Did you feel weak and still kinda tired even past a month clean?

[cryin out]

I am not quite a month, I just know next Friday I get my 30 day chip if I continue clean(which I plan too). I still feel tired, not like a week ago, but weak too, like it is hard to stand long periods of time. My sleep returned this week so this is physical weakness not sleep issues now. I am doing excercises to work my muscles but I am still not quite right in that respect. And did you all crave chocolate? Thanks and hope you all are having a great week

[MaisieC]

Hi cryin out,

I don't know your particular story, but my answer is "yes!" That's completely normal. As long as you're making gradual improvement, you're doing well.

It's all a matter of perspective. When we're using and just getting clean, 30 days feels like forever. But when you think about it, a month isn't really that long for your body to recover from 1) the abuse, however long that went on, and 2) the detox, which brings insomnia and other problems. Your body has been through the wringer, and it's going to take some time to recover. I used to wonder if I would ever feel better.

Keep exercising, sleeping as well as you can, and eating well, and your strength and energy will return. I didn't crave chocolate (any more than usual), but I think you're allowed a few sweets right now.

Hang in there!
Maisie

[shadowwally]

Yup cryin'....
gets better gradually.
I craved vegetables for some reason!
Hang in there.
If your sleep is back so soon you are so totally on your way!!!!
Marian

[flatsman444]

Hi cryin , thanks for the encouragement you gave me on my thread. Hey that tired thing ? It actually was instrumental in my second relapse . I was clean for 58 days , the longest period of sobriety in the last seven years. I couldnt get over that energy rush I used to get from the Hydrocodone . Then I started to get a little anxious and yada yada. But if you learn each time to recognize these symptoms for what they are. You will realize that they cant defeat you when you know what they are. The lead suit syndrome may take some time yet to go away. If your sleeping that is huge. Your doing the right things , eat well , exercise and get plenty of sleep. Someone said one month seems an eternity when your first getting clean . Think about it . How long were you using drugs? We all have to be careful not to expect that feeling normal is going to be all fireworks and hoopla .Im not preaching to you as much as I am reminding MYSELF . Congrats to you and the energy will come back .

[ClassiqueMom]

congrats!!!! major!! congrats!! cryin'out! you are doing SUPER!!!

soooo glad you are exercising! the benefits of that will just "suddenly" one day
kick in!..

DO drink LOTS of water! as much as, what will make you run to the potty every hour! it WILL make a difference in feeling better!

and how's about some of those B vitamins? they're good for energy!

hang in there! spring is on it's way, and you'll be a brand new you!
(wellll... you already are! .. but you'll be an even-better-brand-new-you!

remember, it's not an event, it's a process..

more! congrats! girl! you! deserve! it!

Classique MoM

[flatsman444]

Good advice from Classiquemom . Do everything you can for your health. You are an inspiration to us all Cryinout , good luck to you going forward . As I say , " what other choice is there ? ".

[cryin out]

Thanks everyone, and CMom, I want to tell you that my pain level is hardly anything but it took a good three weeks to actually understand that. Just sharing for your situation with your family member. He may still have it and I still may as well, but I took good inventory before stopping so that I might try to figure out the triggers in my life that cause the pain, because for me it was I think, picking up heavy heavy things and now that I have had cancer treatment, the pelvis cannot deal with that as it use to, so I have to change my typical work habits and see if I am right on this. The encouragement of others that deal with pain helped me decide to stick it out enough to see, and some days are harder than others but 2 days in a row I needed no over the counter pain releif. So I do now beleive pain meds actually can create pain over and over when taken long term.
Just some ideas that I have been pondering, of course we cannot make your family member do anything, but if the conversation ever comes up, you know another person that has experienced less pain, but it takes awhile after quitting before that happens.
And I do take b's, and other supplements as well to help this process, because I can bet when those of us that have been taking opiates come off, we are probably starved for nourishment. There is no way with the sluggish digestive I had that I got everything I needed, especially since I did not eat much then.

I also agree on the body going through the wringer because I have been eating so much food and not gaining. This is a period of grace for me because if I ate the things I have been eating lately, I would be gaining rapidly. So there must be alot of work going on in the body to burn that for me anyway...for now. Next week I may not be so lucky and will have to watch what I eat.

Flats you are doing great. I know we just gotta walk through it all because we have no choice if we want to be clean. And we do, so keep walking!!! There are people that we have to help hold us up on the hard days so keep posting.

