[Tiff24]

Hi, first I just wanted to say that I've been reading a lot of the forum posts the last couple of hours. I wanted to thank everyone for sharing their struggles. It really helps to know I'm not alone in this.

So here's my "story:" I've been taking Vicodin on and off for over a year. I have severe chronic pain in my uterus that is very debilitating. My Dr. has me on a pain contract for life. I was taking 6, 5mg Vicodin a day. I have three small children and I feel that the Vicodin affects who I am-not necessarily in a bad way but it doesn't feel like me. A couple of months ago, I started feeling like I couldn't live without the medicine. Thankfully, I have a VERY supportive husband who I was able to talk to and I started tapering down. Well, tapering DOES NOT WORK. It just feels like prolonging the withdrawl. I stopped cold turkey just over 49 hours ago and I feel AWFUL. I just would really like to talk to someone. To know that this will end. I ache everywhere, and I cannot sleep. The pain follows me into my dreams. I just spent Easter on our couch. My daughter's birthday is in 10 days and I'm hoping that I'll feel somewhat better by then. The only thing that has helped is really hot baths and bengay for the aches. My husband keeps telling me that I'm really strong for doing this but I don't feel strong. Anyway, thanks for listening and I would really appreciate any advice or encouragement.

[klopper22]

Originally Posted by Tiff24

Hi, first I just wanted to say that I've been reading a lot of the forum posts the last couple of hours. I wanted to thank everyone for sharing their struggles. It really helps to know I'm not alone in this.

So here's my "story:" I've been taking Vicodin on and off for over a year. I have severe chronic pain in my uterus that is very debilitating. My Dr. has me on a pain contract for life. I was taking 6, 5mg Vicodin a day. I have three small children and I feel that the Vicodin affects who I am-not necessarily in a bad way but it doesn't feel like me. A couple of months ago, I started feeling like I couldn't live without the medicine. Thankfully, I have a VERY supportive husband who I was able to talk to and I started tapering down. Well, tapering DOES NOT WORK. It just feels like prolonging the withdrawl. I stopped cold turkey just over 49 hours ago and I feel AWFUL. I just would really like to talk to someone. To know that this will end. I ache everywhere, and I cannot sleep. The pain follows me into my dreams. I just spent Easter on our couch. My daughter's birthday is in 10 days and I'm hoping that I'll feel somewhat better by then. The only thing that has helped is really hot baths and bengay for the aches. My husband keeps telling me that I'm really strong for doing this but I don't feel strong. Anyway, thanks for listening and I would really appreciate any advice or encouragement.

First, I just wanted to say that your husband is right; you ARE strong for choosing to get off the meds for the right reasons. I have gone through oxycontin withdrawal and have also gone thru some antidepressant withdrawals. I know what it takes to get thru any span of time without taking a pill...determination, hope, love for your family, strong character, etc. so yea, you are strong and you are lucky to have a supportive spouse to help you thru this.

I took oxy for chronic back pain but chose to get off it because it made me feel like you felt - "not like me". I chose the cold turkey route and was off work for a week dealing with the w/d. I lived on the couch that week and luckily I had some anti anxiety meds to help with relaxation and sleep. It was still extremely difficult but I made it. I also have a supportive spouse. Because I still have severe pain at times, I still take a pain med as needed but it doesnt affect my life like oxy did. Since you have chronic pain, tramadol may be a viable option for you. It is a synthetic opiate and is not supposed to have the same type of addicting effects as genuine opiates and it may greatly help the vicodin w/d.

I have read on here that Imodium (the diarea medicine) is good for opiate withdrawal because it is an opiate. Although it doesnt make a person high, it is still said to help. It couldnt hurt to incorporate doses of that into your day periodically.

Keep posting your questions here. There are people who care and will do their best to help you. There is also a website called soberrecovery that is very good.

Good luck.

[mpvt]

Hi Tiff24:
You have a few things on your side. You have only been taking the vicodin for about a year. It doesn't sound like you are abusing them as 30mgs a day is a very small amount. That being said you surely will have withdrawls as you are experiencing now. 4 to 5 days of withdrawls and you will really start to feel better. Hang in there and due a search for ''The Thomas Recipe'' and try and follow that as closely as you can. Good luck and hang in there. You will be feeling 100% better by your daughters birthday......Dave

[Robert_325]

I agree with Dave and here is a link for the Thomas Recipe. Good luck. God bless.

