Desperate for help!

[BellaHope]

So glad to have found this site. Praying I don't feel like a freak after admitting for the first time ever how many benzo's I 've been on for years now. Klonopin 1 mg. (1 by mouth) x 5 daily, Xanax 1 mg. ( 1-2 by mouth) x every 4 hrs. as needed. I want off these Mede so badly but had a Grand Mal seizure years ago, after attempting to quite Xanax (wasn't on Klonopin @ that time) and nearly died, leaving me terrified of trying to get off them again. That said, I want my life back w/o being a slave to all these meds.

In addition, I take 10 -30 mgs. Of Hydrocodone daily, can any of you give me some advise? Any help would be deeply appreciated! I feel like my life has been highjacked and I'm the culprit responsible. PLEASE HELP ME, PLEASE!!!

[brwneydgrl2384]

Hi Bella, and welcome.

I'm still pretty new here myself, but I'm 16 days clean off of a 300 + mg oxycodone habit. I'm sure people with way more experience than I have will eventually post and help you, but the weekends are always a little slow.

I can tell you that from everything I've read online while trying to detox myself off the opiates from home said that you should NOT attempt to detox yourself from benzos.

Like I said, I've never really taken benzos, and I'm sure that there are people on here that have A LOT more experience than I do, but everything I found says that it can be VERY dangerous to stop taking them on your own. If you've already had seizures, then you may want to talk to your dr or go to the hospital.

I basically wanted to post to you just to let you know that you're not alone, and the people here are AMAZING. They genuinely care and have a lot of really helpful advice and support. Please just be careful in the meantime.

All my best...Ava <3

[staysober10]

So glad to have found this site. Praying I don't feel like a freak after admitting for the first time ever how many benzo's I 've been on for years now. Klonopin 1 mg. (1 by mouth) x 5 daily, Xanax 1 mg. ( 1-2 by mouth) x every 4 hrs. as needed. I want off these Mede so badly but had a Grand Mal seizure years ago, after attempting to quite Xanax (wasn't on Klonopin @ that time) and nearly died, leaving me terrified of trying to get off them again. That said, I want my life back w/o being a slave to all these meds.

In addition, I take 10 -30 mgs. Of Hydrocodone daily, can any of you give me some advise? Any help would be deeply appreciated! I feel like my life has been highjacked and I'm the culprit responsible. PLEASE HELP ME, PLEASE!!!

BellaHope,

Your life has been hijacked by these pills, and if you want your life back you need to go in the drivers seat and take control. I am struggling with my addiction as well, roxy, vicoden, perocet, opana, you name it, I did it, as long as it was a painkiller. I dont like benzos, they never gave me the feeling opiates did, but they do help with sleep and if you have anxiety. If you were just using hydrocodone alone it would be best to do it Cold Turkey and just be done with it in a week. HOWEVER, you are on a lot of benzos so if I were you, I would go to the doctor so he can give you a proper taper plan. Benzos are dangerous, I would not do this alone, please seek advise and guidance from a professional.

However, you came to the right place for support. Its quiet here on the weekend but you will get the help you asked for soon from the great people on this board. Please make the decision to get your life back. browneyedgrl who posted just above me is an amazing person, I would highly recommend reading her thread. She woke up and made the decision to take her life back and has not looking in the rear view mirror ever since. She's such an inspiration. Please ask your doc for help with your addiction to benzos, seriously.

[MetalDuckMFC]

Your hydrocodone habit is actually quite small, and easily manageable. I recommend just quitting cold turkey, with some help from the Thomas Recipe. You'll be over that in a week.

The REAL problem here are the benzos. Having already had a grand mal seizure, you KNOW that you can't cold turkey the Xanax and Klonopin, right? You need to go to your doctor, sit down with him, and explain the situation. He will be as to work out a SAFE taper plan with you. But it is a LONG road. Benzos are, by far, one of the most dangerous pills to quit.

