[daniel k]

It all started in 2002 when I was side swiped on the highway and came to an instantaneous stop at a guardrail. My spine was severely compressed, causing the lowest lumbar disc to rupture as well as permanent compression of the rest of my spine. I was in and out of hospitals, doctors, back specialists and physical rehab centers until just 5 months ago when I saw a neurosurgeon who believed an artificial disc replacement would be beneficial.

I went ahead and did the surgery and surprisingly recovered within 3 days enough to walk. Mind you, this was with the help of intravenous Dilaudid as well as oral 40mg OxyContin and 10/325 Hydrocodone as needed. I was released with prescriptions for 4x 40mg Oxy and 8x 10/325 Hydro each day. It worked quite well but as is well known, tolerance to Oxy builds up fast and I quickly found myself needing 300mg or more to relieve the pain. I knew it was getting out of control and despite not discussing it with my pain management doc, I went ahead and quit the Oxy cold turkey. I only attribute having the Hydro and a legal prescription from my PCP for Xanax for making it through.

I discussed it with my pain management doc and he agreed it was for the best. I continued with the Hydro at about the same rate, sometimes a little more. I started needing to see him more and more often, sometimes almost 2 weeks early. He always gave me the refills but warned me that it couldn't continue forever. As he began to wean me, I started finding other sources to keep my intake to about 150 mg per day.

Just 5 days ago, I hit rock bottom and realized this isn't the life I want to lead. I flushed any remaining pain pills and withdrew cold turkey, though it was a cakewalk compared to Oxy. I feel my old self coming back already but the pain in my back is also getting worse, or so I think.

Is this just my mind's way of rationalizing needing the Hydro? I know it hasn't been long, but I feel like I have trouble sleeping and even functioning because of the pain but I've also convinced myself that it's probably my mind imagining the pain. I do see my pain management doc in 5 days and I'm going to discuss it with him but I just wanted to hear what others have to say who may have been in a similar position as mine. I would like to try to go back on a small enough dose that I don't get the mental buzz but it helps relieve pain better than Tylenol or Ibuprofen by itself. I have a girlfriend who not only doesn't have an addictive personality but also gets sick from Hydro so I would have her help me ration the pills daily.

Has anyone else gone through a similar predicament? Has anyone gone from taking 15 pills a day, down to 0, and then successfully went back on pills at a reasonable level? Can it be done or do I sound like I have too addictive of a personality? I know no one can give me definitive answers but I'm open to any stories or suggestions.

Sorry for the long post, by the way