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/...show/16?cid=66

[Tiff24]

Thank you so much for the advice and support. Thank you klopper22 especially as your message last night(my time) helped me stay strong through a very sleepless night. I'm so glad that I found this website.I've hit the 61 hour mark and I feel like I'm dying. This is definitely the worst so far. I looked up the Thomas recipe and I will try to get the vitamins I need. If I didn't know there was a light at the end of the tunnel, I don't think I could do this. My family and God are the only reasons that I AM able to do this. I can barely move and I"m so exhausted. I also got up this morning feeling really nauseous. Is that normal? I just want to get my life back. Thank you again to all of you who are taking the time to talk to me about this!

[Robert_325]

Hang in there a little longer. You won't have much further to go and you'll start feeling better if you don't use. The Thomas Recipe will help you too.

Don't feel badly ... most of us couldn't do this if it wasn't for something really important. That's why we all ended up here. Do just like you're doing and take it an hour at a time if you have to. You can stand on your head for an hour. God bless.

[klopper22]

If you can imagine walking up a mountain...you are probably a little more than half way up...too far to stop or go back down. You are exhausted, but I am sure you have enough to take you right over the top in determination, willpower, your family's and God's help. It is when we are weakest that God carries us through with all His means. He will never leave or forsake you.

You are in our prayers. You will make it.

[Tiff24]

It has actually brought tears to my eyes reading your kind comments. I felt very alone in this and knowing that others care and especially are praying means the world to me.

I have tried most of the steps of the Thomas Recipe today and it actually has helped a little. I've actually been able to spend a couple of hours with my kids even though I still feel horrible. I laughed for the first time in 3 days. I am almost through day three and hopefully day 4 will go very quickly. I don't feel any craving for the Vicodin(although if I had it near I would probably want to take it!), just physically awful and a little anxious. I have a prescription for Ativan but I would prefer to not take it. I don't ever want to take any prescription again after having to go through this. It's not worth it.

Does anyone know how long the nausea and diarrhea usually lasts? I haven't been able to eat at all. Thanks!

[melinda7.5]

Hi Tiff
I was feeling better after day 4 ...I could eat and I even started to exercise again...your doing great so hang in there and be very proud of yourself...
Talk to you later, Melinda

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Tiff24

It has actually brought tears to my eyes reading your kind comments. I felt very alone in this and knowing that others care and especially are praying means the world to me.

I have tried most of the steps of the Thomas Recipe today and it actually has helped a little. I've actually been able to spend a couple of hours with my kids even though I still feel horrible. I laughed for the first time in 3 days. I am almost through day three and hopefully day 4 will go very quickly. I don't feel any craving for the Vicodin(although if I had it near I would probably want to take it!), just physically awful and a little anxious. I have a prescription for Ativan but I would prefer to not take it. I don't ever want to take any prescription again after having to go through this. It's not worth it.

Does anyone know how long the nausea and diarrhea usually lasts? I haven't been able to eat at all. Thanks!

Don't suffer with diarrhea. If you need it take more Immodium AD. It won't hurt you and will help your stomach. It has an opiate base but doesn't hurt your recovery. Take it as needed. You are also dehydrated from the diarrhea too. You should drink some gatorade ... it's full of electrolytes. It will make you feel better. Take care of yourself, don't let this make you sick if there is something like immodium that will fix it. You should be getting better after tomorrow anyway maybe sooner Taking an ativan for sleep if you need it wouldn't be the end of world just for tonight. Cut yourself a little bit of slack. God bless.

[Tiff24]

Well I've made it through day three and into day the beginning of day four. I actually feel marginally better-a very very little margin-but at least it's something. My husband has been pumping me full of vitamins and letting me vent all my emotions which actually helps. I can't imagine having to go through this alone. I feel like maybe I can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm going to pick up some immodium and gatorade tomorrow, hopefully that will help as well. Thank you again and I am praying for all of you! I will keep writing as I go.
Tiffany

[JnA]

Originally Posted by Tiff24

Well I've made it through day three and into day the beginning of day four. I actually feel marginally better-a very very little margin-but at least it's something. My husband has been pumping me full of vitamins and letting me vent all my emotions which actually helps. I can't imagine having to go through this alone. I feel like maybe I can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm going to pick up some immodium and gatorade tomorrow, hopefully that will help as well. Thank you again and I am praying for all of you! I will keep writing as I go.
Tiffany

Wow, you are so amanzing! I will be starting my "getting clean" soon, I'm so scared to start it though, dont' know how I will do it, I can't even go a day cold turkey. It's almost over for you though so hang in there and don't let go!!! You're doing great!!

