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Can I ever feel normal again?
Can I ever feel normal again?
After being on opiates for so long, does anyone feel like they just can't live without them? That you can't just act "normal" around people? That you simply can't even FEEL normal whatsoever? Even after the withdrawal symptoms wear off...how do you cope with the emotional part of this? I feel as if I will never truly be happy again. I know that's just the addict talking, or the drugs, but I honestly think after being on 240 mg of Oxycontin a day, my brain will never function properly again. Does anyone else feel like this? I am just depressed every single day now.
Yes, Tawny it's very hard. I was taking up to 400mg of oxycontin a day. I can relate exactly to how you feel. I had to get into methadone maintenance treatment and it has saved my life in so many ways. I just wasn't at the point where I could beat it on my own. Are you off now? How long were you addicted? I'm living proof there is a light at the end of the tunnel. However it is extremely hard. You're not alone.
What you are experiencing is classic signs of withdrawal from narcotics, Tawny - so I think most of us here can relate to those feelings! When we are addicted, our brains and bodies simply don't do what they were meant to do. They have adjusted how they operate to accommodate the drug. In other words, we have become used to the drugs making us operate "normally."
Originally Posted by tawny1685
Good news is, the damage isn't permanent. Given time away from the drugs, our bodies DO heal. The natural chemistry of the brain returns, and we can again experience normal ("good") emotions. We have handicapped our brains to be unable to flow freely with the "feel good" natural chemicals they secrete, like endorphins, dopamine or seratonin. ALL that does return - but only after we STOP the narcotics, for good.
Hello Artist658. If i may ask how long were you on medication and how mutch.Also how long did it take you before you felt that you could function. You see i feel like Tawny1685 and productivity is difficult. Thankyou Brian.
Everyone is a bit different partly because recovery is so individual and some of it depends on what you were abusing, for how long, and how much you were taking. The body just needs time to heal. What helps me is that I keep telling myself that I'm healing. If you broke your leg, it would be awful but you'd know better than to spend time wondering how long before the cast comes off. When it's healed, it's healed. I know that this sounds so simplistic but sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do. The long and short of it is that I don't think anyone can tell you when you're going to climb outta your funk. Just know that you will. Try not to focus on it. Stay busy with something you enjoy. I always tell myself if I can just get through the rest of today, I'll be one day closer.
I'm sorry that this probably isn't much help. We all so despartely want someone to tell us that we'll be all better in a month, or two, just give us the answer. I don't think there is an answer except that YOU WILL HEAL AND FEEL BETTER. Every day you get through, you are one day closer.
Im sorry Catrina i was optimistic i wanted to ask Artist a few quistion's. Maybe when she get's back on here she can answer me Brian.
The short answer to your question is YES, you will feel normal again. The longer version is unfortunately there is no way to tell how long it might take. After going through withdrawal, we go through something called PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) which is a collection of various longer lasting symptoms, a big one being depression and difficulty sleeping and/or concentrating and just an all around inability to function properly. It can take several months to get over PAWS. I've often wondered over the years if it was possible to ever go back to "normal. When using opiates, the drug starts taking over for the brain in making the chemicals that make us feel good. When we stop, the brain is shocked by then begins to heal and starts to make endorphins on its own. The longer one has used, the more hard core the drug of choice,, the longer it takes to heal. But little by little, the brain goes back to its natural state. Exercise is definitely a very good way to get the endorphins flowing naturally. Time and patience is what need.
i just read a article that states the with taking subutex you dont have to wait hours b 4 dosing . only if uve been on methadone or >>>>>> or morphine...but not lortabs
Do these natural chemicals start to return while youre on suboxone? Im currently using 1mg per day of suboxone and was wondering if my endorphins, and others are currently building back.
Originally Posted by ARTIST658
Suboxone is an opiate, just like any other except that as you taper off the pills at a steady pace, your brain starts to heal at the same steady pace.
I wish I could say there is a hard and fast time table for the recovery process. For me, I abused a variety of painkillers - whatever the doctor(s) offered me! - over the course of over 10 years when I first got clean. I had also taken benzo medications (klonopin, xanax, etc.) - so what happened for me may not be the same as the next person. I did not have ONE drug of choice. I had a motto, "If I'm not near the drug I love, I love the drug I'm near!"
For me, the first month was the rockiest, naturally. Then the entire first year did seem like a different world to me, in many ways.... it was a roller coaster of emotions. I didn't feel like I fit in - it was awkward being around others for a while. I felt like I was just acting. It had been a long time since I'd been in social situations without some chemical in me. It takes some time to relearn it - but it isn't long. NA meetings helped - there I was around others who had struggled with social situations as well... so they didn't judge me or my awkwardness. I could be myself, whatever that was right then.
No, the natural brain chemistry can NOT be restored until ALL narcotics are out of our body, including suboxone. [I'm sorry to say that, but it's true.] Suboxone binds to the same opiate receptors that our drug of choice bonded to. I can't find my research papers right now to explain it - but basically, the bonding of the narcotics blocks the reuptake of the dopamine (and the seratonin, too - but I am not sure of that right now). So our brains are overloaded with this free-floating dopamine, and unable to utilize it. It isn't that these chemicals are not present -- in fact, they are there more than usual! It's that our body has "forgotten" how to use them, blocking their natural passage through our brain.
What truly hastened my recovery was the work I put into it. I couldn't just stop the drugs -- and then just sit and wait to feel better. I had to get active in my recovery, even when I didn't feel like it. I got up off my >>>> and walked... and walked... and just tried to pump up my natural endorphins best I could. I didn't like exercise - but I learned that I liked what it did for me, emotionally. I just took the suggestion of others who had tried it - took a chance it may help - and found out it really did.
And I dove into NA and AA meetings as passionately as I dove into my drugs. That's where my attitude really turned around. I swear, it defies explanation how those meetings help... I believe it to be almost a spiritual thing. (No, it isn't some mystic cult... ha!) It gave me HOPE, above all - hope for a better life - hope for a successful recovery. I saw that others were doing it - I saw the changes in them even before I could see them in me - and I wanted that. I trusted that if they could turn themselves around, then maybe, just maybe, I could, too.
Recovery IS progressive - just as addiction is progressive. But what determines the strength of our recovery is the action and attitude we put into it. I couldn't wait until I felt like doing something positive -- I had to just do the action, in spite of my feelings of reluctance, lethargy or depression -- and the resulting lift in attitude occurred all on its own.
A counselor had helped me at the time, when he put to me like this, "Change the behavior, and the feelings will follow on their own." Something I still do, today.
All the best,
Thankyou for your explanation Ruth. I jus't have two more question's for you. How meny mgs of opiats were you taking per day and how long have you been clean. Brian
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