[Debpurpletiger]

OK.....I just don't get it, I really don't.

1.) I post my condition with my signature simply to be honest, and to let people know what I am dealing with, that's all

2.) YES, I was as active addict and went thru hell during that period of time.

3.) After 2 Dr.'s, 5 MRI's, a P/T consult, 2 Physiotherapy consults, 3 steroid injections, one trigger point injection, and 2 surgical consults, I have been told: This is a chronic, non-surgical problem that I have 2 options: One is Narcotics for the Chronic pain - pain that is so bad I can not get out of bed in the morning. Or two: suffer. I have been 100% HONEST on this board, I have told everyone my situation, and I have tried to offer any advice that I could.

4.) I still have not seen an "MD" after any of your names.....therefore, how do you feel you know better than all the Dr.'s I have seen? Do I ever get any credit for being honest? No.

5.) If there was a miracle pill or treatment that I could take that would allow me to function as a normal, pain free person, YES I would take it in a second. I KNOW I am on dangerous ground with my "recovering" Addict behavior and now needing chronic pain meds. However, with over a year clean, still going to N/A 2 to 3 times a week, having a wonderful family support system who knows ALL my History and is always on the lookout for the "relapse signs" because we all know, the RELAPSE itself is preceeded by many steps and behaviors, by my Dr.'s KNOWING my Addiction and what I have went through with it, with them counting my pills at every visit, with me NEVER taking more than prescribed...I think...no, I KNOW I am doing pretty damn good.

I KNOW there are more people in this world who are recovering addicts who are now in Chronic Pain...I am not the only one.

6.) By being straight up honest to you all instead of hiding and lying about my condition...I feel that deserves some damn credit.

I am NOT being defensive.....I just get real tired of trying to help a fellow poster in a situation and then having MYSELF get slammed for doing so.

Constructive critisism...I take it from you people every day...but when a person asks a question asking for help or advice, and I think I might have something to offer by speaking up.....it seems the subject switches IMMEDIATELY to ME and not to the person who asked for help.

I can't get any more Honest with you people than I have. If I have NOTHING to offer anyone, so be it. Skip by my replies. Your comments to me, do NOT help the original poster.....

But I have been to hell and back and have experience in some things and Damnit, what helps keep me sober is knowing that there ARE others in my situation and just maybe, can take a sentence or two from my reply. At the VERY LEAST, they will know someone is reading and caring.

I wish the best for you, Sarahjuanita, with your situation, and I am sorry your serious question got sidetracked by my situation.

Maybe I will just create a new account and say nothing about me at all...but you know what? If I asked advice, and someone answered me who also had/has some other issues, I would be thankful for their honestly. Because sometimes the only advice you can trust is from someone who has been there.

So, instead of attacking me...think about the Honesty I put in every post - I don't think a lot of active or recovering addicts would be so honest...and I can SURELY understand why. However, I KNOW that lying makes any slippery slope even more slippery...so I choose Honesty over lying, or lying by omission any day.

[htoth19]

Look, in my eyes, ***AND THIS IS MY OPINION*** I will not respond to anyone who chooses to attack me too- I honestly think, it takes a stronger person to have legitimate PAIN, and follow the DIRECTIONS on the bottles, day after day, and NOT take them to get high, NOT lie about any of it,NOT try to hide the fact that the pills ARE necessary, than a person who is forcing themselves to stay completely away from pills all together. IF a person who has serious drug history, and been to rehab, can end up with serious pain, be forced to take narcotics just to live a somewhat normal life, if this person can make herself follow the directions and not be tempted to take that 'extra pill', don't you guys think that maybe that takes a lot more strength than she's given credit for? I see from reading Deb's posts that she has been through some hell, I see that she has admitted to screwing up. But I also see a person who is trying to keep people from doing what she did in her past. Even with having to take narcotics now, having to deal with pain, following the directions takes more strength than just walking away, when in fact she has a legit reason to stay on them.
I'm sorry for your pain deb, I really am. I hope I worded this correctly, I am NOT trying to offend anyone. Everyone has they're own opinions, and I felt like I should let you know how strong I think you really are.
1 more thing, I don't see how anyone can attack her by saying she probably should keep her mouth shut since shes on the pills herself. She has a Reason to take them, and to take them correctly.

