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10 pm tonight...I'm 1 week clean!!!!
  1. #1
    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    Default 10 pm tonight...I'm 1 week clean!!!!

    I want each and everyone of you to know I COULD NOT have done without all your support. Moneychick, I read an old post of yours that you were done adding to this forum, thank god you didn't. You inspired me in ways each and everyone of you did in your own way. Please don't ever think any of you have nothing left to add. I know that I have a long way to go, I know I will have bad days, but EACH and EVERY SINGLE one of you were right. I gets easier. But you have to want it. My husband gets paid today, first check in god knows how long, we have money!! We both are actually excited to pay bills!! Does that sound goofy or what? For the rest of my life, I will think of this forum and all of you. You have all saved my life, if that's not adding anything to this forum, what is there to add? Sounds silly coming from someone you've never met, but I love everyone of you and pray for all of our recovery EVERY NIGHT. Thank you just isn't enough.

  2. #2
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    Hi pbs
    You sound so good. I'm really happy for you.
    Life is so much better when we are not on drugs.
    You can smile at the little things in life again.
    Things will get better for you every day now.
    Talk to you soon, Melinda

  3. #3
    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by melinda7.5 View Post
    Hi pbs
    You sound so good. I'm really happy for you.
    Life is so much better when we are not on drugs.
    You can smile at the little things in life again.
    Things will get better for you every day now.
    Talk to you soon, Melinda
    Melinda, You know, you are exactly right. I took my 8yr old to school this morning, as I do every morning, and I found myself kind of examining her. She's just beautiful. She's so sweet, caring and it was like i was looking at her for the first time. I mean, ive always known she's all of the above, but it was like clearer. I can't explain. Went out to get in the car and the FREEZING wind felt good. The sun was so bright. It sounds so corny, but god, it felt so good. And now I'm eating a banana! and it's delicious! Thanks. Peg

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    cagirl is offline Member
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    Peggy it is true you do start to see things more clearly for me I appreciate the little things in life....And food yes does taste better before I use to eat around my pills so the food wouldnt take from my high...How stupid huh.... Oh, I live in Southern Calif I was a couple hours away from the fires but close enough to smell them there were 2 days it was so bad ( hard to breathe)I just stayed in the house....Take Care And Congratulations!!!!!!

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    Congrats again Peggy! That's so great that you've stuck with it. I wish you continued success and strength. Get on here when you need us.

    I hope I am as successful as you and everyone else who has quit. Tomorrow is the big rough first day. I know it wasn't too bad for you but it always has been for me. I just have to know to expect it and be strong. That's what I keep telling myself. There's no reason to continue this.

    Have a great day!

  6. #6
    icandoitin08 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by pbs8218 View Post
    I want each and everyone of you to know I COULD NOT have done without all your support. Moneychick, I read an old post of yours that you were done adding to this forum, thank god you didn't. You inspired me in ways each and everyone of you did in your own way. Please don't ever think any of you have nothing left to add. I know that I have a long way to go, I know I will have bad days, but EACH and EVERY SINGLE one of you were right. I gets easier. But you have to want it. My husband gets paid today, first check in god knows how long, we have money!! We both are actually excited to pay bills!! Does that sound goofy or what? For the rest of my life, I will think of this forum and all of you. You have all saved my life, if that's not adding anything to this forum, what is there to add? Sounds silly coming from someone you've never met, but I love everyone of you and pray for all of our recovery EVERY NIGHT. Thank you just isn't enough.

    Peg, this is awesome! I love that you are keeping track of the time, lol, I am doing the same thing! at 6:30 I will be 10days also. And it is thanks to EVERYONE here.

    I know what you mean about being excited to pay bills, my husband and I sat down last Sunday and did the same thing. It feels so good to start making a dent. I get direct deposit and I went to the bank this am and took out my money and was looking at it thinking "it is so nice that this is mine, not a dealers" then I went and got a money order and paid my rent (we are on a payment plan for the next 6 weeks) and we still have money left over. I am treating myself. I bought some cosmetics.

    It is crazy how those pills HAD such control over us. When I go to the store now I compare prices like, OK this is 4 dollars and that would have ONLY been ONE LOUSY PILL, look how much more I can get for 4 dollars!

    And we are only 10 days in, think of how great it is going to get!

    Did you send me the message you were talking about?
    Cheryl
    Cheryl
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Every day you don't use, Give your
    self a HUG and do something nice for
    yourself!