[ClassiqueMom]

hi cryin'out!

thank you soooo much! for the additional update, re: your pain!
bless you!

and really! don't forget the water! it sooo helps flush out toxins..
it's such a hard thing to make yourself do, (unless, of course, you're a water drinking type of person to begin with ) ..
but! it DOES make a difference!

(nuttin' like forcing yourself to do just one more thing, eh?)

{{hugs}} and thanx! again!

Classique MoM

[flatsman444]

Hi there Cryin out . Thanks for the kind words on my thread. How are you? Are you still clean ? Your last post was 01/29 as far as I can tell . Keep going one day at a time. Its so worth it.

[cryin out]

I have been posting away the past few days, going through a sad time and keeping strong through the forums and support groups here.
But I did not post much for awhile, because for me, it was hard to read about drugs all the time. I suppose there will come times I dont want to keep drugs so in the forefront of my mind again and may not post, but I will always come back to this place. I was here 8 months before I got clean. It is kinda like home, the first place I could begin talking about my struggle. I was still in denial about addiction however until shortly before I got clean. Duh! Yeah, how could I not admit that to myself, but I just could not.
Doing good today tho, the sadness broke yesterday, I have been on the boards alot this week as I went through that struggle, to keep accoutnability and ideas of positive things to do, and also be part of other peoples lives that are working their stuff out too. And I miss Robert, Reid, Metal Duck, Shyla, Maisie, Catrina, Denny, Mottam, Azul, Moon, You, Classique Mom (our cheerleader, I love her) and all the others that spoke into my life when I was trying to find my way. Some of those times, I was slapped with reality in my face...it was not always love and hugs here. But those times got me to realize how unmanageable I had become.

I am so proud of you Flats for reaching your longest time clean, bro. You never left the forums, and kept on, and KEEP ON, helping others.
So let me ask you, was your first 30 days about the longest month of your life you can remember? lol my gosh, every day was so strange, so long, I was not myself, exhausted but new better than to take naps or I'd be up all night, and I would look at the clock and go, OH MY GOSH, it is only 2 p.m. I still have 8 hours to get through before I can even think of bedtime..
Knowing how to pace my days was kinda hard for me the first 30 days, I have to admit. My work was so slow too so I was not focused on that. January was the slowest month on record. and it was cold and wet outside alot too. How was your first month?

[donesub]

I have been posting away the past few days, going through a sad time and keeping strong through the forums and support groups here.
But I did not post much for awhile, because for me, it was hard to read about drugs all the time. I suppose there will come times I dont want to keep drugs so in the forefront of my mind again and may not post, but I will always come back to this place. I was here 8 months before I got clean. It is kinda like home, the first place I could begin talking about my struggle. I was still in denial about addiction however until shortly before I got clean. Duh! Yeah, how could I not admit that to myself, but I just could not.
Doing good today tho, the sadness broke yesterday, I have been on the boards alot this week as I went through that struggle, to keep accoutnability and ideas of positive things to do, and also be part of other peoples lives that are working their stuff out too. And I miss Robert, Reid, Metal Duck, Shyla, Maisie, Catrina, Denny, Mottam, Azul, Moon, You, Classique Mom (our cheerleader, I love her) and all the others that spoke into my life when I was trying to find my way. Some of those times, I was slapped with reality in my face...it was not always love and hugs here. But those times got me to realize how unmanageable I had become.

I am so proud of you Flats for reaching your longest time clean, bro. You never left the forums, and kept on, and KEEP ON, helping others.
So let me ask you, was your first 30 days about the longest month of your life you can remember? lol my gosh, every day was so strange, so long, I was not myself, exhausted but new better than to take naps or I'd be up all night, and I would look at the clock and go, OH MY GOSH, it is only 2 p.m. I still have 8 hours to get through before I can even think of bedtime..
Knowing how to pace my days was kinda hard for me the first 30 days, I have to admit. My work was so slow too so I was not focused on that. January was the slowest month on record. and it was cold and wet outside alot too. How was your first month?

You don't know how much good this does for folks. It helps knowing that other people experience the same thing and are still making it. I still have a day now and then that is looooooong, especially when weather is bad, trapped inside. My mornings were super rough for about 35 days. Recently morning blues barely registers if at all. The first month to month and a half are weird.....like re-learning everything, seems negative at first, then some of lifes beautiful positives start hammering away at the negatives and soon you notice much more good days than bad. The good days become easier to expect and look forward to.
It almost seems like a sliding scale, like the first month the scale barely moves and notable improvement barely moves then as at the month and a half two month period the improvement scales slide really fast and more stable. I can only imagine what months 3-6 will feel like!!!!!! Like presents to be opened every day.

