[addicted_n_seattle]

Today is day 4 without heroin. This morning I woke up and almost forgot the hell my body is going through. I’m still in withdrawal but it is getting better. Why after what I have been through do I want to stick a needle in my arm?

I don’t want to go through withdrawal again but I don’t know how to not use. Even this morning I’m wondering what I can take to feel better or sleep through everything.

I try to remember everything that drugs have taken from me; money, my job, my friends, my health… so why do I forget all that and want a fix. I feel insane.

[doc.rose]

Did you reach out to Robert? Ask him about the xanax? do not get discouraged, you have come so far!! I can feel your frustration in your post. Please reach out to Robert_325. He is the one to go to. He will have suggestions for you. Don't give up!!!!!!! Please!!

[SABIAN23]

Hey. I am a recovering heroin/methadone addict, and have been addicted to opiates for about 13 years, my father has been a heroin addict for over 45 years, and i can tell you from experience that every fiber of your being is going to want to use and that will be the case for some time to come. The ones that are successful are the ones who walk through that fire without acting on the cravings and impulses that you will have. What you are experiencing is life without endorphines. Your body has essentially stopped making its own natural pain killer, and if you dont think your hair can hurt, it can. It can take months to start feeling better, because paws sets in, and you need to get your body back to where it is producing endorphines. I suggest that you try and exercise, i know it is hard to do anything at this point, and get yourself to a meeting. Na, or aa, both will work. Support is a huge thing, and at some point a sponsor is key as well. It is perfectly normal to want to use, talking to someone about it takes away the power of it for a little while, that is why meetings are good. Again, you have to walk through the fire, and just know it will take a long time to feel halfway normal. Hang in there, and if you have any questions just ask them, im not an expert, but i have alot of experience with this.

[TTTDogs]

Ad,

I am back! I have been worried about you ALL day - and was relieved to see your post - ok - perfectly NORMAL to still want to use at this moment - on my day 4 - and I have not shared this before - I really struggled - even though I was feeling a tad better - I somehow felt like I deserved a shot of morphine - after all I had been thru - I HAD to keep telling myself it would be a set back - it is true - you have screwed up your body's chemistry and you are not able to make endorphines the bodies natural opiate - but I am now on day 9 and I tell you the urge to use has subsided dramatically - we will always struggle with urges - we signed onto that when we became addicts - but we can learn to deny them and remember the pain - the only good thing about the hell you have just endured is that it will take a LONG TIME to forget -

You now must let those minutes tick by to heal your body - to rebalance your chemistry - that is what I spend so much time on this forum - it has filled the days between my wd horror and now DAY 9 - and allowed my body to hear - it has been a constant reminder to me - that with one pill or one shot - I am defeated - back to square one - I am not sure I have it in me to go thru another CT WD - and where would that leave me ? Your journey has kept my journey fresh and I thank you for that -

Stay strong my friend - I promise you in the next several days - you will have moments when the urge just disappears - hang onto your victory - you really earned it - I am here for you all the way!! Keep posing!

Happy HUGS TTT

[TTTDogs]

Hey AD - just checking in- if you can please go for a walk - do it for ME? you will be amazed at how it clears your head and helps all the symptoms - have you roommates come back ? Thought you said Tuesday -

I am really proud of you - that took some guts - my friend -hang on 4 X's - that is amazong you are a warrior! I am here for you!



Goodluck HUG TTT

[addicted_n_seattle]

Yes roommate is home. I'm hiding in my room. You really think a walk will help? I have a hard time to go up and down the stairs. I will try any suggestion. I wish someone was here to hold me upright.

[MaisieC]

I just want you to know that I think you're doing GREAT. Four days without dope is GREAT. My best friend was addicted to heroin, and I remember what an awful time she had detoxing. You're doing very, very well. I know you feel miserable, but please take our word for it that you are really succeeding, even though you feel wretched. The w/d symptoms will get better every day from this point on.

Have you ever been involved with NA? I think that's the best way to learn how not to use, how to stay clean. You can check online to find out where your local meetings are. Maybe you can aim for getting to a meeting tomorrow.

