I am really, really angry.
I have had mild to moderate depression since I was a young teenager. My depression became severe following some very unpleasent life events about 3 years ago. I resisted taking antidepressents for as long as I could, as my mother had warned me against them. About two and a half years ago when I was so depressed I was no longer able to get out of bed, a friend took me to an emergency clinic. The doctor there prescribed me
Lexapro. At the time I argued against it, as I knew that my mother had suffered badly from brain zaps and tinitus while taking
Celexa (which Lexapro is related to). The doctor there assured me that it was very safe, that he had prescribed it to many young people, and that no one had complained about side effects.
I started taking 10mg, but after two weeks the doctor thought I had not made enough improvement and increased the dose to 20mg. I took a few doses of this strength, but it gave me terrible insomnia, racing heart, skipped heart beats, and trouble regulating my breathing. After two or three doses I decrease the dose back to 10mg (but didn’t tell the doctor). I have been taking 10mg of Lexapro for 2 and a half years now and have not been aware of any side effects until now.
My depression has stedily improved, and I believe I have not been depressed now for around 6 months. My physical depression improved much faster than my mood. Initially my mood just became flattened, as other people have mentioned, but after about 18 months I began to experience normal highs and lows again.
I talked to my doctor about stopping the medicine, as I believe I have now been well for some time. She agreed, however warned me to think carefully about it, as she knew there was a stressful event in my life at the time. She also told me to come off it very slowly. I decided to wait a few months, as I was moving overseas, and didn’t want to cope with the transition as well as coming off medication.
I have not yet started to decrease my medicine. I was planing to do so very soon, as I have been living in Switzerland for several months now and am coping fine. However, about 3 weeks ago, I started having trouble sleeping. I wake up a lot in the night, and have nightmares. Stranger still, as I am falling asleep, I suddenly feel like an electric shock is going through my body, starting in my brain. After these shocks I feel very frightened and disoriented for some time and can’t sleep. It suddenly occurred to me today that I am suffering from what my mother described as ‘brain zaps’. So I googled lexapro and brain zap, and found out exactly how common it is.
What I don’t understand, is that I haven’t started to come off my medication yet, so I can’t be suffering from withdrawal. Has anyone else had brain zaps while taking their regular dose of medication?
What really surprised me (and made me furious) is the number of people complaining of weight gain while taking this medicine. Since I started taking Lexapro, I have put on 60 pounds. I was plump (but not obese) beforehand, so this is really quite serious. When I went to see the doctor about coming off Lexapro, I also asked her about my weight gain. I thought it might be related to the medication. She looked up Lexapro, and told me that weight gain was not a side effect. She said that I ate too much and didn’t exercise enough. I told her that I ate very well, lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, and that I rode my bicycle everywhere I went (at least 8km a day). I don’t think she believed me. I no longer fit into any of my clothes, I don’t have money to buy new ones (I am a student) and the result is I feel like I’m not fit to be seen outside the house.
I am now desperate to stop taking Lexapro, but am also very scared, after having read about all the withdrawal effects. Does anyone have any advice about how to stop taking Lexapro, and what I can do to reverse the weight gain?
Lexapro side effects 
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