depression from loosing sister in 2010

[Bratt72793]

I just recently lost my sister i'm 17 and she was 23, and then 11 days after i lost my grandfather, both to cancer and this has put a tremendous amount of stress on me, i was with them both when they passed, i made an appoiment with my doctor because i thought that i was going crazy, when i went to the doctor i told her what was wrong, she prescribed me Prozac and Xanax, i know how to take the Prozac but i'm terrified to take a Xanax i don't know how to or when to, what i was told is to take them when i feel i need it, but when it that? i defiantly don't want to be addicted to it. I mean they are .25 mg and i can take it up to 2 times a day but i'm not too sure when. can anyone help me out at all???

[shadowwally]

Bratt,
This is one subject I can't touch, but I didn't want you to think no one cares. I care tooooo much. Been there, can't help myself, let alone you.
But oh, dear God, I am so sorry. Out of order deaths are not supposed to happen. I'm so sorry.
There will be someone here soon, I promise who can help you. I'm detoxing, haven't cried all day, and now i'm sobbing..
You will get your answers. My love, prayer, sympathy, my heart to you.
Marian

[Bratt72793]

I didnt want to face the truth when i went to the doctor, its nothing that i wish upon anyone, i almost lost everything because i was just getting worse. my school is basically telling me that i shouldnt of missed the 3-4 weeks that i did and that they cant help me so that added even more stress and i would cry every night get into fits that were like PMS but like 10x worse because i was mad but then be upset, and i dont want to take the Xanax unless i truley need it because it is addictive and thats the last thing that i want.

[shadowwally]

I didnt want to face the truth when i went to the doctor, its nothing that i wish upon anyone, i almost lost everything because i was just getting worse. my school is basically telling me that i shouldnt of missed the 3-4 weeks that i did and that they cant help me so that added even more stress and i would cry every night get into fits that were like PMS but like 10x worse because i was mad but then be upset, and i dont want to take the Xanax unless i truley need it because it is addictive and thats the last thing that i want.

Bratt,
I'm here for you til someone comes along...they will. they always do. I don't know what to say. I'm just going to write. Remember, i warned you, i can't help you, i can't help me when it comes to this.
And this is GRIEF. We learn how to handle grief by watching others who do it with faith, dignity, love, work, and tears. My parents have lost two daughters, my sisters. I've watched and learned. I'll be better at dealing with it next time I hope, but I made a mess of it. Dr's throw drugs at you, people want you to be happy, world goes on and the bible says those who mourn shall be comforted. Well, gotta tell you, none of this helped me.
I'm still dealing, or trying to deal. If nothing else, maybe i can at least let you know i know where you're at.....but you need MORE. As do I. So let's wait, together, ok? Someone will come. I wish they'd hurry!
With love and caring,
Marian

[Bratt72793]

thank you and yes i just wish that someone would answer both of us. Its not fair that either one of us have to wait for answers. Dealing with stuff like this isnt fun nor is it something that ANYONE should deal with. Im here waiting with you and im sorry for your losses and if i could help ill try. i very good at listening to people all tho most of the time everyone thinks im ignoring them but im really not.

[shadowwally]

Hey,
Truly, it seems like we are waiting a long time, but it's not. Really. I just know i'm over my head and do not want to say anything incorrect to you, so i'm panicking just a little.
People here, come on when they can. They have jobs, they also subscribe to threads they've read. Since I've read yours, I'll get an e-mail once a day, telling me if there has been any activity.
And you never know what time it is where anywhere is. So please.......this is a wonderful forum. I promise you that. You will be glad you came here, I'm glad you came here.
So hang loose, I'm going to go take a bath to make time go faster. Do you have enough concentration to play video games? Or watch a TV show? Take a break, walk away, and it'll be okay.
Marian

[yezdegerd]

To answer your question you should only take them when your having a panic episode. When it becomes hard to breathe or your heart feels like its going to jump out of your chest. When you're freaking out and it won't seem to stop..25 is a low dose, I take a 1mg nightly and never come close to being physically addicted. Just use them when you feel you need to calm down and relieve stress that can hurt your body and you'll be fine.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my cousin and mentor 6 years ago, i wish I could say it gets easier, but in the end you just have to remember they would want you to be happy.

[Bratt72793]

Thanks for the reply, and i know that its not going to get easer and im trying to live like she wanted me too but its defiantly not easy conceding i lost her in October.

[shadowwally]

To answer your question you should only take them when your having a panic episode. When it becomes hard to breathe or your heart feels like its going to jump out of your chest. When you're freaking out and it won't seem to stop..25 is a low dose, I take a 1mg nightly and never come close to being physically addicted. Just use them when you feel you need to calm down and relieve stress that can hurt your body and you'll be fine.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my cousin and mentor 6 years ago, i wish I could say it gets easier, but in the end you just have to remember they would want you to be happy.

Thanks Yez for posting. I don't know if you could tell how panicked i was, but thank you.I'm sorry for your loss. We all have them. Young people losing siblings is just my Achilles heel.
Vaya con Dios,
Marian

[newyorkgal]

Bratt, I am terribly sorry about your sister. Life sure isn't fair sometimes. I am old enough to be your grandmother and feel terrible for your loss. Better than pills, have you considered going to counseling. There is something called grief counseling where they deal specifically with the issues involved with losing a loved one. It can only help. You need someone to talk to, even more than you need a pill. As yez said, only take the xanax when you are in extreme anxiety. They won't help sadness. Talking to someone really will... Take care and keep posting.

