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ADDICTION. & i cant understand.
  1. #1
    kaceyw is offline New Member
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    Exclamation ADDICTION. & i cant understand.

    Hi , im new to this site. but recently i am the daughter of a mother who chose drugs instead of her family. I guess you could say that my sister and I were her only family. But she got this new boyfriend. I figured out she was using drugs. (like herion && other things) but i cannot seem to unterstand addiction. Does it really mess with your mind that much that you just abandon your kids? Can someone help me understand what drugs really do to you?
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  2. #2
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    Hi kacey
    your story breaks my heart.I have been on all sides of addiction.my brother died of drug related problems,my father is an alcoholic and I was addicted to drugs for about three years...
    I'm sorry about your mom..sometimes people just can't find there way out...that is not an excuse but I'm sure she is doing the best she can do at this point in her life.
    Would she ever get on here and talk to us maybe we can share some stories with her that she can relate to...or find a way to get her some help...
    There are allot of people on this site that have gotten clean...
    Let us know how you and your sister are doing...
    Talk to you soon,Melinda
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  3. #3
    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    kaycew,

    I have been where you are right now. All I can say is she is obviously not thinking clearly. My Mom gave me up for adoption (to my Aunt) because she chose drugs over me. Is it fair... no way, but we have dust ourselves off and take it for what it is. She won't stop unless she wants to and as devastating as that is, it's the truth but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I never understood it either. Are you still living with her? How old are you?

  4. #4
    mpvt is offline Platinum Member
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    Opiate addiction is vicious and all consuming. Think of opiate molcules as odd shaped keys. In the brain and body are receptors. These receptors are able to relieve pain, make you feel happy, sad ect when they are activated or deactivated. There are at least 3 types of receptors that the opiate molecule will fit. The main one for addicts is the MU receptors which help pain and gives addicts that euphoric feeling. So when you shoot >>>>>> or snort morphine pills ect they activate the MU receptors causing the addict to feel a rush of euphoria. Also it makes you feel like you can handle your problems and give's you a false sense of security. These feelings for people that become addicts are so overwhelming that the addict uses again and again to keep up with the euphoric feelings. As I said it becomes all consuming as the addict build's a tolerance. They have to take more and more to get the desired effect. The problems really start when they can't reach the effect anymore and their personalities begin to change drastically. They become nasty and usually have withdrawn from society and family as it is to difficult to face either.
    Addiction is an extremely difficult disease to deal with and just in the last few years doctors are realizing that this isn't just a matter of quitting and staying away from opiates and everything will be fine.
    Drug's like methadone and more recently buprenorphene (suboxone, subutex) are quickly becoming the gold standard for treating and maintaining opiate addiction recovery. Although taking the meds is great usally the addict needs a strong support system whether that be faith based systems like AA and NA, 12 step ect the point being that the meds alone are often not enough. This is were rehabs become important in that they give the addict the tools that they are going to need to fight for recovery. Often it takes many tries before a addict gets on the road to recovery and also often they die before making it.
    This is why drug intervention with methadone or buprenorphene is so important especially when the addict is deep into abuse. The chemical changes that take place in the brain and body while abusing opiates takes a very long time to revert back which is one of the things methadone and buprenorphene allow you to do.
    So opiate addiction treatment is really begining to change and understood. It is devastating and often ends in premature death. Getting into recovery is the ultimate goal for any addict.. I hope this gives you a bit of a understanding of opiate addiction and revoery......Dave

  5. #5
    kathleen5hockey is offline Advanced Member
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    I have the same question regarding my 17 yr old daughter. Do the drugs take over your morals and mind that much?

  6. #6
    mpvt is offline Platinum Member
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    YES!!!!! Opiate addiction is all consuming and usually ends in death or recovery. It takes years and years of daily abuse before the brain and body change so much that the person you once knew isn't really there anymore. Learn all you can about opiate addictiopn and drug addiction in general not only to give you the tools to survive but to be able to deal with the person who is addicted. Addiction is a terrible disease and it usually takes many relapses ect before the addict is able to begin reovery..Good luck and educate yourself as it is the only way to understand what is happening.....Dave
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  7. #7
    kathleen5hockey is offline Advanced Member
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    I have been thru 5 rehabs in 1 year with my daughter, countless doctors, etc. Am also in therapy. Knowledge does help but it doesn't cure the broken heart. I see my daughter and wonder where I went wrong. Her brain is at a 14 yr old level (when she started shooting drugs) but she has lived thru so much trauma that her body is that of an old woman. I can say definately that my marriage has suffered, hopefully it can be repaired. What an awful thing to suffer thru. I always tell her she gets the high I get the bills. There has to be some level of morals when she is stealing, etc. When you are high doesn't anything spark what is good in you?