~Heather

[Debpurpletiger]

What more can I say but Thank you. You're exactly right. YES, I have screwed up in the past, and YES, if my (bad) experience can help just one person from NOT making the mistakes I have made (Dr. shopping, etc), that is my Intention.

Thank you for your words.....this had me really upset all afternoon and your post just made me feel a lot better....

[htoth19]

I'm glad it did. I really feel it takes one HELL of a strong person to be able to take pills by the Directions, having a past like yours. You certainly are a wonderful person. Strong as hell too, I can't say that enough. I can learn a lot from a person like you.
Don't let anybody get you down. It's never worth the fight.
I've learned that.
You are truly remarkable. Remember that.

~Heather

[Freedom4me]

I think I missed something. I wish I could offer some help but not really sure what happened. I hope it is resolved.

[Debpurpletiger]

I really can not say that enough.......

[Freedom4me]

Hey Deb,
I went and read the thread that you are referring to. I can honestly say that in my opinion, the other posters did not intend to hurt you. They were all very clear in saying that they didn't mean to be critical, they were simply expressing concerns. The folks who posted are really supportive of so many people here. I think they just had genuine concern for you and the amount of meds you are taking. But only you know your own body and your situation. I hope this doesn't deter you from posting in the future or make you hold a grudge. This forum is filled with people who are very accepting and who really try to help others. I think that maybe you got a little bit defensive and felt ganged up on. I don't think that was the intent. I hope you can just move on and continue offering support like you do. I think that's great. But please do me a favor and go back and read the posts with a softer I and I think you will see they had good intentions and said many times that they were not judging you. Just my thoughts, take them or leave them. You take care and have a great night.

[htoth19]

Jenny's right. Although, by the way you sounded, I really thought you needed a little bit of positivity. I did mean what I said though. No need for thanks. Just keep doing what you know is right, and standing up for what you believe in, I do. Even when I am wrong, and I have no problem admitting that, I still feel better taking a stand than sitting there quiet. I don't know you but I felt you needed to know that even though I am just one person, I see that you are strong, and doing great. Everyone needs a little encouragement.
Just a few kind words can mean the difference in someones entire way of thinking sometimes.

~Heather

[ARTIST658]

Dear Deb,

When you write that you were "slammed" and "attacked," it's clear that you did not 'hear' my words to you. I respectfully and compassionately spoke to you about concerns I had - and felt you may benefit from hearing.

I started to respond this morning with a lengthy post - outlining the extent of my own chronic, daily pain, that I deal with without narcotics or benzos (klonopin) - then stopped, and erased the post. I don't want to get into a pissing contest here - that's not my intent. Suffice to say, I do understand and appreciate living with constant pain - as MOST of us here do, as well! It was severe pain that led me INTO addiction in the first place. Still, that does not justify my turning to my doctor for addictive drugs - not in my mind - not if I treasure my recovery from addiction. Although doctor(s) would be willing to prescribe to me, that is an option that I choose not to pursue. When I see a pill bottle, my mind automatically pictures a skull and crossbones - it's that lethal to me.

I do not trust a doctor to handle my recovery from addiction. Too many times, over the past 19 years, doctors who have known of my history - have still offered medications that would send me right back to that nightmare. Most doctors are not as well-educated on addiction as I am, having had it. I know what I can - and can not - take in safety. If I don't know for sure, I look it up. I take no risks with my recovery.

So I find other solutions. Everything from meditation to massage, acupuncture, physical therapy, chiropractic, biofeedback, exercises, daily neck traction, preventative medications, and non-narcotic meds. I refuse to entertain the idea of narcotics or any other addictive medication, even though my pain is completely legitimate. I'm an addict - the harm it would do me completely outweighs any pain relief.

