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My Detox Journey from Oxy to Methadone to Suboxone to freedom (hopefully)
As I write this I'm being prescribed Suboxone, I will get to that.
I was clean for 5 years, off everything. I am a member in decent standing in a 12 step group. I was pretty active. I think the reason I relapsed was I wasn't working my steps.
One of my coworkers offered me an oxy while we were working late one day.
I thought I could take it with impunity. I was wrong, within two weeks I was taking 80 mgs of oxys a day.
I called my older brother for help, he's been on Methadone for almost ten years so he of course directed me to his case manager.
I was prescribed methadone for two years. My wife is also in recovery, she didn't like the idea but my reasoning was if I don't take something for the withdrawals, I would probably continue to use.
I thought I would be able to only take methadone for a short while, but a short while turned into 2 yrs real quick.
I should note that unbeknownst to anyone other than my brother, I was taking 130 mgs/day of methadone from the clinic, and another 130-260 mgs/day of methadone from the street.
It was costing me an additional $300 to $600 a week.
Plus if I couldn't get the full 260/day, I would be sick.
I knew it was time to do something before I killed myself.
I called a local outpatient treatment center and we worked out a plan to get off the methadone.
I've come off methadone cold turkey before about ten years ago. It was the most terrible thing I've ever experienced.
I knew I was headed that direction if I continued on.
My last dose of methadone (260mgs) was on a moday morning.
That was the day I met with the outpatient treatment director and the prescribing Doc.
We wrote me a hefty script of dilaudid and told me to take 1 1/2 pills (8mg) every three hours starting in the morning instead of any methadone.
I'm not gonna sugar coat any of this, I think it's important to be completely honest on here so if you are going throught the same thing you have an idea what to expect. Of course everybody is different.
At about noon on tuesday I was pretty sick, the Dr. told me to let him know if that happened.
The treatment center made sure the dilaudid was handled by someone other than me, luckily I have a wonderfully supportive wife who wishes only good things for me. She told me she, under no circumstances would give me more than what was prescribed. I had to call the Doc, I was sick and I needed to be at work.
He told me to take 2 pills every two hours.
I for some reason thought that if I got the dosage right I wouldn't feel any withdrawals.
I was wrong. I tried to get the doc to increase my dose but he told me there wasn't any way he could, by law.
Wednesday was terrible but livable. Thursday was about the same, by Friday I was starting to feel better so I decided to try to decrease my dilaudid intake. Of course the Doc had to prescribe me more before my next visit because I was taking more than originally prescibed.
When the Doc wrote my second script, he (by mistake I found out later) wrote " take one every six hours"
I tried my ass of to get him on the phone but it was the weekend and even though I had enough pills to last me til Monday when I was suppose to see him again, my wife didn't want to go against medical advice.
Once she saw how sick I was getting she agreed that it must have been an error and allowed me a pill every two hours.
Monday when I saw the doc again he asked me how I was doing and I told him I was sick.
He noticed his error and told me to take 2 pills every two hours.
According to him, I shouldn't feel any withdrawals at all.
The dilaudid regiment was designed for two full weeks, allowing the body to rid itself of methadone.
That week went great, I was back to my old self, feeling no pain, popping dilaudid like they were breath mints.
I was instructed that I was to come back to the office the following Monday in full blown withdrawal.
That meant I was suppose to stop taking the dilaudid at 4 am Monday morning.
I slept through 4 am so at 7 am I took my last dose.
My appointment was at 1:30, I got there early and when they opened the door I was in his face ready to feel better.
He had prescribed me 3/8mg strips of suboxone and told me to fill the script but not to take it until I was in his office.
He started me out with a quarter strip, waited fifteen, another quarter strip, waited fifteen, a half strip, waited fifteen, the one strip. I didn't feel much better but the drug addict in me was saying I was ok finally.
He rescheduled me for one week, wrote me a script for 3/ 8mg strips a day and sent me home. I took the third strip while leaving his office.
I didn't get home, I had to pull into a gas station and throw up.
I WAS SICK!! not, kind of sick, I'm telling you, I felt like a freight train had hit me.
It was all I could do to get home. I called the Doc and he told me to take one more strip (total 32mgs)
I was in hell!! The worst part of it was my legs and arms. They were hurting so damn bad, my stomach was all screwed up, my nose was running off my face. Hot/cold, etc. I think you get the picture. I basically slept in a tub of hot water, not that I was able to sleep but I took some Tylenol PMs to help.
The next morning I took 4 strips at once and laid there for two hours. I realized I was feeling better.
The next day was ok, I don't know if it was the withdrawals still or the effects of the subs but I had a headache and stomach nausea.
I started reading up on Subs and found this site but I read in a few places that 32 mgs is too much.
According to the FDA the maximum effective dose for this stuff is 16mgs.
According to Suboxone .com the Max effective dosage is 24mgs.
Its day 5 on subs and I feel a ton better. This morning I took 16 mgs and then because I wasn't sure I took an additional 8mgs.