[cryin out]

Donesub, right on! How far along are you in your recovery? I know each of us is different. I remember some people would say on day 5, I feel like the energizer bunny. I would be like WTH? What is my problem. I can hardly move and battling internal issues like crazy.
If only I had diarrhea in detox like everyone else, I would feel better right now...lol
I thought that!
I am over 60 days clean, and to be honest some days I drag a bit, but it is nothing like that first month. I was super slow to heal, I guess. How are you feeling now?
My son is in jail and I asked him how long it took him to feel balanced out and he said about 3 months. I think for many of us it is a slow and long process, and age and amount of abuse probably plays into it as well.
But I look at it this way. When I had a major surgery 5 years ago, it took me quite awhile to be bouncing up and doing things normally. In fact you cannot drive for a few weeks after that surgery, that is the instructions. Why would addiction be any different? The body is relearning to take care of itself and heal the wounds we created, and it takes time.
I hope you are patient with yourself, as I have to be. I don't beleive at all that we are just slacker losers that don't feel like doing what we use to do, but that we still need more healing time. I bet you are doing far more now than at first. So if you want to share what you are experiencing, I woudl love to hear about it

[dago77]

Hi cryin out,

Lots of times after I got clean within a week or two I felt totally fine.

The last few times I've went through this it's taken me longer to bounce back. Maybe it has something to do with using subs, I'm really not sure. I just know before it was easier and after about 10 days I was back on my feet doing well. That's why I'm always telling the new people who haven't used that long and haven't been through this 20 times to do it now! It doesn't get any easier! They don't get it and they don't have to if they can do this one time and never look back.

I was laughing about us being slacker losers lol sometimes those thoughts will run through my head actually. I just think like, man are you ever gonna be a normal productive dude again or what!!

A lot of people came before us and used more and for even longer. We'll bounce back...it just takes time. All we can do is try to help things along with taking care of ourselves for now.

The slacker loser thing was pretty funny though. As Im sitting here at home missing another day of work lol. All I can do is just hope tomorrow is a better day and keep pushing through. Things have to get better at some point right!

Ryan

[MaisieC]

Hi fellow slacker losers

I think this is a really important thing to talk about.

I didn't feel right for MONTHS after I got clean. I had gained weight, I was completely out of shape, I had little strength, little stamina. I used to wonder if I would EVER feel good again. I do--I feel GREAT--but it took months.

So many people come on this board so full of hope. They want to know if they'll feel better tomorrow. The next day? In two days? In a week? People want to know what supplements they can take to make them feel better...right away! People think they're having PAWS if they don't feel great within two or three weeks.

I think part of it is our addict immediate-gratification mindset. We want to feel good NOW. I think another part of it is that detox can be so scary and miserable we want a promise of hope...fast.

I feel really reluctant to dash people's hopes by telling them the truth--it could be months before you feel good again. I don't want people to give up and relapse. But the truth is, it can really take a while. And Ryan is SO right that the more times you go through it, the worse and harder it gets.

Just think of what you've done to your poor body and brain. I think the surgery analogy is a really good one. We've damaged ourselves. We don't heal instantly. It stands to reason it's going to be a while before you're 100% again. But you will be. It takes patience and faith and taking good care of yourself.

Hang in there, everyone. Get through it day to day, take care of yourself, and one day pretty soon you'll look up and say, "hey, I feel great!"

Maisie

[flatsman444]

We are all different when it comes to feeling " NORMAL " . But for me the turning point for pretty much ALL symptoms was around day 45 . Man , when the anxiety left , I felt like a new man. These drugs are ever present in our minds as addicts . We can only go day by day till we really dont think about them much any more. But 30 days 60 days , its not a long time to get to NORMAL . But when you get there , it sure is a nice place. Its a much nicer place than counting pills. You dont need them if you dont want them. Do this for yourself and loved ones.