You said that you post your medications on this site to help someone else to know they aren't alone. Personally, I see what you post (for medications) as more destructive than constructive. Every day, folks come here with pain AND addiction issues, hand-in-hand. To read your posts, with that lengthy list of meds, is far more likely to lead someone who is struggling... back to the medicine cabinet for more of the very drugs that were crippling them. All us addicts need is an ounce of "permission," to justify that it's perfectly safe to continue on the narcotic track. I see it as exceedingly dangerous to pass on such a message. Lives could be on the line, and I won't take that risk.

I stand by my earlier post. Expecting that an addict can follow a prescribed dose is no different than expecting an alcoholic to follow a set plan for one ounce of whiskey every 4 hours - it's not possible. It defies the definition of addiction completely! The first step of NA is perfectly clear: "We admitted we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives have become unmanageable." POWERLESS - that means we can not control our use. Period.

What you choose to do, in your own situation, is completely up to you. I simply offered my advice, after years of addiction and (even more) years of recovery. I work in the field, I see this every day. However, when you post information that may easily lead the next struggling addict back into that black abyss of addiction... I speak up, unapologetically.

God bless,
Ruth

[TTTDogs]

Dear DEB,

When I saw your post last evening - just after you posted - I was excited to open it and read your reply - you really had been on my mind all day - and I was planning to to check in with you -

Let me start by saying how sorry I am that you truly did not understand my intention - or those of the other 2 post-ers - and if that caused you pain or angst I am sorry - but not regretful.........

I too struggled with my reply - since I seem to not EVER sleep anymore - (DAY 9 for me YEA) my night was filled with concern for you thinking of how I might reply - if to reply at all.

So I too have decided this forum is WAY to important to me - and every addict that comes to it DESERVES the right to do everything possible to heal themselves of addiction - I really feel for your pain - and I was tempted to tell the WHOLE story of my physical condition - but I will refrain from that - and not engage myself in my own pity party - it is a sad reality of my life - but I am NOT going to let it steal my future.

Prior to my first post - the one that has you upset - I did some research on Deb - I was looking for someway to connect with you - to learn about you - because I cared............. what I found in your previous post was disturbing at very least and what I believed to be a cry for help - these are your words DEB -
So after the GYN decided that I no longer needed Narcotics for pain, the Dr. shopping started as did ordering from Online Dr.'s. At the worst part of my Addiction, I was seeing 3 Doctors, paying cash at every visit and using a specific Pharmacy for each Dr., again paying with cash. I was also using 2 Online Dr.'s and was also buying off the street - This was at my very worst. I was taking up to 30 Vicodins per day, JUST to not get W/D, and any opiate I could get to get as high as I could get. I blew through thousands of dollars and ended up getting hooked on Fentanyl pain patches - not wearing them but "cheeking" them. I actually wished I would get some type of physical injury or illness that would allow me to need pain meds every month.....

You cleary admit you were once deep into addiction - addiction is not cured - it is managed - and it appears that there have been good DR who have recognized you addiction and attempted to help .... your words continue.....

but my Dr. will not prescribe a higher dose...it is VERY frustrating. I also have 5mg Percocets which I take twice per day...but that has no effect whatsoever.

I regards to recovery - you state you have been "sober" for over a year......

One more relapse, and I am gone. And I mean that and he KNOWS I mean that! What I am trying to say is that yes, we all know that Relapse is part of Addiction.......but CHRONIC relapsing shows to me that you're not 100% willing to stay sober.

08-30-2009, 05:05 Am

 Need Help, not even sure what kind

I havent been on this board long, but I am on Chronic Painmeds Morphine 60mg twice a day and Percocet 5/500 2 per day. My stepdad passsed away 13 days ago. I am abusing these like crazy.....I am so torn up about his death and am taking 20 of the morphine a day...no joke.....
Can anyone direct me to a link or a website that deals with the loss after a death?

