Wife Opiate Withrawal! Please Help

[sunandfun703]

Hi All –
I was on here several months ago while I was kicking my opiate addiction. I am very proud to say that I have been clean for 81 days now! There are not enough words in the world to explain how much my life has changed for the better. My wife was an active addict throughout my entire sober period and I still remained sober. I have learned that determination and hope have no limits. I was, and still am, at war with this disease every day.

Now, it is my wife’s turn to quit. She really does not have a choice b/c the drug dealer is currently out and doctors will no prescribe. This is her second day clean and she is falling apart. The withdrawal nightmare is hitting her head on. With that said, I am thankful that I can pull from my experience to help her as much as possible. I am really concerned, however, because she just told me that she does not want to quit. She is just doing it so that my son and I do not I are not disappointed in her. I know that to truly quit you have to want it for yourself. I have given her that speech, but she says that she is not doing it for herself. Is there anything that I can do to get her to own sobriety? I have tried everything. I am really worried that a relapse is around the corner and she will not want to quit again b/c the pain of withdrawal is too close behind her. Please help!

[shrimpboat 1942]

Sunandfun--Congratulations on being sober! That is a wonderful feat. I'm not there yet, have to get rid of the subs (down to 0.33mg per day).

You cannot do the work of sobriety for her. You can't motivate her--you're right --she has to want it for herself.

Your successful recovery will be an in-your-face example of what she could be. She won't be able to BS you, since you've been through it yourself.

I like the metaphor of the garden. Plant the seeds of successful recovery in her mind. Let the sun shine down. When the seed is ready and starts to grow, water it and keep it safe from weeds. But you can't pull it up to make it grow any faster--that'll kill it. Hard to sit back and watch. Tend your own garden. When she sees how lush and beautiful your recovery (garden) is, she'll know just who to come to for help--you--the Master gardener.

Keep shining, Sun. Your warmth is obvious right through the post.

[grip]

sunandfun I don't know if you do it just for yourself but it's for your life. and she should see that you and your son are part of her life, so in essence she should do it for all of you. with drugs you're no good to yourself or anyone else, it's kind of a living death.

[sunandfun703]

Shrimp - That is a great metaphor. All I can do is stay positive for her. I am listening actively in order for her to talk and cry. I am reaching into my detox bag of tricks in order to make her a little more comfortable. And I am telling her to fight, fight harder than she has ever fought...one day at a time.

[sunandfun703]

Grip - You hit the nail on the head. We had a similar talk this morning. I told her that my son and myself are very much a part of her life. And if she wants to maintain a happy healthy relationship with us, then she needs to quit. If she continues down this path, her life will suffer, including her relationship with us. She is still hanging in there. I keep telling her how proud I am of her. She is being a trooper. I am so proud of her...and I love her so much. She is my soulmate.

[grip]

it also helps when someone realizes that addiction literally hijacks the brains reward system. even though our reasoning tells us it's wrong we become almost compelled to continue because the brain chemicals involved are now telling us in urges that it's what's needed to exist. the reward system isn't just about pleasure it's nature way of giving us the tools mentally to survive. but when we repeatedly use a substance and become physically dependent we'll use way beyond what we really want and by then we've made all these new neural connections that spin us out of control. to say it's hard is an understatement and for some it seems almost impossible because they're more genetically prone than others.

[pitbulllover67]

it also helps when someone realizes that addiction literally hijacks the brains reward system. even though our reasoning tells us it's wrong we become almost compelled to continue because the brain chemicals involved are now telling us in urges that it's what's needed to exist. the reward system isn't just about pleasure it's nature way of giving us the tools mentally to survive. but when we repeatedly use a substance and become physically dependent we'll use way beyond what we really want and by then we've made all these new neural connections that spin us out of control. to say it's hard is an understatement and for some it seems almost impossible because they're more genetically prone than others.

Dude this post is awesome.When I was on roxis I was superman and out of control.I wish I could get as much done off the roxis.I stared a taper at 8mgs suboxone and Im down to 3.35 now.Its been a rocky ride but Im doing it.

[grip]

I read about this recently pitbulllover67 and figured it helps for people to understand partially what's going on and not to let over riding guilt interfere with recovery. a majority of us don't become addicts for fun we usually start using the meds legitimately but end up abusing because of an inability to cope with the stress of life. good luck with cutting the sub down further and I hope your wife is still doing well sunandfun703.

[manwhosoldtheworld]

Hey sun, hope you are good with all i like th SHRIMPBOAT paragraph for seeing all the views give her love time and care maybe she is wanting that from you and your family drugs are always abusive and shameful for everyone GOD BLESS