[mjr6825]

I am a full blown vicodin addict that has just come out of denial. I can't believe it has taken me 5 years to realize that I am an addict that has lost control. I could really use some help and advice from some of you folks that have tried to stop on your own by "weaning down". I am told that the chips are stacked against me, but I do remember trying this before and I stopped for a month. For years I have only taken a total of 10-15 vicodin per week (only on weekends). This small time use worked fine for me for years. I was introduced to vicodin initially from when they were prescribed to me for a horrible accident. Than I took a liking to them and noticed how well the worked for my existing panic disorder and anxiety.

For the past 6 months (after I went through a terrible break up with my girlfriend in addition to leaving my job) my habit has gone up to 10-15 pills per day(10mg each) per day, I am spending $700 per week on 100 pills. I realize that there are folks out there that take up to 100 per day. However, I have already gone through over 25 thousand dollars in the past 6 months and I am left with no money and over 15 thousand in credit card debt. Its time for me to make a change.

I wanted to try out one last idea before going to the rapid detox teatment (waiserman method) in Florida (besides, these clinics cost over $20,000 - which I do not have). So my plan was to wean off using my own organized system. I created an excel sheet that tracks exactly how many pill I take every single say, at what times, at what times I feel withdrawal and I even calculate the cost per day, week and month that I am losing to this habit.

I figured that filling out this spread sheet every day will force me to decrease my dosage by 1/2-1 pill per day until I can get it down to an every other day habit and than eventually none. I have a friend that keeps offering me suboxatone because of my fear of going public with my addiction to my primary care doctor. So far I have turned down the suboxatone, but I may use it if necessary.

I guess the only holes in my above theory are the following:
1) I was told that I must perform a cleanse of some kind in addition to weaning down. I know there are supplements for colon cleanse and some other products. Does anyone suggest any good detox/cleansing products that I can use - and at what point I should use them??
2) I am more than happy to go to an addiction counselor or doctor. HOwever I do not want to go to my primary care doctor. I am having trouble figuring out whether I would be going to a psychiatrist or another kind of doctor? Or if just a drug counselor.. Any input would be great. I am a private person that does not want to perform any "group activities" in clinics or anything like that.
3) I am on celexa and welbutrin for anxiety and depression, does anyone know if either of these drugs may react badly to the withdrawal process? I was told that my brain chemistry may go through a "destabilization process" due to the celexa and wellbutrin kicking in alot differently when the opiate is pulled from the equation.
4) I have not had any severe organ or brain damage that I know of yet (even after 5 years of use in combination with alcohol). But that does not mean I am out of the woods. Have any of you suffered any severe, permanent health related consequences as a result of long term use?
5) I am also nervous about having to re-learn how to live an opiate free life. Does anyone know of any good books (or even video) I could read to help coach me through this?
5) I live on the NorthShore in Massachusetts... if anyone knows any good resources (counselors, docs, etc...) I welcome your input.


Any help would be appreciated. I am on a rollercoaster of emotions right now. I just swallowed 5 more pills just now because I am trying to dodge withdrawal until I can get further answers to my above questions. I feel like such a loser tonight.

I could really use someone's support right now....

Thanks and god bless you all for making such an admirable effort to help the people on this board.

[dobo]

It's very possible to wean down. You just have to get in control of yourself and do it.

Last year, once I settled into pain mgmt and was off the dilaudid pump and duragesic patches, I was taking 2x20mg of oxycontin and six or more 10/325 percocet plus other helper or potentiator drugs such as valium, diclofenac, ambien and skelaxin. I first identified a physical dependency two months in. As I healed and my pain level improved, I reduced my dose. Now I take 3x 10/325 percocet and an ambien once in a while. Although I enjoy the drugs, I'm not happy with being dependent. It's currently impossible for me to quit because I'm still dealing with pain. But I also realize that I'm continuing to support my dependency. Such is life.

Fortunately, my drugs are basically free thanks to insurance. It seems like your incentives such as stopping the bleeding out of assets and the fact that you're ruining your financial future, along with the disciplined speadsheet approach you say you're using should be enough to get yourself under control.

Although I have little experience with this, only being dependent for 1½ years, I do see one hole in your theory. I do not believe at this point in physical dependency you can get yourself down to an every other day habit unless you maintain a blood level sufficient to carry you through the days you skip. I believe this would require a significant amount of drugs, similar to what you're taking now. You'd merely alter the dosing schedule. At my current dosage and taking the pills a half at the time, I get very uncomfortable and begin entering withdrawal after 8 hours without any dope.

From what I read around here, suboxen sounds like the magic bullet and a simple and painless way to get through the detox. If you you don't need the pills to treat actual physical pain, this should be an easy deal. I'd suggest you investigate this route if it's available to you.

Best of luck,
DB

[dobo]

mjr,

I should add that over the time I've been on pain meds, I've accumulated a stash of over 200 percocets and still have fentanyl patches, a good supply of both flavors of oxycontin, a big bottle of tylox that my wife got after a surgery this year and didn't need plus an assortment of other older supplies of mepergan, endocet and the like that were collected from dentists, etc. Lack of product on hand is not the reason for my dose reduction. You can do it too.

