[MONEYFORME2]

Hello all I just joined the forum.
I got a few questions, it's about my wife she has been batteling with depresstion for many years. It seems to be getting harder for her to get out of bed, or do anything for that matter. I just wanted to know if theirs anything I can do to help her. I love my wife can would listen to any help you all my have for me and my family. I just don't know what to do any more!

[vduda]

Is she on medication or getting counseling?

[MONEYFORME2]

No she has not been on any Med's, she was at one time but it didn't help. So she quit useing them. I thing it had alot to do with the fact that we had no insurance, to help pay for all the dotor visit's and Med's.

Now things at home have gotten really bad, my wife has taken O.D on some pills. So I had to take her to the hospital. Now she is blame's me because she can't come home. I'm glad that she is getting some help now but I do feel guilty that I took her hospital. I just didn't want to lose her,we need her. Right now she's at a clinic and they have her on lock down. I can't even see her, I know this is all for the best however I feel like am all alone without her here.
I pray she will get better the kid's miss her so much. Any advise or words of comfort.

[vduda]

Sucram,

You don't happen to sell this VEMMA. Or may be u own stoke in the company. LOL

[vduda]

Money,

I feel for you. Sounds like your going through hell. Are u taking care of yourself. Your kids need you so stay strong. As for your wife, depression is one of those things you have to wanna fight. When I was younger I had clinical depression and tried several time to do the deed. Now I see it was a cry for help. But it seems your wife is in a bad state. At least she is somewhere she can't hurt herself for now. Hopefully, she will take medication to help herself. Many times when an individual is in the grips of depression they don't feel nothing can help. Just be there for her. I am concerned about you and your family. I will pray for you and your family. God Bless

[erinkj]

I can well imagine the internal struggle you are dealing with right now and I am sympathetic. The most important thing for you to remember now, is that you made the right decision concerning you'r wife. I am sencing that you have many guilty feelings about her being an inpatient but, you have done nothing wrong. Keep in mind that people with chronic deppression NEED that help. She wasn't getting any better being at home and there was nothing that you could do to help her no matter how hard you wished it or how much you love her. She is in the best possible place that she can be right now. When a person is batteling that kind of deep deppression, they are not their normal self and may say and do thing's that are completely uncharechtaristic for them. She is very lucky to have such strong support at home. Try to take comfort in the knowledge that your actions may have saved her life and that she is being well cared for and will thank you for helping her through this. You need only to continue being her loving, caring husband! With inpatient care she is probobly being treated with medications with round the clock suppervision should she have adverse reactions and she will be educated about her condition and how to treat it. Try to shake you'r worry, this is a step in the right direction. Look to the posetive and continue to do you'r best to take care of yourself and family. If you can, try to take some time out for yourself; even if it is just to take a walk, a nap, anything that you find relaxing or enjoyable as that will help you remain calm. You can only take one day at a time, for now, worry about tomorow when it get's here. Hang in there, you have taken the right path for all concerned. I wish you all my best. God bless....Erin

[MONEYFORME2]

Thanks for the kind words, My wife is starting to cheer up. she on some kind of med for Bi-polar disorder. It and the other med's look to be helping her, I saw her yesterday and she was in a good mood and feeling postive about getting help. I still have no idea when she may come home but I do feel like I have done the right thing for my family. The childern miss her and ask alot of questions but I just tell them that mom is feeling bad and when she feel's better she can come home to us. If anyone has some input as to how I help the kids understand I'm open. Again thanks for your support in this my family's time of need, You have really help me out.

