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Intent...
  1. #1
    nobby02 is offline Member
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    Default Intent...

    What is the intent of some people replying here? How is it the some get flamed and others don't. I just read a thread and I was incredulous at the seemingly naivety of one of most prolific posters. It was so obvious to me this poster was being strung along by this other poster. Just dare and cross someone here and you will be forever punished by rudeness which is a shame because there is good information here. It has all gone awry at power hungry posters. Yes yes yes all of those that I am talking about are going to come on here and deny deny deny....putting God Bless at the end of a post doesn't take away all the harsh words and accusations, really is that what these people think it does. Anyhoo talk amongst yourself because I have done enough self flagellaton without the maryters here doing anymore for me.

  2. #2
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by nobby02 View Post
    What is the intent of some people replying here? How is it the some get flamed and others don't. I just read a thread and I was incredulous at the seemingly naivety of one of most prolific posters. It was so obvious to me this poster was being strung along by this other poster. Just dare and cross someone here and you will be forever punished by rudeness which is a shame because there is good information here. It has all gone awry at power hungry posters. Yes yes yes all of those that I am talking about are going to come on here and deny deny deny....putting God Bless at the end of a post doesn't take away all the harsh words and accusations, really is that what these people think it does. Anyhoo talk amongst yourself because I have done enough self flagellaton without the maryters here doing anymore for me.
    Nobby,

    Since I responded to your post on your other thread, and you didn't like it - it's clear that your 'intent' in writing this post is to underhandedly and indirectly insult me. We are adults - a direct conversation would be preferable. Nevertheless, I am going to answer your questions very honestly.

    The intent of people replying is to help to bring another person closer to recovery.

    What you perceive as people getting "flamed" is, in truth, a person being confronted for one of several things: denial, dishonesty, closed-mindedness or unwillingness. The KEYS to getting clean and sober are contained in the acronym HOW: Honesty Openmindedness and Willingness.

    No one can achieve lasting recovery if they remain in denial of the extent of their addiction. Denial keeps us stuck in a place where we can not see what we are doing to ourselves. Denial keeps us lying to ourselves and others. Denial is a part of the complex mind-games of our disease. It's often difficult to break past that denial. Sometimes, it takes a direct, in-your-face approach, when gentler methods don't work. But breaking past a person's denial is essential.

    With that denial comes a lot of dishonesty. That's a basic part of addiction, as well. Oftentimes, we don't recognize that we're even lying. Lying keeps us from seeing what we're doing. We justify, rationalize and minimize our drug use. We blame others. We justify that a doctor gave us our drugs. We rationalize that we don't use as much as someone else. We compare ourselves to others, so we can feel better about what we're doing. This is another block to recovery, that must come down if we are to remain clean and sober.

    I do not "flame" anyone just for the sake of aggravating them. I confront with truth. I recognize addiction and when I see it, I address it directly. I don't mince words and candy-coat the truth. This is a LETHAL disease - so I'm not concerned with "popularity" here. I'm concerned with reaching the person in need.

    Power-hungry??? That's just plain ridiculous. What "power" is there on this forum? I take the time to write more than most, as I have more experience and education than most. I could care less about any status here; I care to help the next guy achieve recovery. If they are acting in ways that are blocking them from recovery, I tell them what I see.

    The other issue that I address head-on is when I see posts that are harmful to others. Harmful, as in offering ways to continue to use. Making suggestions that could potentially be very dangerous. When I see drug-seeking behavior, I confront it - before others come on board and do the same. This forum is not a place to fuel further drug use; it is a place for constructive advice only.

    Your anger and defensiveness are not unusual responses by a person being confronted about their own drug use. In fact, this is quite common. But I am not the villain here. I am the voice of truth and reason. I did not work my butt off for most of the past 20 years, attend 1000s of meetings and then go back to school to work in this field, so I could come on some random website in my free time and belittle anyone. I am fighting a powerful opponent - ADDICTION. Sometimes, it takes a powerful approach.

    It's sad if you can't see that. I think you're so busy feeling victimized and insulted that you ignoring the message. You don't want to hear my message to you. But posting indirect posts to attempt to undermine my efforts won't change your situation.

