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Cocaine ruined my life
Cocaine ruined my life
I'm an outgoing person, I go out, I party and I get a lot of girls.
Though, I tried cocaine one time at a party and I did it for 3 months straight, everyday. I am not the type to do drugs so it was different for me. I was on the verge of quitting and then one night I did a lot of coke and smoked a lot of marijuana, and then when the night was over I layed in bed all night and couldn't sleep so I went out the next day and hung out with some friends still couldn't sleep, I felt really weird too, like I wasn't in the right state of mind. My brain has never went to normal since that day, I wake up everyday feeling high, you know the feeling when you wake up in the morning? I feel like that through out the whole day. I haven't done coke for about 3-4 months because I'm too scared of what has happened to me. I'm not the same person that I was, I can't even go out no more because I just want to stay at home all day. I used to be all about appearance now my nose is crooked from all the cocaine I sniffed and I'm really depressed about that.. Does anybody know what has happened to my brain? or suggest I should do?
Originally Posted by Someonehelpme
Cocaine also ruined my life - but it wasn't permanent, not to fear. Cocaine operates differently than other narcotics, which makes it particularly difficult to understand. Some like to say there are no withdrawal symptoms from cocaine, aside from the initial "crash." Actually, there is a unique withdrawal syndrome that goes with abstinance from cocaine.
That syndrome produces primarily psychological symptoms, rather than the acute physical symptoms from other narcotics. Nevertheless, they are intense and often lead to relapse. Those symptoms include depression, anxiety, agitation and suspiciousness (if not full-blown paranoia). This continues for quite a while - yes, months. There is a great deal of difficulty in finding any pleasure in doing anything - like an extreme boredom, plus the depression, which can be overwhelming.
Cocaine actually alters the brain's chemistry. Let me try to explain, although I'm no expert! It blocks the dopamine transport sites, blocking the reuptake of dopamine; thus dopamine is left free in the brain, in ever-increasing amounts. This "surplus" of dopamine adds to the sense of "pleasure" that cocaine gives. When cocaine is removed, the brain doesn't not quickly return to normal. That can take several months; for some, it's up to a year.
That's one reason it is so difficult to stay clean from cocaine; it takes a lot of time for the brain to begin to feel "normal" feelings again. That lethargy, depression, boredom ("what's the use") and agitation can be overwhelming. The brain is simply unable to feel pleasure for a while.
The good news is - you have been away from cocaine for several months. Excellent - that's huge! That's an enormous hurdle to have crossed, to stay away, despite the feelings. Your brain IS healing, I assure you. It shouldn't be long before some of these symptoms dissipate - and, eventually, all will.
If you are still concerned, perhaps you should talk to your family doctor, or a psychiatrist or neurologist. I do not know if there is anything that can be done to ease the effects, aside from TIME. I would personally NOT turn to another drug, even if prescribed, as it's wise to let your brain recover fully. I wouldn't want to ADD another drug that may interfere with the healing process.
I hope something I said helps. I abused cocaine for a full year, almost daily, back many years ago. I've been free from cocaine for nearly 20 years now, and never went back. In the end, I'm GRATEFUL for how horrible I felt when I detoxed off it, as it helped to keep me from relapsing with it. If I can help you with other questions, feel free to ask.
I appreciate it so much that you took the time to write all of this.
Do you have an email or something I contact to you to ask more questions?
Yes, I've been clean off of it for months I have a very strong mind set so I do believe things will get better but at times I have nothing but time to think about how good of a life I had and I can't live everyday like I used to. I used to be full of energy, talkative and so fun and now when I get out I feel so zoned out or I just feel very high like I smoked a lot of pot or something. All of that makes me think that I'll never be able to go back to normal because I've been through A LOT of stuff but nothing near to the feeling I have felt.. Also, It's hard for me to sleep. And if I do sleep, I wake up really, really early. And I always mucus in the back of my throat when I wake up and my mouth is always really dry and I feel like I have bad breath all the time when I never felt this way..
Someone, I would really try hard to calm down. I read Ruth's response and it seemed so perfect. (Ruth, you impress me so much with every post. They are always so caring, while being so full of knowledge and good information). I did cocaine and speed for about 9 months about 20 or more years ago. It was the crash, the feeling after the coke or speed wore off, that finally made me stop. I realized then what a strong effect on the brain it had. I couldnt believe how I could go from feeling normal to being so manic, 'UP' and euphoric, to being so deadly depressed, all within such a very short time. The pit of the stomach misery together with the strong craving for more caused me to end up in detox and stop. My main thing was always opiates with its awful addiction and withdrawal syndrome but coke and speed seem to have a stronger and more intense effect on the brain. Your brain is still not fully healed. Don't worry so much and give it time. It will get better.
Wishing you the best.
You are welcome to email me at ARTIST658@aol.com. I'll try to help however I can. I was wondering, is there anything else you are using, since stopping the cocaine? It could be that another drug is interfering with your healing, making matters worse...