[Tiff24]

Hey, I know it seems scary and I was terrified but if you just take it one day at a time it is VERY possible. The Thomas Recipe that Robert recommended REALLY helps a lot too. I'm already 2/3 of the way through day four and after day three it gets a little easier every hour. Hopefully you have a support system(my husband has been beyond amazing), but if not this community is incredibly supportive and understanding. They have made this difficult time easier for me. It's hard to admit that you have an addiction and to take the steps to do something about it, but it is worth it. I am still going to be taking it one step at a time for a long time I'm sure; but I KNOW that I can do it and I think you can too. I will be praying for you JnA! Thank you for your kind words to me.

[Tiff24]

Hi all,
It's been two days since I have written but I have great news. I'm still off the medicine and almost done with the week-long hell of detox. I haven't written because I've actually started LIVING again! I still feel really rough but after the first four days it has gotten steadily better. I think I will feel almost normal again by my daughter's birthday!(In 6 days) My only bad news is that it turns out my chronic pain may actually be fibromyalgia. If so, I'm going to try alternative treatments instead of going back on meds. I know I've said thank you a million times already, but being able to talk to others has made all the difference for me. Keep me in your prayers and I will keep all of you in mine! I will come back to talk when I can as I know this is a continuous process. If anyone has any questions or needs special encouragement or prayer just let me know!

[melinda7.5]

Hi Tiff
I'm glad your feeling better...
I wanted to tell you I have fibro also...I have been clean now since August so it can be done...I wont tell you don't have any pain but i do some running and exercise and I don't eat flour or sugar...and it seems to help...
I just wanted you to know there are more people out there just like you.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Melinda

[tired2]

Hi Tiff,
I'm so glad you are doing better and that you have a lot of support . I will say a pray for you . Just in case you get nausea's I always take Dramamine it helps.

I also have Fibro which is when the worst of my problems started . I was on some hard core pain meds went to detox then put back on Vic 7.5 and Klonopin . Now I'm trying to get of the 16mg of Suboxone which the doctor gave me to get off the Vic's .I have only taken for little over a month. I never knew that this drug was so hard to get off. Next the Klonopin goes. I just want to feel normal again .Robert is tapering me he has been a total God send .

My husband has been great thru all this . He told me that when I excerise I seem to be in less pain . I realized he was right so I would try exercise for sure.

My biggest fear is the fibro pain and needing a pain pill.....I never want to take another pill again. I can use a prayer right now .

Take Care and God Bless

[Tiff24]

Thank you melinda and tired2 for sharing you experiences with me. My sister-in-law also has fibro and I'm pretty scared because I have almost every single symptom and I know it means that this will probably be a long battle. I'm going to my doctor next week, so I will know for sure soon. I have been dealing with this for almost a year and a half and it's been incredibly frustrating because I've had a million tests(and even surgery) without knowing for sure what's going on. My husband has been saying he thinks that it's fibro for over a year and honestly I was really hoping it was something that could be fixed easily. No luck! I am going to start exercising again as soon as I finish completely detoxing and I will look into the no flour/sugar thing. If it will help me feel better I'll happily do it.

tired2, I will keep you in my prayers. I wasn't ever on Suboxone but I was on Vicodin, Soma, and Ativan. I only had a problem getting off the Vicodin but it was incredibly hard. If you(or anyone else really struggling) ever needs anyone to talk to I almost never sleep(thanks to 3 kids, pain, and insomnia)! You can write a message on here or I can give you my email if you want it. Talking to people who understand what I'm going through has been probably the biggest help to me. It's also really great that you have a supportive husband.

