[purpledog]

that is sooooo awesome blackrainbow and i love your screen name. way cool.
glad to read you are doing so well,
i too am alone, cept for this site so post as much as you need whenever you need.
wow you should be SO PROUD of yourself,

some silly kiwi down in new zealand is cheering for ya right now.

later
purpledog

[intelmetal]

Robert, I went back to the beginning of conversation and read everything posted so far. I see where I made a little mistake, thanks for bringing that to my attention. When I posted, I did think it through. Just kinda rambled without really paying close attention. Sorry to you both.
Blackrainbow, I still think you are doing a good job of communicating with Robert and following instructions. This worked for me as well. I will follow your progress daily. If you need any support in your recovery, you have found the right place. There are very kind and caring people on this forum.
Let me know if I can help. Best Wishes !
IWANTOUT

to live my life and to be free !

[Daisygirl2]

OMG! I am having this exact same thing happening to me now. I am in tears here, I don't know what to do. I called my Dr. and he says my incessant vomiting has nothing to do with my sub prescription?!?? I didn't start throwing up until one hour after I left his office..I can't even drink water and I'm throwing up.

I started on 8mg but I can't take this...any advice anyone?

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Daisygirl2

OMG! I am having this exact same thing happening to me now. I am in tears here, I don't know what to do. I called my Dr. and he says my incessant vomiting has nothing to do with my sub prescription?!?? I didn't start throwing up until one hour after I left his office..I can't even drink water and I'm throwing up.

I started on 8mg but I can't take this...any advice anyone?

Sounds exactly like precipitated w/d. You didn't take the subs correctly when you began. You need to stop the subs totally and wait until you're really ready to be inducted. I can do it for you easily and it will be symptom-free I promise. DON'T take anything else from this point forward.

Tell me about your using history so I'll have a better idea as to how to approach your induction if you choose to do this here. Let me know. God bless.

[Daisygirl2]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

Sounds exactly like precipitated w/d. You didn't take the subs correctly when you began. You need to stop the subs totally and wait until you're really ready to be inducted. I can do it for you easily and it will be symptom-free I promise. DON'T take anything else from this point forward.

Tell me about your using history so I'll have a better idea as to how to approach your induction if you choose to do this here. Let me know. God bless.

Hi Robert:

Thanks so much..I am really freaked out here. Well, hope your ready 'cuz here is the story!

I had on and off used hydro (mainly vicodin & norco) for years but this last bout, I have been using approx. 8 months doing Vicodin, Norco and Lortabs...anywhere from 40 mg a day until 60mg.

I recently decided I had to get off of them (about 4 weeks ago) and I quit cold turkey and suffered fairly severe w/d's...cold, sweats, shaking, dizziness, headache and great anxiety and lethargy. I couldn't handle it and as soon as I got some cash, I got my meds. Anyway, I still did want to quit and after researching, thought suboxone would by my best best.

I ended up on a site where you plug in your zip code and Dr.'s will email you (my PCP does this as well) so I waited and chose the cheapest cost cash Dr. until I could find out if my PCP could do this for me. Monday comes around, I call my PCP and to make a long story short, they won't or couldn't write me a referral to the "new" Dr. even though my insurance says they can so I call the Dr. New and make an appointment for yesterday, 8.07.09

I did my last pill on Thursday at about 4:00 p.m. (with a total of about 5 7.5 mg. vicodins for the day) and go to my appointment yesterday and the Dr. induces me there at about 11:30 a.m. with one 8mg suboxone. I feel ok (kinda weird) and left to go back to work. I grabbed a bite to eat (a burger) ate it and after about a half hour at work, I get violently ill (vomiting) along with the sweats. I thought I'd wait & see if it went away, but it didn't and I told my boss I'd have to leave (I was throwing up, sweaty and dizzy).