[donesub]

Donesub, right on! How far along are you in your recovery? I know each of us is different. I remember some people would say on day 5, I feel like the energizer bunny. I would be like WTH? What is my problem. I can hardly move and battling internal issues like crazy.
If only I had diarrhea in detox like everyone else, I would feel better right now...lol
I thought that!
I am over 60 days clean, and to be honest some days I drag a bit, but it is nothing like that first month. I was super slow to heal, I guess. How are you feeling now?
My son is in jail and I asked him how long it took him to feel balanced out and he said about 3 months. I think for many of us it is a slow and long process, and age and amount of abuse probably plays into it as well.
But I look at it this way. When I had a major surgery 5 years ago, it took me quite awhile to be bouncing up and doing things normally. In fact you cannot drive for a few weeks after that surgery, that is the instructions. Why would addiction be any different? The body is relearning to take care of itself and heal the wounds we created, and it takes time.
I hope you are patient with yourself, as I have to be. I don't beleive at all that we are just slacker losers that don't feel like doing what we use to do, but that we still need more healing time. I bet you are doing far more now than at first. So if you want to share what you are experiencing, I woudl love to hear about it

I have been doing ok with minimal stuff going on. I feel like my sleep is still very light and some depression. I guess the depression stuff is the last of the screamin meanies. I feel like a lazy bum some times then I have moments of drive and stability. I took Subs for seven years so I think allowing some healing time is in order, its just the guilt of not being able to be productive as I need to be is wearing on me. Overall it seems to get easier as time passes but it is SLOW.... I am at 2 months and some change so I hope to have a breakthrough month in month 3.

[JayOmatic]

Im at like day 40 something off methadone and day like 9 or 10 off of vicodens and I feel horrible last few days. I hope it gets better soon. Ive had a ok day but mostly no energy.

Omatic

[cryin out]

Maisie, so glad you popped on the thread. love when you post! Thank you for the clarity. Some days I am not all there still, I admit. I am also doing 12 step and diving into my childhood memories is painful, but I want to do it. I honestly have practically written a book, as a memory comes when I am puttering around, I get my notebook and write it out. I was always good at stuffing and not communicating, therefore drugs made it easier for me, and that is what I see so far and I am only in the fifth week. My battle is sadness, with the memories, I think. And I also think that slows me down some too. But I still think the 12 step is important, despite my reaction has been hard.
I am in a situation where I can get more restful times if needed, so I am lucky there. And I still sometimes beat myself up feeling like a loser or a slacker...lol We are sometimes so hard on ourselves! And yes, we are use to instant GO GO or NUMB and GO. THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing that part of you. I totally understand how sharing our personal truth could scare someone and discourage them to relapse. But then again, if we really want this, I feel that knowledge has been alot of power for me. So the truth is what it is, and when we know that it can be a long road, I think it helps. So thanks again. I may be one of those people!

Done Sub, I can only imagine, as what I have read is that subs are incredibly powerful. Somehow I never had seen one, they just were not around me ever, so I had not heard about them until here. I think of Robert and Denny and others who made it through on them, so I know if you hang in there, it will happen. So glad you are hanging tough!!! Keep posting when you need to for sure.

Ryan, you get down on yourself too I see. I bet many of us do, and as Maisie said, we expect instant relief somehow, that often does not come as we are wanting. But yes, I just know I feel better now than I did. But not really what I was before my consumption, so really I cannot complain, but I do, to myself!!! lol It will get better, and we have all the forerunners proving it to us time and time again Thank goodness for them!

Flats, you keep on man. I love that anxiety is non existant or minimal for you. I remember that was your hard part, and mine to so I could relate. I could not even drink coffee the first couple weeks the anxiety was so bad. I love coffee (and that too I often wish would make me feel the relief I want, and it does not at all do what I hope it will) but that is another story

[shadowwally]

YIKES!!!!!
No coffee???
hard to recognize you from your first post til now!
The value of the thread.....you can read back and see how far you have come

[cryin out]

I am too embarrassed to read my former posts because I was a mess for sure!!!!
I thought I would have a breakdown at one point, lost and confused bad!!!
That was before I quit, just tapering....jeepers! Cold turkey was better for me by far.

Ahem....I wish I COULD say not so much coffee now...lol I can tell I drink too much these days. But my anxiety level was bad when at first getting clean, it would send me into panic immediately, so I could not drink it. I wondered if I would ever enjoy it again, and YES, I do, too much But one thing at a time here for me Good to see you Shadowwally

[shadowwally]

cryin...
I still get embarrassed sometimes when i see how much i put out there, but it got me where i am today. It helps me immensely now to read what i went through when times get tough.
yea....coffee, love it!