I have to go fix a bath emergency but I will check back soon.
Tiffany

[nulife4us]

I am so proud of you and inspired! You can do this, I can tell you really want to. I am on day 3 of w/d from oxycodone. I have become progressively addicted over a 15 year period. I was taking anywhere from 2.5 - 5/day 5mg. We are all in the fight for our lives, we know what's on the other side of this battle. I'm suffering the typical symptoms of insomnia, anxiety, lose bowels, loss of appetite, irritability and feeling totally lethargic. It takes my all just to get off the couch.........we all know that feeling. I'm trying hard to push myself through each day, just to get up and do the little daily things. I have completely lost my appetite, lost losts of weight lately. I have to force/remind myself to drink fluids and to eat. I seem to crave sweets which probably increase my anxiety since I am not eating much except candy. I tried for a whole year to convince myself I could do this if I just cut down on my daily dosage...........that never worked. I knew I was going to have to do this cold turkey. Access to get more is so easy, but I feel strong enough to not even attempt to seek them out today, but don't know how I might feel tomorrow. I just know that I don't want to go back to living a life of lies and deceit, nor do I want to slowly kill myself by taking pills that I don't need. I feel quilty admitting that I'm not addicted because of any pain due to disease or trauma....it's always been just for fun. While life isn't fun anymore, how stupid I've been. What I want is to be free, I want to enjoy life again, I want my old life back and I'm ready to fight to get my life back. I've read from many of you that the w/d symptoms get easier after about 4-5 days, I'm on day 3 and haven't moved off the couch since I woke up 4 hours ago, but I'm not going to be too hard on myself. I will PUSH to shower, walk the dog, and try to attend bible study tonight with a good friend who I have confided my problem to, she's been extremely supportive and I know how important it is to have someone who understands what we're going through. I'd appreciate any support from you and others. Stay strong, you've inspired someone, ME!

God Bless You and everyone else seeking to change their life!

[tired2]

Hi Tiff,

I went to reply last night but my computor went down just as I was ready to send really sucks. I hope your feeling better ...I think it is great that you are doing all this it is not easy by no means.

I'm feeling so much better the last two days . Tonight I tapering down...wish me luck . I hate the w/d side of all this, here I went to a doctor to get off my vic's 7.5 then I end up on two new drugs Subutex first 2 days then Suboxone.

I'm trying to get an early appointment and take my husband to get him to change it to the subutex since suboxone makes me sick .

I have had fibro for 13 yrs. I only had two doctors that would even admit that it is a disease .The others just roll thier eyes . My old primary still ask how my fibro is when I run into her .I had to stop seeing her due to ins. I had a Rhumatolgist who also said it was fibro except he had bad bed side manners .Just checked me and told me to take my pain meds and Klonopin and sent me home. My pain moves around it's not fun.

Yes it would be nice to talk to you If you would like . I could use a friend.

I can't wait to to start living again!!!!

Take care and God Bless

[Tiff24]

nulife4us-Thank you for being so supportive and honest about your own struggles. It's kind of mind boggling for me to realize that my story can actually help others. I came to this website expecting myself to fail; but somehow, by taking one tiny step at time, getting lots of encouragement and prayers I've come to a place where I'm starting to believe in myself again. It's a horrible thing to realize that medicine is controlling your entire life. It's incredibly hard to admit you have a problem, and to know it will be an ongoing struggle. All this said, I believe that YOU can do it too. It's good to hear that you have support and that you are taking those tiny steps. It's great how far you've already come. Day three was, by far, the worst for me. If you can just get through a minute at a time, by the end of day four you should start to feel better. I just finished day seven and I actually went to the store, the bank, etc and didn't come home and bawl afterwards! I will be praying for you daily.

tired2-I'm so proud of you for what you are doing. Having fibro and going through this, it shows just how strong YOU are! I can't imagine having to deal with it for so long and to be dealing with this too. I've been trying the no sugar, no flour that melinda recommended and it's already helping. It kind of sucks but I'm pretty desperate. Anyway, I would love to continue talking to you. I've felt pretty lonely sometimes too and most of my old friends don't understand at all. My email is tiffyspiffy21@hotmail.com you can email me anytime. I have email on my phone too so that I'll be able to reply wherever I am.

It's funny because I could say that I randomly happened upon this website but I really think that God led me here because he knew that I would need all of you. I really am praying for you all daily. I may not know everyone's names but He does and I pray that He will heal, strengthen, encourage, and bless this wonderful group of people.
Tiffany

[mpvt]

Hi Tiff24:
My first question is '' How are you feeling''?? You should be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel by now. I hope you are feeling better as it is a heck of a battle to get through that 5-7 day run.

