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Came clean with my doctor
  1. #1
    money_chick is offline Member
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    Default Came clean with my doctor

    I haven't told you this, but I'vebeen hitting the pain pills really hard. As many as 4 at a time, and yesterday I thought I might have od'd. I got terribly ill- shaking, confused and then passed out. I knoew I had to do something, so I called my doctor.


    I told him what i had been doing, how I didnt doctor shopped but did buy off the street. I told him how many a day, and for how long. I told him that I had even tried smoking pot and still couldn't stop and how bad the depression was now even when I used.

    I thought he might just throw me out of the office, but he didnt. Instead he asked me had I thought of sub, and i told him yes, I was trying to get in with a good doctor.

    He got out his prescription pad and gave me this:

    Darvon 100 mg 1-2 each dose, 4x a day the first 4 days, beginning tomorrow
    Clonidine, 1-2 times a day. Took my down on my other BP med to 25 mg of lopressor.
    Lotomil as needed
    Xanax, .5 mg 4x a day first four days.
    Prozac 20 mg starting tonight.


    he told me to keep this up at least 4 days, and see how I felt and call him and he would adjust as we needed too.

    I just started to cry. I told him I expected him to toss me out and he said why? Do you think I want you to die? He said he wanted me to have success at this and I needed help. If I was willing to put in the work, he would help me till they got my sub appointment and induction.

    As for my CP, he said he would enevr just 'cut me off' all opiates. He said if I have flare ups, he will work with me through daily pick-ups and pill counts till we can get me off again.

    I can't believe it, but I feel so relieved knowing I wont be sick. I came straight home and fluched my oxy and hydro.


    You guys gave me the courage to at least try this, and I can not thank you enough.

  2. #2
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    I am really happy to hear you doing this. You are so depressed and the oxy only make it worse in high doses. We isolate, feel sorry for ourselves, all that good stuff.

    Most drs are pretty good if we are really honest and shoot straight with them. It isn't their job to judge us morally for what we do. They are supposed to help us. They just get mad when people lie to them just like you and I do. That is human.

    The clonidine is good for detox. Just make sure your pressure is elevated before taking too much. The cocktail of meds he prescribed will help you a lot. Know you will be online through this. Good luck.

  3. #3
    bev49 is offline Banned
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    I give you so much credit for doing what you did, MC. It had to be really difficult and frightening. Thankfully, it sounds like you have a really great doctor. They arent always so easy to find. You took the first step which is the biggest. I'm going through a depression too and it really sucks. Please let me know how the prozac works for you. I'm considering trying an antidepressant also. Good luck and I know you'll do great !

  4. #4
    money_chick is offline Member
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    Thank you both for the replies. I think I did the righ thing. Whats surprising is that my doctor is not a 'nice' doctor, but he's the one I have. So when I say I thought he my just push me out the door I really mean it.

    I have a busy, busy weekend. My kids need school clothes, supplies, etc. I have to go buy tires for my truck, get the girls hair and nails done and do some things for my grandparents. I hope these meds make all that possible.

    Doc had said that I could take my 10's I had and if I started to feel very bad, add one half (ONLY) to my dose of darvon. He said I could do that one or two times a day. But I just couldnt see me being able too, so down the tiolet they went. I did get up and take my meds like he told me.

    Today is the first day with no oxy or hydro with my last dose being 5 mg hydro at 2 yesterday. All day yesterday I only took 4 pills (40 mg) Using Darv means I'm not clean, but at least when I get up tomorrow, I'll remember today. LOL.

    I am a little dizzy, and I hope that passes soon. I can just let my oldest daughter drive today if I need too.

    I'll keep you updated.

  5. #5
    sisterwin2 is offline Senior Member
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    Congrats!!!!!!

    You will not be sorry. I am the biggest sissy when it comes to pain and the Suboxone has done well for me....
    I started off rough but thanks to this forum I am going to be a success. I will watch for your post to hear how well your doing.

  6. #6
    money_chick is offline Member
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    Its sunday, day two with just the darvon and xanax, and I feel ok. Still dizzy- but I can handle that.

    This is actually working. I'm not sick! Yay! I am feeling so much better than I have in weeks, using. I feel almost naturally high. Maybe its the xanax? lol... Actually ended up taking only a half of one of them yesterday.

  7. #7
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by money_chick View Post
    Its sunday, day two with just the darvon and xanax, and I feel ok. Still dizzy- but I can handle that.

    This is actually working. I'm not sick! Yay! I am feeling so much better than I have in weeks, using. I feel almost naturally high. Maybe its the xanax? lol... Actually ended up taking only a half of one of them yesterday.



    Glad you are doing so well. I'm sure the xanax is helping you even at a small dose. Benzos help a lot during w/d. So what day are you starting on the suboxone???

  8. #8
    money_chick is offline Member
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    Not sure what day yet. Since they are working me in, they said I wouldnt get much notice, probably jusy a few hours. But I will let you know when it happens.

    Still so amazed I'm not even a little bit sick. You would think as much heavy opiates I was taking the darvocet wouldnt do the trick.

