12 days and about to relapse Help!

[nadina]

Hi everyone! Ive been reading posts for some time now and it helped me so much.I finally got a direction in my recovery and found out about the ways to get clean and stay clean.Unfortunately on my 1st day the thread I started didnt go through,but so far its been 12 days staying off percs and I do feel better about it.I guess I am in serious need of some support,cause Ive been not that good with the mental part of quitting.Today I had to go to the dentist and starting to feel some pain now.My doc gave me 10 vics and I filled it.I am so tempted to take it but Im horrified of how its going to make me feel after.Ive been on pain pills for over 2 years taking them every day so this last couple of weeks has been the longest ive been off them during this time.When will I start to have more energy? and how do people deal with it emotionally.Sometimes I do feel like Im much slower and the anxiety I get sometimes is so overwhelming.It seems like there will never be the end of it. I feel like the first few days I was so much more determined to quit so I need to get that feelings back.Any advice will be very much appreciated.Thanks

[Comeback Kid]

I'll be straight. It aint gonna be a week, or two weeks, hell even a month. Im almost 3 months in and still am battling anxiety. Its a slow process, but in the end it is SOOOO worth it. You will begin to see the fruits of your labor and you will realize more and more you don't need pills to make life worth living. Good luck to you.

Check out these quotes below: can't say much more than that

[iloerose]

Nadina- Hope you're still there: Throw the vics away. Now. You will be o.k. 12 days isn't that long to be off. Your energy will return. Throw the vics away. Take a walk. Get out of the house whatever. You will be alright. Getting clean isn't an event it's a process and you've got temptation sitting with you. Good luck and best wishes to you. People are here if you need to talk.

IloeRose

[thalia45]

It just starts the whole process again....

[iloerose]

Nadina- Post back and let us know how you are doing.

Iloerose

[NoMoreOxy]

Please don't make the mistake of using again. You will experience the WD all over again. I just submitted a post about me making the same mistake here: http://www.drugs.com/forum/need-talk...ean-61431.html

Stay strong!

NMO

[nadina]

Thank you so much for replying and it does help to hear from people.So many stories and the same advice:do not do that.I took a couple of advils and went to the gym.It is truly amazing what a good workout can do to you.I feel so much better.And even proud of myself a little.Actually a lotThis damn pills were there with me but I didnt even touch it.I thought how hard was it for me to get on this side and thought I do not want to go through that again.I quit the first time this New Year and went back to using again in 4 days I thought Ill just take 1 today and 1 here and there Ended up doing 8-10 again every day for 4 months after And its so true, comeback kid, that the W/D are the same Even if u take one pill.Thanks for proving this theory to me I thought the more time passes by the less you think about them And I didnt think about them that much till this saturday when I went out and had a drink Club is my trigger and I almost slipped but something inside me is stronger this time and thank you friends for listening and all the support.Will keep posting

[Comeback Kid]

you have every right to be proud of yourself. Just imagine the pride you will find in the future Good luck

[SuzieOf]

When you get tempted think of what you will be throwing away for 4 hours of being high. You worked so hard to get here and even though there are bad days it gets better and better as you heal, you will get stronger and happier and you don't want to throw that away to get back into the misery you had before. Be proud and get rid of temptation... throw the pills away so you won't have to think about it!

[NoMoreOxy]

Hello Nadina.

Great work! Good for you. Just wanted to know I was watching this thread and rooting for you.

NMO

[Anonymous]

get rid of the pills NOW while you are feeling strong. coz its gonna come up again and if you have them, they will call your name....

GET RID OF THE PILLS....

[ARTIST658]

Congrats on 12 days!

I'd like to pass on a few suggestions, as someone several years down the road - who learned all of it the hard way! The only way past the anxiety (or any withdrawal symptoms) is through them. There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. There's no set timetable to when the anxiety will pass, but each day clean is one day closer to relief. A step back with a single pill will completely invalidate all your progress. (It's not like breaking a diet with a piece of chocolate cake, then you can jump back on the diet train - the disease of addiction needs only one pill - or one drink - to activate it.) Your history has already shown you that, so heed the lesson, and please don't repeat it! Cheeky is completely right - it is best to get rid of the pills immediately. Keeping them around will be a constant temptation, and our disease does not deal well with any kind of "safety net" or temptation. Those pills will gnaw at you until you give in to them.

Drinking doesn't mix with recovery from pills. It is all the same disease, and any mood-altering, mind-altering, addictive substance is going to be a trigger to your disease. I've explained it a little further with this post: http://www.drugs.com/forum/need-talk...hol-60373.html

Recovery means complete abstinance. Your anxiety (or any other side effect of drug abuse) will not pass if you continue to use any other chemical of abuse, including alcohol. Your brain chemistry needs to heal - and it can not heal if you continue to tease that motivation/reward center in your brain. Your system has the ability to moderate emotions - and experience joy and peace, all on its own. But it takes time free of any drug to do so.

Anxiety is a frequent issue early in recovery. As addicts, we don't know how to cope with anxiety, as drugs always did it in the past. We need to learn how to navigate all sorts of new feelings when we stop the drug(s). I urge you to get yourself to some NA or AA meetings. Through the 12-step program, that's where we learn the tools we need to cope with life free of an addictive substance. I wouldn't be clean and sober today, had I tried to do it on my own.

