ADDICTION. & i cant understand.

[magsj]

Dear Kathleen:

I have read your posts for many months. I have been on Suboxone since March. My addiction was initially Norco, then to Methadone and now on 4mg Suboxone. I started abusing Norco out of despair after a 10 year battle with depression. I am 52 yo and an RN. I have wanted to write to you for many months to say how sorry I am that you are struggling so much with your daughter. I can't imagine going through this, your story breaks my heart, although I do have great hope that you daughter will come out of this and you will have many years to share together.

HPV (human papilloma virus) is usually a sexually transmited disease. There are many different types of HPV virus. Sometimes it appears as a wart-like growth on the cervix. Some are diagnosed from a pap smear. Some HPV viruses are fairly benign and will eventually run their course, but some HPV viruses can lead to cervical cancer, especially when left untreated. It is very important that your daughter be treated and checked often. The wart-like growths can be removed, but the growths can return and spread around the cervix. If she has these growths and has to continue to have them removed, sometimes the treatment can "weaken" the cervix enough to have problems supporting a pregnancy. Now, this doesn't happen very often, and I don't say this to worry you, BUT this might be something to pass on to your daughter, might make her follow through with treatment and scare her a little. Sometime fear is a great motivator.

Take care of yourself Kathleen and just keep putting one foot in front of the other, I think you have done a great job of coping doing this already. Take your walks and go to the beach, I envy you being able to go to the beach!

Hugs,

mags

[kathleen5hockey]

Thanks Mags for the info. I have told the daughter but she still thinks she is invinsible. I will continue taking her to the doctors as long as she lives here. She says the boyfriend will have his own place in Sept. I hope! Told the husband I would gladly give her my car to just get out of my house. Maybe on their own they will see what life is really about. At court today they gave her 10 hrs community service due in a month and all charges dropped. She had the nerve to ask me for money again! I am truely amazed by her.

This forum is a life savor for me. Many thanks to all of you who help me.

[kathleen5hockey]

Went to Dr today, EKG is fine, going for full blood work tomorrow. Dr. has prescribed Bupropion 100 mg tabs. Any info about these. Are they addicting? Dr. says stay on a month to even me out a bit. I am falling apart.

[melinda7.5]

Went to Dr today, EKG is fine, going for full blood work tomorrow. Dr. has prescribed Bupropion 100 mg tabs. Any info about these. Are they addicting? Dr. says stay on a month to even me out a bit. I am falling apart.

Hi Kathleen
I pulled up some info for you, I have been thinking about you the last few days...
I know right now it seems like this will never end...but it will, after they move out

I have a son who is now 30 years old, he was a hard child to raise...and like you I was counting the days untii he turned 18.

Things really change after they move out, your daughter will start to come to you for help, and she will see you in a different lite...
and I know things look greener on the other side of the fence.
but I think your husband really loves you and I'm sure he needs you just as much as you need him...
The kids grow up and it will be just you and your man...
I understand when you are going thru something like this, is fun to think about someone coming up on the white horse and riding off into the sunset...but things never work out that way, so I hope you don't mind me telling you this, but just try to focus on the man you got right now. try to get closer to him, when this is all over it will make you both stronger and closer together...
just keep the bond together, and things will get better...
Hang in there your best days are yet to come...

There really is life after kids
Hang in there...
Melinda

What is bupropion?




Bupropion is an antidepressant medication.

Bupropion is used to treat major depressive disorder and seasonal affective disorder. At least one brand (Zyban) is used to help people stop smoking by reducing cravings and other withdrawal effects.

Bupropion may also be used for purposes other than those listed in this medication guide.

Important information about bupropion
Do not take bupropion if you have taken a monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI) such as isocarboxazid (Marplan), phenelzine (Nardil), rasagiline (Azilect), selegiline (Eldepryl), or tranylcypromine (Parnate) in the last 14 days. You should not take bupropion if you have seizures, an eating disorder, if you are using a second form of bupropion, or if you have suddenly stopped using alcohol or sedatives.

