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For Anyone Suffering From Narcotic Withdrawals...please help me
For Anyone Suffering From Narcotic Withdrawals...please help me
I don't know how I got here. Actually I do. I have had a problem with pain killers for a few years now. Started off very mild in my opinion. I would just take like 2 a day. I quit for about a year and it was hard but I did it. I had another child 7 months ago and started up again because they gave me energy, patience, and drive. It sounds very sad I know, but it's the truth. The day before yesterday I had a pharmacist tell me she called my dr and told her I was abusing them. It caught me off guard and scared the ???? out of me. She did not fill it and I have been without anything since. I was taking at most 5-6 a day (5/325) of vic or oxy.
Here is my problem. I am a mother and cannot tell a soul in my life about this. I can't. NO ONE will understand. They will just judge and call me a drug addict. I feel lucky that I don't have a deeper addiction and that I have the urge to quit. I know that my situation could be alot worse as I have seen and read. I love my children more than anything else and want to stop for them.
Because I have been here before (detox) I know that this is hard. I can't be in bed all day. It is not possible with three children. Today I have no energy, no willpower, no hope and am a wreck. Alot of people expect alot from me. I don't have an option to take a week off from them. My back is in throbbing pain and I am walking around my house looking at the mess and feeling like I can do nothing. I end up going back to the same spot and sitting down feeling miserable. I want nothing more than to get up and clean. To go walk around the block. To go to the store. It's taking everything I have just to write this and I am sitting down and putting forth very little physical effort. Some of you may think I am a weenie. I am, very much so. Pain and discomfort is not tolerated well by me. I don't know if I can handle this...
hello and welcome to the forum. that pharmicist may, and probably has done u the best thing in the world by cailing the doctor and refusing to give u any meds. they are sometimes viewed as the bad guys, but they have a moral obligation to do what they did. i had the same thing happen to me (many many times) and it was the best for me also.
it's very important to understand that u ARE an addict. u always will be now, but u can recover from it and go on to lead a normal life free of drugs. u just have to really WANT IT bad enough. we can give u all the advice, suggestions, and support u need here, but until u WANT to get clean it won't make much difference.
u have been almost 3 days without any narcotics and that is awesome. u probably don't think so right now, but it really is. a couple more days and u will begin to feel so much better, physically. then the mental games begin and u will have to deal with that.
take this opportunity u have been given and run with it. do it for ur kids, and more importantly do it for urself. most everyone here has been exactly where u are right now. i certainly have, many times in fact. it sux, but u only have to do this one time if u do it the right way. just don't pick up that first pill again.
i tell most people to view this as a fight, a fight for ur life. the drugs want u back, and u want ur life back so who will win this fight? give it all u have in u. get mad at those drugs for putting u in this position in the first place. deal with the symptoms as they come up and know that they all will pass on their own shortly.
ur habit while certainly not good is actually not that bad in terms of how much u were using and for how long. it is repairable if u truly want it. google the "thomas recipe" as it has many supplements and vitamins that will help with symptoms. don't use the benzo's suggested in it. get up and get moving even if u say u can't. sitting around and watching the clock makes minutes seem like hrs. listen to ur favorite music will help so much. and get out and make urself take that walk u want to do. u need to get ur natural endorphins moving because the drugs have had them surpressed for so long. take hot baths and/or showers. just do what u have to do but don't take another pill. as the endorphins get moving u will begin to feel much better so get moving ans stay moving.
u CAN do this. most of us here have and i can personally tell u this may be the hardest thing u have ever done in ur life, but it will also be the most rewarding. living clean every day and waking up and NOT having to take a pill to get going is the best feeling in the world. do it now before it's too late. ur kids deserve the best u have. and so do u. take care and best wishes.
here's the link to the thomas recipe i mentioned. use it to ur advantage as it really does help. like i said u won't need the benzo's in it.....
