[KizzieB]

I was shocked to discover that so many of us addicts talk about being normal, even i went through this, please tell me what is normal for you or how do you see normal being for you.

exactly what is normal, is there a way we as humans are suppose to act or talk or walk or think.

I DONT THINK SO....

we are individuals arnt we ?

what is normal for your friend is not normal for you and how do you know that your so called normal friend is not looking at you and wishing they were normal like you?....

Just think about it for a moment.

What is normal?....

When i was an addict i would take my drugs to feel what i thought shoud be normal for me and that was to not be in pain in the begining but as time went by i was taking them to get high, more and more untill normal was not on my agenda but high and chilled out was my desired normal, i knew i had a real problem with addiction so now i tried to get off them and the normal i wanted was the norm of being free from addiction like my brother and my sister, they had a stable happy drug free life...so it seemed but it turned out they too had many worries and issues they were dealing with and i hid my addiction so well they were looking at me and saying i had the normal life they would like, i had to laugh...they had no idea.

so you see no one has a perfect life and stuff happens to everyone but what we consider to be normal is just a state of mind.
are we fooling ourselfs?

tell me what you think.
Kizzie.B.

Everything happens for a reason.................

[johnnny]

you just like majorly tripped me out i hope your ****ing proud of yourself

[cluelessNJ]

I mean in a sence that is in regards to my body when I say it. Only because for the longest time I relied on opiates to make me normal. Without them I was sick!

June

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[Junkie781]

quote:exactly what is normal, is there a way we as humans are suppose to act or talk or walk or think.

For me, in this context, "normal" is clean, detoxed, and feeling no physical cravings for opiates. I think I started to feel this way after about 7 days of not using....

There were times when I smoked crack, many, many years ago. When you're "on the pipe" you just want and want and want....now now now.....it would take me over for a while.....then the money would run out or I'd pass out after being awake for 3 or 4 consecutive days....and I'd wake up and there would be no "physical" cravings, because the those are gone with coke when you come down....but the mental thing is truly heinous, cunning, powerful and deadly. And it takes a LONG time for it to subside, but if you hang in there long enough, you "forget" the buzz....so to speak. Like now, I have NO desire for crack, for example. Because it's been SO long since I did it, I can't really even remember what it was like anymore....oh sure I remember it, but not like I did 10 years ago.

Hang in there with me, this is going somewhere....

I want the superhuman feeling that pills gave me to become that distant memory like the crack is now.

I can do that if I stay off the pills for the rest of today

It's really that simple: I choose not to use.

[lordy]

Barry, are you SURE you don't want to write a memoir?
It helps me tremndously to hear I might actually "forget" cravings. Wow...if that happened..I'd be the happiest girl alive.
So--thanks. Hearing that helps, helps, helps.

Nicole, Day 10

[Junkie781]

quote:Nicole, Day 10

You rule, Nicole, thanks for your kind words. It's nice to know that someone is paying attention to my ramblings LOL

We just have to give ourselves time to re-learn how to deal with life on life's terms, without junk. That's the challenge for me. Go to work, do the job, and I have a very stressful job, believe me. Get through another day.....

My favorite band, Dream Theater, has a song with these lyrics:

"Face each day, with both eyes open wide
And try to give, don't keep it all inside"

It hit me like a sledgehammer when I heard it today.

THAT'S "Normal" or part of it, at least.

I plan on writing my life story, Nicole, it's funny you mention that because EVERYONE I tell about my past tells me the same thing. Perhaps it will give me something to do with my time when I retire.

Good night everyone

[luvlifemore]

I think most people do drugs because they want to change the way "normal" feels.

I've been clean awhile and I guess this is "normal".
However, I do remember on my drug of choice, in the beginning...
it gave me a great energy.
It made me feel like I could do anything.
I wanted that to be my "normal" state.
That is the danger.

Clean is the "normal" that I want now.

Why..because addiction is a progressive disease.
It does not stagnate. It cannot stay the same.
The amount you need to feel that great "energy" increases.
So does the money it soaks from your life's dreams.

Eventually it takes more energy to get it - than it gives.
Soon you are so busy scoring and doing it....
that you aren't REALLY getting much else done.
You're not even having much fun.
The stuff you used to do for fun, you aren't doing anymore.

After awhile it's not even giving you that desired cool feeling you liked it so much for...
unless you take more ....

Then you can't feel good without it because the brain's chemistry is changed and you don't create your own serotonin anymore (that natural "feel good" chemical that the brain used to create on it's own).

You don't even feel pain when you lose the people that loved you.
Thus the name "painkillers".
Eventually you don't feel anything at all...

You don't have any of your own natural energy anymore.
You need the stuff just to get out of bed, when did this happen?

Everybody is different - so it takes over everyone's life in a different way,
but it does take over.
The stories are well documented on this site.

No one sets out to become an addict.
It happens because of what the chemicals do to the brain.
Everyone thinks they can handle it.
But it's just a matter of time.

The pharmeceutical companies love it.
They get rich when people get addicted.

Problem is - it gets out of control.
Then the only choices become...
A. Use more and become even more addicted...or
B. Stop now before the inevitable withdrawal becomes even harder.

"Normal" life can be a little overwhelming some days
maybe even a ******* drag sometimes.

But being a SLAVE to drugs is WAY worse than a drag.
You can lose everything you care about before you even see it coming.
Don't blow it.

Luv Life More

[KizzieB]

Wow you guys, your words have touched me and i agree that maybe we should all write our story.

Its really interesting to read your posts about my question....

I asked this because i hear it so many times but mostly from addicts...

I hope you guys get clean and stay clean and good luck for the future, lets face it,if you are clean then you now have a future...god bless



Kizzie.B.

Everything happens for a reason.................