Bupropion may cause seizures, especially in people with certain medical conditions or when using certain drugs. Tell your doctor about all of your medical conditions and the drugs you use.

You may have thoughts about suicide when you first start taking an antidepressant, such as bupropion, especially if you are younger than 24 years old. Your doctor will need to check you at regular visits for at least the first 12 weeks of treatment.

Call your doctor at once if you have any new or worsening symptoms such as: mood or behavior changes, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, or if you feel impulsive, irritable, agitated, hostile, aggressive, restless, hyperactive (mentally or physically), more depressed, or have thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself. Do not smoke at any time if you are using a nicotine product along with Zyban. Too much nicotine can cause serious side effects. Avoid drinking alcohol while taking bupropion. Alcohol may increase your risk of a seizure while you are taking bupropion.

Before taking bupropion
Do not take bupropion if you have taken a monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI) such as isocarboxazid (Marplan), phenelzine (Nardil), rasagiline (Azilect), selegiline (Eldepryl), or tranylcypromine (Parnate) in the last 14 days. You should not take bupropion if you have:

epilepsy or a seizure disorder;

an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia;

if you are using a second form of bupropion; or

if you have suddenly stopped using alcohol or sedatives (such as Valium).

Bupropion may cause seizures, especially in people with certain medical conditions or when using certain drugs. Tell your doctor about all of your medical conditions and the drugs you use.

If you have certain conditions, may need a dose adjustment or special tests to safely take this medication. Before taking bupropion, tell your doctor if you have:

heart disease, high blood pressure, history of heart attack;

a history of head injury, seizures, or brain or spinal cord tumor;

kidney disease;
liver disease (especially cirrhosis);
bipolar disorder (manic depression);

You may have thoughts about suicide when you first start taking an antidepressant, especially if you are younger than 24 years old. Tell your doctor if you have worsening symptoms of depression or suicidal thoughts during the first several weeks of treatment, or whenever your dose is changed.

Your family or other caregivers should also be alert to changes in your mood or symptoms. Your doctor will need to check you at regular visits for at least the first 12 weeks of treatment.

FDA pregnancy category C. It is not known whether this medication is harmful to an unborn baby. Before taking bupropion, tell your doctor if you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant during treatment. Bupropion passes into breast milk and could be harmful to a nursing baby. Do not take this medicine without telling your doctor if you are breast-feeding a baby. Do not give this medication to anyone younger than 18 years old without the advice of a doctor.

[kathleen5hockey]

Hi Melinda, I hope you are feeling better and surgery went well. You have a great guy with you. No, I won't leave my man, he is a great guy and I love him very much. It is nice to have an eqo boost at times. I will never be any ones mistress, that's for sure! Am still on the fence regarding taking medication. After living with drugs I find it hard to take them. The thoughts of suicide part really scares me. Will find out the results of blood work first. Plus, it says don't go into the sun for a long period of time, that in itself will be hard. If anyone out there has taken this medication please give me your feelings on how it worked for you. Daughter is looking better, her face is all cleared up. It's the weekend so of course I am worried. Thanks again for being here for me, all of you! I can't stress enough how much it helps to be on this forum and to have people I have never met care so deeply about my family and me. God bless all of you!

[MaisieC]

Hi Kathleen,

Bupropion is the generic for the antidepressant Wellbutrin. I took it for a while and had a very good experience with it. It is not addictive. It's not an SSRI--that is, it does not act on serotonin in the brain but rather on dopamine and norepinephrine. It does not cause the sexual side effects that the SSRIs can cause.

Although it was developed as an antidepressant, it was also found to be very useful in helping people stop smoking and is often prescribed for that purpose. So maybe it will benefit you in two ways! I remember the doctor gave it to my dad when he was trying to quit smoking.

I hope it helps you get through all this!