I get home (thank goodness I live close) and just lay down. I cannot stop throwing up all night long and this morning, I woke up with a headache. I ended up cutting an 8mg in half last night and doing 4mg at about 1:00 a.m. and doing the other half this morning at about 8:00 a.m. (dunno how much of that I got since I am throwing up ANYTIME I even drink a swallow).

I call my Dr. "New" and he tells me this has nothing to do with the suboxone treatment?!? I was honestly surprised since he was rather short and terse with me even though he told me to call...anyway, I haven't had anything else since this morning, just been sleeping a lot.

[Robert_325]

I'll repeat myself you went into precipitated w/d from the way you were inducted. You should stop all suboxone immediately. I don't understand why you would continue taking it when you're throwing up afterwards? I don't want to get involved in over-dosing you to pull you out of precip w/d. It's too easy to stop and then do this right. It's your call ... let me know if you want my help. God bless.

[Daisygirl2]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

I'll repeat myself you went into precipitated w/d from the way you were inducted. You should stop all suboxone immediately. I don't understand why you would continue taking it when you're throwing up afterwards? I don't want to get involved in over-dosing you to pull you out of precip w/d. It's too easy to stop and then do this right. It's your call ... let me know if you want my help. God bless.

Sorry Robert, I guess I wasn't making sense. Yes I stopped early this morning. I didn't stop earlier because it was listed as a side effect and I didn't want to quit taking it until I heard from the Dr. When I heard what he had to say, i went searching the web and found this thread.

Edit: Yes I want help,,i'm desperate

[Robert_325]

Good! I misunderstood. Let me know later today how you're feeling. I'll check on you this evening early. You've got to give this long enough in detox before induction. Plus you only start with taking very small doses. Talk later today. God bless.

[Daisygirl2]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

Good! I misunderstood. Let me know later today how you're feeling. I'll check on you this evening early. You've got to give this long enough in detox before induction. Plus you only start with taking very small doses. Talk later today. God bless.

THANK YOU!! I feel ok now except for the constant throwing up...I can't even keep down water but this last round, it seemed as if I could almost hold off. (getting better) pupil check: they are normal to small.
I'll get back on later tonight and post, thanks again!

[Robert_325]

Proud of you for sticking this out like you have. You've shown a great attitude and you are getting your life back. You're past the worst of this now or right at it. Each day should start getting better and better for you. Keep us posted. God bless.

[blackrainbow]

For some reason my reviews and replies only show when I am about to post again :O. LOL. weird. Anyways thought I would update again. I am going strong and feeling eh well ********py but good. I keep getting pains and annoying symptoms of withdrawal. My biggest complaint as of right now is the sweaty palms and I have been sweaty alot. I know it sounds gross or whatever "I wear deodorant twice a day" but still I am left wondering normal or not? I have taken a few aspirin and ibuprofen, which is better at this point and what would help with pain and relieving tension. I also noticed everything has been irritating too sigh* seems that I have been aggro like... "I luv that word aggro hehe" and have just been moody! feel bad for everyone that has to deal with me.

*To those who have replied thanks... special regards to Rob! really thank you my friend. Purple Dog gets kudos for your support! I know its not much and I have no way to show what it means but it helps keep me going. Cannot forget Intel you rock too <3! *

NOTE* For anyone that is experiencing what I was or am currently. Follow ROB... He really seems to know what he is talking about....

I kinda felt like a black rainbow + couldn't think of a better sn at the time. Oh well maybe one day it will be notsoblackrainbow . J/K

[purpledog]

how you feeling blackrainbow, just wondering, theres a lot of info on this thread, but just checking out how you feeling.
all good i hope, are you thru the other side yet mate. hope so.
purpledog

keep it going in the right direction, good on ya.

