Thank you in advance to anyone that reads this. I will make this as short as possible. It's so hard with so much going on and so many years of this....

This is about my brother in law. Let's call him Steven. He is 49 years old, single, no children & a recovering heroic addict, alcoholic, he beat both, & now his drug of choice is prescription pain pills. Yes, he has transferred one addiction to another with long periods of sobriety in between.

My husband and I are 40, have 2 young children & have been taking Steven in for 12 years on & off. I've finally convinced my husband we've been enabling all these years, and we cannot help him if he doesn't want help. We've been to AA & NA and been through the ringer with him.

Underneath he is a highly educated & talented & loving person. Until he goes on a drug binge. He's never stolen from us! He's never threatened or physically hurt us...he is just addicted to his drugs/pills and doesn't want to stop. We've had numerous hospital visits, doctors appts, homeless episodes, etc...we've been through it all...it appears there is no rock bottom.

My husband feels extreme tough love is not the answer. He feels he cannot turn his back on his brother and we should never quit trying to help him. Hubby & I are very close and a true team but this has taken a strain on our marriage but I am committed to him and don't want to turn my back on my husband when he needs my support the most. He will not allow his brother to live with us while he is using, EVER, but it breaks his heart to leave his brother on the street. It's so painful, such a horrible situation to be in for both. We are really struggling.

OK- you have some history. Current problem: Here goes!
Steven has HIV, Hep B & C and is on medicare. We live in SOUTH FLORIDA. Yes, the pain clinic, pill mill capital! His primary care doctor is through a public health care place for HIV patients, with a pharmacy attached.

One year ago Steven was living independently, holding down a job, leaving us alone and doing his own thing. It was determined by his doctor that an old accident injury needed to be operated on. He had 2 vertibrae replaced in his neck. Painful surgery, needed drugs for a few days/neckbrace, all should have been fine.
This type of situation for a drug addict is deadly. Of course he got hooked again. He's been using on and off for a year, he doesn't work, have no clue where he gets the money b/c we don't give him any. He uses several different pharmacies, somehow gets scripts whenever he needs them..we have no idea.....

Fast forward to this summer. We get the dreaded call. A nurse in a hospital. Steven is using drugs again, he's been living on the street for weeks, walked in street, got hit by a car and was in hospital and has walked out against medical advice and discharged himself. Nurse called to tell us, he was 1/2 naked with no belongings in life whatsoever. NOT ONE THING but the clothes on his back. He had lost everything, looked horrific and was a true pathetic mess. It broke our hearts, we were devastated and took him in to clean him up and take care of him "one more time" hoping this would be his rock bottom.

After three weeks of being here, he looked terrific, his skin was clear, he was back to his old self, was looking for a job, put on almost 15 pounds which he needed, and then one day he went out, took a bus to Ft. Lauderdale, and then started acting funny each day after that. We picked up on it right away- he was using again, but not something that would make you truly high like crazy, hoping to keep it from us- essentially bringing drugs into our house again. I had brought him to the doctor in Ft. Lauderdale for all his viral meds and although I checked the bags, somehow he also got 2 bottles of pills, which we took from him. That day too they had him go to a hospital near me for an MRI and xray on his neck. This is test ONE. Details later.

Had the usual screaming, yelling, pleading, threatening to kick him out TALK and that's always followed by I'm sorries, tears, and brotherly love...blah, blah, blah....He broke down and told us while homeless and getting hit by the car, the hospital that night told him he broke his neck again. That is why he needs the drugs because he is in pain.

He was good for a few days and then this Monday he went for a paper. Was walking to get the paper and never returned. (Years ago we'd have called every police station, ER etc...but no more, we just wait, because we know) and sure enough, Tuesday afternoon I get a call from a nurse at a hospital, he's there, he was picked up by police, found behind a restaurant on the ground, in his underwear and t-shirt ONLY, completely incoherent! He told them it was 1979! He remained that way from Tuesday till Thursday night! How much drugs can you take that is stays in your system that long????