Take care,
Maisie

[melinda7.5]

Hi Kathleen
Thanks for wishing me well...I went to the doctor today he said I can get my tubes out on Tuesday so thet will be a happy day for me... your so right it is nice to get a complement sometimes, It can make a real ********py day not seem so bad...
I'm glad your daughters face is clearing up...I bet she is just a beautiful girl
What is her name. we all say your daughter, if you don't want it posted on here I understand...
We could make up a name so we have something to call her...

I'm not a good person to ask about antidepressant I really tried to take them they said it might help wih my fibro...not one of them did any good for me...
and I tried a lot of them...but for some people they say it saved there lives.

My daughter (Amanda)was having Took them for about a month or two and her grades
went from straight A's to straight F's she said they made her feel emotionless
so she quit taking them without me knowing.she said it felt horrible for about a month...I would have made her taper off, but she is just as pig headed as me.LOL
she was not on wellbutrin, she was celexiea or something like that I just cant spell it...

but you could try them to see if they work for you..
If you dont mind me asking why do you want take them...is it from stress...
or for the cigarettes...LOL Robert just told me it was time to go laydown on the couch....
I will talk to you tomorrow
have a good night and

[kathleen5hockey]

Dr gave them to me for stress and to help quit smoking. I will try it. Daughters name is Amy. She is a beautiful intelligent little girl. She is tiny, just like her mother. We don't stand 5' tall but we are powerhouses! My nerves are shot, skin breaking out, hair falling out. After 3 yrs of heroin abuse by Amy has finally gotten to me. Today already I spaced out, went for blood work and husband said he would wait for me so we could go on the Harley for breakfast, well, got home didn't see the bike or him so I took myself out. He was waiting for me in the shade. When he called me I got all nervous again, for no reason, he wasn't mad. Girlfriend wants to go out dancing tonight but I want to go on a date with husband. Don't think drinking will solve anything, plus I have to read at church tomorrow, don't want a hangover to do that. Tell Robert to take good care of you, which I am sure he is. You both are very lucky to have found each other. Nothing better than having someone love you.

[Robert_325]

Dr gave them to me for stress and to help quit smoking. I will try it. Daughters name is Amy. She is a beautiful intelligent little girl. She is tiny, just like her mother. We don't stand 5' tall but we are powerhouses! My nerves are shot, skin breaking out, hair falling out. After 3 yrs of heroin abuse by Amy has finally gotten to me. Today already I spaced out, went for blood work and husband said he would wait for me so we could go on the Harley for breakfast, well, got home didn't see the bike or him so I took myself out. He was waiting for me in the shade. When he called me I got all nervous again, for no reason, he wasn't mad. Girlfriend wants to go out dancing tonight but I want to go on a date with husband. Don't think drinking will solve anything, plus I have to read at church tomorrow, don't want a hangover to do that. Tell Robert to take good care of you, which I am sure he is. You both are very lucky to have found each other. Nothing better than having someone love you.

Hi Kathleen .... haven't talked with you in a while. I've been kind of busy and side-tracked here recently with Melinda. You don't have to worry. Melinda is getting pretty doggone good care I guarantee. I don't mind doing it in the least ... in fact I insist. What else would I possibly be doing when the lady I love is having such serious problems? Being there for each other is what life is all about. I am totally blessed to have found Melinda. We have a great life together and it's just beginning.

You should keep working on making your relationship with your husband your top priority right behind your relationship with Christ. God should be first, your spouse second and everything else (including daughter) comes next. That is Biblical Kathleen. You guys have the rest of your life together. Focus on making that the most important thing in your life other than God. You can pray for your daughter, talk with her, but ultimately it's not anything you can control. You can only control your choices so make each decision you make something that will have a positive impact on your life if at all possible.

I continue to keep your family in my prayers. I pray that your daughter will allow God to touch her and lead her back to what HE always had planned for her. Do the best you can and that is all you can do. Hang in there. God bless.