Sober? - you HAD relaspe on August 30th - DEB - that was 50 days ago - you speak of honesty?..............

Ruth - ARTIST - has lost BOTH her parents THIS past summer - caring for her mother - while in hospice with an unlimited supply of drugs at hand - and manage to stay SOBER - REALLY SOBER - the joy of true recovery (your amazing RUTH)


You claim your meds are at a minimum level - and that you have even managed to reduce a few......................

I used to have an addiction, a bad one, to Fentanyl Patches 75mcg "cheeked" in my mouth. I have been off those since March, have been on the Morphine for 1 year, and I am losing it FAST!
I hope this doesn't get deleted as an inappropriate post, but I need advice, FAST!


________________


09-11-2009, 08:20 PM

 FENTANYL Patches -new kind?

I refilled my Fentanyl Transdermal Patch prescription the other day and was given a different generic. I use the 75mcg. This time the patches are larger and they have a silver foil as the sticky side.

Has anyone gotten these and if so, what do you think? I haven't had much luck in keeping them on.....the sticky side is kind of like a rubber glue?

Opinions? I'm not fond of these at all....



Gosh - the last line is scary for me - I was SOOOOOO "fond" of my drugs - carried them with me at all times - wouldn't leave them in the car - for feel someone might steal them - (although I have left my beloved dogs in the car)
I would buy a purse with the idea it was large enough to hold my meds - I was sooooo very fond of them.

So Deb I chose to reach out to you - because I read YOU lines - and between THE lines - of your many posts - I am so sorry if it offended you - but I know if you were clear headed and in my shoes - YOU would have done the same thing - we are not bad people - we are good people - all of us - just trying to extend our hands and hope to the next addict .............

And lastly - your defensive response concerns me - and I will tell you why - IF I would have had 3 strangers - take the time to care about me - even at the height of my addiction - to take the time and chance on me - I would have started my reply with a heartfelt THANKS - I would thank my lucky stars that I have found a soft place to land - .......could you possibly think our intentions were ANYTHING other than to reach out to you when you plead- in your very own words "Need help - not even sure which kind"

Robert - our wise leader states in a recent post that while cheerleading is important to inspire and foster the recovery of an addict - honesty in sharing with an addict what they need to hear instead of what they want to hear is equally as important - that was our intention........

I wish you well DEB -

[Freedom4me]

Ruth and TTTdogs, I think your intentions were clear, at least from my perspective. I hope she recieves them in the way they were intended. Have a great day, everyone.

[htoth19]

I hope I didn't mess anything up by my post. Meaning, I had no idea at all, after reading what deb's previous post's we're...I didn't do any digging. I took what was said in that one last post, and told her how great and strong she is/was.
But if that's not the case at all, you guys are right and I should never have interfered. I was just trying to give some words of encouragement as I thought she was being attacked. I am on the defensive all the time too...I'm really trying to let that go.
I was wrong in what I said, I shouldn't have butted in. I apologize to tttdogs and artist. I should have read it a little more clearly, as I am just trying to be supportive, like you guys, and here it sounded like I was trying to take sides.
~Heather

p.s. TTT- I don't know much about your story, but reading that you do alllll those others things to take care of your pain, rather than turning to narcotics....that's incredible. My mother is in sever pain everyday of her life and she truly believes there's no other alternative since she's 'tried' everything else. I wish she had that strength. Maybe that's why deb's most recent post hit home for me, again, I should have stayed out of it, it was almost as though I felt I was defending for my mother....make sense of that lol.

[Freedom4me]

Heather,
Please girl, you have nothing to apologize for, nor does Ruth or TTT or Deb for that matter. We are all just doing the best we can. I think Deb was just a bit defensive and didn't take what Ruth and TTT said as it was intended. I hope she reconsiders. You are wonderful Heather. The kindness and love you have shown others is awesome. Keep it up. You are doing really great. Everyone here has a common goal.

