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on day 4 and losing my will
  1. #1
    reckless1 is offline Junior Member
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    Default on day 4 and losing my will

    hey everyone i been on opiates for 5 yrs now but really didnt start getting sick till the last 2 yrs.i hate it and i got my future wife off cocaine and hooked on pills trading one evil for another and im so tired of the habit cuz its controlling me. my drug of choice is oxy 80 mgs x 4 or 5 a day and it seems like evry month i put my self thru this at least once but i cant make it stick,it doesnt help my girl has a scrip for oxys and oxycodone 15 mgs 180 pills altogether and we burn thru em in 2 weeks or more so if we dont have money to get em off the streets we just get sick and im done doing this to myself i just need some motivation and alot of people on this site seem to care.i dont want to whine but a week ago my fiancee took the kids and went back to n.c. so now im dealing with w/ds which arent bad at this point and depression of losing my family and i just wanna get high!im sorry but i feel so normal or better on pills.ive taken suboxen a few times during bad w/ds but no more then 2 or 3 days and it worked wonders for me but i never take it more then that and not every month even. as of right now day 4 c/t no xanax no opiates no nothing and i know i can do this,just help me thru it

  2. #2
    Hurtmyspirit is offline Junior Member
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    Default Keep posting

    The one thing that has helped me is this forum...i checked everyday about eight times a day...Post and post, get it all out of what it is your expierencing I promise good people will be listening and offering support and sharing thier stories. I even come during work on my breaks to read and offer support.

    hope all get better

  3. #3
    Anonymous Guest

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    yeh bro, lots of people done cold turkey recently, have a read around the forums, its great. lots of good advice just by readin, let alone posting.

    good on ya
    push on thru bro, and do it this time.

    cheeky

  4. #4
    SEMR is offline Junior Member
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    Reckless don't give up. Day 4 thats awesome!!! Everyone minute clean is a miracle in itself. I know it doesn't feel very good right now but you are already coming around the corner. Whatever you do, do not use. I know you are upset about your family leaving but hey, look at it this way, its a great time to get clean right? You are by yourself, no kids, just you. You owe it to yourself and the kids to be clean. I went through hell and back on vicodin 10/650 about 15x a day for a while. I got clean with my kids here and other people in the same house using the same thing right in front of me. Im now 3 weeks and one day clean! Some days are harder than others but you make it. Again 4 days is freakin awesome! Give yourself some credit. Pat yourself on the back and post, post often. If you want, take a look at my thread, Help! The valley of the shadow of death. The name of the thread should tell you what I was going through when I started it. These guys are great on here and someone is always on here to respond. Also as soon as you can, I would recommend NA to help you through things. God Bless.

  5. #5
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    hey reckless,

    i'm on day 11 of cold turkery. i was chewing oc 80's and taking 10mg perks. I jumped at about 60mg. You'll be better soon. Day four stunk for me. My physical withdrawals are gone but I still have cravings and the cravings are going away every day. 4 days is a long time. keep it going. I'm a big baby and was afraid of quitting but i did it and here i am. 11 days opiate free. I used so I didn't have to feel and could care less about what was going on with me. It's better now. I have some of my fiestyness back. I posted alot and read and reread threads when i was able and that helped me get through.

    Keep it going - your almost there!!!!!!!!

  6. #6
    ppi121 is offline Member
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    Default Reckless

    Listen, if you are on day 4 then for the most part the worst should be over. Day 5 will peak the anxiety and sleeplessness, RLS etc, but after that every day gets better. Believe everyone here when they say that they have been there.
    You should sit in a warm bath tonite with sme epsom salts if you have them. this will help your muscle aches a LOT!! Tonite when you go to bed, try some of the "sleepytime" teas that are in the grocery store. Please believe me I know every person is a little different with WD symptoms, but there is daylight.

    T

  7. #7
    Jennann4 is offline Junior Member
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    Default Get through today

    Hi Reckless,

    Just get through the day, hour by hour. I am one of the cold turkey girls and I'm on Day 7. Day 5 was the big turning point for me. I don't know if you are a smoker but I am an ex=smoker. I tell everyone trying to quit is that they can't imagine a day when they won't feel deprived or craving a cigarette. Well, I never even think about them anymore, even when I'm drinking and my girlfriends are blowing smoke in my face. I just want to wash my hair.

    So even if your fiance is still on, you will get to the place where you feel so good not being on and then you can help her. Think of it that way. Be strong for her and the kids but know that YOU WILL FEELSO MUCH BETTER SO SOON and just get through the night. Baths are great.