[melinda7.5]

Hi Kathleen
if I were you I think I would try them...no stress and no smoking,,,,well what more could you ask for ...When does Amy turn 18 I know you said before. but I'm to lazy to go back and look
And with all stress you have been under, NO WONDER your body is just
trying to distrack you from all the mess your in...
I see alot pics of people on this forum,You would be so surprised at what every one looks like, they are all beautiful and seem to be well off
These drugs don't care how pretty or rich you are,,,the devil just wants your soul. ask God to help you...

and your right on another thing...Robert is a wonderful Man,,,LOL he went with me to the urologist yestarday...
I don't know if you have been reading about what is going on with me.
But let me tell you Robert has seen more things than any man should have to endure in a life time...LOL I was laughing with the doctor.and was telling him if he can stick with me thru this, we will have it made...he has gone above the call of duty...
talk to you soon, Melinda
Let us know how your doing

[kathleen5hockey]

It's good to hear from you again Robert. You and Melinda are just oooooosing love, right thru the computer! You are correct, God is first, have been working on that, very involved with my new church. The husband and I went on the cycle last night to a rest. on the ocean. Had a great meal and lot's of fun, the sunset was beautiful on the deck. Girlfriend wanted me to go out dancing but just wanted a date with my man. Daughter broke up with her bf and actually went on a date. Young ones move fast! Anyway, the boy came to the door, took her to the beach and back home by 9:30. Told her to demand good treatment. Of course the bf is back in the pic today. Am worried, she has been drug free for a week, I think. Will have to wait and see. Amy will be 18 in Jan. Dad took her for her license but didn't have all the paperwork. She did go to church today again and actually stayed with me for coffee, sat and talked. She is so beautiful when straight.

I started taking the meds yesterday, only took 1 pill. It is helping with my itching already, mood has been better, don't feel high or anything. Dr. wants me to take 2/day, just wanted to try one. It really helps with not smoking! I am amazed! This afternoon felt cravings, will start 2 tomorrow.

Thanks to all of you, I feel somewhat closer to you than family. My family doesn't know even a piece of what you do.

[jbchicken]

We got our son out of rehab after 60 days. He has already found alcohol. Don't know how many more times my heart can be broken. Past hope. Like this thread says, "i can't understand." Why would anyone want to turn and go back anywhere near the path of destruction? Moms shouldn't have to go through this. No loved one should.

[kathleen5hockey]

We got our son out of rehab after 60 days. He has already found alcohol. Don't know how many more times my heart can be broken. Past hope. Like this thread says, "i can't understand." Why would anyone want to turn and go back anywhere near the path of destruction? Moms shouldn't have to go through this. No loved one should.

I understand and feel your pain. The problem is that you keep the hope because you know deep down that your child wants help. It's really deep down though. I think it especially hard for mom's, even more than dad's because we carried these children, gave them life, protected them from harm for so many years. All of a sudden we can't protect them - even from themselves. My heart has also been broken, many times. It's a tease, they look good, are trying to change then bam, it starts again. I truely believe that to get over the addiction a total life style change has to happen. My daughter always tells me that the dealers are her friends, they are nice to her, she feels comfortable with them. It's to hard for our children to face reality and really try to fit in with society.

I am really sorry, just know that you are not alone. I am here for you.

[kathleen5hockey]

Hi Melinda, no, I have not seen your posts regarding medical problems. Just hope all is well. Robert, the daughter was hallucinating last night. She was very upset that I don't believe all she tells me. I do believe it, just don't think talking to someone high - (I think crack) will get anywhere. She said that while talking on her cell to the bf she heard alot of crackling sounds then a male voice very sinister saying hello.

I do believe that the devil is working in her. I also believe that the more she goes to church the harder the devil will work to keep her.

Oh well, let's see what today brings.

[jbchicken]

He went to Intensive Outpatient Counseling last night. Apoligized for his behavior this past weekend. Am praying for a miracle, a lightbulb, something to go off so that past choices don't become current choices. Negative drug screen last night, so that's good. Enrolling in college. That's good. One day at a time... Sweet Jesus.

