[addicted_n_seattle]

Into Day 5… OMG I never knew someone could sweat so much without moving. I did get out of bed today. I dressed and drove to the gym only to undress and climb into the hottub and sauna. Finally somewhere that I wasn’t freezing.

On my way home I stopped by the grocery and picked up some Ensure & more juice. I haven’t kept much down the past four days. I’ve lost 8 pounds with this detox. I wish I would have eaten more before making the decision to quit c/t.

Someone called this morning wanted to hook them up. It was hard to say no, but easy too. (I did say no). Regardless when I hung up I immediately looked at my bag of heroin. ******** I wish I had the guts, conviction, something, that would enable me to get rid of it. Instead everytime I look at it I have to make the decision that I'm done. I'm an addict that if I continue to use I will live my life as a shell of a people.

Heroin has been my best friend for the past year. He was always there when I needed to relax or have a good time, Heroin was the perfect Friday date. I knew exactly what to expect. I had courage and determination to do the unknown. I also remember the horrible friend Heroin is... the pain, sufferring, bad things I did to get high. I remember how costly my friend is and how I cant not continue...

I guess its time to learn all over again. I'm going to go to a meeting now and then I have to take a final at school tonight.

thank you everyone who has left me little message of encouragement. its helped alot.

jj

[TTTDogs]

JJ,

I am so proud of you - you DID it my friend - CT HERION - YOU DID IT - I am so glad you decided to get out of the house - I know it is hard - but it keeps you busy - you body WILL heal and you will start to fell "normal" emotionally - I know right now you feel empty - and feel like you will never feel right again - but I promise you my friend - you WILL regain your life - YOU NEVER HAVE TO FEEL THAT WAY AGAIN - you are done chasing the dope - the needle - the money - fixing your dope sickness - you are CLEAN -........

You know Ruth ARTIST had some very wise advice for me at your stage - (I am celebrating DAY 10) she let me know I am POWERLESS over my addiction - not matter how much I think I might find a way to do drugs "responsibly" the truth is I am powerless - when I became an addict I let the drugs win - and they WILL win every time - so the ONLY way I can manage my addiction - is to NOT USE - I have to admit the drugs own me and I am powerless to control their use.

I really am happy for you - you will see - it WILL get better - Just take each day as it come - remain patient - let your body heal - and celebrate - the fact that you have come thru the other side - it gets better every DAY - keep posting - you are an inspiration to others!

Hugs TTT

[mottam]

a_n_seattle:
Congrats on day 5.
May I make a suggestion, please?
You are going through dope w/d and have heroin at your disposal?
OUCH! Get rid of it! This is and "all in or all out" fight.
I flushed my oxys. If I had them during w/d, you and I would not be talking right now - I would be high.

I respect your drive - keep going.
I am by no means a therapist - but you are dancing w/ the devil holding ANY opiates.

Get rid of it!

mottam

[doc.rose]

WOW!! You have done such a fantastic job!! You will have support from everyone on this forum to get you through. just keep posting!! Congrats!! Give yourself a pat on the back and a high five!!

[Freedom4me]

Seattle,
You are doing so great. But my friend, I beg you, please get rid of your heroin. Please, please. There is nothing more dangerous to your recovery. I would hate for you to go through this pain for nothing. Robert will tell you that your stash is for relapse. I flushed my vicodins. Please get rid of it. YOU DON'T NEED IT. YOU CAN DO THIS!! You made it this far.

[RubyDean]

jj, mottam is so right about having a bag in your house. why do that to yourself? it really is making this harder for you. also even having old friends calling you is tuff man.
i was a junkie for a long time, and even after cleaning house, changing my number, and working NA daily, it has been the hardest thing in my life. i couldn't imagine doing what you are doing...you never know what minute that it will sound like a good idea, and you will end up getting high...it is a fact, unless you are that 1 in a million...i know i wasn't, but i liked to think i was. Proud of you for what you have endured, and accomplished. Make this last phase easier on you and flush it now.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by addicted_n_seattle

Into Day 5… OMG I never knew someone could sweat so much without moving. I did get out of bed today. I dressed and drove to the gym only to undress and climb into the hottub and sauna. Finally somewhere that I wasn’t freezing.

On my way home I stopped by the grocery and picked up some Ensure & more juice. I haven’t kept much down the past four days. I’ve lost 8 pounds with this detox. I wish I would have eaten more before making the decision to quit c/t.

Someone called this morning wanted to hook them up. It was hard to say no, but easy too. (I did say no). Regardless when I hung up I immediately looked at my bag of heroin. ******** I wish I had the guts, conviction, something, that would enable me to get rid of it. Instead everytime I look at it I have to make the decision that I'm done. I'm an addict that if I continue to use I will live my life as a shell of a people.

Heroin has been my best friend for the past year. He was always there when I needed to relax or have a good time, Heroin was the perfect Friday date. I knew exactly what to expect. I had courage and determination to do the unknown. I also remember the horrible friend Heroin is... the pain, sufferring, bad things I did to get high. I remember how costly my friend is and how I cant not continue...

I guess its time to learn all over again. I'm going to go to a meeting now and then I have to take a final at school tonight.

thank you everyone who has left me little message of encouragement. its helped alot.

jj

JJ ....... we haven't heard from you in a while. I'm just praying you're still clean and trucking along. You've been on my mind as I'm always concerned for the people on this forum. Let us know how you're doing good or bad. Don't give up on yourself. Hope to hear from you. God bless.