[TPotter19]

Ok, First of all I wish you the best as you come down from your addiction. I have never abused the drug, but do to some surgeries i had after my drunk ass friend hit me with my own car i was on them for like 6 months. I made my self get off them because i would feel like complete **** soon as the effect went away, i loved the good feeling they gave me and they helped with the pain. I would get grumpy and snap on my own family members for the littlest stupid thing when the come down happened, so i would wait intill i could take another one( i always followed the scribt time) and the waiting sucked. ok... but i have to say... your story is the most ****ing dumbest thing i have ever heard of. $25,000 in six months on vicodins? Thats ****ing crazy!!!! I mean... i guess i could see that for a full blown crack head or a major cocaine addict, but damn..VICODIN!!!!!! U need to see all kinds of docs.. major shrink work! Best of luck... u are gonna need it. o... and dont give up... it will getb really really bad before it starts to get better, but things will be worked out and u will be back to good!

[TPotter19]

depo e-mail me CSUIndians19@aol.com u say u got a stockpile/

[dobo]

TPotter, do not send me email messages again. I will not contact you and I will not transfer or sell anything to you in any imaginable form. Forget it.

[Ron714]

quote:Originally posted by mjr6825

I am a full blown vicodin addict that has just come out of denial. I can't believe it has taken me 5 years to realize that I am an addict that has lost control. I could really use some help and advice from some of you folks that have tried to stop on your own by "weaning down". I am told that the chips are stacked against me, but I do remember trying this before and I stopped for a month. For years I have only taken a total of 10-15 vicodin per week (only on weekends). This small time use worked fine for me for years. I was introduced to vicodin initially from when they were prescribed to me for a horrible accident. Than I took a liking to them and noticed how well the worked for my existing panic disorder and anxiety.

For the past 6 months (after I went through a terrible break up with my girlfriend in addition to leaving my job) my habit has gone up to 10-15 pills per day(10mg each) per day, I am spending $700 per week on 100 pills. I realize that there are folks out there that take up to 100 per day. However, I have already gone through over 25 thousand dollars in the past 6 months and I am left with no money and over 15 thousand in credit card debt. Its time for me to make a change.

I wanted to try out one last idea before going to the rapid detox teatment (waiserman method) in Florida (besides, these clinics cost over $20,000 - which I do not have). So my plan was to wean off using my own organized system. I created an excel sheet that tracks exactly how many pill I take every single say, at what times, at what times I feel withdrawal and I even calculate the cost per day, week and month that I am losing to this habit.

I figured that filling out this spread sheet every day will force me to decrease my dosage by 1/2-1 pill per day until I can get it down to an every other day habit and than eventually none. I have a friend that keeps offering me suboxatone because of my fear of going public with my addiction to my primary care doctor. So far I have turned down the suboxatone, but I may use it if necessary.

I guess the only holes in my above theory are the following:
1) I was told that I must perform a cleanse of some kind in addition to weaning down. I know there are supplements for colon cleanse and some other products. Does anyone suggest any good detox/cleansing products that I can use - and at what point I should use them??
2) I am more than happy to go to an addiction counselor or doctor. HOwever I do not want to go to my primary care doctor. I am having trouble figuring out whether I would be going to a psychiatrist or another kind of doctor? Or if just a drug counselor.. Any input would be great. I am a private person that does not want to perform any "group activities" in clinics or anything like that.
3) I am on celexa and welbutrin for anxiety and depression, does anyone know if either of these drugs may react badly to the withdrawal process? I was told that my brain chemistry may go through a "destabilization process" due to the celexa and wellbutrin kicking in alot differently when the opiate is pulled from the equation.
4) I have not had any severe organ or brain damage that I know of yet (even after 5 years of use in combination with alcohol). But that does not mean I am out of the woods. Have any of you suffered any severe, permanent health related consequences as a result of long term use?
5) I am also nervous about having to re-learn how to live an opiate free life. Does anyone know of any good books (or even video) I could read to help coach me through this?
5) I live on the NorthShore in Massachusetts... if anyone knows any good resources (counselors, docs, etc...) I welcome your input.


Any help would be appreciated. I am on a rollercoaster of emotions right now. I just swallowed 5 more pills just now because I am trying to dodge withdrawal until I can get further answers to my above questions. I feel like such a loser tonight.

I could really use someone's support right now....

Thanks and god bless you all for making such an admirable effort to help the people on this board.

[Tonka]

HI,
I am from the East Coast too, lived in Boston for 10 years. The best place for your to go, in my opinion is McLean Hospital in Belmont. You can google it. It's rated the best psychiatric hopspital in the country, and they also have an amazingly supportive rehab.
I really hope you look into this place. It changed my life.
Also, I hope you are doing the Cold Water Extraction on all these Vic's you are taking. You didn't mention anything about the acetaminophen, but I can't even imagine how much you have had if you haven't been extracting. You could lose your liver! or more..I only say this out of concern, not to scare you....
Do what you have to,
Tonka

[sparky]

mjr625...your post was beginning last year...are you clean...I hope...if not try suboxone....best to you

[mpvt]

Yes suboxone would definately be the way to go....Dave