By last night- the doctor on call had him baker acted- he was moved to the adjacent hospital, he's there for 72 hours!He's screaming yelling, telling them he was told after the last hospital visit that his neck was broken again from getting hit by a car. He's crying to us on the phone as to why he's there, he's freaking out, he's manipulative, giving all the best guilt trips, he's a candidate for an academy award with the drama. We know it's the drugs talking, he's also detoxing, and I am sure it's painful and scary being in there.....we are not falling for it although I know it's tearing my husband apart.

Spoke to the doctor at the hospital where he was brought this time. They gave him an MRI and an xray and they said his neck is NOT BROKEN WHATSOEVER! They see his surgery, they see the problems he had, but they say it's ALL intact and perfect.

Steven called after being baker acted to scream at us to go into the guest room where his things are, and pull out the medical report from TEST ONE (from above) and he said it will prove he has a broken neck. We went and got it and it clearly states his neck is NOT BROKEN! His doctor was given a copy of this report too.

That's two separate hospitals, giving the same tests twice in a month period and both show no broken neck.

THIS MORNING- we call the doctors office and got the name from the pill bottle. Told Steven we were calling- he screamed that he would never speak to us again if we got involved in his medical stuff. We ignored him. The doctors assistant called us back. They claim they had no idea Steven was a drug addict. Seriously, he's been homeless and totally looks and acts like an addict. They are lying! Then they say they have no idea why two different very reputable hospitals tests show the neck is not broken and they said IT IS BROKEN and they have records to prove it???? This doctor is stating the neck is broken, they also say he was scheduled for another neck surgery and it should have been two days ago but Steven never showed up for it? It's the first we are hearing about him needing another surgery???

This doctor claims the next is broken, this is the same doctor prescribing all these pain pills, and I think the entire thing is a lie, I think this doctor is a fake, I think he's using Steven and feeding his addiction and using all this for medicare fraud!

I think they know damn well Steven is an addict. Steven is screaming that all he wants is to call his doctor, and he trusts and respects this man. I don't buy any of it. Steven just wants his drugs!

I think they have him so hooked he can no longer make sound decisions for himself. My biggest question here or reason for reaching out to you all is--- what the heck are we supposed to do? We are starting to believe that yes, he was a drug addict in the past. He was recovering, taking it one day at a time and in a sober period in his life. He had the surgery a year ago and fell back into the trap and these doctors are feeding into his addiction and using him. What if Steven is so far gone he doesn't want help which he doesn't, but isn't it our job to step in and take control and try to save him from himself? Shouldn't we get a lawyer and try to prove these doctors are part of the pill mill? They are ruining his life and keep writing scripts which he fills in THEIR pharmacy! Can't an attorney subpoena his records? Can't we try to prove that somebody is lying here? Two hospitals say no broken neck, one does? Now Steven is mentally gone from all these drugs, even on good sober days he suffers from anxiety now, he's depressed, he's in "pain", he can't get a job???

We don't know where to turn to, who to turn to? If they release him tomorrow night, we wanted to bring him here to recover, but we know if we let him see this doctor again, he'll get more drugs. We don't know what to do. If we let him check himself out after the 72 hours, he will just walk away from the hospital, go right down to downtown Ft. Lauderdale, and become homeless again and use again...or should we step in, call Medicare, call the police? Try to have him committed somewhere? He will then become a danger to himself again all because of the drugs. AND- all these times he's in the hospital, they always release him or he walks out while still intoxicated. It's crazy.

I hope this makes sense. We are at our wits end with this already. We don't know if we should just say "we are done" he's an adult, he can't be helped until HE HIMSELF wants help, or if he truly needs our help because he can't think straight for himself anymore? I blame the doctor.

We love him, we want what's best for him. The thought of him showering in the ocean, living on a park bench is repulsive. I am actually a homeless advocate and volunteer and here I am, living with a family member first hand. How can I volunteer and help others, and not help my own family.......I am so lost over this.

Thank you so much for listening! I appreciate any responses.