  9. #9
    sisterwin2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by money_chick View Post
    Not sure what day yet. Since they are working me in, they said I wouldnt get much notice, probably jusy a few hours. But I will let you know when it happens.

    Still so amazed I'm not even a little bit sick. You would think as much heavy opiates I was taking the darvocet wouldnt do the trick.
    After I read a post with the person wd 'ing from Meth in 8 days, up, eating and sleeping. I can believe just about anything.

  10. #10
    bev49 is offline Banned
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    I can't figure that one out sis... How can someone come off 50 mgs. and be fine within a week.... I wish I knew his trick.

  11. #11
    money_chick is offline Member
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    Well, I'm still feeling fine.

    I cant believe I'm not in wds even wth these meds. Lets face it, darvon isnt a replacement for oxy...lol.

    I do have some cravings, but I'm staying busy. The good news, no great news, is that the depression is lifting alot.

    the bad news is, I had to drop a few friends, one of which Ive had for over 10 years. She was my connect and she is into much harder drugs than me, and I was headed there. I miss her and she's terribly angry.


    Angry enough to bust the windows out of my car last night. I just feel really heartbroken over where the drugs have taken her, but I won't respond in anyway. I told her that yesterday morning when we talked. That I just couldnt be involved with her anymore.

    So that made me pretty sad.

  12. #12
    CPhT-Robert is offline Junior Member
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    Good Luck and keep up the good work.. Its good to see someone in the right path... I see *so* many people going in the wrong path everyday

  13. #13
    sisterwin2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by money_chick View Post
    Well, I'm still feeling fine.

    I cant believe I'm not in wds even wth these meds. Lets face it, darvon isnt a replacement for oxy...lol.

    I do have some cravings, but I'm staying busy. The good news, no great news, is that the depression is lifting alot.

    the bad news is, I had to drop a few friends, one of which Ive had for over 10 years. She was my connect and she is into much harder drugs than me, and I was headed there. I miss her and she's terribly angry.


    Angry enough to bust the windows out of my car last night. I just feel really heartbroken over where the drugs have taken her, but I won't respond in anyway. I told her that yesterday morning when we talked. That I just couldnt be involved with her anymore.
    So that made me pretty sad.
    I think that was the hardest thing about getting clean when I was younger. I had to move from my neighborhood...... I was born in that house but if I would of stayed I would have used. It was habit for my friend to come by and use there.... When I got clean they just didnt share the urgency of NOT getting high infront of me. After yrs... I did meet up with a few of my old friend who grew up and got clean. You will meet new friends and when time goes by you may be able to hook up again. I did find that I just didnt have much in common after a few yrs. Sorry for you sadness... it will get better

    Sister

  14. #14
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by money_chick View Post
    Well, I'm still feeling fine.

    I cant believe I'm not in wds even wth these meds. Lets face it, darvon isnt a replacement for oxy...lol.

    I do have some cravings, but I'm staying busy. The good news, no great news, is that the depression is lifting alot.

    the bad news is, I had to drop a few friends, one of which Ive had for over 10 years. She was my connect and she is into much harder drugs than me, and I was headed there. I miss her and she's terribly angry.


    Angry enough to bust the windows out of my car last night. I just feel really heartbroken over where the drugs have taken her, but I won't respond in anyway. I told her that yesterday morning when we talked. That I just couldnt be involved with her anymore.

    So that made me pretty sad.

    Hey girl. It's the 17th and haven't heard from you since the 12th. Are you still alive? Just checking on you to make sure you are okay. Let us know whats up.

  15. #15
    money_chick is offline Member
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    Default Alive

    I'm here, sorry to leave you hanging. I just didnt have internet access for a bit.

    Still on the meds from my doc, minus the clonidine and darvon.

    I was unable to see the sub doc, since my husband decided to file for divorcce. Our insurance wont pay, and I just cant afford it.

    But I am doing ok, just taking day by day. Maybe I can do it this time.

    I'm so disappointed about the sub.

  16. #16
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by money_chick View Post
    I'm here, sorry to leave you hanging. I just didnt have internet access for a bit.

    Still on the meds from my doc, minus the clonidine and darvon.

    I was unable to see the sub doc, since my husband decided to file for divorcce. Our insurance wont pay, and I just cant afford it.

    But I am doing ok, just taking day by day. Maybe I can do it this time.

    I'm so disappointed about the sub.

    That is such total BS. I can't believe people get away with that. Both times I divorced I had to carry insurance on my spouse until our divorce was final. And they both had jobs too. Maybe I am just "easy." I didn't even think about leaving the person I had been married to for years without insurance. I mean a bunch of years together should be worth something. Maybe I am confused. I know in TX a spouse can carry the other spouse on insurance even during a divorce until its final. That really sucks that the person you were married to would drop you off the insurance. I would be pi$$ed.

  17. #17
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    OOOOPS. I reread the post and see I misunderstood. The insurance doesn't cover it and its the divorce that is leaving you in a bind. I understand now. I was just rushing too much and didn't read it properly. Sorry.

  18. #18
    money_chick is offline Member
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    That way funny, Robert. Although, he has left me and my kids pretty much with nothing. It isn't fair, but whatever he wants to do.... as long as he leaves me alone.

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