[addict8]

Ok I have a history of abusing drugs unprescribed and otherwise. I'm not knew to Xanax(Alprazolam)or any Benzodiazepines, I have been on and off of the medication above and below, medication since I was thirteen for Anxiety related probs. I have also suffered extreme cases of the downs. But you might say more full on, I have been dubbed suicidal. I have also been prescribed Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Mood stabilizers, many of which I have abused along with wide usage of things like Marijuana and Alcohol mainly which have contributed to who I am now.I now suffer from the subject tittle and have been this way since I was 13, I am 20. Only just recently I had a really bad day and it went like this:

A month and a half ago I took some 48mg of Xanax2mg, 8600mg of Epilim200mg, a 375ml bottle of Vodka, left my gas tap on in my kitchen and lay unconcious on my bed after calling the Mental Health Team(MHT) that was meant to be looking after me, for some, at least 15-18 hours till the next day when the MHT called my sister(next of kin) telling her that I had called them and I had overdosed the day previous. My sister tells me the conversation went something like
Them "Hi -----. Have you see -ME- today"
Sister "No I haven't, why???"
Them "Your brother called us yesterday telling us that he'd just consumed all his remaining Xanax and Epilim"(They didn't know about the drink or the gas till they were filled in some by my sister)
My sister was horrified. She came around the same day,

Here is what I remeber of the awakening: my sister shaking me, speaking in a brash voice that I can't understand through the fog of thoughts slamming into me as I come to, the next thing I know is there are paramedics in my bedroom(at the time I did not know where I was and was fully freaked out, nor did I recognize any-one). No choice after the pills, Vodka and gas tap being on all night(1 bedroom unit closed) they took me into hospital I didn't fight them I couldn't even tell they where abulance officers.

My sister drove behind the ambulance I could see everything spinning and coming towards me but at the same time just felt like a piece of unskeletal flesh, unable to move anywhere. Not able to answer questions I was being asked. We arrived at the hospital apparently 3:00pm I actually have occassional flash backs that it was at night but anyway, I was a huge mess. I couldn"t walk, talk, communicate at all, could barely see, and have only what a flash back memory concealed opens up to me.

I ended up with going through 3 dripps in 6 hours, 4 the next 8 hours, then back to 3, then 2 over 8 hours, then I was released into the Psychiatric Ward some 2 days later(Released after 3 days). All in all I to this day don't know what happened to me on that day, yeah, I f*ck*d up big time, but in my mind I lost more than that together with what felt like 2 weeks)

Like liberty says if you f*uck with benzos be careful, if you f*uck with any meds at least for gods f*ck*ng sake know what you're doing. I nearly lost myself due to non-rememberance after 1 2mg Xanax, 3 Epilim 200mg, and 2 drinks of vodka, that's when I blacked out. Look after yourselves out there and remember there is always someone out there who wants you around, who loves you and so on and so forth, I mean I'm still a tripper but I am a lot more careful now then I was before.

Sorry about the lenght but this is my story...
If you wanna talk more please feel free to emailme at:
metalsledgehammer@hotmail.com...
THANX

This post above is also posted in Libertys Xanax forum, I doctored this, but hey I wrote it... so yeah tell me if you've had any really f*ck*d up days like this... I don't protrude into others business but if you want to discuss the subject with me further or just talk about this stuff, yeah. ^EMAIL^...

Don't be like me and F*ck things for yourselves or your families take care...

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