Once you start to get active and eating regularily be careful that you don't talk yourself into '' I could take a couple pills now and then''. I say this because once we start to feel bvetter we bvecome vulnerabvle, so just be aware that your addiction will always try and fool you into taking a opiate.
Try and get out for a walk a couple times a day and if you can drink lots of gatorade but stay away from the so called energy drinks. Eat a high protien diet for the next couple months to get your energy back and to allow your bvrain and body a chance to rebvert bvack to their normal state. Hang in there you're doing great......Dave

[tired2]

Hi Tiff ,
Sorry I didn't see you reply sooner ....Hope you are doing better.

I'm on 10mg as of yesterday ...woke up feeling like I was hit by a truck ...headache body aches and that nausea is back . Really hate this feeling. I took my pill this morning it took awhile but I'm feeling better now just ache all over .

I believe that God sent me to this site also for a reason . I believe he will give me the strength to get through this along with others on this site .I'm so great full to have found it the funny thing is I have been on and off it for a year . Never realizing it I would be on it . God does everything for a reason which is how I found Robert and MelindaI...however I really haven't talked to Melinda much but have heard a lot of good things .

Thank you for all the prayers I sure can use them . I will add your e-mail to my address book.

Thanks for wanting to listen ...I know everyone I know is tired of hearing my problems. My husband has been great through all this .I'm lucky that he has been so supportive.

God Bless and Take care,
Pam

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by tired2

Hi Tiff ,
Sorry I didn't see you reply sooner ....Hope you are doing better.

I'm on 10mg as of yesterday ...woke up feeling like I was hit by a truck ...headache body aches and that nausea is back . Really hate this feeling. I took my pill this morning it took awhile but I'm feeling better now just ache all over .

I believe that God sent me to this site also for a reason . I believe he will give me the strength to get through this along with others on this site .I'm so great full to have found it the funny thing is I have been on and off it for a year . Never realizing it I would be on it . God does everything for a reason which is how I found Robert and MelindaI...however I really haven't talked to Melinda much but have heard a lot of good things .

Thank you for all the prayers I sure can use them . I will add your e-mail to my address book.

Thanks for wanting to listen ...I know everyone I know is tired of hearing my problems. My husband has been great through all this .I'm lucky that he has been so supportive.

God Bless and Take care,
Pam

So I finally know your name! Hi Pam!

I'm glad you're feeling better since your last post. Talk to me later in the day and we'll decide how to adjust your meds. Sometimes it takes a couple days to get the dosing part down exactly right so you don't have ANY part of the day where you feel so badly. That's why I say the induction can take four days.

I don't want you feeling so badly only to have it made better AFTER you take your dose of subutex. You shouldn't be having that happen and we need to fix that. Will talk later today. God bless.

[tired2]

Boy you are so right .I was on perscriptions drugs most of my life on and off. Then I really got bad 4 yrs ago the PM doctor put me on vic's , norco ,oxy ,fentynol patch then morphine 30,60, 90mgs . I took them as perscribed . Went to detox to get of the morphine I stayed one week , not for me . They would make me stand up in every meeting (boy there were a lot ) and say I was a drug and alcoholic addict and I don't drink. really great on the self esteem. However I learned that once addicted your brain never forgets and when you start to use again it remembers where you stopped . So when you take those couple pill you want more then you end up hooked again .

After I went to detox Went back to my pain managment doctor for a revaluation and he put me back on Vic 7.5 but refused to increase my dose later so I would take extra for the pain .I even took my husbands norco's when he was done of course then refilled them . I thought that it was bull at detox but it's not. That one pill can make or break you.
I'm usually a pretty strong person but it caught me. Now I'm on Subutex and tapering with
Robert .

I want to be normal and get my life back once and for all . This site has been a God send. Everyone is so caring and doesn't judge you.

Sorry for going on and on ....actually my story really goes back a lot more which is on my sight.

God Bless

[kidmonster]

Hi tired2, you're correct this site is a God-send. I think that's a great point about how it's dangerous to pick up after being clean a while, as you Never 'forget' about drug addiction and you can start up where you left off, it can even be accelerated.. Good luck tired2 , Im also tapering off of Subox.