[htoth19]

Thanks Jenny.

~Heather

[ARTIST658]

I agree, there is no need for anyone to apologize here. We are all addicts, struggling with the same horrific disease, and all the feelings and behaviors that go along with it. I can not afford to ever get so confident in my recovery that I dare to look down on the next person who is still fighting active addiction. With one pill, I'm right there, too. And I do not know if I could make it back into recovery the next time.

A HUGE factor in this disease is the denial and dishonesty, that go hand-in-hand. It isn't because we're "bad" people, not at all. We don't lie because we want to - we feel we have to. Most of all, we lie to ourselves - and believe our own lies. It's all part of the disease, period.

From my own experience, I can tell you that the denial is not a doorway that we cross and slam the door behind us, as if we're done with it forever. It's far sneakier than that! We can go in and out of denial at any time, even in recovery. That's the part that whispers in our ear, "It's ok - you can handle ONE pill" or "You can follow the prescription directions." It's also the part of us that slips into self-pity, feels overwhelmed, feels we have no other choices. Those kinds of feelings, when not addressed, will often send us back into addiction. We need better coping skills - we need to change how we deal with life's pitfalls.

Arresting this disease is a daily matter of constant vigilance - especially when it's prescription drug addiction and we're still dealing with serious pain. The temptation to 'take something' is often enormous... and the rest of the world (those without addiction issues) will often encourage us to take ONE pill. Others can not understand suffering, when legal drugs are available!

For me, I work on my recovery daily - as I used to use daily. I chase recovery the same way I chased my drugs. Passionately. That's what I need to do, to hold onto the recovery I have - and the life that I treasure today.

Deb - I want you to know you aren't alone. I am not judging you, even if you feel that way. That's how I would feel too, if someone was confronting me during my drug use. (And they did!) I understand addiction, and I understand your struggles. I am also dealing with enormous grief - BOTH of my parents passed away this past summer, and the heartache is brutal. But there is NOTHING that can happen that a pill won't make a helluva lot worse. We're here for you, Deb.

God bless,
Ruth

[htoth19]

hey
deb....
How are you doing? Please don't disappear~! Just wondering where you've been and how you've been~!

~Heather

[cheekysod]

we cannot consider ourselves to be sober while we are still taking drugs. whether prescribed to you or not.
even though i have now gone 4 months off my DOC which was mainly methadone and morphine, i am still on a small amount of subs, so i am not sober, nor would i say i was.
i must admit to worrying also that someone taking all those drugs was advising people how to get off, and that in so many days the worst is over, and the hardest part is the mental part.
i have got in trouble with various people for saying what i think out loud, but here i go again, i know i am unpopular with some, but oh well, sh!t happens,
ruth was trying in the nicest possible way to let you know you are kidding yourself deb, don't take offence, take action, for your own addiction.
listing all of your medications, although truthful but at the same time considering yourself sober, is very dangerous.you say what keeps you sober is helping others, how are you sober. please tell me.? i would love to know.
so if you relapsed what would you consider that then,? taking more than prescribed to you.? or crushing them and injecting,? i am curious as to what you think is a relapse,? when you are already on a cocktail of all sorts of things.
and giving your boyfriend the 3 strikes and your out routine, what about you?, has he given you the same chances?. i guess you may be able to rationalize to him that all your drugs are prescribed, therefore not part of relapse, but thats the reason the flags went up for ruth, ttt, and others, i am not trying to open the wound, but please look at what you are doing.
you are in a foggy haze of opiates, benzos and antidepressants, you cannot tell people you are sober. end of story.
and as much as this place is for constructive advice, sometimes the best advice is the advice we DO NOT WANT TO HEAR. it hurts when people get near the truth,
we cant always be, "thats nice dear", deb, i don't know how you are going to take this, but imagine how it looks to an outsider, reading your posts, advising people how to get clean, do this do that, and then reading your signature virtually saying "i am still on all these drugs, but don't worry, im sober, and giving advice to you all" because my doctor says its ok.
IT IS NOT OK DEB. PLEASE CHECK YOURSELF. THIS IS NOT TO GET YOU UPSET, but look at yourself through honest eyes and try and see where these people are coming from.
your heart is obviously in the right place, trying to help others, and that is really good, but please try and help yourself first.
i have a very good friend, been on morphine, paraplegic,18 years so he gets his morphine every week, and benzos, all legal, prescribed to him. he still has a huge habit, HE IS AN ADDICT. A LEGAL ADDICT. no difference, to a junky on the street, you neeed those drugs, or you will withdraw. in fact while i was using illicit methadone, we were in the same boat, we both needed drugs to make us feel ok, and NOT GET SICK. his was legal, mine was not, same problem though we are both addicts.
JUST BECAUSE A DOCTOR GIVES IT TO YOU DOES NOT MAKE IT RIGHT.