Sending prayers for your recovery, Nadina...

God bless,
Ruth

[justanothergirl]

Nadina,

I'm glad to hear you didn't take them. I posted on here about two weeks ago about what I've gone through. I won't get into that, but I ran out of my meds. Was off a few days, went through the beginnings of withdrawl, felt completely awful and I promptly went back to my dr. got 90 more perks and took them ALL in two weeks. I have no idea what the hell I was thinking. I never took so many before. That was last week. I think I've finally decided I'm done. I ran out and haven't called the doc, or another doc for any more. My last pill was last Friday morning. Some of my mental clarity is coming back, but I'm still so slow. I have no energy and my mood swings are awful. I cry over nothing and anything. The only thing that keeps me going is just remembering how I felt when I popped the pills. It really isn't that great of a feeling. I didn't like feeling so out of it anymore. I have to stare at something for 10 minutes before I even realize what I'm looking at. So, that helps me to not take them. I went cold turkey. I've got aches and pains but I'm getting through it. I am waiting for joy to return. I actually had a little sliver of excitement yesterday over something and it's been a long time since I've had that feeling. without popping a pill. Best of luck to you. Just keep reminding yourself of why you DONT need them.

[nadina]

Im glad that this question was brough up about what to do after 17 days.I guess I read a lot of posts on W/D but even though that time was a pure hell its not over after 4-5 days. I feel so raw now and it sucks but mostly I feel better. I feel proud for not relapsing yesterday and Im not thinking about pills that much today.Its weird but I thought about the pills the strongest yesterday since i quit.someone mentioned that I have to get to day 30-60 because thats when it feels different and its so encouraging I think i can do that With all the support here thank you so much.I agree that you have to stay away from alcohol as well It was my friends wedding this weekend and I know its not an excuse to drink but I didnt take any pills so I feel like I won one bottle.So happened that I happened to be in a club too and I just couldnt stand to be around people drinking and doing drugs.Im 27 now and Ive done my share of clubbing Its just doesnt feel the same anymore.I have so many friends who still lead trhat lifestyle and I try to distance myself from them now.Its really hard And its sad that we lose touch now but I just feel like we are going different directions now.How to say no and explain Im done with all that without hurting my friendships? I guess I always think about other people feelings more than about my own.We were friend before drugs were in it so why cant we be having fun without them now? I cant make my friends change their mind I guess its something they have comke to on their own I just really want to encourage them.I feel like Im drawn to people who dont need drugs to have fun and feel joy now
I was so depressed when I got back on pills after my first relapse and was constantly beating myself up but couldnt stop.I thank GOd for bringing me to this site cause I dont know if I could do that without everyone's help.I read some books and thought my only way was to go to rehab.But I cant afford that,Id lose my job.my house,and people would never look the same at me again.Knowing that so many people were able to do it without 30 days rehab gave me some power and hope and got me to this place Im at right now.I have to remind myself about it every day.And thank you for reminding me how bad that life was.I almost relapsed yesterday and its weird that I was thinking about the pills the strongest on my 12 day since the day I quit.Today Im happy that I didnt and so I won another battle

[nadina]

Im glad you are going strong and I was feeling the same too I cried and cried and I think you have to get beaten up to get here so the main goal is not to get yourself there again.I would not want to go throgh that again it was really hard and you are so right that you have to remind yourself about it everyday.I thought about what that addiction did to me ,my life,my frienships and relationships.And I want out I distanced myself from everything I loved.I forgot about all my hobbies Its crazy how addiction can rob you off the things you love. I was so lonely.Keep posting Ill be checking on you and good luck


For justanothergirl

[justanothergirl]

since I wrote my post this morning I've just felt terrible all day. Turned my house upside down looking for a pill. The urges were incredible and I have no idea why I started off the day feeling ok and then it got worse? I can only hope tomorrow, day 5 is better. Congrats on making it through and here's to staying strong.

[nadina]

since I wrote my post this morning I've just felt terrible all day. Turned my house upside down looking for a pill. The urges were incredible and I have no idea why I started off the day feeling ok and then it got worse? I can only hope tomorrow, day 5 is better. Congrats on making it through and here's to staying strong.

You have to really really want to stop taking pills Ive been doing the same thing looking for a pill every time i would W/D but this last time after relapsing a few times I just kept reading all this posts and learning .It helps a lot to know that it will not be like that bad forever and you can go through that.Just think about how awful you will feel all over again.You didnt come to this website cause you were enjoying taking pills So just remember

[nadina]

I also kept writing in a journal and Just read about my first 3 days I got terrible restless legs s,couldnt sleep or eat. I lost so much weigh And I couldnt get out of bed Well I have a healthy appetite now and sleep just fine My legs dont bother me even though I had a very intense legs workout yesterday Its definitely a progress If I can do it you can do it just stop looking for the pills

[nadina]

since I wrote my post this morning I've just felt terrible all day. Turned my house upside down looking for a pill. The urges were incredible and I have no idea why I started off the day feeling ok and then it got worse? I can only hope tomorrow, day 5 is better. Congrats on making it through and here's to staying strong.

Most importantly you should try the Thomas recipe.You shouldnt suffer like that going through W/D.It helped me a lot this time Hot baths,drink water and fluids ,try to eat The more you pamper youreself the faster the W/D go.