Kicker pretty much nailed it... This addiction thing bites you. But the good news is you can use this place as your own place to find peace. The people on here are great and will guide you through this.. 5 days... you know the drill. But for now, just focus on the symptoms and treating them... All the worries etc... shut them out and focus on the next second. I have been here for 3 and a half years.. I was where you are.. In a place where I could tell NO ONE... I had no one and just wanted it to be better.. WElp, it takes time, but with the right attitude, if I can do it so can you. So, welcome. All my best, Reid
Why do I feel like I will never be happy again? It blows my mind that one tiny little pill can make me feel so much better. I have been in such a horrible mood for the last few days and I hate it. I am so mean and miserable to be around. I don't even want to be around myself. Will this really go away and will I really be happy again? Will I always be in this much physical pain? My back feels like it's going to snap in half.
Kikker, thank you so much for your reply. You don't know how much it is appreciated. You guys on here will be the only people I will be able to talk to about this. I fear the times when I will want to take them again and will start thinking about how to get them. I was so mad the other day when the pharmacist did that. I kept thinking that if she wouldn't have done that I would have had 20 percocet in my hand. I never think about what to do when I run out of those...only about how happy it will make me for those few days. I guess that is why I am an addict.
Thanks Reid. It is truly appreciated. I keep telling myself that I AM going to do this and that I will never do it again. Easier said than done. If I could just see the future and know that this will pass...
i can see a bit of the future for u if u continue to take the pills. they will take most everything from u that u love. possibly ur home, ur job, ur car, most of ur money and maybe even eventually ur kids and ur life. i lost so much myself as did lots of other here....
lost my girl. my home, my car, sent most of my friends and family members away from me and nearly died several times before i finally WANTED IT bad enough. u may think u have it under control at some point but the truth is the drugs want u to believe u have things under control. the drugs are ALWAYS in control if u continue to use and abuse them. it just won't stop until YOU STOP IT.
If you were only getting 20 at a time from your doctor then you were taking more than you were prescribed at 5-6 a day. Where were you getting the rest of your pills? That's another way of looking at quitting. Were you getting them off the street? Or from another doctor? Yup. That's what makes you an addict, but you are not so out of control that you can't put the brakes on! You need to stop before you end up dead or in jail at some point. It's only been a few months, how many are you going to need to get that same feeling in a year? 2 years? If you even think you can use again even one, you are lying to yourself. I hope this is a wake up call for you, and I mean that seriously. You can do this and do it now before this habit strangles you.
Originally Posted by noelleme
Just had lunch with my husband and it did not go well. I shouldn't have gone but I don't get to eat lunch with him that often so I accepted. I unleashed on him and we got into a big argument and he left. Not good. I wish he understood what I was going through right now. I am in a tremendous amount of pain and am sweaty, weak and at my wits end.
Anyway I was getting prescriptions from different Drs. I have never bought them off the street. The Pharmacist looked up my info and called the Dr who wrote the most recent script. She told her not to fill it and called me saying that she would never prescribe them again.
I wish there was something I could take to make the physical pain go away. My body is aching all over and especially my back. I have always had back problems and pain killers have always helped with the pain. Not only that but they helped me to be a happier, more fun and active person. How can I get that without the use of these opiates?????
I wanted to ask everyone something else. Every Dr that I have ever seen has made me feel that asking for pain relief is a crime. Does anyone else get angry when they think about it? Don't Doctors understand that the medicine they are giving us is making the pain go away? Isn't that the point of them? How could we not ask for more when we feel this way after not taking them for a few days?? They always told me..."now this is a prescription for short term but we are not going to do this for a long period of time". I just don't get it. That is like saying "now I'm just going to give your this anti-depressant for a month but then you have to get off of it". They wouldn't do that to anyone so why would they think that by giving us a prescription for only a month will make it all better forever. I understand that people abuse it (including me) but who wants to be immobile because they are in pain?