i wish you all the best, like ruth says, our minds can trick us, and right now yours is doing a great job. it takes others sometimes to point out things that are actually staring us right in the face and yet we still cant see it.

come clean with your boyfriend, give him a break, and he may be willing to give you one. you could help each other.

p.s you did put on the title, ALL READ. so i did, and i had to respond.

[doc.rose]

hey Cheeky!! Deb has not posted since I asked her if she gets her pain meds and her benzo's from the same doctor or does she go to two different docs to get the meds. Read my post on the other thread she started. Ever since I asked that question, she has not posted!!!

[Robert_325]

Lots of people get their feelings hurt too easily here. I have spent thousands of hours on this forum trying to help people and can't come close to counting the times people have attacked me when it was totally uncalled for. This is a drug forum. People are emotional and on edge in the middle of drug detox. Participants need to take this place for what it is right or wrong. Sometimes the heat is turned up pretty hot in here. That's just the way it is. I bite my tongue every day instead of saying what I really think. God bless.

[doc.rose]

hey Robert!! My Mom always used to say, "the truth always hurts!"

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by doc.rose

hey Robert!! My Mom always used to say, "the truth always hurts!"

Ain't it the truth! LOL

[Debpurpletiger]

I get my pain meds thru my Back Dr. and my Clonazapam thru my P doc. They both exchange notes at every visit I have , which is once a month to both. I signed a release at both so thry could share info.

Hope that answers your question...didnt know you posted .

No longer going to post under this name.....will be an anonymous newbie with ne signature, post all you want about that, no more responses from me.

[doc.rose]

There is no reason to change your name. Everyone here wants to be supportive of you, but you got a little defensive. You have now come forward with the truth, which I commend you for doing. I was just wondering about the meds because they r pretty dangerous when used together. My brother uses a combo similar to yours and he is loaded all the time! Just be careful when combining the benzo and pain med. Please don't change your name, no need to do that.

[sheslowlystops]

Don't quite see where she actually asked for anyone's opinions or for their help. I think this is why a lot of us choose not to post and continue to just lurk. We read the forums for the support, but maybe we just are not ready to commit to sobriety yet, for whatever reasons. Even worse are those members who are in actual, physical pain and have the double whammy of being an addict as well as needing the pain relief that the meds supply.
While it is wonderful that all of you self righteous people are sober, even newly so, it is not right to attack those members who are not where you are quite yet. Just a lurkers opinion is all.

[doc.rose]

But if you actually post, people are gonna respond. I don't think anyone is self righteous on this forum. If you read Debs most recent thread, she admitted that she sometimes takes more medicine than prescribed. Yes she is in a tough spot, needing the meds but also using it to help her when she has turmoil in her life. I, myself am not an addict, but use this forum for support in dealing with my younger brothers addiction. I also like to lend support when I can to others going through detox. If you aren't ready for sobriety now, then that is your choice, but please know that when you are, you will have many many people here on this forum to offer you there support.