[blackrainbow]

Daisy: by no means am I giving advice cause I am not in a place myself.
* I personally felt sick just days ago and the subs were responsible. I was on basic pain meds and really was misdiagnosed by my doc! He prescribed me a much larger dosing than I needed. Even though I was completely honest about my usage he didn't know I guess... The next day I was feeling bad but if in fact I was using too much suboxone I would have not felt better. I think like everyone I thought suboxone was my answer I was looking for. Someone actually inadvertently mentioned suboxone to me not knowing I had a prob with pain meds haha funny how that works. Ask around someone here can help...or tell a doctor that has experience with this. Not someone who wants to ask for excessive money. People should beware of sub scams! I knew of this before starting treatment. I used a referral program and the most costly doctor tried to get me in at $4,000 in total for the first year "Not including subs" My first thought was how the hell can I afford to get clean?.... I knew there had to be a cheaper doctor or at least someone to except my insurance. I know there is alot that except medicaid and medicare but I had neither. My last call "my current doc" only wanted $50 every 2 months not including subs. That's where the real money sucker comes by the way. SOME* don't know, but you can buy the subs individually by quantity. I personally could not afford the full script anyways. "Was like a month supply" So I purchased 6*. Cost me quite a bit more than my percocets. Those were covered by my insurance with a copay. So my theory was buy $400 dollars worth of subs, on a chance? That's too much to pay for something I wasn't sure of and had never taken before. Lets say it worked out for the best . Could have been worse though.....being stuck with a whole bottle of prescription overly priced subs...Good Luck* to you! May you be successful in this. Know your not alone. Feels like it but there are real people here, I am one. Feel free to post and message me if you just need someone to talk to. I am going through this but somehow I know it will be OK...

[blackrainbow]

I posted purple just look at the post before yours

[Daisygirl2]

Hi: I'm still feeling ok this morning. I got to hold some liquid down last night, have a slight headache this morning but so far so good. (I did throw up again this morning...think I got up too fast)

I haven't taken anything at all since yesterday morning around 8:00 am est.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Daisygirl2

Hi: I'm still feeling ok this morning. I got to hold some liquid down last night, have a slight headache this morning but so far so good. (I did throw up again this morning...think I got up too fast)

I haven't taken anything at all since yesterday morning around 8:00 am est.

We'll know by this afternoon if you need to be inducted again or if subs are the right choice for you. Let me know how you feel now. God bless.

[Daisygirl2]

Originally Posted by blackrainbow

Daisy: by no means am I giving advice cause I am not in a place myself.
* I personally felt sick just days ago and the subs were responsible.

Good Luck* to you! May you be successful in this. Know your not alone. Feels like it but there are real people here, I am one. Feel free to post and message me if you just need someone to talk to. I am going through this but somehow I know it will be OK...

Thank you blackrainbow! It is amazing, it's 1:00 p.m. now and I feel almost human! I can keep things down, I cleaned, I have energy...!! So thankful I found this site because other recommendations were to take MORE sub...I am very leery of it now! I don't have any w/d reactions either, which makes me think I still have sub in my system and I got waaay too much on Friday. This is what I imagine I should feel like when inducted properly!

[Daisygirl2]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

We'll know by this afternoon if you need to be inducted again or if subs are the right choice for you. Let me know how you feel now. God bless.

Thanks Robert! You've been a godsend! See my message to blackrainbow..I feel GREAT! The only things I have left going on are some slight dizziness I felt in the shower and some slight nausea, but I can keep both food and drink down now.

[blackrainbow]

Daisy: That's great to hear! Shortly you will be through the worse if you stick to a plan. I still am getting annoying symptoms but I am only almost a week without subs or pain killers. I just figure it's all gotta come out. How long were you on the meds in total? Keep going be strong ~ You have lots of support... Funny though you got mass energy from withdrawal haha I noticed that I am not soooo tired everyday. Still haven't managed to get up and do a full cleaning. I just do the minimal to keep my place up to standard, like laundry and the dishes...