[mpvt]

You did the right thing and your wife will likely tell you that at some point.
There is nothing worse then having that "can't/don't want to get out of bed depression".If you've never been depressed like this then it's very difficult to understand what it's like.
You hate everything and get absolutely no satisfaction from anyone or anything.
Alot of times people sleep alot to avoid being awake and having these wave after wave of dark depressive feelings rolling into their head and gut.
I'm so glad that she is starting to feel better.Also the meds for depression usually take a good 6 weeks before they really take hold and become effective.So you may find that she is depressed one day and not so the next for awhile.
Hang in there as the road to her recovery has started and you and the kids will have there wife\mom back healthy and happy......Dave

[ymccormack]

Originally Posted by erinkj

I can well imagine the internal struggle you are dealing with right now and I am sympathetic. The most important thing for you to remember now, is that you made the right decision concerning you'r wife. I am sencing that you have many guilty feelings about her being an inpatient but, you have done nothing wrong. Keep in mind that people with chronic deppression NEED that help. She wasn't getting any better being at home and there was nothing that you could do to help her no matter how hard you wished it or how much you love her. She is in the best possible place that she can be right now. When a person is batteling that kind of deep deppression, they are not their normal self and may say and do thing's that are completely uncharechtaristic for them. She is very lucky to have such strong support at home. Try to take comfort in the knowledge that your actions may have saved her life and that she is being well cared for and will thank you for helping her through this. You need only to continue being her loving, caring husband! With inpatient care she is probobly being treated with medications with round the clock suppervision should she have adverse reactions and she will be educated about her condition and how to treat it. Try to shake you'r worry, this is a step in the right direction. Look to the posetive and continue to do you'r best to take care of yourself and family. If you can, try to take some time out for yourself; even if it is just to take a walk, a nap, anything that you find relaxing or enjoyable as that will help you remain calm. You can only take one day at a time, for now, worry about tomorow when it get's here. Hang in there, you have taken the right path for all concerned. I wish you all my best. God bless....Erin

That was very well said and heartfelt, Erin. Good words.

Moneyforme2: I'm a mom...I don't know how old the kids are but I'll assume young enough to make this a very difficult and scary time for them.

If I was in your wife's situation, I would want my husband to constantly reinforce the fact that I love them very, very much. I'd want him to let them know that my not feeling good is in no way their fault and has no effect on how much I love them. Have them draw pictures (if they are little) or write letters if they are older that are private between mom and child. If they are teenagers and seem to need more information, do a little research and get them some info on depression so they understand what mom's going through. Knowledge is power.

Again...you made the right decision for your wife, children and yourself. She'll get better and come home and things will be different but in a good way.


Take care of your kids....keep us posted.

YM

[prettywoman]

Just don't give up on her and be there for her no matter what. She will get better but it takes time for the medicine to work.

[inhalexxhale]

Originally Posted by MONEYFORME2

Hello all I just joined the forum.
I got a few questions, it's about my wife she has been batteling with depresstion for many years. It seems to be getting harder for her to get out of bed, or do anything for that matter. I just wanted to know if theirs anything I can do to help her. I love my wife can would listen to any help you all my have for me and my family. I just don't know what to do any more!

My mom went through something similar to what you're describing. Depending on your wife's age, it may be the same circumstance. About a year and a half ago my mom was... really depressed (I'm not a fan of psychology, so I don't use that word lightly).
My mom stays at home and she's naturally an extremely positive person. Her positivity amazes me sometimes.
Somewhere around being 45, this thing hit her and completely drained her. I felt terrible... and my dad felt helpless.

After a few months of ineffectively trying to help her (talking, trying to figure out why she was so upset, ect.) my mom agreed to find professional help. My dad set her up with a therapist and she began searching for an anti-depressant that worked with her chemicals.
End of story- Mom finally found the right drug (Prozac, I think) and she was able to beat her depression.

Antidepressants are weird. Each drug needs to stay in your system for about a month in order to take affect and antidepressants are almost person- specific... in other words, you have to go through a lot of drugs and for a long period of time until you find the one that actually works with your mind. Different people responds differently to medication.

Additionally: My mom's depression had to do with menopause. She had been taking an antidepressant for years to balance out her insomnia... but since her hormones and sh*t were changing, she had to switch pills.