[kathleen5hockey]

I'm glad he is trying. Hopefully will succeed. I find the hardest thing is talking to my kid like the old days, it's really hard not to direct everything. Am working on how I react to her. My reactions sometimes dictate the results. You are correct, one day at a time. Keep posting, we are here.

[jbchicken]

Yea, it's hard to just talk about stuff without turning all talk into something serious. His dad & I just had this conversation at lunch. You know that the addict gets tired of all conversations revolving around them and their choices and past screw ups. But for us as parents, we're so focused on cramming good info/advice/goals/choices/God that information overload can become a big turn off. At some point it goes back to them being responsible for their sobriety and if we as parents are working harder to protect their sobriety than they are, then there's a problem. I pray that our children will wake up and smell the coffee. The road they were/are on only leads to death or jail. We do jail ministry (Kairos), but I sure don't want it to be our children that we are visiting. I do know, however, there's some mom/dad out there that is thrilled that we do. Keep praying. God is mighty to save.
Julia <><

[kathleen5hockey]

Julia we are on the same road. It's as if my happiness has been torn out of me. While driving together today our favorite song from before drugs came on. We used to sing and I would make hand jestures to the song, just laugh. Today, nothing. She did turn it up and try to get me to laugh but it's just not in me anymore. I don't talk in the car, she says all I do is yell at her, I am half deaf which accounts for the loud voice. I understand what she is saying, it's always, get a job, etc. So now I am just silent. It kills me that she sleeps all day, then goes out with bf. What kind of life is this? She is going to driving school, trying to throw her a bone but knows that without a job there is no car. I have to treat both kids the same. Son had a job, bought his own car, put it in his name and his own insurance. I made him do it that way. How can I change the rules for a child who has put us thru so much h--l? It's as if we are rewarding her and punishing him. Tomorrow we are spending a family day, going to Belmont to watch the horses. Figure that a few hours together might help. I am trying to put some fun into our lives again.

[jbchicken]

Yes I do know what you mean about happiness. God revealed that sin to me when I realized that my happiness was so hinged on my kids, my family etc rather than the "joy of the Lord" being my strength. I continue to fight that because I find it so hard to separate my feelings from their circumstances. We have to somehow as it says in Isaiah 40:31 place our hope in the Lord so our strength will be renewed. If we can't trust God to work through this situation, who can we trust? Therein lies the battle of our flesh. Our kids, because they are grown, in a sense, have to also choose to fight the flesh. If they don't, they will lose. The road only leads 2 ways; life abundant or death. I pray they choose wisely.

Good to take a day and try to re-focus. I hope that y'alls outing to Belmont was awesome. The addict needs to see that life will move on with or without them and that life can be good regardless of them. Focus on your marriage too because at the end of the day, he's the most important person for you in this relationship.

Take care and let us know how y'all are doing. The group is praying for your family! - Julia <><

[kathleen5hockey]

Julia, you are so correct. It is hard to make yourself believe happiness comes from God and inside of you, not others. I struggle with this.

Yesterday at Belmont was interresting. It is really hard for us to get along. We got lost getting there, temps were rising. At the park was fun. Amy had a slight melt down. While watching the horses getting washed down she yelled at the workers to go easy. Embarrased me, then she started swearing and acting really weird. I get embarrased easily. I should have been proud of her for standing up for the horses and speaking her mind. What makes me upset is the f'n this, etc. The ride home was better. It seems as if everyone is getting on my nerves. Thank goodness I took my Welbutrin with me. Husband drives like a jerk, son wears his pants down on his ankles and daughter, well, what can I say. I have to distance myself from this insanity. The good news is I only had 2 cigs yesterday! Thanks for letting me vent.

[jbchicken]

did y'all win any $$ on the ponies?