    Also, posted somewhere else (can't find it), when on Suboxone has anyone gotten a rash? What about mood swings or headaches?

    Thanks for being here. We all suffer from the addiction.

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    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    Only time will heal the broken heart. It's not easy to watch a loved one especially your child suffer from addiction.

    While using and constantly chasing their drug of choice all of their morals and values go out the window. Is it a good excuse? NO! It's poor decision making, it's part of the addiction. My husband stole and pawned anything he thought would go un-noticed during his active addiction. Even pawned his wedding ring (OUCH ) like I wouldn't notice.

    How has your marriage suffered because of her addiction? Is this her father? You guys should work as a team. Does she live with you?

  9. #9
    kathleen5hockey is offline Advanced Member
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    Yes, I am married to her father. We have been together for 25 yrs. My husband thinks differently than me. Mostly because it is always me taking her to the rehabs, even flying to Florida with her to leave her at the last rehab. She is daddy's little girl that will never change. My daughter and I were very close before drugs. That's why I cannot understand why she turned to a needle instead of her family. I find it hard to forgive all that has been stolen from me. Money, jewelry, debit and credit cards, the list is endless. Will never know how much money we have lost. I am in debt over $30,000 because of rehabs. We will never know shopping for the prom gown, she will never have the friends back - she went to pre-school with most of them. We both have lost so much of our life. She is only 17, staying clean she will have many years ahead of her, lots of work but still time. Me, I am 52 (look about 62 since drugs), 2/3 of my life gone. When time is taken it's one thing you can never get back.

    My older son will not come home anymore. It's so sad that he won't have any of his friends come to the house for fear of what his sister will be doing.
    We don't have friends over, if the grandparents come to visit I make sure all pocketbooks are in clear view of me.

    Such a terrible way to live. What is it with the needle and drugs? Will I ever understand?

  10. #10
    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    I am so sorry for your struggles. I know what it's like to have things stolen and have to watch your companies purses, it's emabarassing at best. I know she is only 17 and you are responsible for her legally but 18 is just around the corner. She obvioulsy hasn't hit her bottom yet and until that happens and she is willing to really accept the help everything just goes in one ear and out the other. When and if she does accept recovery in her life and wnats to stay clean, you have many other milestones to look forward to with her such as shopping for a wedding dress and planning baby showers. THere is still hope, she is very young. I hope she gets to the bottom sooner than later sounds like she has a loving family willing to support her. Just remember you didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you can't control it.

    Is she in rehab now? If so....She still is your daughter and when she comes home, I would have some ground rules for her and restricted freedoms. Don't give her enough rope to hang herself immediately after being released from rehab. Plan some family time, look through old pictures, go to a movie or dinner. Show her what she is missing out on when she goes on her binges and rehabs. Get reaquainted with her. Let Daddy's little girl have some one on one time with him. The more family oriented environment the better. Obviously no one can keep a teenager under complete surveillance 24/7 however if she feels like she belongs and doesn't have to escape that may help curb her urge to use.

    Forgiveness is one of the things I am struggling with the most. I know how it feels to be constantly kicked while you are down when all you really want is to help. It sucks big time. Forgiveness is in my opinion an all or nothing deal. It doesn't mean we forget but we forgive and do our best to let those memories fade to the back and replace the ones in front with good memories.

    Understanding comes with knowledge of addiction. Does it make it any easier to deal with, in some aspects, but we are human no amount of knowledge is going to make you not hurt but it will help you understand why the addict behaves the way they do. You come to realize that this is not your problem and you cannot solve it, the addict is the only one with that ability because after the physical withdrawl is gone it's all will power, in the mind. Being active daily in a recovery program where you meet other people with addictions is such a great tool to have. Does she attend NA??