You were doctor shopping and that is a crime. Probably why you felt that way.
narcotic pain pills are meant to be prescribed and used for SHORT TERM of a few days up to a few weeks time in cases like after surgeries and for acute injuries, broken bones, and surgeries. they are really intended for long term for those with fatal diseases like cancer and tumors.
drs aren't going to risk losing their medical license by giving out huge amt of pills to someone that really doesn't need them. i had a very serious injury that required a major surgery. i hounded my doctor(s) for months to give me percocets, fentanyl patches, and vicodin and finally they refused. i did like u and went from doctor to doctor and was finally caught and turned in by a pharmicist, and other doctors.
once i was off the pills for a while i discovered my pain was not what i believed it to be. i didn't NEED narcotics, i just WANTED THEM and was addicted and would then do anything to get more. i was mad and angry all the time too. it never stopped until i lost everything.
u have been 3 days without pills. give it a little more time and see for urself if u REALLY NEED THE PILLS FOR PAIN or if u just want them to get thru the day.....mentally.
u also said u would take maybe 2 a day in ur first post and even quit for a year. do u have a injury or medical condition that requires long-term use of narcotics? i'm not judging u at all. u mentioned the back issues, but do u honestly believe it requires long term narcotic pain relief or do u just love the pills that much? again, i'm not judging u at all.
u need to ask urself that question and be honest. i had to do the same. i'm clean now and truly enjoying life as it should be done. i take hardly anything for pain now and if i do it's usually motrin or a small amt of tylenol and that works just fine. aleve also helps. think it over ok.
I was in the ER multiple times for breast, abdominal and back pain after my daughter was born. One of my breasts was swollen, red and not pretty. Sorry to be so gross, but it's the truth. I have always had terrible back pain but kikker you are right, I didn't HAVE to have the narcotics. I will survive without them but they DO make the pain go away.
Today is my second day without them. I did not have any yesterday or today. Like I said, I have always had back problems but right now my back feels like it's going to crack and ibuprofen 600 has not helped. Should I go to the store and get some aleve? I still take a prenatal vitamin (it's the only ones I have) and also took some B6. I will get some of the L-Tyrosine today at whole foods. Will this back pain get better in the days to come? Did I destroy my pain receptors?
I had gotten some from my primary care and from my OBGYN. I had also gotten them from different Drs but same hospital ER.
no, u didn't destroy ur pain receptors. they will repair themselves in time. i'm not saying u need to go to the store for some aleve either. u see as addicts we feel the need to be constantly taking something, anything, and lots of it too. so when ur off the narcotics u may find urself reaching for something else as it's a huge habit to break.
we have to get away from that kind of thinking. our bodies are very resiliant and can repair itself for the most part barring a large medical issue of course. ask the doctor for alternatives to help with ur back pain. and confess to them that ur an addict and u don't ever want narcotics again. if ur really serious u can and will do that.
i recently had both my appendix and gall bladder out within a couple weeks of each other. i admitted to the doctors and surgeons that i was an addict. sure it was hard, but i was so proud that i was able to do that.
after the surgery i had to refuse the scripts for narcotics that they wrote me for home use. i was even prouder of that. and i didn't suffer either. sure i had pain, and lots of it, but i took 800 motrins along with tylenol together and that was all i needed. we can handle lots more real pain than we think we can on most occasions. not all of course, but most we really can if we dig deep.
i've got to run for a bit...be on later maybe.
hang in there ok....u CAN do this thing.
'kikker' why so hard core on the benzo part of this. its definately helped a lot of people out while detoxing. just curious why you advise to use thomas recipe but not the benzos.?
Originally Posted by Kikker
im asking, because it was me gettin some sleeping pills at the end of my sub taper that just made the difference for me. sure did.
Just a question: Is clonopin a benzo? If so, then they definitely helped me during w/d for sleep.
yup. its clonozepam. a member of the 'pam' family, which is benzos. diazepam is valium. clonazepam is klonopin.
i think they are a good thing. used in moderation of course. i couldnt get benzos, but my doctor gave me a limited amount of sleeping pills, which were a godsend for me. lack of sleep can be the breaking point when detoxing.
p.s not sure of exact spelling of clonazepam, which klonopin is a generic of. doesnt matter, you know what i mean.
Last edited by cheeky; 12-14-2012 at 06:45 AM.
i'm not hard core against benzo's per say. i just know how dangerous they are, and can be. of course they have their place in medicine IF they are used properly, and for a very short time. they are one of the most abused and addictive drugs out there.