And, while you're in there, you can tell him that you wanna quit the hydro, as well. He can prescribe you some comfort meds to help ease that, as well

I will keep you in my prayers, as well as keeping an eye on this thread.

-Bobby

[Kitten-NY]

Your hydrocodone habit is actually quite small, and easily manageable. I recommend just quitting cold turkey, with some help from the Thomas Recipe. You'll be over that in a week.

The REAL problem here are the benzos. Having already had a grand mal seizure, you KNOW that you can't cold turkey the Xanax and Klonopin, right? You need to go to your doctor, sit down with him, and explain the situation. He will be as to work out a SAFE taper plan with you. But it is a LONG road. Benzos are, by far, one of the most dangerous pills to quit.

And, while you're in there, you can tell him that you wanna quit the hydro, as well. He can prescribe you some comfort meds to help ease that, as well

I will keep you in my prayers, as well as keeping an eye on this thread.

-Bobby

I know someone who needs to get rid of a husband because of them. Over and over again she keeps forgiving him every time he steals from her, every time he lies, and every time he fails a drug test. He's already been in prison and rehab and if that didn't change him nothing will.

[cryin out]

I agree with MetalDuck on this as well. Do you have a good relationship with your doc? You dont have to admit to being bad, or an addict if you are afraid, just tell him you want to see if you can handle life on your own without the meds. Most doctors seem to want to help get people off addictive meds. There are many people here that have done this, so dont lose hope.

[Kitten-NY]

A friend of mine who is in recovery for 5+ years, explains it like this. Hope that this can help someone.

Addiction is not just a word....it is a condition that some people have and are predispositioned to at birth...

it is not something they learned or have because of their upbringing or circumstances...

it is something that is primal....for them

there is nothing an alcoholic or an addict wants more than to be able to use normally to just get high for a day or two...

they find out over and over it is just not possible for the addicted to use normally....

they only have 2 choices...do not use....or progress in the disease and end up in jails, institutions or dead

[BellaHope]

"wiping away tears" From the bottom of my heart I thank you all for replying with such compassion and thoughtfulness. Just knowing I'm not alone in my quest to stop this madness, and that I have a place to come without being judged means more to me than mere words can express. That being said, with an humble heart, once again THANK YOU ALL.

[BellaHope]

Hi Bella, and welcome.

I'm still pretty new here myself, but I'm 16 days clean off of a 300 + mg oxycodone habit. I'm sure people with way more experience than I have will eventually post and help you, but the weekends are always a little slow.

I can tell you that from everything I've read online while trying to detox myself off the opiates from home said that you should NOT attempt to detox yourself from benzos.

Like I said, I've never really taken benzos, and I'm sure that there are people on here that have A LOT more experience than I do, but everything I found says that it can be VERY dangerous to stop taking them on your own. If you've already had seizures, then you may want to talk to your dr or go to the hospital.

I basically wanted to post to you just to let you know that you're not alone, and the people here are AMAZING. They genuinely care and have a lot of really helpful advice and support. Please just be careful in the meantime.

All my best...Ava <3

Ava, you must be an incredibly special woman. Your post was tender yet informative..One can only imagine how many lives you've touched with your gentleness. I just wanted you to know how much it means to me.

~Peace to your heart~ Bella <3

[brwneydgrl2384]

Ava, you must be an incredibly special woman. Your post was tender yet informative..One can only imagine how many lives you've touched with your gentleness. I just wanted you to know how much it means to me.

~Peace to your heart~ Bella <3

Thank you. That really means a lot to me. I've done a lot of things that I'm ashamed of while I was using. I've been clean for 17 days now, and anything I can do to at least TRY and help somebody else just seems like the least that I can do. I sincerely wish you nothing but the best, and if you need anything else, please don't hesitate to post and ask.

Ava <3

[BellaHope]

If there is anyone else out there who can help me, ur input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!