    Deep breathing and meditation help calm you down. You will wake up tomorrow feeling better and better the next so don't lose your will. You'll hate yourself for coming this far and be tougher on yourself.

    There's a whole cool world out there. You're doing the right thing. Your night of darkness is almost over and a new day arrives. Promise. And they're right, keep posting.

    Jenna Ann

  8. #8
    reckless1 is offline Junior Member
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    Default thanks everyone your support is helping me a whole lot

    mentally im not so good tonight but im trying to be strong.i will keep it going and re post later im just not feeling right in the head.thanks all and have a sober night

  9. #9
    EricaMarie is offline Member
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    Thinkin of ya reckless....those oxy's are a bit**. At my worst i was doing 4 to 5 80's a day. Reading your post sent chills up my spine b/c i've been there done that, got the tshirt. It sucks i know. Those green devils controlled my damn life for 5 years man!! I got to the lowest of low (jail; legal problems; lost my home and almost my family) and got clean from them. Couldn't do it on my own so got into a methadone clinic program and it's saved me. Hang in there; i know where you're at. You're in my thoughts and prayers. ERICA

  10. #10
    just_a_mom is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by reckless1 View Post
    mentally im not so good tonight but im trying to be strong.i will keep it going and re post later im just not feeling right in the head.thanks all and have a sober night
    Reckless,

    I hope you can make it through the night smoothly then you are one day closer to feeling better.

    Day 4 was hard on me - I first posted to the site on my day 4 b/c I was desperate for some encouragement. It will get better.

    Post if it helps - whine, rant, rage, complain - whatever you need to keep from using. Most of us have been in your shoes and want to help.

    just a mom

  11. #11
    reckless1 is offline Junior Member
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    god i cant get still for some reason,lost is on and im stoked about that but im getting the freaking chills like day 1 or 2 i cant figure this out cuz compared to other w/d s i been thru this one has been physically easier then most but my mental state is way outta wack. sorry if i seem like a cry baby but im used to doing this alone and not with people who care like this community does.im grateful for everyones input, bless you all

  12. #12
    Jennann4 is offline Junior Member
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    Hope you just go to bed Reckless. Even if you lay in bed awake. You're doing the job. Listen to some relaxing music. The mental stuff - consider it a challenge, you vs. your brain. You just have to KNOW that your brain is playing tricks on you to get you to take a pill. Tell him what you think of that.

    Tomorrow will be much better...

  13. #13
    reckless1 is offline Junior Member
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    thx all.im so tired but cant sleep so im just gonna lay here ill be back on tomorrow unless it gets too crazy around here

  14. #14
    doc.rose is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by reckless1 View Post
    thx all.im so tired but cant sleep so im just gonna lay here ill be back on tomorrow unless it gets too crazy around here
    Hey Reckless! Have you googled the Thomas Recipe? It gives great solutions to some of the horrible symptoms you are experiencing. Look it up, I think it will help. Good luck!

  15. #15
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by reckless1 View Post
    god i cant get still for some reason,lost is on and im stoked about that but im getting the freaking chills like day 1 or 2 i cant figure this out cuz compared to other w/d s i been thru this one has been physically easier then most but my mental state is way outta wack. sorry if i seem like a cry baby but im used to doing this alone and not with people who care like this community does.im grateful for everyones input, bless you all
    Hey Reckless,

    The mental part is the toughest part - the physical symptoms do ease up each day, and that should be turning a corner soon. Don't let the mental stuff overwhelm you, as it is (believe it or not) quite NORMAL! It's a roller coaster of emotions, just hang tight. You aren't just dealing with the detox, but also the feelings of loss about your family - that's a lot all at once. Your mind is bound to race.

    There are some natural remedies that may help, available at a natural food store - melatonin, for sleep - or valerian root or kava kava for anxiety. Also, it will help to write your crazy thoughts or feelings here on this forum - as I'm positive you are not alone in what you're going through. When we let this stuff just swirl in our heads, it will only get worse. It really does help to get it out.

