanket statement "Methadone is Evil". Depending on the situation, it can and does save lives. I don't know at all if its necessary in this situaiton, probably is not, but there are a whole lot of people who needed and will continue to need methadone as a tool on their personal road to recovery. Husband 1, what Lost said is so on the money. Listen well. Take that step back and assess your situation. In the long run, your kids (and yourself) need to become before a manipulating drug addict.

[Lost83]

Bev,

Husband1 didn't say her hubby was on Methadone, that was a different member that originally created this thread, sorry for the confusion.

[bev49]

Oh boy, Lost... You are quite right. I took 2 posters, turned them into one and got confused. LOL. Its either add the dead brain cells from past drug use or just plain age related dementia. In any case, sorry I confused things. I still say, your post was a really very good one, Lost.

[Lost83]

Thanks Bev!

[husband1]

Whew!!! I glad we got that straightened out.... I work for Pain Management Physicians, and I know that while Methadone can help, you still need to be very cautious with it, it too can be addicting. I hope my husband is in a better frame of mind when I get home from work today...He tells me that this is all he thinks about, it consumes his thoughts all day.....

[husband1]

One more question..... as I said I have been taking these meds for 2 years now, the pain I have is daily.... I do not get any kind of buz or feelings of a high or whatever.... what is the big deal for him, I don't really understand what is pulling him toward these stupid pills!!!