  11. #11
    kathleen5hockey is offline Advanced Member
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    She is on Suboxone - tomorrow it will be 2 weeks. I have seen signs of the old daughter coming out. It's tough to be a teen, there are not alot of NA meetings around for her, I will not let her go to any adult NA meetings anymore. She was just fresh meat for them.

    Every one needs someone, being 17 it's hard for her to meet others. None of her old friends want to be with her. Have been looking for sober teen functions. I will always keep trying to save her, even though in reality I know she has to save herself. Being 17 she needs her parents to show her the options. So everyday I drive her for her Suboxone.

    I am just really tired of living in drug world! How I wish the money spent on rehabs was spent shopping, getting our nails done, fun stuff. But no, all my money goes to drugs, one way or the other.

    Thanks for being here for me. Unless you live it you cannot understand.

  12. #12
    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    I hear ya. There are many other things I would love to spend my money on too. He has sucked me dry. But I will keep going, for my son, for myself.

    Does she go to therapy or anything? I know where I live there are alot of NA meetings and ALOT of kids in them amongst other adults. What do you mean "fresh meat""? Are they trying to pick her up.

  13. #13
    kathleen5hockey is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi,

    I hope all is well with you. The daughter has been on Suboxone for 3 weeks now. She is doing very well in school. Her face has alot of acne like when she was using >>>>>>. Is this normal while on Suboxone?

    Take care.

  14. #14
    kathleen5hockey is offline Advanced Member
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    My daughter has been on Suboxone for 4 weeks now. What a change in her. She is like her old self. I know it is not a miracle cure but it sure does help! She got money for Easter which made me nervous because in the past when she had money it all went for drugs. Well, she was home by 10 last night and not high! Her headaches have gone but the acne is still there just not as bad. Wow! Today is a great day!!! Take one day at a time.
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    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    Hey there, I am so happy to hear she is doing well!

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    Freedom4me is offline Advanced Member
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    Kathleen,
    I don't know too much about Subs but I know it works. Please post a message for Robert, who is an expert at overcoming addiction and tapering off subs to live a clean life. Your daughter shouldn't be on them for too long or it will be harder and harder for her to taper off and live clean. I think you are a wonderful mother. Props to you. Hopefully Robert will see this thread and be able to guide you in the final process of this horrible addiction that your beautiful baby girl is recovering from. I have seen some miracles on this site due to Robert. People coming on hear completely spun out and in the throws of addiction and in time, completely clean and now supporting others. Please, please at least get his advise about the suboxone and tapering your daughter off. The goal of suboxone is to use it to detox from opiates. Bless you and stay strong

  17. #17
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by kathleen5hockey View Post
    My daughter has been on Suboxone for 4 weeks now. What a change in her. She is like her old self. I know it is not a miracle cure but it sure does help! She got money for Easter which made me nervous because in the past when she had money it all went for drugs. Well, she was home by 10 last night and not high! Her headaches have gone but the acne is still there just not as bad. Wow! Today is a great day!!! Take one day at a time.



    Hi kathleen ... such a sad story but it's turning into a happy one hopefully. Any of us with children would do anything to keep our kids from going through what your daughter has experienced. You're a good mom! Lots of parents would have run their own kids off by now even at 17. She's still a kid, even if she is almost chronologically grown. She needs your help badly.

    The subs are good for where she is in life right now. What is her current dose and what did she start at if I may ask? I would suggest you read the following link. This is how I usually suggest subs be used. If you want my help just ask. I will do anything to help a young person turn their life around.

    http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...apy-50887.html

    Sadly I think you are correct about sending her alone to LOTS of NA meetings. There are some meetings out there where there are other young people though that you might find. Have to admit that lots of meetings have addicts there from court-ordered programs, those particular guys don't care about your daughter, and I wouldn't want my 17 year old daughter around them either. Let me know if I can help. God bless.
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  18. #18
    kathleen5hockey is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi,

    My daughter started and is still on 4 mil of Suboxone. When should we start weaning and how? The clinic where we go everyday really doesn't give much info. You know privacy issues and all, even though I am her mother and paying the bill! She has a councelor but she only has seen him twice both at my insistance. Have contacted the clinic to tell them I am not comfortable with a male councelor, don't think it is appropriate but they said he is a good guy. I think he's spacey.