[HenryNCBA]

Good afternoon Cryin Out,
I just wanted to add a little something that should help keep things in perspective. First is as of last November 11th I past my 2 year clean mark. After getting clean it took me months for everything to settle down and iron itself out. Sleep and emotions where the last things to straighten out. What many don’t realize is while we are all trying to figure out why this and why that when we become addicted to something we go through physical and mental changes. Our bodies and minds physically change and our emotions and thoughts also change as well and the two coincide with each other. Okay we know this and this is nothing new but to take it a step further this all happens down at the cellular level on the physical side. Brain cells, liver cells, muscles, bones, everything so it stands to reason that since things change at that level that once we become clean things do not transform back to original form over night. Some cells such as red blood cells average about 3 to 4 months before they are recycled, liver cells about 5 months or so, and other cells vary as well. So taking this into account it all affects how we feel physically and mentally. Until we rejuvenate and things are restored as should be down at the cellular level over all things are not back to so called normal until about that time. Emotions of course can last longer or shorter depending on one’s own psychological state. Environmental stress factors also play a major roll in how we feel.
All too often when we are so called clean of what ever substance we were addicted to we expect immediate change. Biologically it doesn’t work that way. Would be nice if it did but it doesn’t. There are a lot of questions asked also if things like eating right and exercising are beneficial to feeling better. You can bet on that as a healthy and strong body is a happy body as the saying goes. It helps boost natural feel good chemicals naturally produced so take those vitamins, eat right, exercise and do all the good stuff we are supposed to do as it is good for a reason and it will help cut down recovery time as well.
Hope that information helps a little.
You are doing great! I have been posting much as of late but have been on here reading here and there and you do know that you are awesome right?
Hang in there. Never give up. Always go forward. No retreat no surrender. Life does get better and it can be as great as you want it to be.

Henry

[ClassiqueMom]

hi henry! .. my heart is a smilin' to see you here!!

belated congrats!! too, on the 2 yr mark!

you're such a blessing to many here! and it's so good to 'see' you!

i know your wisdom and compassion has made a difference to sooooo many!!

God Bless
Classique MoM

[HenryNCBA]

hi henry! .. my heart is a smilin' to see you here!!

belated congrats!! too, on the 2 yr mark!

you're such a blessing to many here! and it's so good to 'see' you!

i know your wisdom and compassion has made a difference to sooooo many!!

God Bless
Classique MoM

Hi Classique MoM!
Thank you so much for the complements but it is everyone else that are the blessings and I am the one that am fortunate.
You are right I haven't been on here for a while. Been dealing with a lot of work related issues and there were other reasons I wasn't on here as well but I am back now. Well as much as possible anyway
I've been doing a lot of reading trying to catch up on what is going on here. Lots of new folks are here and it is also great to see folks like you are still here too. You have gone through SOOOOOOOOO much yourself and have come so very far and I am proud of ya!!! I always knew you could do it and had it in you but when we are in the middle of things and that dark rain cloud is hovering over our heads all the time it is very difficult to see around us and what we do see we pick and chose those things also and usually it reflects how negative we are feeling and it shows.
How have you been? I mean seriously are you hanging in there okay? Emotional pain I always thought is the hardest thing to ever overcome. Physical is one thing but, for me anyway, emotional is unlike physical where as physical we can actually feel, identify, sometimes see it and deal with it accordingly. Emotional on the other hand man that hurts like heck! Rips us apart literally and unlike a physical pain where we can take something for or work on the source of the pain the mental aspect is so tough to deal with as we can’t tack it up on the wall and throw darts at it to pop them like balloons to win a prize like at the fair. Ever feel hungry then when food is in front of you don’t feel like eating? Want company but when people are around you try to hide because you don’t want to be around them? Always tired but have trouble sleeping and keep waking up all during the night so many times for seemingly no reason that in the morning you really are a zombie? Sit in front of any kind of work and try as you might just can’t focus on it? The only safe place it seems is at home but there in lays another battle front. Oh boy what to do what to do….. For all that turmoil you have gone through here you are today stronger than ever and feeling beat up but won’t give in and won’t give up. You have my respect for sure and admiration there!
Thanks for the welcome back! I have made so many great friends here and when I tell my other friends and others they kind of look at me strange as they roll their eyes because to the non involved they have no clue of what we addicts and those that have to associate with addicts, often not by their own personal choice, have to go through and on a drug forum of all places but that shows how naive and complacent the non involved are. This is what makes everyone here and you vastly superior to the general masses of people out there because we all care. We all try our best to fight a demon that is hard to knock off. In fact it can never be put down. Only locked up and out of the way which is different for an enemy in a war. There are way more variables to deal with going through what we all here do and even that little bit of knowledge we learn and experience we experience puts us light years ahead of the masses. NEVER look down upon yourself for YOU ROCK!!!
Have yourself a wonderful day!!!

Henry

[ClassiqueMom]

cryin' out..

how u doin' ??

keeping you in thoughts and prayers!

Classique MoM