    God bless,
    Ruth

  16. #16
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    hey reckless, its the sleepless kiwi here, same as you. too many thoughts and stuff swirlin round this head of mine so i got up for a while.
    no use lying round tossin turnin, too much goin on in the head department.
    hope you can settle as well and get some zeds.

    take it easy, and definately use this place to vent, and get all the cr ap out. it helps alright.

    all the best
    cheeky

  17. #17
    reckless1 is offline Junior Member
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    Default day 5

    feeling better today besides only getting like 4 hours of sleep just trying to maintain my progress,thanks for everyones support please keep it coming cuz im gonna need it today
    oh yeah and cheeky your right after tossing around i just got up at 5 am and said the hell with it,hoping it will just make me more tired tonight when i lay down.i plan on going to the gym today,big step...wish me luck its day 5 no looking back god willing

  18. #18
    Anonymous Guest

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    hey dude, just know there are a lot of good vibes travellin up to you right now from good ol new zealand. way the hell at the >>>> end of the planet.
    but is paradise and we know it.

    so hope that helps, sendin the L U V as i like to do.,

    good on ya mate, keep on the right path. your gonna get there. its got to get a little easier from here ay.?

    see ya, yeh 2.30am, what the hell am i doin up.?
    mind you strange time for me, so im seein some people in the "flesh" i dont usually run into.

    later pal
    take it easy be good to yourself
    cheeky
    kiwi

  19. #19
    reckless1 is offline Junior Member
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    god im having that itch,i went to the gym and came home and all i can think of is getting a pill....aaarrrgghhh

  20. #20
    just_a_mom is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by reckless1 View Post
    god im having that itch,i went to the gym and came home and all i can think of is getting a pill....aaarrrgghhh
    Reckless,

    Cravings are the WORST aren't they... I really struggle with them. Do whatever you have to so that you don't use - post, go back to the gym, take a shower, watch horrible daytime TV, go to AA, scream, cry, whatever works - hold the line dude. Once it passes and you haven't caved you will have another huge accomplishment behind you.

    just a mom

  21. #21
    reckless1 is offline Junior Member
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    thx mom your the best i mean it,im trying i swear i looked at the phone about 10 times but im still here,staying strong i hope

  22. #22
    just_a_mom is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by reckless1 View Post
    thx mom your the best i mean it,im trying i swear i looked at the phone about 10 times but im still here,staying strong i hope
    Reckless,

    I hope you have passed the worst of it - my cravings seem to come in waves (sort of like contractions - ha!). Be really, really proud of yourself for every moment of not picking up the phone. Each time you turn away from pills is a victory. Each freakin' time.

    just a mom

  23. #23
    ppi121 is offline Member
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    Default remind yourself

    You got through yesterday? Believe everyone that each day it goes a little bit easier!! When the irge hits, remind yourself that you beat it back the last time. Just keep saying that you hae done it before, you WILL do it again!!
    Hang in there.

  24. #24
    reckless1 is offline Junior Member
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    thx guys i swear i dont think i can do it with out yall,i just keep coming back and reading and its helping.every minute counts right?

  25. #25
    skins_alive is offline Member
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    Ha reckless:
    Following your thread and sending my exp/thoughts over the waves~~~~~( ). Let it go. Let it go> Let it go!!!
    I am getting through day 3 right now C/T. Not a pretty sight. I can't even think about the gym. I'm just trying to keep down some food. Sounds like U R doing well.

  26. #26
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    Hey reckless - good for you!

    Keep it going. I'm on day 13 and feel better than last week. Cravings stink but you just have to work through it.

    At least your coming clean and life is better on the other side. It's better for me already but still have a long road.

    Good luck to you!

  27. #27
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    oh yeah,

    and the people here are great. they'll help you tons. they helped me and still help me.

  28. #28
    reckless1 is offline Junior Member
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    thx guys im trying to stay busy and keep my mind from wandering and its f'in hard ill post later on im feeling like a wiedo right now...lol

  29. #29
    EricaMarie is offline Member
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    praying for you reckless.....and thinking of you....just hang in there....one day at a time.....or if you need one minute at a time...one hour....whatever it takes know that YOU CAN DO THIS!!

  30. #30
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by reckless1 View Post
    thx guys im trying to stay busy and keep my mind from wandering and its f'in hard ill post later on im feeling like a wiedo right now...lol
    Hey Reckless - are you still around? I do hope you're holding strong. The thing that helped me most with cravings was to FORCE myself to think through exactly where that one pill would take me. Play it out in my mind, not "romancing" the temporary pleasure (which really is very short-lived!) - but playing out how I'd react... the chase for more pills, the remorse, the guilt, the obsession... the people I would hurt.. the consequences that have come before - and those I haven't even begun to hit - yet. I make myself remember exactly WHY I wanted to quit in the first place. I remind myself that is exactly where I'd be headed again. In time, the negative results will outway the delusions I have of short-term benefits... and the craving will pass.

    Trust me, the cravings do lessen the longer you stay clean. This isn't a battle of obsessive thoughts that have no end... you will find relief in time.

    Ruth


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