[sheslowlystops]

Originally Posted by doc.rose

But if you actually post, people are gonna respond. I don't think anyone is self righteous on this forum. If you read Debs most recent thread, she admitted that she sometimes takes more medicine than prescribed. Yes she is in a tough spot, needing the meds but also using it to help her when she has turmoil in her life. I, myself am not an addict, but use this forum for support in dealing with my younger brothers addiction. I also like to lend support when I can to others going through detox. If you aren't ready for sobriety now, then that is your choice, but please know that when you are, you will have many many people here on this forum to offer you there support.

I just saw a bandwagon attack on another thread, where she was replying to someone about their problems, not her own. Someone took it upon themselves to point out what her signature said and then decided to peruse all of her prior postings, using what she had posted against her.

True-she put it out there for all to see, but I would think it would have been more appropriate to point out concerns for her usage in those posts, where she actually addressed it--not coming out of left field and attacking the woman. The intentions may have been pure, but it just looked like a bunch of people making themselves feel good at her expense. Sorry, that's what it came across as.

[doc.rose]

I see what you are saying. The reason some people said what they said is because she was giving advice to someone on how to get off drugs, when she herself is currently on pain meds. She admitted she wasn't honest about her usage. Maybe people sensed she sometimes abuses her meds. The important part is she admitted she stretched the truth and no matter what, she will have the support here from everyone.

[cheekysod]

why change your name, keep posting, you have come a long way, and admitted some stuff,
basically if you go into hiding, you are only kidding yourself, thats why everyone tried to let you know what you seem to be doing.
like they say
you can't kid a kidder, you can't con a con.
we have been there as well, we know how it feels, come on,
don't give up now.

are you considering giving up the pain pills, or not.?

oh and she slowly stops, the line of the thread was "ALL READ" ABOUT DEBPURPLETIGER.
so she did ask for people to read it, therefore perhaps comment as they saw fit.
no harm in that, it might be just what deb needed. a dose of reality, from her fellow addicts.
i say fellow addicts, because i am there, all it takes is one more hit, and im back at square one.
same as all of us.

[sheslowlystops]

Originally Posted by cheekysod

why change your name, keep posting, you have come a long way, and admitted some stuff,
basically if you go into hiding, you are only kidding yourself, thats why everyone tried to let you know what you seem to be doing.
like they say
you can't kid a kidder, you can't con a con.
we have been there as well, we know how it feels, come on,
don't give up now.

are you considering giving up the pain pills, or not.?

oh and she slowly stops, the line of the thread was "ALL READ" ABOUT DEBPURPLETIGER.
so she did ask for people to read it, therefore perhaps comment as they saw fit.
no harm in that, it might be just what deb needed. a dose of reality, from her fellow addicts.
i say fellow addicts, because i am there, all it takes is one more hit, and im back at square one.
same as all of us.

The thread that everyone jumped on her in was not about her, she just commented in that thread and had several people jump on her for some reason. I can see it happening in a thread or after a post where she spoke of her substance problems, but not in a thread where she is speaking to someone else about what they posted about--therefore hijacking the thread. She only started the "ALL READ" threads after those incidents.
That said, she seems to be okay with the whole thing so I see no reason to keep going back to it. Just stated my opinion, and my ongoing reason for not asking for help quite yet. I have a hard time with "one size fits all" and think there is a plethora of us on here, happy for those of you that can call yourself completely clean-not quite there yet ourselves.

[cheekysod]

im pleased deb is all good about it. thats why i wanted to comment i was hoping she didnt cruise off after that.
and no way do i say im clean, i am still on subs, my big post to her was saying exactly that, im still taking subs, therefore i am still not clean.
one day i will be but not yet.
im working on it.

and the one size fits all, i agree.
i have taken much longer than the recommended 4 days on each level, 25% taper.
i have sometimes stayed over a week on each level.
everyone is different, so every recovery is different.
it all starts with a single step.