I started taking Lexapro about a year and a half ago. At the time it was a godsend!!! I had stuggled day after day with depprestion for almost 4 years unwilling to ask for help,ashamed I was broken in some way. All of my sisters have taken an anti-deppresants as long as I could remember, I think I saw it as a sign on weakness, to turn to drugs to cope,that is why I waited so long. I became deaply sad,and no longer enjoyed ANYTHING,before I was the amazing super mom who was creative,fit,amazing with all and any kids,kind,thoughtful,etc. Then I became pregnant with my fourth child and I noticed some thing was wrong....I didn't seek help until that baby was 3years old,I really feel like I lost those years. To this day,the only people who know I take meds. are my husband ,DR.,and I. With in weeks of taking lexapro I started to come out of this fog I had been in for years. I was painting again,reading books to my kids, going out with friends,a miricle right? Since then my husband lost his job a insurance and I have had to go weeks without meds beacouse of the CRAZY cost of meds once covered by insurance. I have sold funtiture to cover one month of pills, and had to ration them to every other day in hopes of avoiding the afful afful side effects I have had in the past. The longest I was off Lexapro was 3 weeks and my "zaps" foggy brain, sleepyness,NIGHTMARES, etc,etc,got worse each day,no let up at all.

I have decide to go to the state mental health office. What should I say? No more drugs please? I had always imagined I would only take them for a little while,and with weight gain,and loss of labido (syptoms I didn't know existed until this forum and relized I suffered from both)Should I ask for something different,cheeper,What???I am scared,I never want to be that person I was two years ago,What do I do??

As a side note,although Lexapro helped my deppresstion,it has yet to help my poor spelling so please forgive my errors!!!