[Debpurpletiger]

I havent been on this board long, but I am on Chronic Painmeds Morphine 60mg twice a day and Percocet 5/500 2 per day. My stepdad passsed away 13 days ago. I am abusing these like crazy.....I am so torn up about his death and am taking 20 of the morphine a day...no joke.....
Can anyone direct me to a link or a website that deals with the loss after a death?

I used to have an addiction, a bad one, to Fentanyl Patches 75mcg "cheeked" in my mouth. I have been off those since March, have been on the Morphine for 1 year, and I am losing it FAST!
I hope this doesn't get deleted as an inappropriate post, but I need advice, FAST!

[purpledog]

seriously pal, if you are taking 20 x 60mg morphine in one day i would get to the hospital, i have used morphine for years, and lots of mates, that is a massive amount,
1200mg and a totally ridiculous amount regardless of how you feel. you must either be mistaken on the amounts, or have the tolerance of an elephant, coz even most junkies wouldnt handle that amount.

your stepdad would be totally spewing if he could see what you are doing.
never mind a website, go to the ER as you fullas call it, and tell them.
you will od if you carry on like that.

try googling, help with greiving. use your head.
purpledog

[so_stupid]

I don't do drugs..so I don't know if this will help. But I did loose my father this year....in Feb. He died. It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. The only advice I can give you is to stop the drugs slowly and stay close to love ones. Thats what has helped me. And your step dad would not want you to be hurting yourself like this..because of him. GOD BLESS

[Debpurpletiger]

First of all I am NOT mistaken on the amounts. My pills are 30mg MSContin, yes, I have chewed 20 at a time. Yes I have the tolerance of an elephant and that from being an opiate abuser who also has chronic pain, for 6 years. Your remark about my stepdad rolling in his grave or whatever the heck you said is NOT the type of thing I needed to hear................why do you think I posted here and asked for HELP! Not to be badmouthed....HELP is what I asked for.

I KNOW what I am doing is not right, duh, thats why I asked!!! And yes I used to "cheek" 75mcg Fentanyl patches which I am sure is why my tolerance is up, plus Oxys and Morphines and Perks for 6 YEARS! So dont tell me what I already know! Suggest a freakin idea.....at least I am honest enough to say "Hey, I am diving back into bad territory and maybe someone out there can help..........."

[Debpurpletiger]

To so_stupid, thank you....thank you for just reading and understanding and not being judgemental

[Debpurpletiger]

Yes I was irate about what purpledog said,,,...I dont want to offend anyone though, who actually may have a website they know of I can go to or a personal story I can relate to. He passed away 15 days ago.......please help me know what to do.....

[RubyDean]

listen tiger, dealing with the loss of a loved one is hard. it happens everyday, and some folks stories are so gutwrenching you wonder how could they possibly go on, but they do.
they believe, have faith, and know that they are in a better place. think about the time you spent together and the life lessons he showed you. it sounds like you have an extremely heavy addiction to opiates, like many of us here do. you have been an addict so much longer than 15 days. when tragedy strikes me use more and more to the bitter ends. you can't continue to go down that road. you need help, we can't fight this addiction alone. you really need to check into a good rehab facility and detox with medical supervision. you need to get your mind, heart, and spirit back in order to grieve, and grow. it is the only thing that will save your life. miracles do happen, but god only helps those who help themselves. i am a true believer you gotta give to get.
all the will. peace>

[Debpurpletiger]

Thank you so much for your kind words. And you are absolutely correct in what I need to do....because I dont want to get out of control like before.

I appreciate your response so much.