[oxymoron]

In a nutshell this painkiller fiasco started 2 years ago with 5/500 vics approx 4-6 a day for back pain. Pretty soon the monthly supply I was getting from the doc wasn't lasting as long so I would ask friends if they had any and was usually pretty successful supplementing my prescrip. In the last 3 months I discovered snorting 1 then 2 then sometimes 3 80mg oxys was a whole lot more fun than a handful of vics or percs. IDIOT!!! Now I have finally realized what a f****** dumbass I've been and have just stopped taking the oxys on Friday and began this terrible hell I'm in now. Fortunately I still had a vic refill and it has tied me over but I was terrified of running out and finally had to come clean with the doc today and he gave me 20 60mg MS contins (morphine) and referred me to a chem dependancy counselor. Now what? I think I need a plan to wean me off this ****, not a chat with a shrink who can't prescribe meds. What do you folks suggest should be the next step for me? Are there doctors who specialize in this discreetly? I don't care what it costs and if need be I can do the detox- I just need a starting point. All input greatly appreciated!!!!!

[PoppyQueen]

Then Suboxone is the way to go before you get too deeply into Morphine. I hooked up with a psychiatrist who is certified to dispense this drug. It is totally discreet but pretty expensive. $350 for 1st visit, $200 each visit (monthly) thereafter. Drugs are gotten from a drug store. My insurance is picking up the whole deal. Check with yours first. I have a lifelong addiction to painkillers, expecially heavy the last 5 years. Don't think I missed a day.

After 18 hours of withdrawal, took a pill from the doc. and 20 mins. later, just about right as rain. For me, it's the only way to go. I'm too chicken to go cold turkey--especially when there's such a great option like Suboxone out there. Check the link below for a doctor near you.

http://www.suboxone-directory.com/

Good luck!
PQ

[iknowit]

First, Ihave to say something i find extremly disturbing! i'm reading this board an i'm very in to what every one is saying, so i stroll down to see where i can reply, and at the end of the board theres an ad for percoset and vicodin online! what dipsh** is that coldhearted to see something good and decide that would be a good idea to play on peoples weakneses, little do they know suboxen is a true mircle drug that turns your life around so dramaticly that the thought of getting high again only reminds you to take your next dose.
second, i"ve been taking painpills for five years, itake vicodin mostly but there have been many times that i would take anything i could get my hands on. I've tryed to quite many times but usually replaced my addiction with other drugs or alcohol.

the hard part for me is that i am the baby of 7 and they are all on herion or painkillers, even though i never touched dope, everytime i would attept to tackle this monkey on my back, one of my sisters or brothers keep me there. it was hard for me becuse in my part of town and espeicialy in my family drugs are a way of life. and just like an adict, i can sit here and blame but i've gotten to the point where i'm tired, of everything.
Nobody knows of my adiction except for the people i enlighten, i don't appear to be a junkie, but if you know anything about moodswings you would know theres somthing up. i used to love taking pills then starting to need them sucked, then calling off work if i couldn't get any, then not being able to just watch a movie without em. Funny thing is, I feel like **** without them, but i feel like **** on them, i'm nice ladyy, tired annoyed.............
I heard about suboxen 6 months ago, i thought it was just for people on dope untill a close friend of mine who took pills like me told me how they worked for him. that following day i drove him to the clinic and bought one off of him, that was two weeks ago, and i've been buying them since. i took pills once in two weeks because i couldn't get the suboxen, not the other way around, and beleive it or not, i like the suboxen better i feel pure guilt free, and like back in the day before i ever took pills.
truely a miricle!!!!!!
monday i'm looking into going to the doctor myself and doing this right, the hard part is coming clean with my doctor whom i've become accostomed to lieing to! i have come clean with my mom and i have her support.

for anyone that knows, i do have some worry? this seems to good to be true! i mean the way i feel on this stuff and how well it works, makes me wonder what long term effects this has and if it does any harm to your insides? if anyone has any info on that let me know,
i know it can't be worse than the drugs we've already poisend are body's with, but i guess i'm a little negative and am looking at all aspects of this situation, some of you are so overwhelmed with just 4 days clean that you think your cured, i'm sorry but everything in life has a price. however addiction is a disease like cancer, and maybe this is the cure?.........................................

pam

[oxymoron]

