Am I defeating the purpose?

[clovelace37]

Let me put this another way and maybe someone will know about it. First of all I am an opiate addict and have been for 8 years. I was on 105mgs. of methadone for two yrs. I was taking about 10 1mg. xanax on top of that and as you may know that is a deadly combination. Many have died from using benzo's with methadone. Then I started using large amounts of crack on top of that. I am lucky to still be here, but there must be a reason. I think that reason is to help other addicts that are going through what I did. Anyway, I finally hit bottom and ended up in rehab for eight weeks. I was furious because they wouldn't give me my methadone. But they did give me Suboxone. I finally felt like my old self again. They weaned me off and I went home. The first thing I thought was i want to do a pill. Just one. Now we all know as I did that an addict can't have just one, so i was back at the drawing board. Back at the methadone clinic until they kicked me out for having so many benzo's in my system they said It was at death level. I went to another treatment center. They weaned me off methadone, but I knew I couldn't do it outside those walls. I had to have something just to get out of bed in the mornings. They sent me to a dr. who specializes in suboxone and I have been on it for 6 months now and it has totally changed my life. You don't get High, but you feel good, normal, you get your energy back and most of all you don't even think about a pill much less want one. I am still on my xanax, but I have taken so many for so long they are weaning me very slowly so I don't seizure. I have gained 40 pounds since I was on methadone. so I go to a weight loss Dr. amd get Phentermine. My Dr. told me it was OK to take as long as I had never been hooked on methamphtemines (crank) My question is can I take xanax and still get full results of phentermine? It seems like I take one thing to speed me up but then when I have to take the xanax I come back down. Am I just defeating the purpose?

[Robert_325]

Freaking drs are just continuing to give you one more pill to counteract what the other pills are doing. This is exactly what got most of us here. I was seeing seven different legitimate specialists at one time. Had a rheumatologist, ortho surgeon, Cardiologist, sleep specialist, Pulmonary specialist, Hemotologist and a pain management dr. Oh wait .. I forgot the psychiatrist too. What a joke. They were all giving me different meds, some were giving me the same meds as the other ones. Of course I took them all. Eventually there is NO WAY for the drs to know what your meds are going to do as they all interact with each other. Get off the roller coaster my friend. God bless.

[clovelace37]

You are exactly right. I think alot of Dr.'s hurt you more thhan thry help you. Thanks for the advice.

[Robert_325]

I think most drs have the very best of intentions and are honorable. I really do and don't want to sound like I'm against drs. They are only "practicing" medicine and don't know all the answers or even have them available anywhere sometimes. Most of them do a good job though with what information they have to work with on each patient. They certainly came through and saved me from death a few times regardless of me acting like a complete moron and making it almost impossible on them to save me.

The facts is however that there are too many flake drs as well. And if we are misfortunate enough to end up with someone who sounds good but doesn't know what they're doing they can seriously harm us. That especially applies to drs who prescribe controlled substances. This forum group of people is proof of the potential consequences of abuse or even dependency after following drs legitimate directions. People mess with some scarey RX meds. That's why it's so difficult to obtain lots of the meds we want when we're seeking medical attention. It's very serious. Those drs are SO majorly monitored by authorities if they RX schedule II opiates rather than just hydros, lortabs, etc. which are schedule III. Things like Roxies and Oxycontins draw a lot more scrutiny by feds. There are several RX meds that fall into that category. That's why the script drs will write lortab, soma and sometimes a benzo. Nothing there draws the heat that the Roxies, Oxycontins, some amphetamines, etc would draw with the crowds they run through in a month's time. So they keep it simple and just about all of us have found ourselves running to them at one time or another.

Medical care is a big catch 22. I do know that for most of us if we get clean and then determine our real medical conditions without any mind altering substances affecting our decisions we can make a better judgement of what if anything we really need with the dependency to all the garbage gone. Even if you need something later you'll know it's right if you're clean first and then see how you feel after you give it a while for you to get better. God bless.

[clovelace37]

I totally agree. I don't think Dr.s are educated enough when it comes to addiction. I think they should be more informed about what's going on here. This pill thing (especially opiates) is becoming an epidemic. I have lost four friends from overdoses of oxycontin and some to methadone. I am extremely lucky to still be here. I think back to how much I was using and mixing this with that and I feel so grateful to be alive. I am still on suboxone, but I don't abuse it, i don't get high with it. I just need a crutch until my brain gets stabalized from all the chemicals I ahve used. I know that right now if I stopped suboxone, I would relapse. My Dr. wants to keep me on for 1 year and I have already been on for 6 months. Then he will wean me very slowly. It will always be hard for me. I know I am an addict and there will come a time that i will be tested and it will take all my willpower and alot of support. Thanks for listening!!! Chanda

[purple one]

Dear Clovelace,

I too am an addict - a recovering alcoholic and addict for last 21 years. My drug of choice was pills yet, I drank to tone them down at times.

In reading your post, even though the drugs you are now taking are doctor prescribed, you are still exhibiting addict behavior. (take a pill for this; take a pill for that). There are many prescription drug addicts. Doctor's hardly get any training in treats us addicts. One of their jobs is to write scripts. Have you ever thought of going to 12-step meetings where everyone is there doing the same thing - trying to live live and it's problems drug free?

I wish you the best; just be careful as "once an addict, always an addict.

a friend