When my son was still fresh in the sobriety, melt downs were common. I think it just takes awhile for their emotions to settle down. As for us... Wellbutrin or whatever it takes to keep us from losing our mind. It's important, I think, for them to know we're not superwoman, but equally important for them to know that we are not going to let their stupidity ruin our day. Also important for them to understand that the family is not going to revolve around them. They have to work at it; they have to do "this thing." If they want to be treated like adults/family members/human beings, then for goodness sake act like one. Anyway, hopefully she'll turn the corner. Is she going to AA, NA or counseling with regular drug testing? Who, besides you and dad, are holding her accountable for her sobriety? The courts? School? If she doesn't think that anybody can "make her" do the right thing, the flesh is not going to choose to do it. Bless your heart. Keep plugging along. Hopefully she can connect with a good group that will help facilitate positive change before everyone reaches the end of the rope. Still praying for y'all. - Julia <><

[magsj]

Kathleen and JB:

Just a note to say that I am thinking of you both. JB what wise words "they need to know that life goes on with or without them", very true and very timely. I can apply this to myself ......I kind of opted out of life for awhile and this made me think "I can chose to join in and participate in life or sit on the sideline". Very appropriate thought for the day as I tend to isolate.

One thing I can vouch for...I have a son that is 35 now; there was a time when we struggled to have a relationship but now that he is grown and has children of his own, for the most part, he is an absolute delight. He tells me he loves me every time we talk on the phone, etc. I have faith your children with conquer this disease and, like I used to tell my husband, they will be adults much longer than they will be children. They DO come around with time and maturity and you will have many peacefull joyous years together!

Hugs,
Mags

[kathleen5hockey]

I have come to the conclusion that my family is broken. The only way I can explain is I have the glue and am running from crack to crack to fix it but never keeping up. That's the way I feel. We went from the typical suburban family. My husband and I were raised in this town, our families still live here. We were the family playing basketball together, sled riding down the hill, all the kids were always here. We had love. Now we have nervousness, everyone is on edge, just waiting to see what Amy does next. She controls this household. It has taken a huge tole on my marriage. Hubby is so sad, he really has aged in these past 3 yrs, as have I. We both have lost our hair, our happiness, our love of live. Our son has suffered, although it has made him hard. He strives to succeed, I feel he is trying to make up for his crazy sister. He is an old man, he has seen and heard more than he should have. He should never have had to hold his sister back from beating me up. Heroin has broken my family and will eventually kill my daughter.

I found another needle.

[jbchicken]

Our house went through the same thing until we identified we were trying to fix a problem that the owner of the problem didn't have the will or want to fix. You can't stop it for them. Get her out of the house and into Inpatient Rehab for 90-120 days at the least. Have her court ordered to be there so she can't checkout. Forbid bf to darken the door. She's got to break the cycle, go through Detox in a safe environment and get some professional help. Y'all can't fix this but neither can she. You stated correctly. Heroin will kill her. Period. If you try to keep her at home, you'll destroy your family and the needle will kill her. Get her out of there and put her somewhere that can "Stop the Madness." As Mags said, there is life on the other side of addiction, but we have to get them to survive that long. We used a state mental health facility rather than private bc of the $$. Not sure what you have available in your area, but get her out of the house and into treatment before she kills herself. And by the way, having her in treatment will be the best thing for you, your husband (dad) and son (brother). It will give y'all an opportunity to exhale and take back some control of your emotions and life. Good luck Mom. We're here for you. Julia <><

[jbchicken]

Kathleen and JB:

Just a note to say that I am thinking of you both. JB what wise words "they need to know that life goes on with or without them", very true and very timely. I can apply this to myself ......I kind of opted out of life for awhile and this made me think "I can chose to join in and participate in life or sit on the sideline". Very appropriate thought for the day as I tend to isolate.

One thing I can vouch for...I have a son that is 35 now; there was a time when we struggled to have a relationship but now that he is grown and has children of his own, for the most part, he is an absolute delight. He tells me he loves me every time we talk on the phone, etc. I have faith your children with conquer this disease and, like I used to tell my husband, they will be adults much longer than they will be children. They DO come around with time and maturity and you will have many peacefull joyous years together!