In the meantime, are you able to eat anything? Gatorade is a God-send when your digestion is messed up; it will help prevent dehydration. Can your roommate go out and get you some? And nibble on dry crackers...just as though you had a flu bug. You'll feel better if you can get some nourishment, even just a little bit at this point.

I saw your post to Robert about the xanax, and I think you know the answer to that question. If you had a xanax habit before, this is probably the worst time in the world for you to pick up that drug again. I took benzos both before and after my opiate habit started, and after I'd experienced the opiates I started getting a buzz off the benzos. I don't know what the science is behind that, but it seems that once you're an addict, you have the built-in potential to abuse anything abuse-able.

Please try hard to focus on taking it one day at a time. You're doing great. Get through tonight without using, and try your hardest to get to a meeting tomorrow. You've got a great start on your new life. Hang in there. You CAN come out the other side and have a great life, clean. I know you feel wretched now, but you're well on your way to being clean. You're doing much better than you feel you are!

Please take good care of yourself. We're all rooting for you!

Maisie

[Robert_325]

Addicted .... I posted to you on your other thread. Here is a link on how I suggest people use subs, and xanax is not a part of the picture.

Read the link closely paying close attention to the INDUCTION section. I've been in LOTS of pain myself lately and am about to go to bed. But I'll be back tomorrow and we'll discuss the link then.

I'll keep you in my prayers. And read the link closely. It's worked for many people on this forum. God bless.

http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...apy-50887.html

[addicted_n_seattle]

Hi Robert

I'm sure I could find a program which offers suboxone however I havent looked into it. Being in the same area you do you know where I can start looking?

My xanax question referred to the "The Thomas Recipe - For Opiate Withdrawal".

Thanks for you help...

jj

[TTTDogs]

Hey AdinS

How are you? just checking in with you - I check back throughout the day!

HUGS TTT

[mottam]

Originally Posted by addicted_n_seattle

Hi Robert

I'm sure I could find a program which offers suboxone however I havent looked into it. Being in the same area you do you know where I can start looking?

My xanax question referred to the "The Thomas Recipe - For Opiate Withdrawal".

Thanks for you help...

jj

a_n_Seattle:
You are OBVIOUSLY very serious about beating this addiction. You are on day 4 - that is GREAT! With the attitude and drive that you have, you can and ARE winning.
Whatever path you continue to take, c/t or subs, stick with it. You have so much to gain.

I wish you all the best of luck, and will continue to pray for you. Do not let "back ground noise" derail your recovery. That is, find your support group; positive and honest people, and stick with them. Filter out and eliminate the rest. You need to be selfish right now, and focus on YOU!

When I joined this forum, one group of some really amazing people jumped on my thread and guided me through all the pain, pitfalls, triggers, etc.

You are a winner for what you are doing right now. The way to be successful at this is to do what those of us have done to get clean. Stick with Robert's instructions.
Even in the darkest depths of this fight - one simple rule - DO NOT USE!

Best of luck - keep up the good fight!

Kindest Regards
mottam

[Freedom4me]

AN Seattle,
Hang tough my friend. You are really doing great. I am so impressed. Yours is a hard habit to break as I understand it. Keep doing what you are doing and I know it will get better for you. Posting really helps with the mental load you have to carry.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by addicted_n_seattle

Hi Robert

I'm sure I could find a program which offers suboxone however I havent looked into it. Being in the same area you do you know where I can start looking?

My xanax question referred to the "The Thomas Recipe - For Opiate Withdrawal".

Thanks for you help...

jj

If you get into the Thomas Recipe for cold turkey opiate w/d I think that would be a great decision personally. Lots of people have been successful using that plan.

If you go that route using a few benzos would be okay, but notice that the Recipe talks about ONLY using them for about four days or so. So that would be the extent of it. I can work with you but you'll need to stick with the plan to the letter for it to work right.

I'll be gone for a while but will be back in a few hours. You can also go to www.suboxone.com and enter your zip code and the distance you're willing to drive and they will provide you a list of all sub-certified drs in your designated area. There are a ton of them between Seattle and Tacoma if you choose the suboxone route. God bless.