  7. #7
    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoMuchToBeCleanFor View Post
    Congrats again Peggy! That's so great that you've stuck with it. I wish you continued success and strength. Get on here when you need us.

    I hope I am as successful as you and everyone else who has quit. Tomorrow is the big rough first day. I know it wasn't too bad for you but it always has been for me. I just have to know to expect it and be strong. That's what I keep telling myself. There's no reason to continue this.

    Have a great day!
    somuch- you know I'm here for you. You know how to get ahold of me. It's ok to be nervous and excited. But god, it feels so good. better than xmas morning when your 8! I actually ate today. That's the first time in days that I have, and it was soooo good. Just remember, when you crave, take a nap, read, walk-even though i couldn't do that myself as melinda well knows, and get on here and talk til you can't anymore. No one knows you, no one sees you, say whatever you feel. Ive said things here I've never said to anyone. Believe me, this high, being clean, is better than any high you can imagine! God, I used to think people that said that stuff were nut jobs, but it's true. I feel my energy level picking up, I'm not avoiding picking up the phone (my mom used to say "She's hiding again"- she did't know, just thought it was my depression. And thank God above, I'm still sleeping like a baby. I'm here, we are all here.....be strong!

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    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by icandoitin08 View Post
    Peg, this is awesome! I love that you are keeping track of the time, lol, I am doing the same thing! at 6:30 I will be 10days also. And it is thanks to EVERYONE here.

    I know what you mean about being excited to pay bills, my husband and I sat down last Sunday and did the same thing. It feels so good to start making a dent. I get direct deposit and I went to the bank this am and took out my money and was looking at it thinking "it is so nice that this is mine, not a dealers" then I went and got a money order and paid my rent (we are on a payment plan for the next 6 weeks) and we still have money left over. I am treating myself. I bought some cosmetics.

    It is crazy how those pills HAD such control over us. When I go to the store now I compare prices like, OK this is 4 dollars and that would have ONLY been ONE LOUSY PILL, look how much more I can get for 4 dollars!

    And we are only 10 days in, think of how great it is going to get!

    Did you send me the message you were talking about?
    Cheryl
    I can't remember, I think i was giving you a hard time about Ohio State/Michigan game tomorrow, you're from Michigan, right? If so, we'll beat you AGAIN!
    I know exactly what you mean about buying things, that is so funny! We'd get money from somewhere, health ins. check back, whatever, and my husband would laugh and say "hey, thats 10 pills". Funny now, but what a sad state that was. I, too, am going to take my daughter to kohls tonight and buy her shoes and some new clothes she so needs. She's a clothes horse, but I've neglected buying for a few months. And Im going to give my 15 yr old $50 to go to the mall, better than the $20 she's been getting. Gosh, the t-shirts she wants are like 40 bucks!! What the heck is going on here? But anyway, life goes on, hopefully clean, and I am so thankful that the last pill I took, I KNEW would be the last and have not even CRAVED for one NOT ONE TIME! See ya!

  9. #9
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    Cheryl,
    Peggy and I were talking about that yesterday, how great it is to have money and how phenomenal it feels to be able to actually spend it on something that truly makes you happy. I bought a great new pair of shoes, and still have over $800 in my bank account- more than my bills are by far. I also bought a sweet new bath pillow for the Thomas recipe hot baths. It's so great to feel the real joy. Let us all keep taking great pleasure in the small things, as we haven't for a long time.

    I also will be counting my time starting tomorrow when I begin! I think it's the only way to stay sane and feel like you've accomplished something. My feeling is count by minutes if you need to! When I get through each hour it'll be like I conquering one of the pill demons!

    Congrats to you too on 10 days! I hope you guys stay on here to help support me so I can ge to 10 days... times 1 million. How do you feel? Peggy knows I'm nervous as hell to start tomorrow, so I'm interested in what your first few days were like? Thanks for your help.

    -Annie

  10. #10
    Anonymous Guest

    Default Way to GO !!