    On another note: She has been having terrible dreams, waking up screaming. We have talked about the dreams, one in particular where my son, her and I are in the kitchen and she is stangeling herself with a cord in front of us. Looked on the internet and it seems that dreams of suicide are common when an addict is changing their life. Printed out the article and gave it to the daughter. Also have given her a psalm that relates to the Easter season of resurrection for all of us.

    Yesterday at 3:30 she was still sleeping. Is this cause for concern? I figure her body needs the rest to help repair the damage from >>>>>>.

    Thank you for saying I am a good mom, our family has been thru hell. You would be surprised how many Phyc doctors have said it was my fault she did drugs. One even told me that because I expect her to clean her room and would raise my voice drove her to drugs!

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    Freedom4me is offline Advanced Member
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    Oh my gosh Kathleen,
    It is not your fault!!!! You are obviously a very good and caring mom. We all have issues. I have 3 teenage boys. I took vicodin for back pain and after time it wasnt helping the pain but I kept taking it. I decided to stop and I had to go thru withdrawals that were terrible but I did it. I had the medicine available to me but it was the people here that helped me stop. Your daughter can make this. Robert is wonderful. Melinda and musicman too. Listen to what they have to say. I have seen miracles here. Robert will really and truley help you set up a taper plan for girl that will work and be painless for her. Keep posting. You will get more support here than you can imagine.

  20. #20
    kathleen5hockey is offline Advanced Member
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    Thank you! I have received alot of support here. At my counceling I have told the other parents about this site.

    The problem with drugs is the shame, for the family and addict. Once you get thru that (which takes a while) and open up for help, it's there! Silence is deadly for parents, we need help dealing with all the issues of addiction.

    Thank you to all here, I am so happy I found this sight!

  21. #21
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by kathleen5hockey View Post
    Hi,

    My daughter started and is still on 4 mil of Suboxone. When should we start weaning and how? The clinic where we go everyday really doesn't give much info. You know privacy issues and all, even though I am her mother and paying the bill! She has a councelor but she only has seen him twice both at my insistance. Have contacted the clinic to tell them I am not comfortable with a male councelor, don't think it is appropriate but they said he is a good guy. I think he's spacey.

    On another note: She has been having terrible dreams, waking up screaming. We have talked about the dreams, one in particular where my son, her and I are in the kitchen and she is stangeling herself with a cord in front of us. Looked on the internet and it seems that dreams of suicide are common when an addict is changing their life. Printed out the article and gave it to the daughter. Also have given her a psalm that relates to the Easter season of resurrection for all of us.

    Yesterday at 3:30 she was still sleeping. Is this cause for concern? I figure her body needs the rest to help repair the damage from >>>>>>.

    Thank you for saying I am a good mom, our family has been thru hell. You would be surprised how many Phyc doctors have said it was my fault she did drugs. One even told me that because I expect her to clean her room and would raise my voice drove her to drugs!
    .................................................. ......

    Thank you! I have received alot of support here. At my counceling I have told the other parents about this site.

    The problem with drugs is the shame, for the family and addict. Once you get thru that (which takes a while) and open up for help, it's there! Silence is deadly for parents, we need help dealing with all the issues of addiction.

    Thank you to all here, I am so happy I found this sight!






    Kathleen .... Raising your voice for her to clean her room drove her to drugs? Don't think I've ever heard that on before. Are you supposed to mail your child a request? Sounds like a great analysis there by the psychiatrist. Gotta love some of the stuff some of these guys come up with. I'm sorry but I got in on your daughter's story here somewhat after the fact from when she began. I see that it's been about three weeks for your daughter on the suboxone. She is beyond the detoxing time now for the original opiate for which she began using the suboxone but the 4mg dose is not high thankfully.

    Part of the process of using suboxone is allowing time for the receptors in the brain to heal some after using the old RX opiates for a good while. With your daughter being so young we need to make sure she has had the time to make the appropriate healing progress before jumping off the subs.

    I FIRMLY believe in using suboxone short term, but at the same time we DON'T want your daughter jumping off too fast and relapsing. With her age I'm concerned about her focus to STAY clean and not relapse. That is always a concern in a situation like this.

