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Can someone help me before my life spirals out of control...
  1. #1
    moneymike2132 is offline New Member
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    Default Can someone help me before my life spirals out of control...

    Hi, my name is Mike. Recently, my thoughts of anxiety have been growing. Its getting to the point where I am afraid to go on a job interview (lol right?). I dont know why it is that I have it so bad all of a sudden, especially when I never had it for the first 18 years of my life.

    I used to just smoke weed, which was perfect for me. But then I started doing crazy ???? with my friends like E-pills and painkillers. The after effects of the E-pills had me feeling so weird that I lost my concept of life it seemed like. I just felt so lost (still do kinda and its year+ later). Those things are really dangerous, and they left me feeling so weak and vulnerable after that thats when my problems really started.

    I deff think they gave me a slow growing anxiety as an after effect. Either that or all those damn vicodins (I know they give you anxiety too)...Either way, I developed anxiety, which I was a complete stranger to before I started experiencing with harder drugs.

    When I started my first year of college (something me and my friends always looked foward to with the girls/parties whatnot), I couldn't even handle it. I got off the bus with heavy anxiety and every day it would grow and pretty soon I had to drop out. I just couldn't handle not being on my best standards with all the girls around.

    I since have not even THOUGHT about getting a job because I feel that will bring on anxiety as well. I basically just do nothing, rotting away in my room ocasionally seeing friends but for the most part just doing nothing, smoking weed, growing older doing nothing of importance. Not how I thought my life would be at this age, and that gives me even more anxiety. My family just doesn't understand, but I don't want to tell them about my anxiety.

    I HAVE, since tried to take actions into my own hands treating the anxiety. I asked my doctor for a prescription of Wellbutrin, after a short study on the computer led me to believe it would help curb my anxiety.

    Well, it didn't. In fact I think it made it 10 times worse. For a short time I wasn't sure if it was helping or not but as soon as I realized it was giving me MORE anxiety, I threw it right out. I now take deep breaths everywhere I go out in the public, I have visible anxiety. ???? Wellbutrin.

    But I don't know what to do. Overcoming my anxiety mentally (without drugs) is out of the question for me. I have tried and tried and tried and have felt no progress. Don't tell me I can do it, cause I can't. I need a good drug. Drugs got me into this mess so I need drugs to get me out of it. And most therapists don't know ???? around here.

    Recently I just cannot take it anymore. I have started doing what I kinda swore off again, which is taking perscription drugs. Because they help me with my anxiety, greatly. If I take 1 vicodin I can go the whole day feeling perfectly normal and have no anxious feelings basically feeling the same way I did before any of these problems started. And I like it. I like it a lot. I love vicodin/perciset. They make me feel like me again. But I know that if I keep doing them it will become A) Harder to gain effect from each one & B) will lead to more anxiety once they are not at my disposal. Yet I love them. I would pop them right now if I had them. In fact, I have been calling my guy for the past 2 days for them but hes not picking up right now.

    But I know I don't want to get hooked on them. I have heard stories, and seen people who have become dependant on painkillers and they don't look very good. And neither do I, the more I keep doing them (except while I'm on them).

    What I'm asking is, what is a real drug I can depend on for my anxiety. Because I know these PK's are not wonder drugs, and I WILL end up worse if I keep doing them. But I also can't keep living this life of hell everyday, I will do any drug to relinquish my anxiety, even if it meens dieing early. I just cannot live with this anxiety it is killing me faster in my opinion.

    Does anyone want to name a couple drugs they've had success or know brings success. Or should I keep doing painkillers, if thats what helps me. Either way I gotta do something I don't think anyone can overcome this kind of anxiety mentally. And its no way to live. So I gotta do something, I am actually sinning if I don't.

    Can someone with more knowledge on this kind of situation answer my question or elaborate please?

  2. #2
    moneymike2132 is offline New Member
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    Default

    Please help?

  3. #3
    disabledleo is offline Member
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    Default this is not the place

    This in my opinion & yrs of being on here the place people just throw names of drugs out to people sorry. Sounds to me you need to be straight with someone in your life or doctor & get the help you need.
    We all are dealing with problems & everyone handles medications differently so good luck & just be ready to try a bunch to find something that helps. I've been on all of them over 12 yrs & all the crazy people meds made me even crazier.... Guess the pain has driven me MAD & no pill for what I have
    Good luck

  4. #4
    moneymike2132 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by disabledleo View Post
    This in my opinion & yrs of being on here the place people just throw names of drugs out to people sorry. Sounds to me you need to be straight with someone in your life or doctor & get the help you need.
    We all are dealing with problems & everyone handles medications differently so good luck & just be ready to try a bunch to find something that helps. I've been on all of them over 12 yrs & all the crazy people meds made me even crazier.... Guess the pain has driven me MAD & no pill for what I have
    Good luck
    Damn dawg that doesn't sound too hopefull. But thanks for giving your input atleast.

  5. #5
    Anonymous Guest

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    Hi Mike
    Just about everyone in my family has had panic disorder, At one point in my life I would not leave my house....there is not one magic bullet but many things to try.
    your Doctor can help a little if you can find one that knows about panic disorder.
    I went to doctors for about a year and then got tired of it and started reading books on panic disorder...my first step was to open the door the next was to take one step outside...would love to talk more to you about this if you want ..
    Melinda

  6. #6
    disabledleo is offline Member
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    Default well sorry

    I could try & list every rx I've been on BUT it would be way too much to list. It would be easier & shorter to list what they haven't tried.
    Right now the only thing that gives me any help what so ever after everything else tried like I said in 12 yrs is mass dose of xanax & several other things at night to give me a few hours if lucky of sleep.
    My problems are pain & non-stop pain even while on rx'd ridiculous doses of oxycontin & several other pain killers with it I still was in pain so I'm not a good person to look for help with my chemestry & the way my body reacts or lack of to meds.
    I'm just trying to tell you to get some help somewhere & there are a lot of things to try for your problems. Might want to figure out the "ROOT" cause of your anxiety & go from there.
    There are no magical pills out there.... But if you find somethiing that helps GREAT & let me know & maybe I haven't tried it??

    Wish I could be of more help

  7. #7
    disabledleo is offline Member
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    Default Melinda is top notch

    I think you just got an offer you should not refuse Mikke... Melinda is the 1 that will help you more with this. If the 2 of you come up with someothing I will keep a watch & if it works I might try also.
    Good luck & she knows her stuff so LISTEN TO HER!!!!

  8. #8
    shybaybe2003 is offline Senior Member
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    I too suffer from severe anxiety with full blown panic attacks. When I was abusing pills, They were making it so much worse. I had been on every SSRI antidepressant and a few others. After getting off the pills for over a month now and being prescibed a new antidepressant, My anxiety is all but gone. IT is not easy to do and I know you do not want to hear it, but the pain pills WILL make things worse. With me I was using vics also and other pills. At first it took away ALL anxiety and I felt on top of the world. AS my usage increased to ungodly amounts, I started having SEVERE painic attacks while being ON the vics. Its like it saeemed to help at first, then turned on me.
    I hope everything turns out for you. I know how hellish it is dealing with severe aNXIETY.

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