    Quote Originally Posted by pbs8218 View Post
    I want each and everyone of you to know I COULD NOT have done without all your support. Moneychick, I read an old post of yours that you were done adding to this forum, thank god you didn't. You inspired me in ways each and everyone of you did in your own way. Please don't ever think any of you have nothing left to add. I know that I have a long way to go, I know I will have bad days, but EACH and EVERY SINGLE one of you were right. I gets easier. But you have to want it. My husband gets paid today, first check in god knows how long, we have money!! We both are actually excited to pay bills!! Does that sound goofy or what? For the rest of my life, I will think of this forum and all of you. You have all saved my life, if that's not adding anything to this forum, what is there to add? Sounds silly coming from someone you've never met, but I love everyone of you and pray for all of our recovery EVERY NIGHT. Thank you just isn't enough.
    Way to go the primary week of hell is over....dont you run away from me I am right behind you at day 6!!!
    Are you still having any w/d symptoms at day 7 ? I am at day 6 and other than some minor aches I think the worst is gone.

    I am so glad you made it this far way to go !!

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    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM View Post
    Way to go the primary week of hell is over....dont you run away from me I am right behind you at day 6!!!
    Are you still having any w/d symptoms at day 7 ? I am at day 6 and other than some minor aches I think the worst is gone.

    I am so glad you made it this far way to go !!
    im going to call you AFS, your name too long! Thank you for running behind me and rooting for me, but i'm certainly not going to let you beat me! ha,ha. But you're giving me a run for my money (god, good to finally have some, huh?) Today, of course as Ive proudly stated will be one week in about 11 hrs. I am still a little tired, the aches are subsiding, thank god. Then mental is subsiding also, which was the worst of all the w/ds. As I've stated in past threads and posts, I thought my family would be preparing my funeral. They were BAD. But they weren't cravings. I think it was mourning what was such a huge part of my life for so long. That kind of friend you know sucks, but they are still your friend, then when you face them and let them know what you think of them, and that you know all the bad things they have done behind your back, its over, it's still sad. Sometimes you had fun with them, but always in your head, you knew they really werent your friend. It takes a toll on your mind. BUT, that is subsiding. I make sure I take my Vit c's, b-12's, aleves, tylenol arthritis, and a few other vitamins and today, i must say, is my best day yet. Everything seems clearer. I feel good. I wish you well, keep in touch AFS, i'd love to know how you are doing! Thanks for asking.

  12. #12
    icandoitin08 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoMuchToBeCleanFor View Post
    Cheryl,
    Peggy and I were talking about that yesterday, how great it is to have money and how phenomenal it feels to be able to actually spend it on something that truly makes you happy. I bought a great new pair of shoes, and still have over $800 in my bank account- more than my bills are by far. I also bought a sweet new bath pillow for the Thomas recipe hot baths. It's so great to feel the real joy. Let us all keep taking great pleasure in the small things, as we haven't for a long time.

    I also will be counting my time starting tomorrow when I begin! I think it's the only way to stay sane and feel like you've accomplished something. My feeling is count by minutes if you need to! When I get through each hour it'll be like I conquering one of the pill demons!

    Congrats to you too on 10 days! I hope you guys stay on here to help support me so I can ge to 10 days... times 1 million. How do you feel? Peggy knows I'm nervous as hell to start tomorrow, so I'm interested in what your first few days were like? Thanks for your help.

    -Annie
    Hi Peg and Annie,
    Peg, Michigan is going to Kill OHIO!! lol, you are probably right. Michigan has been sucking! I am so glad you are going shopping! It can do wonders for your recovery! Keep it up.

    Annie, I look forward to hearing how your day goes tomorrow. I will be thinking about you. Please update during the day. I have to tell you though, I took the suboxone route. I was so far into the addiction (4yrs) and I was up to 20-30 pills a day. I tried so many many times to stop on my own but could never handle the w/d. It simply sucked! Plus I have two small children and it was impossible to w/d and take care of them.

    You can do this!
    Cheryl
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Every day you don't use, Give your
    self a HUG and do something nice for
    yourself!

  13. #13
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    Default Watch Out

    Quote Originally Posted by icandoitin08 View Post
    Hi Peg and Annie,
    Peg, Michigan is going to Kill OHIO!! lol, you are probably right. Michigan has been sucking! I am so glad you are going shopping! It can do wonders for your recovery! Keep it up.

    Annie, I look forward to hearing how your day goes tomorrow. I will be thinking about you. Please update during the day. I have to tell you though, I took the suboxone route. I was so far into the addiction (4yrs) and I was up to 20-30 pills a day. I tried so many many times to stop on my own but could never handle the w/d. It simply sucked! Plus I have two small children and it was impossible to w/d and take care of them.