    I'm very happy to hear about you bringing a Psalm into this scenario. I'm also a Christian and I was going to suggest something regarding recovery meetings. I don't know where you live but there is a Christ-based recovery program called Celebrate Recovery. It's not the traditional 12 step recovery program but a Christian recovery program and very successful. I am invovled in the program myself working with addicts trying to help them find Christ as a means of helping them with this horrid drug problem. You should google Celebrate Recovery for your area and see if there are any local meetings. Your daughter would be safe there and I would personally recommend it.

    I say that your daughter is getting "close" to being ready to start tapering. The problem here, I repeat, is making sure that once she gets clean she STAYS clean. That is why I think it's IMPERATIVE that she be involved in some type of constructive recovery program prior to getting completely off the subs. I realize you are there to support her, but interaction with others like herself would be very beneficial to her and Celebrate Recovery would be a good Ace-In-the-Hole for her before she gets off the suboxone to help insure her success. See if you can locate any meetings relatively close by through Google and let me know. Then I would make a suggestion about the taper. Good luck and God bless.
    Last edited by Robert_325; 04-15-2009 at 10:42 AM.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  22. #22
    kathleen5hockey is offline Advanced Member
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    No Celebrate Recovery meetings near us, the closest is 1.5 hr drive. Any other suggestions?

  23. #23
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by kathleen5hockey View Post
    No Celebrate Recovery meetings near us, the closest is 1.5 hr drive. Any other suggestions?


    In that case I would go to www.na.org. That is the world head office for Narcotics Anonymous. You can get meeting schedules for any place in the world there. I would look up your area and see if they have any 24 hour phone hot line/help line. Ask if they know of any specific groups in your area that have any groups with a higher % of younger people attending. I only say that so she might identify more with them.

    I would just like to see her in some group that if not Christian at least has a younger group than some of the others. I don't know where you live, so depending on the size of your home town, the availability of multiple meetings being available can and will vary. If you have any questions personally about any particular meeting you can attend with her if they hold what is called "open" meetings, meaning anyone can attend vs a closed meeting where only addicts themselves are welcome to attend. It's just for a matter of anonymity for the participants.

    With her being so young I would personally want to be sure she was in a group where you felt comfortable with her being there. Understand that all NA meetings have a bunch of recovering drug addicts there. It isn't a church function. But she needs some type of recovery program to help insure her long term success. Most addicts need some type of support be it AA, NA, church, a combination of or all the above. I don't know her religious convictions and if she would be willing to really attempt to get "connected" at church or not. You would know that better than me.

    There are also what's called Intensive Outpatient Recovery programs. These are usually run through hospitals or rehabs and are covered by most insurance. You could check that online for your area as well or through your health insurance provider. The point being made here is quite obvious. She needs some extra help, some recovery meetings. Check out what is available and let me know.

    I think that you should let her stay at 4mg a little longer. I wouldn't start the taper yet being she is at such a low dose anyway. Let's give it another week, that will provide you a little extra time to locate some type of support group for her, then we can move forward feeling a little more secure for her ongoing recovery being successful. God bless.
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  24. #24
    Freedom4me is offline Advanced Member
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    Kathleen,
    I told you Robert was awesome. He ALWAYS will make the time for those who want his help. And he never gives a boiler plate answer. He really listens and recommends what is right for that individual that minute. Keep posting here. We will see you through this. You will get plenty of encouragement with no judgement and no shame. Stay strong. YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER!

  25. #25
    kathleen5hockey is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi Robert,

    She has gone to a bible meeting with me which was very nice for both of us. At our church there are ala-teen, aa and alanon meetings. Do you think the ala-teen would be appropriate? Have found a school in the next town over that has teens getting together next week when they are back to work will look into this more. She has gone to a few intensive outpatient facilities. They don't work for her, she would go high. Unfortunately her case is more severe than most. She had been using since age 14, her drug supplier who is her cousin was pimping her out. She has had at least 5 rapes. She has trauma, drug addiction and recovery to deal with. That's alot for a 17 yr. old.

    Question: While on Suboxone what would happen if she used >>>>>>? It's not just the drug addiction it's the needle addiction, she loves the needle.

    Thanks!

  26. #26
    Freedom4me is offline Advanced Member
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    Kathleen,
    I am so sorry your daughter has been hurt like this. Stay strong for her and never give up on her. You are a good mother.

  27. #27
    Lost83 is offline Senior Member
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    I just wanted to send some support your way. Your daughter has been through alot and is lucky to have you by her side to lead the way, I hope she chooses to follow your direction.
    "I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, and I can't control it."