    When I say "God bless," it is not some underhanded way to "undo" my own words. I stand by what I say. I say "God bless" because I passionately believe in God and His ability to help us to find the truth. If it weren't for God's Grace, I would not be clean and sober today. I offer God's blessing because each of us needs His help to attain recovery.

    God bless,
    Ruth

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  3. #3
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by nobby02 View Post
    What is the intent of some people replying here? How is it the some get flamed and others don't. I just read a thread and I was incredulous at the seemingly naivety of one of most prolific posters. It was so obvious to me this poster was being strung along by this other poster. Just dare and cross someone here and you will be forever punished by rudeness which is a shame because there is good information here. It has all gone awry at power hungry posters. Yes yes yes all of those that I am talking about are going to come on here and deny deny deny....putting God Bless at the end of a post doesn't take away all the harsh words and accusations, really is that what these people think it does. Anyhoo talk amongst yourself because I have done enough self flagellaton without the maryters here doing anymore for me.
    nobby what the hell are you talking about? Where is any power on a forum? There are people here seeking help and others attempting to give that help. After spending over 30 years out there using everything known to mankind and over 21 years working in this field I don't think I am naive nor or any of the others on here with years of clean time, You obviousely got your feelings hurt somewhere.

    When first cleaning up my act I got my feelings hurt on a regular basis, but better hurt feelings than dead. The people that put God Bless at the end of their post are sincere in saying that and I have yet to see Ruth, as it seems you are referring to her offer anything but constructive, well founded suggestions based on her education and experiences.

    If you have a complaint be specific instead generally throwing insults at everyone on here Response would be appreciated Dog

  4. #4
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    Thank you, Dog. And I hope you know that I respect your posts and wisdom, as well!

    Nobby is not-so-subtly pointing her finger at me for this thread: http://www.drugs.com/forum/general/h...ugs-62020.html

    I said things she didn't want to hear - so this is the way she choose to indirectly 'attack the messenger.'

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  5. #5
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Ruth .... for what it's worth I saw that original post you referenced and I passed on it when I first saw it as I didn't wish to provide info on "scoring" from drs. Addicts are volatile and I can deal with that. But if they don't want an honest, truthful reply they should refrain from posting a question like that. You are more patient and tactful than me. That is why I chose not to reply originally.

    You see how often I get attacked for telling it like it is. I am also, just like you, doing this for my ego and fame that comes from trying to help some addicts get clean. That really puts ME on a power trip. LOL I know it does you as well.

    This is typical as to why I am choosing to attend a trade show today for my new business venture and leave the whining to the whiners here. People need to grow up and face their problems and stop blaming the people who are attempting to point them in the right direction.

    And yes, I also say God bless at the end of my posts, have for years. If not for Him I would have been dead years ago. Anyone who doesn't like it doesn't have to read my replies. It's like the TV set, change the channel if you don't like the show. God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  6. #6
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert_325 View Post
    Ruth .... for what it's worth I saw that original post you referenced and I passed on it when I first saw it as I didn't wish to provide info on "scoring" from drs. Addicts are volatile and I can deal with that. But if they don't want an honest, truthful reply they should refrain from posting a question like that. You are more patient and tactful than me. That is why I chose not to reply originally.

    You see how often I get attacked for telling it like it is. I am also, just like you, doing this for my ego and fame that comes from trying to help some addicts get clean. That really puts ME on a power trip. LOL I know it does you as well.

    This is typical as to why I am choosing to attend a trade show today for my new business venture and leave the whining to the whiners here. People need to grow up and face their problems and stop blaming the people who are attempting to point them in the right direction.

    And yes, I also say God bless at the end of my posts, have for years. If not for Him I would have been dead years ago. Anyone who doesn't like it doesn't have to read my replies. It's like the TV set, change the channel if you don't like the show. God bless.
    Robert... thank you for responding, and I do appreciate your empathy for the frustrations of this kind of work. Only those of us who are in the trenches - day in, day out - can really appreciate the challenges. If we didn't care so much, we'd never do it.

    I think you are very wise to take a big step backwards from this forum - how you've done it this long just boggles my mind! I've tried to step in to be more active here, but then posts like this come along... and I find myself questioning... "Why bother???" Very often, it's one step forward, two steps back.