    You can do this!
    Hey you have a Florida Gator fan here !! Can you say National Champs...I look forward to watching lots of football and basketball this year without the haze of drugs...

  14. #14
    icandoitin08 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM View Post
    Hey you have a Florida Gator fan here !! Can you say National Champs...I look forward to watching lots of football and basketball this year without the haze of drugs...

    LOL! My husband is a HUGH MICHIGAN FAN. They have not been doing very well... I dont follow it that much. I just like to know the score for each quater for my squares at work.

    I know about the haze. I have so many new emotions and everything coming out. I am working on dealing with them effectivley. I am however enjoying all that life has to offer me. I am finally content.
    Cheryl
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    Every day you don't use, Give your
    self a HUG and do something nice for
    yourself!

  15. #15
    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by icandoitin08 View Post
    LOL! My husband is a HUGH MICHIGAN FAN. They have not been doing very well... I dont follow it that much. I just like to know the score for each quater for my squares at work.

    I know about the haze. I have so many new emotions and everything coming out. I am working on dealing with them effectivley. I am however enjoying all that life has to offer me. I am finally content.
    first of all ABS- I HATE the gators....bunch of pansys haha Buckeyes year may not be this year, but we always are in the running. By the way, Im a HUGE college basketball fan myself....look forward to sparring with you! By the way, I used to live in Florida, 2 yrs in Bellaire Beach and hated every second of it!

    Cheryl- Ive already stated what I think of the cellar dweller michigan people! Haha, Hope that doesn't come back to haunt me.....everything always does!

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    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM View Post
    Hey you have a Florida Gator fan here !! Can you say National Champs...I look forward to watching lots of football and basketball this year without the haze of drugs...
    hey ABS check out the beginning of my thread here, little message for you and cheryl.

  17. #17
    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    You can email me at any time for comfort or strength, just not support for those lousy gators!

  18. #18
    lilbri is offline Member
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    Default pbs8218

    Just keep in that frame of mind peg and you will do fine. brian

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    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilbri View Post
    Just keep in that frame of mind peg and you will do fine. brian
    lilbri-always look for your comments, short as they may be, they ALWAYS make me feel good. Thank you. How are you doing? Peg

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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by pbs8218 View Post
    You can email me at any time for comfort or strength, just not support for those lousy gators!



    why don't you say how you REALLY feel about them gators?

  21. #21
    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    Robert, PLEASE don't tell me you're a Gagger Fan Too?

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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by pbs8218 View Post
    Robert, PLEASE don't tell me you're a Gagger Fan Too?


    No! I just thought it was funny how much you dislike the Gators. Personally I went to the University of Texas.

  23. #23
    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    I'm really an Urban Myer (however you spell that idiots name) despiser! He's an a-hole

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    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM View Post
    Hey you have a Florida Gator fan here !! Can you say National Champs...I look forward to watching lots of football and basketball this year without the haze of drugs...
    hey ABS, who the he** are the citadel bulldogs? Is that the kind of teams the gators play?

  25. #25
    lilbri is offline Member
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    <<<<<<<<<GO GATORS>>>>>>>>ha ha ha ha

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    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    yeah go gators, I hear their having a scrimmage with citadel bulldogs! Wow, no wonder they've won so many games. I despise u. myer..... Thanks for the ribbing lilbri!

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    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert_325 View Post
    why don't you say how you REALLY feel about them gators?
    If I haven't shown how much i absolutely despise the Gators AND their coach, give me an hour or two and I'll tell you why. Coach is full of himself. The only thing I think is worthy on the team is their quarterback. Enough said. Thank you for your time in letting me vent! GO BUCKS!!

  28. #28
    Obscura3 is offline New Member
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    Be proud, friend--10 days is a good hunk of time...eventually it will be months, as Robert says, and then multiple months and finally it will all be a distant memory that we will have used to make us stronger...gd bls

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    pbs8218 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilbri View Post
    Just keep in that frame of mind peg and you will do fine. brian
    Not doing very well today, don't know why, don't want to use, just really really down. And I have the shakes, wierd. Thanks for listening Peg

  30. #30
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    Hi Peggy
    We all have days like that.Just be good to yourself today.
    and give yourself a big pat on the back because you deserve it.
    Kick back and watch a movie.
    I will be thinking about you take care,Melinda

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