[Daisygirl2]

Originally Posted by blackrainbow

Daisy: That's great to hear! Shortly you will be through the worse if you stick to a plan. I still am getting annoying symptoms but I am only almost a week without subs or pain killers. I just figure it's all gotta come out. How long were you on the meds in total? Keep going be strong ~ You have lots of support... Funny though you got mass energy from withdrawal haha I noticed that I am not soooo tired everyday. Still haven't managed to get up and do a full cleaning. I just do the minimal to keep my place up to standard, like laundry and the dishes...

Thanks BR! I tell you, I haven't even THOUGHT about a pill (of ANY kind) today...that experience with the sub has made my mind revolt at the thought of taking anything which is a good thing! I'm glad you are getting through this hell too...and I agree with you, just gotta get it out! I was taking about 40-60 mg of hydro's for about 8 months...which is why, after reading some of Robert's and others replies, I think I got way too much sub (8 mg). If I keep going like this, I don't think I'll need anything! (I tried quitting the opiates about a month ago and had horrible lethargy, runny nose, chills, sweats..etc...) but I haven't taken any sub since yesterday at 8 am (4 mgs) and I haven't had anything else since. I"m just going to wait and see what Robert says, he's been a lifesaver!

We'll get through this BR!! anytime you want to talk as well, feel free to pm or whatever~

[Robert_325]

blackrainbow ... another couple days and you're past the worst of all the w/d symptoms. The best thing for you now is moderate exercise like good walks around the neighborhood or whatever your physical condition permits.

You obviously don't need the subs. You've already got a few days in this ... it won't be long and your detox is done. Glad we could help you do this right.

It upsets me to see people like you get a bunch of suboxone slammed down your throat when you probably didn't even need it. Stay in touch. God bless.

[blackrainbow]

Hello,

It's about 11:30pm my time currently...Having some difficulty sleeping, haven't taken a sleep med yet...I really try and see if I can go to sleep on my own. Probably not gonna happen so I thought I would share a interesting post with everyone it relates to suboxone so I thought this thread is a perfect place to ad my exp


SOME OF YOU, may have went through similar maybe not... When I first got my suboxone script from the doc, I felt excited at the thought of an end to my pain killer addiction. Upon getting my script and going to fill it I encountered uncomfortable situations "This was before I took a sub and got sick". I posted this on another site but deleted it shortly after because I became ill. Felt it was pointless. Now that I am moving on I thought hey why not post. Went like this...

I first stopped at a Walgreen's Pharmacy on the way home from meeting with the doc. I asked the clerk how much this would run and I wasn't sure about anything... She said $460 dollars. I was like say what? I thought how the hell am I gonna afford this. She looked at me and said "What?" "Your fix gonna cost too much money". I was pretty upset and embarrassed by this lil confrontation. I left feeling pretty bad actually. I then called around and got prices. My second place was walmart pharmacy where I was allowed to fill my script by quantity. The clerk was nicer and gave me no attitude was nice and enjoyable. Explained things to me very professionally. "Didn't seem like she knew about suboxone" I placed the order and went to pick up. New clerk appeared and told me my total and asked had I ever used this drug before. I said no not thinking about it. She pulls my meds out and the pamphlet and says lets go talk to the pharmacist meaning she was not one herself. She looked at the bottle and said "Oh" in a very low tone "Oh I see".........Kinda response. I said What? she quickly said nothing then thought and proceeded to say to me "Well addiction is a medical problem" "Like overweight people need their medication" She also looks me up and down looking for marks or any sort of reason. EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE! Then she pawned me off on the actual licensed pharmacist. She asked had I ever taken blah blah blah... I said no and I said look I get sick when I don't take my meds and I don't have a severe case and I am wondering how much dosing I should take honestly. She moved in and looked at me seriously and said in a quiet tone I would take half see how you feel first. 8mg is a high dose. I said thank you. She said good luck to me. But, still.... The whole process of getting this medication was difficult and the people did not make it easier. I am over it but I just thought others should know in case you come across the situation. When I was done picking em up I really thought am I going to have to go through this everytime I have to feel another script? They just don't understand....Maybe these peeps should have went a little bit easier on me and made my day go smoother... Oh well.