Hugs,
Mags

----
Praise God they grow up. Thank you for the encouragement. He's a great son but certainly jumped into something that made him someone we didn't know. I am praying that the God who can move mountains will deliver and heal him. Thank you for your input from the other side. We need to hear that. - Julia<><

[Robert_325]

Julia ..... your advice sounds good on the surface and it would seem that it would work. But the truth is that you can check someone into a rehab but if they're an adult they can walk out the door anytime they want. Don't kid yourself they can do it. I've done it myself and no one could do a thing to stop me legally.

The only ways that an adult patient CAN'T leave a rehab facility is if they are locked in by the courts or if you get the patient declared mentally incompetent by the state, obtain official guardianship over their affairs and have them committed. It isn't that easy to do and guardianship isn't typically granted because a person has a drug problem. The courts would just about as soon let them mess up and throw them in jail.

This problem isn't as simple to fix as it would seem it should be. If a person chooses to kill themself with heroin there isn't a great deal one can do to stop them unless they go to the extreme of having the person locked away in a cell. And that isn't very easy to do. God bless.

[jbchicken]

Julia ..... your advice sounds good on the surface and it would seem that it would work. But the truth is that you can check someone into a rehab but if they're an adult they can walk out the door anytime they want. Don't kid yourself they can do it. I've done it myself and no one could do a thing to stop me legally.

The only ways that an adult patient CAN'T leave a rehab facility is if they are locked in by the courts or if you get the patient declared mentally incompetent by the state, obtain official guardianship over their affairs and have them committed. It isn't that easy to do and guardianship isn't typically granted because a person has a drug problem. The courts would just about as soon let them mess up and throw them in jail.

This problem isn't as simple to fix as it would seem it should be. If a person chooses to kill themself with heroin there isn't a great deal one can do to stop them unless they go to the extreme of having the person locked away in a cell. And that isn't very easy to do. God bless.

---
I concur. Fortunately for Kat, Amy is still under age and as a legal guardian could leverage some control. Heroin is a killer, no doubt, and without the addict's active participation in recovery and group (AA/NA), I don't see how anybody could walk away from it. Thx so much for the forum. - great resource for those of us in the valley. Julia <><

[kathleen5hockey]

Robert is correct. She has been in 5 re-habs and 2 phyc hospitals, I have gone to the courts (they said she is fine). There is nothing legally I can do. I have gone to Probate (used to work there), they said the same thing. A doctor has to declare her incompetent. It is a long drawn out procedure. Jail is not the answer, there are more drugs in jail. So what is the answer? There is none. It is all up to her. Am trying to convince hubby to take a vacation without me. He needs to be alone. It's so sad. He wakes up tired, looks terrible, won't even kiss me anymore. I am afraid my husband will leave me and more afraid he will leave me with her! We are all zombies in our house because of heroin.

No, we didn't win any bucks but the horses were beautiful. Her school drug tests her but it means nothing. There is no one to hold her accountable.

[Lost83]

Hi Kathleen,

You need a break, I know the economy SUCKS and speaking for myself, finances are tight but if you can afford a weekend get away, I would highly suggest it, just you and your hubby, on the beach, in the mountains, where ever just the two of you away from all the bs. When my life was spiraling out of control because of my husbands addiction, me and my bestest girlfriend took a long weekend and went to Daytona right on the beach, just the 2 of us and the beach. It's obviously not going to fix the problem but will give you and your husband some quality time together, to reconnect. It's so important that you guys do things to keep your marriage alive even through all this turmoil because one day, the kids will be out for good and it will just be you and him. Don't make the only thing you have in common anymore your children or it will all come tumbling down when they leave. Just a suggestion. I know when I need a break, I don't take my own hints and usually have to be told to even consider to notion, just a suggestion....

[kathleen5hockey]

Hi Lost, have talked to hubby about going away. He says yes at first then changes his mind. Told him what ever happens while we are away would happen even if we were here. He is afraid to leave her home, I am afraid that she will start a fight with her brother and both of them get arrested. She has done that before. Am going to call a girlfriend to go away for a few days. I think hubby and I need some alone time.