[shadowwally]

I have to say that this forum rocks! Thank you to everyone everywhere, and a special tthumbs up who can give such wonderful advice as Yez and newyorkgal did.
Grief doesn't have to paralyze you. I can say that. It's not in my heart yet. So I'm just reading from here on in, hopefully learning and so very very thankful for all the caring people out there.
Vaya con Dios,
Marian

[Bratt72793]

yes actually im going to counsling in three weeks my doctor said that its going to take that long for my body to adjust to the Prozac so in two weeks im going back to the doctor and then going to a counsler, my only issue with that is i tryed it before nd all i did was cry i had to leave early and i cant talk to them its just something that i cant do.

[Bratt72793]

thank you to everyone i appcreate your guys input on this because its just something that noone should have to deal with but its nature nd it cant be stoppedd

[Robert_325]

Bratt72793 ...... I've never told this story here. In Feb 1976 I lost my 26 year old brother and my best friend in three weeks time. I was 22 years old, young like you. My brother had a massive coronary due to a staph infection and my best friend was killed in a head on collision with a semi truck in Mexico. His children were even missing. I flew to Puebla, Mexico and found the kids with missionaries, then brought them, their mother who almost died and my friend's body home to America and did that funeral.

I was so depressed and beside myself that it took me three years later before I ever cried. I just held it all inside me all that time and it ate at me. I had to handle my brother's funeral as my parents were in shock. I thought my dad would kill himself. Then my best friend was killed. I never had a chance to mourn for myself. I didn't take drugs over it, I moved on with my life as I had no choice.

The only thing I knew to do was bury myself in work. With all that happened I was still the top salesperson in our company nationwide that month and I only was able to work 12 days. I worked around the clock trying to hide from my depression and sadness. I sold 305 insurance policies in less than two weeks. I never slept, I worked nurses in rest homes at night on the midnight shift, climbed up on roofs to sell roofers working, climbed ground oil rigs to sell oilfield workers, even sold some ladies in a laundry washing their clothes. I sold every employee in one bank. I walked door to door working every day trying to hide my sadness. I still can't believe I sold all those policies in 12 days being so sad. I totally faked my enthusiasm to survive. The plaque I won for all those sales is right in front of my computer as I write this after all these years. To this day I think about my brother and best friend every week of my life.

There are no answers for why some things happen. We don't get all the answers here on earth, but we have God's love to comfort us. We don't always get what is fair, but we have the hope and His promise of eternal life and I will see my brother and friend again someday. That has kept me going all these years. God promises to not forsake us and He has never let me down yet. God bless you for your loss and I pray you receive the peace I have. You never will forget but you will survive through His love and grace if you allow Him to work in your heart. Try to leave the xanax alone unless it's ABSOLUTELY necessary. God bless.

[MaisieC]

Dear Bratt,

I'm so sorry for your terrible losses. That is so much for one person to have to handle. It is amazing how we can heal, but it will take some time.

In the mean time, I would leave the xanax alone this weekend, then call your doctor on Monday and ask for specific instructions about how to use it. I thought xanax was mainly prescribed for panic attacks. Are you having those? Or more general anxiety? Ask your doctor to tell you exactly how you're supposed to use the medicine. "When you feel you need it" isn't specific enough. She needs to help you out a bit more with that.

I know it can be hard, but I think talking about it can be very healing. Best to let it all out rather than hold it in, if you possibly can. It's OK to cry. Cry if you need to. You're not there to entertain the therapist; you go ahead and cry if you need to.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take good care of yourself.

Best wishes,
Maisie

[desperate2bdone]

Hi Bratt,

I am SO SO SO sorry for your loses. My 5 year old nephew was brutally murdered in September. He was life flighted on Sept 9th and we ended up having to make the horrible decision to take him off life support on Sept 19th. He had SEVERE head trama. He ended up have 9 massive strokes, back to back. Only 5% of his brain was functioning and that was the part that operated his heart, and his lungs. We couldn't let him "exist" like that. So, He passed away on Sept 20th at 4:53pm. That is the most horrific thing I have ever gone through. The man that killed him still hasn't been charged. He's in jail for BACK CHILD SUPPORT!!!! What has helped me is talking with my Pastor at my church. What's really hard, for me, is seeing it on the new's and in all the new's papers. When I feel like I'm losing it (which is pretty often) I call the Pastor at my church and he "talks me down" so to speak. You will never "get over" the death of somebody dear to you. You just learn how to live with it. I suggest finding somebody you trust that you can talk to. Whoever that may be. I didn't think talking about it would help, because to this day I can hardly talk about it. (Typing is different). But, I bawled, hyperventilated, whatever I had to do, but did get out what I needed to say. It does help.

Like everybody else has said don't take the xanax unless your having panic attack. That can only cause more problems and thats the LAST thing you need. Call your doctor, get specific instructions on how to take it. And my advice would be to find somebody, one on one if you prefer (I could never talk about it in a group setting), and talk about it. It really will help.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Losing somebody you love is the worst pain, it's undescribeable. I wish you the best honey!!

[Bratt72793]

this means alot to me that you would share you story with me and im thankfull for that, i never would of thought that at the age of 17 i would have to buryy my sister, and yes i know that God has something in store for me and that i will see her again but i everyone keeps telling me that i have to be strong for her three kids but everytime that i see them all i want to do is hold them and cry. once again thank you for shareing and im sorry for your loss.

[shadowwally]

Bratt,
I was with you while we waited for all these great people to post. Just want you to know I'm still here, reading.
Hang around, if you can't talk to a grief counselor......and that is who i would go to, not a normal therapist. Many of them may be labeled "normal" therapists, but they have spent their mandatory yearly studying, specializing. So you can always call and ask if someone specializes in grief counseling, even if the actual name grief isn't there.
Hang around long enough, I may stop reading and post you.
Just wanted you to know that i have followed each and every post you have here because i care.
Take care,
Marian