    Oh yes - the power and glory of all of it ... that's why I'm here!! You do know there are golden trophies at the end of this rainbow, don't you? The paparazzi are camped outside my door at all hours of the day and night, just eager to bask in my fame and fortune. Forbes has been hounding me for an interview. Alas, it's a burden, being so popular... good grief! LOL

    YES, there are days at work when I want to pull my hair out and scream... "Grow the &*%& up!!!" ... but I don't. I just take a break, look at the world I've been blessed with, thanks to recovery... and jump back into "the trenches" again later.

    Enjoy the trade show, and best wishes with your new venture.

    Nobby... how's it going getting support for your viewpoint?

    GOD BLESS, (yup, I mean it)
    Ruth

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  7. #7
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Nobby, the truth shall set you free, but, it is going to piss you off first!
    lifewrthlivn and Bresixdouze like this.

  8. #8
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Thanks Ruth read the thread and I see what you mean, still didn't see any rudeness or anything mean just facts that appear not to want to be heard Dog

  9. #9
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfdog View Post
    Nobby, the truth shall set you free, but, it is going to piss you off first!
    LOL Dog... ain't dat da truth! I couldn't stand my counselor when I was in rehab, she was sooo tough on me, or so I thought! Now, if I were to see that woman again, I'd probably kiss her feet in gratitude. She understood me. She knew what I needed. And it took some heavy-handed confrontations to get through to me. My denial ran very, very deep.

    One "truth" I remember stinging especially hard was when she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are not a victim. You are a volunteer. You are responsible for where you life has led you. And you are responsible for where it goes from here." YIKES! I hated that... yet it proved to be one of the most useful confrontations I've ever had!!! (Look, it's 21 years later and I still remember it!)
    Bresixdouze and lifewrthlivn like this.

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  10. #10
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Ruth had some of those same moments, mine was a little old lady looked like a grandmother, walked up to me one day and said "you realize that you have been F#$%^# up on something for 3/4 of your life" for some reason that hit home and made me listen, actually I was at a loss for words lol That was 23 years ago now and I remember it like it was yesterday. I firmly believe God works through other people to get to us at times. Dog
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  11. #11
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by nobby02 View Post
    What is the intent of some people replying here? How is it the some get flamed and others don't. I just read a thread and I was incredulous at the seemingly naivety of one of most prolific posters. It was so obvious to me this poster was being strung along by this other poster. Just dare and cross someone here and you will be forever punished by rudeness which is a shame because there is good information here. It has all gone awry at power hungry posters. Yes yes yes all of those that I am talking about are going to come on here and deny deny deny....putting God Bless at the end of a post doesn't take away all the harsh words and accusations, really is that what these people think it does. Anyhoo talk amongst yourself because I have done enough self flagellaton without the maryters here doing anymore for me.
    So... let me get this straight... you come to this forum from time to time - for the past 18 months - all the while taking your hydros, your percs or your tylenol 3s, and ask for help. You have begun 25 different threads, asking for help. You have gone off and on these drugs, on and off the suboxone, and continue to use - and justify it as "legitimate" because an MD puts his seal of approval on it.

    You come here, to a forum that is offering constructive advice, and for the second time ask for advice of "HOW" to get your narcotics and what's best to ask for.

    In turn, I, having struggled for years with my own addictions, having gone inpatient for 6 months of rehab, having gone to (LITERALLY) 1000s of meetings over the years, having lived my life clean and sober for most of the past 20 years, having gone back to school to become a substance abuse counselor, worked an internship and now work in a long-term treatment center.... and I offer help, in the form of years of experience and education, with a lengthy post or two, responding to your pleas for help.

    You are clearly addicted to these meds, and I decided to be a straight-shooter about what I saw. You have a lethal disease, and if you don't do something about it, it's going to consume your life. So I didn't try to play nicey-nicey with the facts. I said it straight. I did not call you names. I did not belittle you. I spoke the truth.

    And what happens? You call me rude... you call me grumpy... you call me power hungry... you call me naive... you call me harsh... and you call me a martyr.

    AND - You NEVER respond to the lengthy, educated, intelligent posts I have given in response to your rude, crude, inflammatory posts to me.

    And I'm the one that's rude??????


    Probably, you have a new stash of pills that is keeping you occupied, from your latest doctor appointment. That's why you posted this round-about complaint - and haven't been back to defend your position. I presume you'll be back asking for help again, when the latest pill supply runs low.

    Oh ya, I went there...


    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

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