Hey, iknowit, good luck in your pursuit of freedom from this slop. You mention the hard part will be coming clean with the doctor you've been lying to. I did that on Thursday and you can't imagine the weight that was lifted from my shoulders. Especially when they reassured me that this problem doesn't necessarily point to a weakness in me personally but brings to light the extremely addictive nature of opioids. I will have my first consultation with a doctor who specializes in counseling for opiate dependant people on monday and I can't wait. My doc has given me morphine for the time being but I just take enough to ward off w/d. Looking forward to getting on the suboxone and also to learning about what got me here. Also, being 38 and using drugs for 25 years off and on (pot, alcohol, coke, speed, and now opiates- clean for 5 years before this recent episode) I can tell you having been in various outpatient treatment programs that although you are correct in mentioning that it is dangerous to feel cured in 4 days, there is nothing wrong with feeling better. I don't think we need to beat ourselves up to recover- I just think we need to be honest with ourselves and the professionals who choose to help us. If that means true emotions come flooding back and they are undesirable, so be it. But God willing, let us at least be clear minded enough to accept responsibility for the conscious choices we've made good or bad and humble enough to follow the suggestions of trained doctors. I appreciate your feedback on the suboxone, now it sounds like you need to get some of your own and find a doctor or a support group to help you change your behavior. The same goes for me. Take it easy, and if you're in the same boat I'm in, it can only get better.

[oxymoron]

Hey, PQ, thanks for the feedback. A couple of questions: first of all, what type of insurance do you have? I haven't checked with Blue Cross yet but I think with what they call the "high option" plan (no pun intended) I should be covered. Secondly, how soon before your appt. did you stop taking whatever you were taking? You mentioned 18 hours of w/d. does that mean 18 hours since last dose? Also, pretty suprising that you only need to see the doc monthly. What are you doing to supplement these monthly visits? In my humble opinion a lifelong addiction can't be effectively overcome one hour a month. Certainly not here to preach, but I've been there and I was even a little concerned when the contact I made only wanted to see me weekly, especially since the place I called before her wanted me in three group meetings and one individual meeting every week. with a demanding job in sales, married with children, that was gonna be rough but I guess whatever it takes and certainly to each his/her own.

[PoppyQueen]

Oxy, I have good health insurance through my husband's union. It's a small outfit and they also use Horizon. They have an employee assistance program that helps members and their family with substance abuse and alocoholism. I was precertified to see a psychiatrist. So when I went it had been 18 hours since my last "dose" and he gave me the Suboxone right there. We talked and then he gave me a little more. I was on the verge of going into heavy withdrawal and it all stopped. I had to go one week later. Then he gave me enough for a month and changed my anti-depressant to a new drug (Cymbalta) that also helps ease pain by blocking some receptors in your brain from recognizing that you are in pain. So far, not too bad! You're right in asking what else am I doing to keep clean and in the way of changing my bad habits and right now reading and writing on this forum is good help for me.

Some 25 years ago I was in an outpatient drug rehab one-on-one thing and I didn't care for it. My counselor had no dope experience and was going to college to be a social worker. Useless to me at the time. While I stopped my painkillers for a while, I was still using speed. In my youth I really wasn't getting it. So now I'm done with all those white powdery substances and basically am left with the pain killer problem. I'm hoping time heals all wounds.

I am certainly open to group meetings but have a problem with the religious aspect of 12 step programs. I think another kind of support group would be helpful. Don't know what yet but I'm looking. So right now, you guys are it!

PQ

[oxymoron]

Thanks for the input, Poppy. Just took my first dose of sub about 10 minutes ago. Plan on taking the other half of the 8 mg in @ an hour. at least that's what the doc said- then if I still feel bad after about 2 hours I can take another one. Haven't taken the morphine for about 24 hours but didn't feel that bad other than leg cramps and the sweats/chills/runny nose deal. I plan on having a garbage disposal party with my vics, morphine and a couple other products...you mentioned the speed- that's always been my drug of choice up until 7-8 years ago when I was bone sober for 5 years. Funny thing about a new demanding job and a new baby, they can trigger some escapism in the addict that I am....I think that's why
I got into the p/k's....something new and hey, the doc said it was OK....yea right....oh well here I am on sub and in a shrinks office earlier talking about the whole N/A thing again. Just a bit of advice if I may be so bold- if you have a problem with the "god" aspect of 12 step meetings, just do it your way. No one forces you to say you believe in a power greater than yourself- and for that matter it could be a doorknob for all they care. It's nice to be around people who've been where we've been and honestly you can actually leave feeling better and thankful you're not where some of those people are. Of course that works both ways. My wife doesn't understand a thing about this having been raised in private catholic school her whole life- not to say she was a goody two shoes but certainly never saw the ugly side of addiction. Anyway, wish me luck, good luck to you and my next step is to locate a couple of N/A meetings I can deal with. I'm not big on the whole routine with the sponsor and "workin the steps" and all that but I go to get just what I need out of it- not what somebody says I should get...selfish addict in me I guess. Oh well, it's a start. Talk to you later.

[Danni23]

I've just begun to hear about suboxen. Besided cold turkey this will be my first attempt to try to get off oxys. I haven't had access yet to suboxen but Im hoping you guys can keep me posted on your success.