I am coming up on my one week! I am happy about it... I will be really excited when I come up on my 2 weeks... That will be my official personal record. I have not been without longer than that in roughly 1 in half/2 years!
Feels good. I think I am through the worst now it gets better. Still getting accustomed to this feeling of what is the norm and how my body is responding. I really want to be like I was before.........Goodnite everyone gonna try and get some zZzZz now. Best Wishes*

[purpledog]

mate, i know how you feel, but to put it in perspective, i have to take my subs IN FRONT OF THE PHARMACIST 5 days a week. imagine how farrrkin humiliating that is. i handle it, but the "hired help" little beee atches look at me when i walk in, mid morning, and ignore me as if "oh she's one of those druggies, not our job" so i actually tell them, can you tell @#$%$% i am here please. little skanks.
ewww
so thats what i have to do every firkin day pal. cept the weekends, it was saturdays too for the first 3.
ahhhhhhhh needed to get that off my chest, thanks blackrainbow.
hope you doin ok anyways tho
always check up on how ya doin.
later
purp

[blackrainbow]

purpledog

Wow, That really sucks and I thought I was ridiculed. Kudos to you purple for putting up with that sh**! Yeah they make things a million times harder. Couldn't imagine having to take one in front of someone as they watch me, judge me.... I give you a thumbs up* Is that how it is where your from? Interesting I thought you were a bro, but here I find your a girl like me heh thought that's too funny. Those people suck wait till they got a prob though* I kinda believe in what goes around comes around.

[blackrainbow]

.........Thought I would post today's lil update, I was browsing the forum found all kinds of interesting topics. This site is really great. I always wasn't sure of blogging and posting etc... I don't mind here though. I am wondering if I should start my own thread? Where I can post daily and keep up myself/progress etc... I don't know I am new here but have a feeling I am gonna be here for quite sometime. It's just this thread is what I had originally found and started posting when I was cornered and lost about suboxone. Now I just update here..........? any advice.


All day today I didn't do much but did however come across a challenge, My significant other happens to be a addict as well but doesn't admit it, sucks really I know what is up. I am in the same boat but at least trying to change my life. I liked reading alot of posts in the forum lots of familiar stuff. Today my other filled a fill script of oxys and percs. I live with this person and it doesn't go well with my probs. He snorts em all the time doesn't care, has no regard for himself or my fam. How do you deal with an addict when you are a pill popper yourself? He was initially responsible for the accident that caused me to start pain killers. Changed my life... This person has lied to me "constantly", stolen from me, treated me like dog doo doo. Still does.... I wanna just send his a** to rehab but I don't know what to do really. Hes on alot harder stuff than I was. I thought my withdrawals were nightmarish. Couldn't imagine what its going to be like for him. I have seen some of it he ends up going to the ER and well they just give him more drugs! Even though they clearly see he has a problem. At least I can say there are pills in my home. Somehow I am staying away. I had a dr's appt today and my doc asked if I needed a refill of my meds. I stood up proudly and said No I will not be needing that. There's alot against me right now... I really am trying to just ignore everything. Anything that would make me go back to taking my percs. It's hard when it seems everything is against me . The sad part is I may have been physically addicted but mentally I used them too. That's how I knew I had a problem and seeked help. Seems like when something went wrong in my life there was always a pill waiting and psychologically it made everything bearable. I think my real challenge is myself....I have nothing to lose. I guess I have alot inside and I am finally able to get it out and vent. There's so much to tell without being too conspicuous... I am still here... still going... I can't believe it but I am doing it... Pretty sure tomorrow is my one week. Hard to keep track feels like the days are endless when your going through something. My symptoms: Sleeplessness, Sweats in my palms and under arms, Pains, kinda moody but trying to keep that in check. Holding up well. Oh yeah another nasty effect of being without I noticed acne!?! what the heck... When I had been on pain killers for a long time my skin was always dry now my face is oily and I'm washing it twice a day with facial cleanser. I will be back..........