  28. #28
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by kathleen5hockey View Post
    Hi Robert,

    She has gone to a bible meeting with me which was very nice for both of us. At our church there are ala-teen, aa and alanon meetings. Do you think the ala-teen would be appropriate? Have found a school in the next town over that has teens getting together next week when they are back to work will look into this more. She has gone to a few intensive outpatient facilities. They don't work for her, she would go high. Unfortunately her case is more severe than most. She had been using since age 14, her drug supplier who is her cousin was pimping her out. She has had at least 5 rapes. She has trauma, drug addiction and recovery to deal with. That's alot for a 17 yr. old.

    Question: While on Suboxone what would happen if she used >>>>>>? It's not just the drug addiction it's the needle addiction, she loves the needle.

    Thanks!


    Hi Kathleen ... the addiction to the needle itself is not that uncommon for IV drug users. I totally understand your concern.

    If she used >>>>>> while on suboxone she would become very ill. Suboxone consists of buprenorphine and naloxone. The naloxone is what makes a patient ill if they either inject or snort opiates including the suboxone itself. That's why they mix the naloxone with the buprenorphine which is what subutex is being buprenorphine only. She is pretty safe from that needle while on suboxone. Just make sure she takes it every day and doesn't stash it so she could sneak off and get high. That would be a bigger concern for me than her using while taking the suboxone.

    I think the Bible study is great if she will participate, the alateen is really for teens who have other family members who are alcoholics. I don't know if she would get a lot of benefit there or not. Honestly I think she would get bored as she isn't wondering how to deal with family members in addiction. She might feel out of place in that particular group, can't say for sure.

    The group of teens you were mentioning from the school might be better. If she could be trusted and not blow it doing something with others her age she would probably enjoy that more. Plus it could help to show you she can be trusted and is making progress with the suboxone. If she is getting better she will be having lots of personal issues to deal with. If she sees she is getting a little trust back from you she will either feed on that or she will take advantage of it. Only one way to find out, just go slowly to protect you both.

    I went to outpatient meetings high myself many years ago. I was pretty dumb too. I would get high in the car before I went in so I understand exactly what you are talking about with her doing that. Doesn't do a lot of good going wasted to a meeting.

    I think the main thing is that she is going to have to change EVERYTHING in her life. So any new directions you can nudge her towards and get some interest from her will be an improvement for her over the status quo. She is going to have to find SOMETHING that she personally enjoys to maintain her interest and participation. That will likely take some time. I know you realize you've got a long road ahead for you both. Wish I could be more helpful.

    I'm sorry you guys have had so much to deal with in her short life. It's just a small portion of eternity though. It's never too late for a person's life to change. All things are possible through Christ or I wouldn't be here today. You are both in my prayers. God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  29. #29
    kathleen5hockey is offline Advanced Member
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    Saw a kid overdose and die today, he looked young. I was waiting for my daughter at the Suboxone clinic in the parking lot. So tragic, all he had to do was walk in and ask for help. I give everyone who is kicking the addiction alot of credit. For all of you - keep on going, life is worth living. My preacher always says that God has great plans for all of us, our problems will only make us stronger for His work. Don't give in to the devil (drugs), all they want is your failure. Stay strong! My daughter at age 17 has been clean for 4 weeks!

  30. #30
    kathleen5hockey is offline Advanced Member
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    Here is an update: The kid yesterday overdosed but was revived. Now my daughter tells me that if you OD on >>>>>> or crack they can bring you back and nothing will be wrong with your brain. I found 2 needles in her purse but I have taken her for Suboxone everyday but one, when her boyfriend took her. I hope this is just 1 slip up and will not lead to anything else. The Grandparents gave her money for Easter (against our wishes), but they are just being the generous people they are. They don't know all about her, don't want to break their hearts. That's part of the shame again. I think her and her boyfriend are having kinky sex in her room. I try my best to be on top of them but have to do some housework. She has issues, the problem is that in this state if she chooses not to get help, I cannot force her. I can pay for it though! They all know where to send the bills! I would have to give up parental rights and the state would take her. That would be the end. She needs people around her that LOVE her. I just am nervous inside, you know the feeling when something is just not right. Thanks for being here. It sure helps to get it out and not being face to face.

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