[Tiff24]

Wow, I just came on a found a bunch on new messages. I am feeling actually good today. It's the end of day 8 and my body feels back to normal. I've been out the house most of the day and the exercise really does help. I also seem to be dropping weight quickly, for some reason the Vicodin always made me hungry. I was really worried about what you're talking about Dave-thinking I could have just one, so today I made it pretty much impossible for me to get access to it and my husband is my rock. I don't want to ever have to go through this again. Everyone was so right about feeling 100% better at this point. I think we're actually going to have my daughter's b-day party at the zoo. If chasing a flock of wild children doesn't show how much better I feel, I don't know what does! I've been drinking Gatorade by the gallon and that helps too(thanks Dave!). My husband actually used to work as a personal trainer so he's got me on a barrage of vitamins and protein shakes.

Pam,
It is good to know you're name now I can put a name with my prayers. I'm sorry that you are having a rough day. The aching was the worst for me. Just keep taking baby steps to the light at the end of the tunnel! You can do it. I am more than happy to listen and talk to you! Talking through it is really great for all of us, and anyone who says they're sick of hearing about it isn't worth the trouble anyway! I have to put my munchkins to bed, but I will be back on in an hour or so.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Tiff24

Wow, I just came on a found a bunch on new messages. I am feeling actually good today. It's the end of day 8 and my body feels back to normal. I've been out the house most of the day and the exercise really does help. I also seem to be dropping weight quickly, for some reason the Vicodin always made me hungry. I was really worried about what you're talking about Dave-thinking I could have just one, so today I made it pretty much impossible for me to get access to it and my husband is my rock. I don't want to ever have to go through this again. Everyone was so right about feeling 100% better at this point. I think we're actually going to have my daughter's b-day party at the zoo. If chasing a flock of wild children doesn't show how much better I feel, I don't know what does! I've been drinking Gatorade by the gallon and that helps too(thanks Dave!). My husband actually used to work as a personal trainer so he's got me on a barrage of vitamins and protein shakes.

Pam,
It is good to know you're name now I can put a name with my prayers. I'm sorry that you are having a rough day. The aching was the worst for me. Just keep taking baby steps to the light at the end of the tunnel! You can do it. I am more than happy to listen and talk to you! Talking through it is really great for all of us, and anyone who says they're sick of hearing about it isn't worth the trouble anyway! I have to put my munchkins to bed, but I will be back on in an hour or so.

Tiff ... I'm happy for you! You sound like a new person. It's amazing what can happen in eight days. You never have to use again! God bless.

[tired2]

I'm so glad you are out and about ...It's great you are going to be well to have your daughters b-day party .

I started to feel so much better since Mr Headache left and took Mr Nausea with. Then Mr Body Pain ran after them I have felt so much better most of the day . I'm down to 10mg of the Subutex thank's to Robert . I really hope he lets me taper to 8mg tomorrow....I haven't heard what I will be on for sure. They were talking about keeping me on 10mg earlier today Guess I will find out soon .

Well you keep drinking that gatorade etc... I wish my husband was a personnel trainer ...I use to have one then I had knee surgery and had to stop . I started to workout again but I have this going on I didn't think about the protien shakes I have those...I will start drinking them since I really don't have a appetite .

I see Robert found me here wandering around your site....Hi Robert yes now I have a name.


Well take care and God Bless
Pam

[tired2]

Originally Posted by kidmonster

Hi tired2, you're correct this site is a God-send. I think that's a great point about how it's dangerous to pick up after being clean a while, as you Never 'forget' about drug addiction and you can start up where you left off, it can even be accelerated.. Good luck tired2 , Im also tapering off of Subox.

Hi kidmonster,
Thank's .... Every want to talk just go to my site. How long have you been tapering off Sub's
Robert has been tapering me just follow everything he says and you will do fine .
Take Care and God Bless

[mpvt]

Sounds like your on your way to a better life and that's great. You have good support from your husband which is critical. Keep up with the eercise and eating well. Don't be afraid to talk to your husband or who ever you feel you can about how youfelt and maybe why you did some things that you did while on the opiates. Always keep your gaurd up as your addiction will always be there. Good luck and use this board for more support..Dave