[Robert_325]

blackrainbow ..... I am not going to take the time to address each of your issues mentioned in your post. The thing I feel compelled to address that you've GOT to understand is you've got a HUGE decision to make. Very seldom does a drug-induced relationship survive.

One of a few things happen 100% of the time in relationships where one of the partners is active in recovery while the other is active in addiction. 1.) You can't handle being around the drugs so you relapse. 2.) Your partner gets clean and you guys move forward together. 3.) You realize that your recovery comes first right behind God and you tell your partner to clean up or get out. They don't or won't get clean and the relationship dissolves.

I've sponsored lots of people in recovery and I know that I'm right. You can't and won't survive clean longterm living with an active addict. The choice is yours. I will keep you guys in my prayers. God bless.

[blackrainbow]

Thanks Rob, I wasn't assuming or expecting you to respond to me. I will probably start my own thread and just talk. I don't know maybe I can help someone or give someone a good read...Will I relapse maybe but I haven't yet. You helped me already and you keep doing that for others. Just because I live with someone going through that doesn't mean I don't stand a chance. I feel anyone has that power. I am new so don't go to hard on me . Let's say things end up that way maybe it will be that I will have to make some other decisions in my life. I just was really proud that today I had the plain opportunity to get my full months supply of percs and I told the doctor simply no thanks. Thanks for support. Goodnite Everyone*


- blackrainbow

[Robert_325]

I by no means want to be a doomsayer. I am just sharing what will give YOU the best chance for success.

I will stay out of this and let you share what you decide to share. But when I see posts about a person who is struggling in recovery with a partner using heavily in your prescence I am compelled to comment. It doesn't work when that happens, it's just reality. I simply shared what the numbers say. Of course I hope the best for you guys. God bless.

[iloerose]

BlackRainbow: First let me say that I'm so proud of you for getting through the w/d's on your own and with access to your DOC. It's a great day when we can turn down a script from the doc! The symptoms wear off in time, takes a bit for the body to readjust. Like Robert says, excercise helps.

You said:
Today my other filled a fill script of oxys and percs. I live with this person and it doesn't go well with my probs. He snorts em all the time doesn't care, has no regard for himself or my fam. How do you deal with an addict when you are a pill popper yourself? He was initially responsible for the accident that caused me to start pain killers. Changed my life... This person has lied to me "constantly", stolen from me, treated me like dog doo doo. Still does....

First, I don't thing Robert was trying to rain on your parade when he talked about relapse, spec. with pills around. Relapse stats are high. He's just worried because of the access in your house. I admire that you are doing well with that. But like you say it's a struggle everyday not to use.

Second, Think about what you said in your post. You can't change an addict unless they want to change. They have to want it.

Keep in mind that Recovery is a process not an event. It's relatively easy to get clean, compared to staying clean. I'm not trying to rain on your parade either w/d is no joke, but I'm 13 days off 10-12 vics per day for almost 8 years, and looking over my shoulder.

Peace

IloeRose

[blackrainbow]

Hi everyone,


Just read the post, and trust me I know. I really do.. all of it concerns me. It's hard when I am with someone and not only are we together but were married so it's just extremely complicated. I have 5 years invested. Not to mention other ties. If in fact it comes down to it I will choose my life over that drama. I am feeling alot better so good I managed to run wasn't for long but I did it. I am past the real horrible stuff now. I got some things going on but I think it's just me growing accustomed to myself. I can't explain or express how damn good I feel. I don't want one. Yes the threat is there but at this point he is popping them not me. I guess I'm kinda ignoring it... Like they say it does get easier you just have to want it really bad. I start school for skin care come Mon so I am gonna be keeping busy. Still going ~ I send my best Blackrainbow.