Any help here would be appreciated by the way, I'm going into the weekend feeling optimistic.
My brother can't even believe I've made it this far, he thought for sure I would go running back to methadone.
I'll die first!!
The guy I was buying the extra methadone from is looking for me, he was getting nice and cozy with an extra $600/ week. Scew him! It's in my best interest to stay the course.
I'm sorry I wrote such a novel. Not only is it good for me to express this stuff, I know someone out there will find it if not helpful, entertaining.
I will update with my progress, my goal is to be completely off this stuff by the end of the year.
I have a treatment plan in place for my continued success. I'm still involved in AA and I have plenty of support there and at home.
I wish you all the best
No doubt you have come to the right place. I no virtually nothing about methadone, suboxone. Only what I read here. But Robert 325 sure does and he will help you. He is having PC problems at this moment but will be back online soon. Hang in there buddy. Your honesty says much about how sick you are of all this. People here will help you through whatever it is you need. They are the best of the best. But you have to really want this. And it sure sounds like you do. Sorry I am not much help. But want you to know. I read your post. And want you to succeed........it can be done. And you can do it.
i posted on your other thread... you are taking FAR TOO MUCH SUBS....
no way do you even need 16mg and i know for sure robert will back me up on that one.....
you have to reduce by 25% every four or so days... and once you are stable, on one dose. stick to it...
DONT TAKE ONE MORE COZ YOU ARE NOT SURE.... jeez mate thats insane... read my posts on other thread and take control or you will end up just another sub statistic....
ive been there done that mate. on iv drugs, on methadone, for years, and switched to subs... you are only supposed to be on 30mg max to switch so no wonder you went into prec wd....
your doctor, or the fda, are gonna push more subs on you, coz they make money off it.....
get yourself lower immediately...
Originally Posted by cheekysod
My doc thinks he has me on 32mg. The reason I took the other strip was because at the time I wasn't sure if I was ready to blatantly disregard his advice. I know now that I must.
I'm not looking forward to Monday when I get to explain why I'm only at 8mgs
He told me before I started that he would never ask me to decrease my dose.
Every time I see him its $100 plus I pay for my own scripts which aren't cheap.
I asked him about subutex cause the cost is cheaper and he told me he doesn't trust me yet, but I had to earn it.
I understand that, he's only been my doc for 3 weeks.
Thanks again for the reply, I am optimistic for the future.
A month ago I was on a truckload of methadone so I'm feeling better in contrast.
Thank you for your kind words, they help tremendously.
Originally Posted by Sundwn
Last edited by ddcmod; 07-22-2012 at 03:04 AM.
hi baconator, I would ordinarily never tell a person not to do what their doctor prescribes but in all the reading I have done I have yet to run across a doctor who really knows about suboxone. What you experienced that first day was not normal, it is called precipitated withdrawals and it is because you were not in withdrawals enough and took way too much sub. Did your doctor tell you that subs have a ceiling effect? If you are inducted correctly you should not be sick at all. I was inducted on only 4mg.'s and didn't get as sick as you did. I did not go into withdrawals but I also had to go to bed when I got home sick from extreme nausea and threw up too. Then the next day I only took half, 2mg's and felt much better. My prescription was for 4mg.s 3X a day but I only took 2 mg. two times a day. As soon as I took less I felt better. You have a good attitude and I'm sure you will get through this with flying colors.
I'm glad that you have made a good and positive decision for yourself and are in treatment. Suboxone isn't a "cure-all". but it has literally saved a lot of lives - my own included. You are feeling better and that is great. I do think your Doc might have had you on too high of a dose...32mg/day is a lot. Due to the ceiling effect of buprenorphine, after a certain amount, there is no increased effect, only duration. If you are getting by on 8-16mg/day that is great.It is best to be up front and honest with your doctor about what you feel and what you need, and most importantly be honest with yourself. Please, dont be in a hurry to get off Subs...use this time to get your life together and allow yourself to heal. Dont let people talk you into getting off the medicine, remember we are being treated for a chronic disease.When the time is right and you are truly ready, allow your doctor to gently taper you off.
I've got a headache but other than than, I feel OK.
Last edited by ddcmod; 07-22-2012 at 03:05 AM.
What a story!
Good luck for you in your treatment plan..
Bless your heart Baconator.
Guess you could say there were u boats in your submarines! ^_^
Hang in there.
Last edited by xFaithx; 07-22-2012 at 04:39 AM.
I love that you can speak freely about you treatment and wish you all the best!!! I think the key point to this is your friend giving you the oxy in the first place. I feel when a dr. priscribes drugs for someone they are for THAT SOMEONE!!! People are too free to give meds. to others and have no idea what that med. will do to that person. In your case that one pill put you through hell and back!! Point being.....If people would control the urge to give their med. to others there woulden't be such a high rate of priscription drug addition!!! This is why they are CONTROLED SUSBENTANCES!!!!! WAKE UP PEOPLE!!! The people who realy need the medicine are suffering because of YOU!!
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