Originally Posted by cheeky
i myself nearly died from them twice by mixing them with other meds like narcotics, opiates, and alcohol. most of the celebrity deaths we hear of and read about is because of mixing benzo's with other drugs....fact.
they CAN be very beneficial IF THEY ARE USED CORRECTLY and not abused....they do have their place and have helped lots of people deal with daily life. yes that's absolutely true.
when i suggest someone use the thomas recipe, in my own personal opinion, i believe it's in their best interest NOT to use any benzo meds AT THAT TIME. i believe they should see their doctor and have them decide if benzo's should be used. i will never advise anyone to take any kind of benzo during detox.
the thomas recipe is used for those coming off other drugs and in the detox phase and the last thing they usually need is another high-powered, ADDICTIVE drug to help get off other drugs. that's my personal opinion.
if someone feels the need to take the benzo's then so be it, but i will not suggest or recommend it. that's just me is all and my opinion of it.
Day 3...no sleep lastnight
Sounds about right. hang in there and remember, this too shall pass
Thank you for your support
No problem, i was where you were, so I understand.. .Only a few more days and then you will start to see moments of clarity.. Hope for them, look for them and as they come cherish them... Proud of you!
I think I am already seeing some clarity but my mood changes so rapidly...
It's crazy how the smallest of things aren't so cloudy anymore. Listening to Radiohead earlier and really hearing the music. Or driving and noticing how beautiful this world can be. There are times though when I drive by the pharmacy when I have bad feelings. I used to keep the meds in my mouth for a little while before I swallowed them so I miss that. Sounds crazy I know. When I got up this morning and was taking the L-Tyrosine and other vitamins I thought of how just a few days a ago I would have to take 2 of whatever I would have in hand just to get the day started. All very sad but true. How you can love and hate the same thing at the same time...
This very post tells me where your mindset is at. What's wrong with your back? Most people on this forum have some kind of pain issue: point being they wanted to be free from the drugs. You still like the way they made you feel. That is the main issue here. Using the amount of opiate that you were you should be coming over the top now. 5-6 pills at 5mg is around a 30mg. per day habit. That is not very much. Like I said in my earlier post: suck it up and get over it now before using destroys your life. You could go to jail for what you were doing: Dr. Shopping, look it up it's a FELONY, not something you want on your record, drug felonies stay on your record for life. It's easy to get caught doing this. Most doctors who prescribe narcotics to a patient regularly, run a report once or twice a year to make sure that you are not getting narcotics anywhere else. Whether you pay for them or run them through insurance every narcotic you are taking is on that sheet. This goes in you file. It keeps the Dr. safe from prosecution. Many Dr.'s will not prescribe pain medicine to anyone until they run a report. You need to consider yourself lucky, find something else to do and leave the pills alone. You should be over the worst of the physical w/d's. Go to NA. Learn how to cope w/o drugs.
Originally Posted by noelleme
Noel: Sorry to be so harsh above. If you read my posts way way back, I was in the same situation. You will get through this, you will become clearer and as you do you will be able to cope better. Hang Tough. No whining about not being able to get pills, be blessed that you can't.
Last edited by ddcmod; 12-15-2012 at 03:05 AM.
Iloerose, you don't have to apologize. Everything you said was right. I do feel very lucky that my situation was not worse and that I was not in deeper and that the worst thing that happened was that the pharmacist denied giving me any more. I thank God that I still have my family and my children. Especially on a day like today where so many innocent and precious lives have been taken. Today was rough and I cried alot but I expected that and realize that I will continue to struggle with this. I never want to go back. I have too much to lose and it's not worth it. I will take one day at a time and feel thankful that I am given one more day.
kc50, thank you so much!!
Last edited by ddcmod; 12-15-2012 at 03:05 AM.
Day 5...this is a rough one
you must be about over the worst tho mate, hang in there and things will start to improve...
keep active, the more exercise the better (yeh i know it sucks, but even a walk round the block) take your dog, and go for it.
good on ya
Noel... Congrats on day 6! Are you starting to feel better? I sure hope so. pop on and give us an update. Reid
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